WARNING: TEEN ANGST INSIDE

[ExAm]

Okay, so remember that girl I was talking about a while ago? I'm sure SOME of you do. Let me fill you in.
Recently, she started confiding in me about her relationship, her feelings, and her life. She's gone through phases of "I HATE HIM" to "Maybe we have a misunderstanding" to "I think we've worked it out". She's told me of her feelings of inadequacy with her friends and boyfriend, to which I responded with comforting words and support. The more I talk to her, the more I notice the analogs between her life and mine, our interests, our fears and hopes. Needless to say, we're good friends and mutual confidants. Well, I've noticed that she's been kind of pulling away recently. I realized something. The more I try to hide my feelings for her, the more I confuse her and cause her to run, emotionally. And so, I cooked up this little number, to which I hope she will respond well. She's shown me that she can take almost anything, and I hope this is no exception:




I’ve just realized something that I’ve been feeling for a while, but never really acknowledged before. In our conversations, you’ve been honest with me about the issues in your life – what’s hurting you, how you’re feeling, the problems you face at times. The shocker for me is that I haven’t been one hundred percent expressive about mine. You’ve probably noticed some things about the way I act when I’m around you that give my feelings away, and I hate myself for not being more direct about it – I like you, more than I have anyone else. Every time I talk to you I learn another way in which we are similar, another aspect of ourselves over which we can connect. However, I’ve just been too afraid to talk more with you about them, I’m afraid to show my feelings for you, because I don’t want to complicate your life or your relationship, and I don't want to push you away. The trouble with doing that is, the more I try to hide it, the more it shows, albeit in a sort of fractured way, and the more mixed messages I end up sending, and the more it seems I’m causing you to pull away anyway. So I figure, in terms of worst-case scenarios, which is worse? Your pulling away as a result of me talking to you directly, or as a result of me being a hopeless emotional recluse who can't talk about his feelings to save his life? Obviously I'm choosing the former. I'm going to be straight and honest with you, because the thing that I care about first and foremost is our friendship, not my feelings for you, and I don’t want to let them get in the way of that friendship. And so, I will be honest. I like you, but I don’t want to go so far as to drive a wedge in your relationship, and I don’t want to lose you as the good friend you are. I’m sure you’ve got something to say, so talk to me and I’ll listen to you with all the respect and dignity you deserve. Hey, what are friends for, after all? :)

P.S.
You looked stunning on prom night. Damn, it feels good to finally say that.


Rate plz. How much of a hopeless romantic am I? :v:

[CN3089]

"What, so I don't look stunning every night? Is that what you're trying to say? http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c251/CN3089/Emoticons/emot-crying.gif"

[TeeKup]

Teekie wish's ExAm was gay.

[Bodzilla]

:|

it looks like a forum post mate :S

[ExAm]

Aren't all forum posts just a long string of sappy letters? :3

[Sel]

Id say 10/10 for hopeless romantic, after all, youre posting this on an internet forum :v:

[ExAm]

I'm an attention whore like Jay, minus the cross-dressing and lies. :v:

[TeeKup]

You need to act like a knight in shining armour, except using an M1A2 and wearing marine gear shouting "I LOVE YOU!!!!"

[ExAm]

she's shy like me - that would just embarrass her. Intensely. She'd never forgive me, lol.

[Leiukemia]

I'm waiting for her email saying she just wants to be friends, and the awkwardness that's about to go down between you. You're doing it wrong.

[TeeKup]

HEY LEIUK IS BACK. :3

[ExAm]

I'm waiting for her email saying she just wants to be friendsUm. That's the fucking point already >_>

Also, stereotype. Doesn't mean things are going to be bad. Plus, the awkwardness is only there if you MAKE it awkward by not TALKING.

[Stormwing]

fuck yeah friend zone amirite. Leiuk's right - you're doin it all wrong, unless being the rebound guy/emotional crutch is the sorta thing you like.

even if you go on with this, your little letter is too goddamn sappy and long. Either do some spacing or cut out all the unnecessary crap.

[ExAm]

Got a suggestion as to how ELSE I could do this without hurting her? Seriously, if you fuckwits are going to tell me I'm wrong, tell me how you think I should do it.

[STLRamsFan]

I'm personally against the whole letter thing in these type of situations to be quite honest. Seeing that you're shy I can understand why you wrote the letter (as I used to be really shy back then). Although I'm for the whole pulling her aside to a place where you would feel comfortable at and talking to her face to face sort of thing. That I feel is a more personal and friendlier any of doing it. Don't worry too much and think positive thoughts.

[Stormwing]

Got a suggestion as to how ELSE I could do this without hurting her? Seriously, if you fuckwits are going to tell me I'm wrong, tell me how you think I should do it.
She's THAT fragile? Personally there's no way I would get so emotionally invested in someone like that if I had the choice.

