What to do =(

[Jean-Luc]

I would like serious suggestions here, as this is a real problem for me.

Here's the situation:

I go to college in California, and I live with my aunt and uncle there who invited me to stay. They give me free rent, free food, and for the most part, free gas. A good deal, to be sure, as their intentions are in the right place as far as that goes.

In the six months I've been there, there have been issues; some big, some small. The biggest issue by far is my uncle. Unbeknownst to me before I moved there, my uncle is a control freak, and a health nut, not exactly a great combo. Since I've been there, he has systematically lowered my independence level. Here are a few of my new rules, rules that I did not agree to when I first moved in.

1) Off computer by 10PM, must be awake by 6:45AM every morning, so I can be out of the house from 7AM to 9AM for my uncle to get ready for the day.
2) 1 hour of strenuous exercise every day.
3) Walk the dog twice a day.
4) Eat what I say is okay to eat.

There are a few others, but you get the point.

A smaller issue is the dog. She's a 4 year old Jack Russell Terrier. For those of you who have one, they are nightmares if they are not trained. This one has never been trained, and is hell on wheels. She has destroyed no less than 3 pieces of artwork of mine, eaten my food on several occasions, bitten me upwards of 15 times (drawing blood twice), barks almost constantly, gets possessive of my things/food/room.

Ordinarily, this would be just an annoyance, as I would find a way to train the dog. The catch is, I'm not allowed to train/reprimand the dog, as my aunt and uncle feel like it's being too mean to the dog, and it's "just the way she is."


To compound all this, my being in college is putting a heavy strain on my parents. They would never admit it, but I know it's going on. It's destroying me to see my parents forking out this kind of money when we are cutting it close as it is.

I'm not looking for a solution to these problems, if there even is a solution. I would just like some input here, preferably from people who have experience in this sort of thing.

Thanks. :)

[LinkandKvel]

Keep applying for better jobs to afford your own place really. If I were you I'd go crazy under those guidelines. Not being able to eat what you want unless your allowed by someone else is ridiculous, especially at your own age. About the dog problem I would have thrown it at a fucking wall by now honestly. Obviously it's harassing you and they don't want to do anything about it.

[Dwood]

I would leave. I define them as freaks, no offense.

[LinkandKvel]

Oh yea, plus the fact it wasn't a pre-made agreement.

[Needles]

Making you exersize and eat health really doesn't sound bad at all. Off the PC at 10pm is a little annyoing, but not a big deal. And the dog seems bad, but ignoreable.

If it'll really be a struggle to stay without your family, then stay. If you would have no problem with bills and paying for your own place, leave.

[dark57]

I can help you with the dog problem. When your walking him and no one is looking he magicaly gets off his leash.

[Jean-Luc]

Making you exersize and eat health really doesn't sound bad at all. Off the PC at 10pm is a little annyoing, but not a big deal. And the dog seems bad, but ignoreable.

If it'll really be a struggle to stay without your family, then stay. If you would have no problem with bills and paying for your own place, leave.

Believe me, it's not the fact that I'm exercising and eating right, I have no problem with that. My problem is that I am dictated to do it when my uncle wants me to, and it's a requirement for me to obey if I want to live in the house. I mean shit, I'll exercise and eat healthier, but I'd have less of a problem if I could do it on my own time.

[dark57]

but I'd have less of a problem if I could do it on my own time.

Of course you have asked him that right.

[MetKiller Joe]

I would thank your lucky stars that you have free room, board, and gas + somebody you consider family to force you to do good things for your body during college (when most people let go of their health).

But if you don't like it, move out, there are other options such as paying room and board where you can do whatever is your heart's desire.

[Snowy]

I really don't think any of these are big enough deals to warrant moving out. There's no such thing as a free lunch. They're giving you free rent,gas, etc. but you have to deal with some of their annoyances.

Maybe try taking the dog to your local petco or petsmart and have them train it. Or Dark's suggestion seems to be pretty good.

[Jean-Luc]

I really don't think any of these are big enough deals to warrant moving out. There's no such thing as a free lunch.


I agree. What I do think I need to do is to make my uncle understand that he does not have the right to control me. He can guide me along the right path all he wants, but I think this shit with making up rules when he finds it convienient needs to go, along with the 10PM off the computer rule, as I'm in college studying to become a professional CGI artist.

[TeeKup]

Have you tried speaking to him in a reasonable manner?

[KiDD]

Have you tried speaking to him in a reasonable manner?


Just what I was gonna say. If you are in college, getting off the computer by ten is for like elementary school kids. If someone made me get up at 6:45 on a weekend when I had nothing to do. Shit would go down....SHIT would go down. :mad:

[Jean-Luc]

Have you tried speaking to him in a reasonable manner?

Absolutely, and on multiple occasions. I think I've lost my temper with him...maybe 4 times in the entire 6 months I've been there. I always try to argue with rationality. Unfortunately, with the way he is, that doesn't work.