But since you're in the hole already, stop being so damn cautious and avoiding the point trying not to crack the ice. You sound like a reclusive antisocial loser in that little letter of yours. Stop dancing around and fucking break that ice. I won't write your love confession for you, but be direct and confident in what you want (whatever that is). atm it looks like you're blatantly saying "hey i wanna go out with you but since we're friends nvm kk :D PS-sorry ive been a secretive creep!!", and that makes you look like an idiot.

rating:
hopeless romantic 10/10
chances of getting her 1/10 (1 because women are unpredictable, otherwise 0)

also


You looked stunning on prom night. Damn, it feels good to finally say that.wtf why the hell couldn't you say that AT PROM? :confused:

edit: btw rams is right

[Random]

Tell her you're trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not you're allergic to sex.

She will understand.

[Boba]

You should mention your meat-finger more often.

[TeeKup]

ExAm an I have already been over the predictability of women last night. He couldn't say that at prom last night because he was shy and nervous. Does the term Introvert mean anything to you people?

ExAm this won't be easy. I myself use to be an extreme introvert, most of that however was attributed to my ADD medication, it made me a drone, lifeless, boring. I couldn't make heads or tales of myself. So I stopped using it, forced my parents to take me off of it. And now here I am.

With you however it's going to require a small revelation in your life. Problem is I don't know what it's going to be.

[STLRamsFan]

But since you're in the hole already, stop being so damn cautious and avoiding the point trying not to crack the ice. You sound like a reclusive antisocial loser in that little letter of yours. Stop dancing around and fucking break that ice. I won't write your love confession for you, but just be direct and confident in what you want. atm it looks like you're blatantly saying "hey i wanna go out with you but since we're friends nvm kk :D PS-sorry ive been a secretive creep!!", and that makes you look like an idiot.

also
wtf why the hell couldn't you say that AT PROM? :confused:


Storm nailed it here. If you guys have really been interacting and such, go for it dude. The worse thing that could happen is she says no. If she does, then move on. You gotta have confidence, confidence is the key. Without confidence your chances 0/10.

And yeeea, why didn't you just tell her she looked good at prom... I told a few girls that I knew at prom that they looked good. Not like they were going to think I was hitting on them haha. Understandable that you're shy but that would have made her feel really good about herself.

[SnaFuBAR]

here's a tip: lowering yourself in your love letter doesn't work, then affirming your position as a listening friend just axed it. you're staying in friendshipistan.

[ExAm]

I don't think I was really planning on sending it as a letter. More like a way to put down my thoughts before I tell her in some way where she has an immediate chance to respond.

Snaf - If this doesn't do the trick, how the hell am I supposed to do this so I'll have a chance in the future? She's already made it clear that she wants to give her boyfriend another chance.

[Stormwing]

ExAm an I have already been over the predictability of women last night. He couldn't say that at prom last night because he was shy and nervous. Does the term Introvert mean anything to you people?
Then stop fucking being one. Yeah, it's not easy, but if you wanna get ahead then suck it up and stop being so scared. Sure you're gonna make mistakes, sure things are gonna screw up, but you gotta learn at some point. Might as well be sooner rather than later.

and hell, it's highschool. fuck up, try again, nobody really cares.

[ExAm]

Then stop fucking being one. Yeah, it's not easy, but if you wanna get ahead then suck it up and stop being so scared. Sure you're gonna make mistakes, sure things are gonna screw up, but you gotta learn at some point. Might as well be sooner rather than later.

and hell, it's highschool. fuck up, try again, nobody really cares.I'm afraid you just don't understand this situation at all, sorry >_>

[Stormwing]

I'm afraid you just don't understand this situation at all, sorry >_>
in that case...requesting more info.
besides, most of the feedback you've been getting is saying (essentially) the same crap I'm spewing.

also, a word of possibly unrelated advice, but advice nonetheless - stop putting pussy/girls on a pedestal. They're people just like the rest of us. Would you say the same sort of thing to a guy? (minus the love part for the straight) Talk to her not as possible lovers but as a friend who's confident enough to REALLY help.

[TeeKup]

Then stop fucking being one. Yeah, it's not easy, but if you wanna get ahead then suck it up and stop being so scared. Sure you're gonna make mistakes, sure things are gonna screw up, but you gotta learn at some point. Might as well be sooner rather than later.

and hell, it's highschool. fuck up, try again, nobody really cares.

As retarded as that may sound it is right. I mean thats how guys learn. As a child your parents let you stick your fingers in a power socket, you got shocked, hurt like fuck, you never did it again. Thats how most things in life work. Take the risk, if it fails, try something else.

[SnaFuBAR]

Snaf - If this doesn't do the trick, how the hell am I supposed to do this so I'll have a chance in the future? She's already made it clear that she wants to give her boyfriend another chance.
i didn't say don't write a letter, i said don't make yourself sound like a douche.

[ExAm]

in that case...requesting more info.
besides, most of the feedback you've been getting is saying (essentially) the same crap I'm spewing.

also, a word of possibly unrelated advice, but advice nonetheless - stop putting pussy/girls on a pedestal. They're people just like the rest of us. Would you say the same sort of thing to a guy? (minus the love part for the straight) Talk to her not as possible lovers but as a friend who's confident enough to REALLY help.
Okay, well maybe I was wrong when I said you didn't understand - my point by that was that she and I are both introverted, and if one of us acts that way, then the other will understand why.

By the way, she's on MSN now, but I don't know exactly what to say to her at the moment. I want to get her in a good mood before I tell her, but she isn't responding much, and when she does it's a couple of words. Anyone got any suggestions on how I could get her in a good mood?

[SnaFuBAR]

don't hover over her. you're probably creeping her out.

[ExAm]

what do you mean by that? If by that you mean hanging on every message she sends and responding immediately, then no, I'm not.

In fact, I'm going to take a nap to get myself a bit more rested right now. Get my head clear.

[Stormwing]

Okay, well maybe I was wrong when I said you didn't understand - my point by that was that she and I are both introverted, and if one of us acts that way, then the other will understand why.
would it be better for both of you to stay introverted, or for both of you to stop being that way? Come on man! Take the lead and help her out of the same hole you've been stuck in. Even if you never get to be with her at least you can help her in some way.

As for the second part, iduno yet. Give her space and chill out. That nap sounds like a good idea.

[Agnaiel]

i didn't say don't write a letter, i said don't make yourself sound like a douche.

But, I will say don't write a letter. Trust me, been there, done that, sure as hell not doing it again.

One question about this: is she actually still going out with the guy? Or is she single at this point?

If she is going out with him, just don't say anything. It will completely ruin your friendship.

If not, then go ahead and tell her how you feel, but only if she asks.

[Hotrod]

Well, I've had some experience in this domain, and I think the best thing to do would be to take her aside somewhere, maybe outside for a walk, and tell her how you feel. It would probably be better if you told her that almost at the beginning. Try not to overwhelm her though.

[ExAm]

One question about this: is she actually still going out with the guy? Or is she single at this point?

If she is going out with him, just don't say anything. It will completely ruin your friendship.

If not, then go ahead and tell her how you feel, but only if she asks.Ok, took a nap

That's the thing - She is still going out with him. They went to Prom together. However, I don't think everything's going too well for their relationship. She's given him two chances so far to give her what she needs, and I don't want her to get stuck in an endless cycle. I don't know how to keep tabs on how she feels about him, or me, so I'm constantly in a state of confusion, and the trouble is, the more I try to hide the fact that I like her, the more I show it, and the more I push her away unintentionally. This frigging sucks, it's like the only ways out lead to either endless friend-zoneage or never seeing her again. I don't know what to say to her, and everyone here is only confusing me even more.

[STLRamsFan]

Just talk to her about how you feel. If she was a true friend, she would be understanding and all. You'll feel better letting it out than keeping to yourself about it.

[ExAm]

That's just it. I know I can do that, but from what I hear that leads to the Friend Zone, and my goal is to ultimately end up with her.

[Assault&Battery]

I'm an attention whore like Jay, minus the cross-dressing and lies. :v:
Hey! I resent that remark!

*Sigh*

I just turned this topic to shit, didn't I?

Oh well.
I'm sorry for everything I've done, I admit, I'm a bit of an attention whore. My main problem is that I can't think things through.
I understand no one really wants me here, but I have nothing better to do, honestly. I've tried getting into other hobbies, I've been practicing the guitar, painting, all sorts of shit, but it just doesn't fill the gap.
Part of me takes over and whores attention, and it always seems to get me in trouble. I don't think about it before I do it, I just do it. And I don't always whore it, I only seem to do it when no one's paying any attention to me, my body just NEEDS attention.
*Sigh*
Oh well.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is:
I'm sorry.

And about those pics of me in makeup:
I was in a production of "Sleeping Beauty" (http://www.fontanaheraldnews.com/shared-content/search/index.php?search=go&o=0&q=FoHi&d1=04-24-2008&d2=5-10-2008&s=relevance&r=Subject%2CAuthor%2CContent&l=20) (Second article down), and I played the main comic relief. Girlfriend wanted pics, I took pics, she got pics.

And I've already explained that one picture, lol. Don't think I need to do it again.

[Stormwing]

That's just it. I know I can do that, but from what I hear that leads to the Friend Zone, and my goal is to ultimately end up with her.
i would think your main choices would be:
1. Tell her everything, but focus on still being friends. (i.e. your letter)
2. Tell her everything, but straight up ask her out/tell her that you think her current bf sux
3. Start convince her that her bf sux, don't reveal anything else.
4. Maintain the status quo.