[Needles]

Absolutely, and on multiple occasions. I think I've lost my temper with him...maybe 4 times in the entire 6 months I've been there. I always try to argue with rationality. Unfortunately, with the way he is, that doesn't work.
Ha, he sounds like a less-worse version of my dad.

[Gamerkd16]

Have you tried speaking to him in a reasonable manner?


Shit would go down....SHIT would go down. :mad:
Right....because that is a reasonable manner.

[Apoc4lypse]

Right....because that is a reasonable manner.

which is why he was asking if he used a resonable manner xD.

Normal people would be like... no, and be like are you crazy. (Depending on age tho tbh). Thus why he asked if he had tried being resonable yet assuming he was already reacting argumentively, but he said he didn't.

Its a common misconception that kids are less likely to do as told than adults. Adults think there grown and dont need to listen to other people more likely than kids thus there headstrong or alot of them are, kids are more "suggestible" easily influenced, so ud have less trouble telling a kid to do something like that, idk it depends on the person.

[LinkandKvel]

Its a common misconception that kids are less likely to do as told than adults. Adults think there grown and dont need to listen to other people more likely than kids thus there headstrong or alot of them are, kids are more "suggestible" easily influenced, so ud have less trouble telling a kid to do something like that, idk it depends on the person.
ummm....what?

[Jelly]

Does the dog do the same things to your Aunt and Uncle? If not, it may just be the dog getting used to you.

If so, talk to your aunt; she seems to be more rational than your uncle, and would be a good proxy for getting messages across to him. Show her that teaching a dog to behave is a positive experience for both the owners and the pet. I'm sure a few posters here have dogs which they trained, so they can give you a list of benefits.

[Timo]

I would thank your lucky stars that you have free room, board, and gas + somebody you consider family to force you to do good things for your body during college (when most people let go of their health).

But if you don't like it, move out, there are other options such as paying room and board where you can do whatever is your heart's desire.
This. You're lucky to get all of this for free - the benefits (free food, accomodation, gas money, healthy eating) definitely outweigh the negatives (waking up early and turning your computer off). There's no need to add an additional burden to your parents by wanting to rent a place out, unless of course you think you can pick up enough work to pay for what you're currently getting for free.

I'm going to get into on campus accomodation for university this year (rent with people I meet up with the following year), but i'll end up setting myself back $10,000 for it.

[Syuusuke]

If you need a job, work-study! Get paid to study.

But yes, you're offered a generous place to stay under. I think the reason you don't like this is because you haven't lived your entire life with them, just think, you may get used to do this and in the end, you know the result will be beneficial.

[L0d3x]

Believe me when I say that I know what it's like when someone makes up new rules that fit them, and you cannot refuse it or they get all ill-tempered on you.

The way I dealt with it is by becoming as independent of them as possible. For example, my dad used to offer help with my uni-education. While it was handy, it was used against me since he thought I wouldnt have passed were it not for him.

Another example: I was limited with what I was allowed to do on the family computer, due to it being...the family computer.
So I worked hard and earned enough money to buy my own laptop. This way they have no say at all about when and how I use it.

I've come to learn that arguing with them is useless as well, since they always want the last say and always have to be right.

So all in all, try to become as independent as possible. If you can, pay for part of your education (for example, it was not untill I offered to pay like half of my dorm, that I was actually allowed to go on one...later on they even decided I did not have to carry that burden, perhaps they already appreciated the gesture alot).

In closing, I would just like to say that besides the things I just described, my dad is actually rather awesome.

[Donut]

put yourself up for adoption

but seriously, my cousin's parents used to be like that until a couple of months ago, and when they were with me they tried to pull it on me too. i just tried to be respectful and put up with it for a couple of hours since i dont see them that often.
have they ever had kids? it could be that your uncle just doesnt know how to deal with a kid your age. try to impress him with grades or something.
im a lazy fuck so strict stuff like "you can only play a game for 30 minutes a day" is bullshit to me, especially since a few games take more than a half hour to get from save point A to save point B.
if grades and maturity wont change your uncle's mind, i think your best bet is to start working and save up money to move out. maybe board with somebody in an apartment and split the bills
oh, and try not to do what my cousin does. he argues back with his parents and commands them around.
"i found the turtle food but theres not much left. buy more next time you go to walmart"

[FireDragon04]

When you finish high school and go into further education the government actually gives you money here in England, also when you go to university you get everything paid for you, Accommodation, Living Fees, General Money Grants and even Tuition. But your parents do have to make under a certain amount when you originally go into further education.
So, unfortuantly I've never experienced these problems, but we do have a dog that barks at anything that moves near the front door...even that's like 90 yards away, he's a crazy little Shih-tzu, but we just live with it now after 3 years, so.

The way i get around not having to turn the computer off at stupid times is having my own computer and in my own room, and being quiet so i don't bother anyone.

Sorry i can't help anymore, and sucks about your situation, hope you can sort something out.