Depends on what risks you want to talk, and how direct you want to be.


edit: also jay gtfo of exam's topic douchefaceattentionwhore

[Assault&Battery]

edit: also jay gtfo cockwhore
As much as I don't want to turn your topic to shit, Exam, I DID explain why I came back: I have nothing else to do.
And I'm sorry for what I've done.

On a note that's more on-topic, I think that what you said on your letter would work wonders.

[Amit]

But, I will say don't write a letter. Trust me, been there, done that, sure as hell not doing it again.

One question about this: is she actually still going out with the guy? Or is she single at this point?

If she is going out with him, just don't say anything. It will completely ruin your friendship.

If not, then go ahead and tell her how you feel, but only if she asks.

Actually, I have first hand experience with the situation. The only problem is the reaction varies due to personality, environment, and well...genes.

This is kinda what happened to me recently...by that i mean like 2 months ago :lol: but what I did should be no different from what you should do. So this girl that I've known for about...4.5 years now has, or had a boyfriend through my temple. I've known the boyfriend for...well at least 8 years and we were really good friends but since around feb. last year he started getting distant and stuff. I never really noticed it and didn't care much. Now the girl, the first time I saw her I...well you could say immediately fell in love with her. I didn't give too much thought to it since it was quite unrealistic. It wasn't until last July that I actually started talking to her a lot. September comes around and we're really close friends. I obviously want to tell her how I felt but I couldn't because it was the same night that I was going to tell her that I found out that the "guy" was her boyfriend. I was so fucked up in the head. Like I didn't know what to feel from then on until about this March. I did talk to her a lot about her problems with her boyfriend in the period of time but she would never say who it was...as if I needed someone to tell me lol. A whole damn bunch of other ppl knew it as well. Well since my cousins go to her school, I told them both(girls, don't even try it) what my predicament was. Scary enough, their younger brother already knew :confused: To this day i dunno who told him lol. but eventually the news kinda spread through all my cousins(i have a huge family) and they started teasin me and stuff cuz I managed to convince the "girl" to come to my cousin's sweet sixteen. Ok, screw that part it's not important.

the next part was on msn.

What is important that after sitting back and watching her problem ridden relationship kinda crumble, I decided that I'd just come out and say it. I started talking to her...usual relationship crap comes out of her....and then I just tell her that there's something that I've wanted ot tell her for years. i said, "I love you." *pressed enter* she gave a not so surprised reply of, "Really?" although i couldn't see her I knew that she was torn in two right there. then she told me about the "guy" and then i told her why i delayed for so long and that I delayed since last july because i was afraid to tell her bcuz she was already with someone. everntually that shit got sorted out. Yeah she knows I love her....but it wasn't the same. I could feel it. She pitied me. I knew it. but eventually that pity turned to feeling sorry for me...and then it turned to easiness. she now doens't have to feel akward anymore because she kinda saw the signs before.

we talked on and off. sometimes not talking for a week or more at a time. But that's mainly cuz she wasn't on MSN too much. I talked to her a week ago, as well as today, and she apparently feels great respect for me now.

She tells me that she has dumped him and that she won't be the one running back to him this time. So I said what only a true friend would say. I told her the truth...i didn't tell her that I didn't feel anythign for her anymore although it's been drooping, i didn't tell her that I still loved her greatly( that'd be a lie).

Here are some excerpts from a chat log last month, hopefully they'll let you understand how this played through:

Her: im been kinda fucked up lately...for the past 3 weeks. buh ohh well..i dont care nemore i gess
Me: oh really? well something must be wrong because you don't usually swear like that
Me: what's wrong?Her:same shit..me and {the guy} arent talkin anymore
Her:we got in fights for like 3 weeks bout shit..and yea
Me: why does this keep happening?
Her:cuz we broke up i gess
Me: is he still on that? you guys are back together again tho right?
Her: nope. we broke up for good..*sigh
Me:recently?
Her: may 5th i think..i donno
Me: sorry
Her:yea itz ok thanks. but we like solve things..and get all nice..then we end up fighting again
Me: well..you have to someway keep conversations liek that from happening...i'm not sure what you guys exactly fight over but you just said it was relationship issues about the break up and stuff so I don't really know what to say
Her:yea. hes bein really mean i gess...and we juss had this whole convo last week..and it was so sad...and he knew i had tears..and this is over msn:Sand hes like dont cry(})like i swearrr he knows me soo well<|
Me:do you think he's playing with your emotions?
Her: yeaaa yur on my contact list now!!! :D :D
Her:noo..hes juss mad i gess..cuz of everythings thats going on...
Me:yeah
Me: maybe
Her: well...i dunno Amit...im nah gonna be the one to come running to him this time
Her: if he wants to tlak he can msg himself..cuz yea if he cant respect me or like care bout me even when im his ex..i dont wanna talk to him newayz
Me: hmm..i never gave much thought to your relationship because I didn't know it was riddled with so many problems but had I known before that his was happening i would have told you not to do anything to tlak to him until he trys to contact you first
Me:well that's if you're innocent...you could be carrying some of the blame for whatever it is as well.....
Her:yea ppl say we are soo cute and we were something so special..buh they donno whuts happening on the inside..behindd the scenes

(^^this is one of the parts where I show that i really want to help her. I forgot to ask "who" says their so cute. it never occurred to me :/ )

Her:well this happend since emw..we been fightingg..cuz i gess we both hurting..buh i think hes like this when he cant have me..buh he knows he likes me buh hes tellin himself he doesnt care
Me: well I can't say too much to you either. my words may be bias towards you and against him since you know that I....that I loved you. But I am quite confident that I'm trying to resolve this for the both of you
Her:lolitz ok
Her:im done with him anyways
Me:i dont want him nemore buh i cant help styll caring though...since i have all those memories outside temple with him..lol:$shhhh
Her: do yu styll love me thogh
Me: I sill love you but the lingering feelings...they never really fully go away *sigh* if it's ever happened to you before but i doubt it
Her: oh sorryy..i feel so bad tellin yu bout this stuff happening...cuz i kno yu loved me:$but yea sorry
Me: well....what can you do. You needed a friend to talk to ;)
Me: life isn't meant to be a joyrideHer:yea tru
Her:but sorry amit that's such a bitch move I've done
Me:i don't really see it that way. you said what was on your mind not knowing
Her: yea:$ thanks
Me: i won't deny that it bother s me tho
Her: :#ok
Me: lol don't let that choke you up
Her: itz so great of yu to still be there for me even though yu loved me and stuff
Her: thatz pretty nice of yu :)
Me: i keep my friends, I don't change them out for other ones
Her: :$ hehe thanks (l)
Me:alright I must go...i'm doing a comparison essay fist* so it's pretty much a double decker essay lol
Her: okiesss well it was really great talkin to yu again on msger.. yur one of my best friends :) so yeaa i have hmwk styllz...and yu shud work on yur essay:Pthanks though Amit ;) byeee (l)(l)
Me: Bye {the girl}. Stay out of trouble (L):)
Her:lol i'm good now :)(L)

So right now she talks to me whenever she can but her fat dumb fuck of a sister messed up their computer privelidges and now they can't go on MSN or facebook so I have almost zero communication with her except goin to temple on Sundays and I barely ever go these days.

The main point is, just tell her. Just fucking tell her. Don't make some dumbass speech. I'm sure she's heard that before. Just tell her that you want to tell her something personal, and then just say "I love you." It'll make a universal sized difference if you say it to her face and not through some box as i had to. Talk to her and explain the shit after. it'll be easier of a load on her. break it down one issue at a time and you will get through. it'll be way better if you can talk to her face to face...that way the feeling is there and you both know what the other thinks just by the body language. That's a luxury I wasn't afforded.

I'm waiting within the time limit that I feel is right. I don't exactly know how I'll approach this again but Summer is coming. It was then that this was all sparked. I want to keep the shining sun and warm days here but isn't my turf. I feel as though I'm in a foreign field. Winter is my time (being born in December). I feel at home on the battlefield of snow and of happy times.

Unfortunately I cannot help you any further if I have at all since I have not achieved yours or my initial endpoint. Mine has changed slightly but I will see what happens next.

[TeeKup]

As much as I don't want to turn your topic to shit, Exam, I DID explain why I came back: I have nothing else to do.
And I'm sorry for what I've done.

On a note that's more on-topic, I think that what you said on your letter would work wonders.

You're a deceitful parasite. Go the fuck away.

[SnaFuBAR]

You’ve probably noticed some things about the way I act when I’m around you that give my feelings away, and I hate myself for not being more direct about it

I’ve just been too afraid to talk more with you about them, I’m afraid to show my feelings for you, because I don’t want to complicate your life or your relationship, and I don't want to push you away.

me being a hopeless emotional recluse who can't talk about his feelings to save his life

the thing that I care about first and foremost is our friendship, not my feelings for you, and I don’t want to let them get in the way of that friendship.
Hey, what are friends for, after all? :)

P.S.
You looked stunning on prom night. Damn, it feels good to finally say that. (CREEPY!)

take a look at what i've pulled out of your little letter. you sound afraid to be with her. also, this reminded me of a couple of demotivational posters. kk?

http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/2696/anonymitymotivationalpopk1.jpg
http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/3940/relationshipsye7.jpg

[thehoodedsmack]

:words: I faked my sister's death :words:

Don't derail the topic.

ExAm, if you want to end up with the girl, you really only have one guaranteed option, and that's to wait for them to break up. If it seems that they're really into each other, then yes, your only option at that point is to confess your affection. However, that's the risky part, seeing as you may end up in friend country. Lord knows you don't want to stop there. If you're thinking of taking that route, don't act as though you're lying awake at night thinking about her. Act as though it's her decision. Don't put a lot of pressure on her. Take her aside while there aren't a lot of people around. Open up with something along he lines of:

"Yo, come here a second."

When she approaches, start with:

"Alright, I'm just gonna put this out there, okay? I love ya. Simple as that."

Expect a "What?" response.

"I (make a hand motion towards yourself, pause briefly) love (pause briefly) you" (put your hands on her shoulders).

Now at this point, she'll likely avert here eyes while she takes it in. Break any physical contact with her at this point, and don't wait too long to bring her back into the conversation. Don't let her have the next word, because this part is crucial. This is where you present yourself.

"Look. (pause) I am extremely (roll eyes upwards) attracted to you. (make eyes contact during next line) I care about you more than anything else in the world, and I had to make sure you knew that. (pause, then step back) So this is me. (hand motion towards yourself) Take it or leave it, eh? But I just had to say something, alright? And I need to know if there could ever be anything between us."

That's basically it. If she says no, give her a hug and say. "Okay, that's alright. We're cool, right?" She likely won't break friendship over this, so I can assume she'll say "Yeah, we're cool". If she says yes, ad-lib. Don't dismiss this tactic gentlemen, I've seen it work. This is how I got my girlfriend. But listen. Don't try to pull something if she seems to be in a successful relationship, unless you're almost sure it might work. That's my two cents.

[Rentafence]

Listen to Snafubar. Unfortunately for me I had no idea what I was doing and came off as anti-social, emotional and all the other things that were already pointed out. Needless to say, still no girlfriend for me.

[STLRamsFan]

That's just it. I know I can do that, but from what I hear that leads to the Friend Zone, and my goal is to ultimately end up with her.

Oh I understand that. The point I'm trying to make is, if she was a good friend (as of course you must be friends with a person before you can take the next step) then she won't embarrassyou if she isn't interested. You know what I'm saying. I know that you're trying to get to her, but the only way you're gonna be able to do that is to put yourself out there. The main concern for you is her embarrassing you which shouldn't be the case if you two have known each other for awhile.
I made a mistake of not putting myself out there when I had a crush on a girl through out high school and still regret it. Although I used that mistake to help me get over being shy and finally getting my first kiss. You'll regret not doing it more than doing it.

[ExAm]

I obviously want to tell her how I felt but I couldn't because it was the same night that I was going to tell her that I found out that the "guy" was her boyfriend. I was so fucked up in the head. Like I didn't know what to feel from then on until about this March. I did talk to her a lot about her problems with her boyfriend

Holy shit, man. I just tripped out. That's exactly what happened to me!

Well since my cousins go to her school, I told them both(girls, don't even try it) what my predicament was.

Not exactly the same this time, I told her best friend, who happens to be my friend as well :P

Scary enough, their younger brother already knew :confused:

Even less similar to your situation, but another friend of mine already knew, as well.





What is important that after sitting back and watching her problem ridden relationship kinda crumble, I decided that I'd just come out and say it. I started talking to her...usual relationship crap comes out of her....and then I just tell her that there's something that I've wanted ot tell her for years. i said, "I love you." *pressed enter* she gave a not so surprised reply of, "Really?" although i couldn't see her I knew that she was torn in two right there. then she told me about the "guy" and then i told her why i delayed for so long and that I delayed since last july because i was afraid to tell her bcuz she was already with someone. everntually that shit got sorted out. Yeah she knows I love her....but it wasn't the same. I could feel it. She pitied me. I knew it. but eventually that pity turned to feeling sorry for me...and then it turned to easiness. she now doens't have to feel akward anymore because she kinda saw the signs before.

we talked on and off. sometimes not talking for a week or more at a time. But that's mainly cuz she wasn't on MSN too much. I talked to her a week ago, as well as today, and she apparently feels great respect for me now.

She tells me that she has dumped him and that she won't be the one running back to him this time. So I said what only a true friend would say. I told her the truth...i didn't tell her that I didn't feel anythign for her anymore although it's been drooping, i didn't tell her that I still loved her greatly( that'd be a lie).
So right now she talks to me whenever she can but her fat dumb fuck of a sister messed up their computer privelidges and now they can't go on MSN or facebook so I have almost zero communication with her except goin to temple on Sundays and I barely ever go these days.

The main point is, just tell her. Just fucking tell her. Don't make some dumbass speech. I'm sure she's heard that before. Just tell her that you want to tell her something personal, and then just say "I love you." It'll make a universal sized difference if you say it to her face and not through some box as i had to. Talk to her and explain the shit after. it'll be easier of a load on her. break it down one issue at a time and you will get through. it'll be way better if you can talk to her face to face...that way the feeling is there and you both know what the other thinks just by the body language. That's a luxury I wasn't afforded.

I'm waiting within the time limit that I feel is right. I don't exactly know how I'll approach this again but Summer is coming. It was then that this was all sparked. I want to keep the shining sun and warm days here but isn't my turf. I feel as though I'm in a foreign field. Winter is my time (being born in December). I feel at home on the battlefield of snow and of happy times.

Unfortunately I cannot help you any further if I have at all since I have not achieved yours or my initial endpoint. Mine has changed slightly but I will see what happens next.
Hmm. Well, I'll keep that in mind. This has to be the best sounding advice I've heard so far, since it has a good experience to back it up, and not some stereotype.

[ExAm]

As much as I don't want to turn your topic to shit, Exam, I DID explain why I came back: I have nothing else to do.
And I'm sorry for what I've done.Meh. Forgive and forget, I guess. I'm pretty good at that. Just don't fucking do it again, k?

[Leiukemia]

You're biggest screw up is that you've even thought about it this much. Take a nap and get your head clear? the fuck? You're putting in way too much thought. If I was a girl, and I knew a guy was just working and working on how he could get me it would creep me out too. Just let things happen, you don't need a plan you need a goal. You're a fucking man, take what is yours. If you can't do it, move on. It's better to start off fresh I'd say actually for you. Drop the highschool crush shit. Your goal right now should be just an awesome girl. ANY GIRL. Just look at all the bullshit you've had to go through now trying to get this girl. It's a waste of your time. There's a low chance anything will happen between you, and nows the time to pack your shit and move on. Until you really get to know a girl, AFTER you're already going out for awhile, you shouldn't not be sleeping at night thinking about some stupid girl. I'm sorry if this all sounds like asshole shit, but unless you find your inner asshole, and learn how to use it properly, everyone is just going to fuck you over.

[Bad Waffle]

oh geez leiuk, that was a breeze of fresh air. I guess i don't have to say anything now. Other than you're a bit harsh on the guy. not everybody is tainted like us. Maybe he's a nice guy whose met a nice girl? or maybe the nice girl is just an immature innocent one who doesn't know her men?

oh hey, there goes that jaded side of me again.

[Amit]

oh geez leiuk, that was a breeze of fresh air. I guess i don't have to say anything now. Other than you're a bit harsh on the guy. not everybody is tainted like us. Maybe he's a nice guy whose met a nice girl? or maybe the nice girl is just an immature innocent one who doesn't know her men?

oh hey, there goes that jaded side of me again.

Damn. :eyesroll:

[CN3089]

You're biggest screw up

He is biggest screw up? You people do this because you know it enrages me, don't you? DON'T YOU?


Also it's leukemia, not leiukemia.

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c251/CN3089/Emoticons/emot-nazi.gifhttp://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c251/CN3089/Emoticons/grammarnazi3ni.gifhttp://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c251/CN3089/Emoticons/emot-nazi.gif

Also this thread is horrible just say you want to stick it in you pussy

[SnaFuBAR]

Also, women don't like that "i dun wan tew hurt yer feelengz, eim a naic guy n ai lyk u, k?"

Be ASSERTIVE.

[m13120]

:words:
Don't try to turn this topic into your own shit about apologizing, you'd be better off making your own topic to apologize like illegalcheatsman.

Ontopic:
ExAm, as easy as it might've seemed to ask for advice here, I'm sure you've noticed it isn't as simple. Since none of us here besides you actually know this girl that you like, we don't know anything about her like her personality etc. Also since we don't know her personality, we don't know how she would react to the advice that has been given to you. I guess to put it simply is, there's no surefire way for everyone to find your way to a girl's heart, everyone just has to find their own path. Some girls will find it awkward if you just plainly say "I love you" yet others will not. Same thing for probably any other strategy that has been used to get a girl. Now I'm not saying disregard all the advice that has been given, I'm just saying you should listen to the advice given and see if someone actually has some that your girl will have a positive reaction to and will help you reach your girl. Since I too have a girl that I wish to admit my feelings to, I'm also listening to the advice being given here. In my opinion, smack's advice has been the best yet that I think will help you. But also make sure that she is single first if you do plan to do something like that and that she is ready to have another boyfriend. I think if she can see your confidence and how much you mean it, you'll reach your goal. Whatever you plan to do, best of luck to you

[Bad Waffle]

hell, do what i do. If you really ARE good buddies, then just go up to her and ASK HER ON A DATE. Say you'll take her to dinner or something. Walk around the park, whatever. You gotta be friendly about asking her out, and you can start telling her about prom when it will obligatorily come up in discussion on said date. Be assertive and give ideas, but be open enough to just do whatever. And if she says no, then you say--"oh well jeez woman, you really did a good job leading me on and all that jazz! Lets get back to being good buddies now that the awkwardness is passing. Come on, i'll buy you a drink!"

End of story. it's worked for me in the past. BOTH ways (denial and acceptance)

[Stormwing]

WoL's got a good one.

also, a great still-friends-sorta-maybe/early-in-relationship/first date idea - ICE CREAM. Hit your local cold stone or haagen daz and sit back and chill. No pressure, and everyone loves ice cream. And if the place gets crowded or boring, go to a park or something. You can't lose.

[ExAm]

hell, do what i do. If you really ARE good buddies, then just go up to her and ASK HER ON A DATE. Say you'll take her to dinner or something. Walk around the park, whatever. You gotta be friendly about asking her out, and you can start telling her about prom when it will obligatorily come up in discussion on said date. Be assertive and give ideas, but be open enough to just do whatever. And if she says no, then you say--"oh well jeez woman, you really did a good job leading me on and all that jazz! Lets get back to being good buddies now that the awkwardness is passing. Come on, i'll buy you a drink!"

End of story. it's worked for me in the past. BOTH ways (denial and acceptance)
That'd be weird, since she's GOT A BOYFRIEND

[Pope]

That'd be weird, since she's GOT A BOYFRIEND
If you want it go for it man, don't be asking us. One thing for sure though, don't separate them or anything because that will just bring problems in the long run.

[Bodzilla]

oh geez leiuk, that was a breeze of fresh air. I guess i don't have to say anything now. Other than you're a bit harsh on the guy. not everybody is tainted like us. Maybe he's a nice guy whose met a nice girl? or maybe the nice girl is just an immature innocent one who doesn't know her men?

oh hey, there goes that jaded side of me again.
word up.

:|

[nooBBooze]

Hold on there's got to be an MSPaint Relationship-Comic Transaltion of this...
EDIT:
http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/e/eb/SPniceguys.gif
No offence D:

[Bananarama]

I don't think that was MS paint... Was it?

[Corndogman]

You could still ask her on a date even though shes got a boyfriend. If you happen to be talking to her about her boyfriend and their problems casually throw in there something like "how about we go out tonight to take your mind off of things." Since your good friends chances are you will have fun and she'll be in a good mood. Then you can tell her how you feel at some point. just an idea.

[ExAm]

Hold on there's got to be an MSPaint Relationship-Comic Transaltion of this...
EDIT:
*snip*
No offence D:Lol, yeah, the problem I see with most of those situations is that the nice guy never tells the girl how he feels. I plan to actually tell her. Where that'll lead, I don't know. My strategy now is just to say this:


Okay, I'm going to be honest. I like you, I always have. I'm not expecting you to do anything here. The ball's in your court, as it were, but only if you want to play. All I ask is that you talk back.New, improved, with the bullshit cut out and an (hopefully) anti-friendzone device installed.

Oh, and the date idea you're proposing, corndogman, would be good if she was actually still having second thoughts about her relationship. But she's pretty much got it worked out from what I hear, at least for now. I did propose that we "Hang out to get your mind off of things" when she WAS having second thoughts, and she agreed that it would be fun, but it never went through - she and her dad had plans that weekend, and she worked it out with her boyfriend afterwards.

[SnaFuBAR]

Did you ever think that it might come off as jealousy that things between them are seemingly improving and you were lurking during their low point for your chance?

[ExAm]

I was actually helping her through it, tbh >_>
I couldn't just urge her to break up. I gave her some warnings, but I did my best to support her decision.

[Amit]

I couldn't just urge her to break up.

Because that is totally out of the reach of comprehension. If you had the power to replace him, would you? Not everyone knows the answer to that. You might say "no" but deep down you really mean "yes."

In my situation I can't say I wouldn't. However, I don't know. I could try since in my case she is "done" with him but...for reasons in my previous posts I will not pursue her any farther...just yet.

By now I think you've received more than a reasonable amount of advice from this community. Just wing it dammit, it's a HUGE, UNIMAGINABLE, FUCKING RELIEF to just get it off the chest. DO IT! Not because it's the thing to do, but because I'm telling you to. Otherwise, it won't happen.

Damn, boy, you need some fucking motivation and there it s right there^^.

[ExAm]

I have all the motivation I need.

[Leiukemia]

This is something that should have been resolved in a matter of days. Stop wasting your time.

[ExAm]

Enough of that shit, already. I know! Jesus!

[ExAm]

Topic over. I changed my approach.