Post your FMLs

[STLRamsFan]

Had an FML moment? Need to post it but don't know where? Now's your chance! As the title indicates, post your FML moment of the day.

For those who don't know the format, it's relatively simple. All you have to do is make a small statement that's FMLish and at the end post an "FML" at the end of it. Simple ain't it?

And since I know people will abuse this for +1s, here's some simple guidelines:



You can post only ONE FML moment per day.
Comments/laughs are fine but try to keep the +1 type posts to a mimium for this thread's sake.
No venting, please... :gonk:
Just use your head, I'm sure no one wants this closed within a minute. :)

I'll start up for my FML moment of the day:

I was running in the woods and got attacked by a bunch of pissed off yellow jackets. I'm in pain yet everyone is still making fun of me. FML.

[Limited]

A: What the hell does FML mean?
B: Who are these yellow jacket guys?

[STLRamsFan]

A: What the hell does FML mean?
B: Who are these yellow jacket guys?

A: F**k my life
B: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellow_jacket

[Limited]

Oooh, wasps...

The other day my sister and her BF came around for dinner. I was upstairs working on some OS stuff. skyline likes to make the code a tad more interesting so he names variables after sexual stuff, lol.

My sister popped into my room to say hi and asked what I was doing, she looked on the screen and saw all the erotic words and goes wth is this.

I attempted to explain but she didnt listen. She now thinks I'm making a porn website.

The FML part, was she told her bf and my parents and we had a big discussion during dinner, which was embarrassing even though I kept saying I wasnt making a porn site.

[Rob Oplawar]

Four weeks ago I spent half an hour explaining to my boss why a different technology would be faster, better, easier, cheaper for what he wanted me to do, and it would take me all of the afternoon to implement. He told me "That's great, do it the way I told you to anyway." I finally finished implementing his version last week. FML.

[Donut]

i lost my house, had to rebuild my grandparents old shed house thing, then they kicked my family out of that, my girlfriend's parents hate me even though theyve never met me so she wasnt allowed to see me on my birthday or until the end of the summer, my grandmother has decided that im a social misfit and is condemning my relationship, my parents cant get along long enough for me to get my passport (but i think since im 16 now, i can get it with just one parent), i cant get my liscence because i dont have a social security card, my dad doesnt have a car anymore, and none of us have much money.

waiting for somebody to tell me im a bitch and to wait until im 18 and my parents kick me out

[Jean-Luc]

That's...that's not FML...that's just depressing :saddowns:

[cheezdue]

That's...that's not FML...that's just depressing :saddowns:
.

[TVTyrant]

i lost my house, had to rebuild my grandparents old shed house thing, then they kicked my family out of that, my girlfriend's parents hate me even though theyve never met me so she wasnt allowed to see me on my birthday or until the end of the summer, my grandmother has decided that im a social misfit and is condemning my relationship, my parents cant get along long enough for me to get my passport (but i think since im 16 now, i can get it with just one parent), i cant get my liscence because i dont have a social security card, my dad doesnt have a car anymore, and none of us have much money.

waiting for somebody to tell me im a bitch and to wait until im 18 and my parents kick me out
Is that why youve been avoiding me on XFire :smith:

[Llama Juice]

post your FML moment of the day.


i lost my house, had to rebuild my grandparents old shed house thing, then they kicked my family out of that, my girlfriend's parents hate me even though theyve never met me so she wasnt allowed to see me on my birthday or until the end of the summer, my grandmother has decided that im a social misfit and is condemning my relationship, my parents cant get along long enough for me to get my passport (but i think since im 16 now, i can get it with just one parent), i cant get my liscence because i dont have a social security card, my dad doesnt have a car anymore, and none of us have much money.

waiting for somebody to tell me im a bitch and to wait until im 18 and my parents kick me out

Sounds like a busy day!

As for my FML? I actually wanted to post this on FML earlier, decided against though.

I dropped my keys on the dry sidewalk. FML

[FRain]

Oh, you live in tacoma! I live across the narrows in Gig harbor

[Cojafoji]

i lost my house, had to rebuild my grandparents old shed house thing, then they kicked my family out of that.
believe it or not, i know exactly how you feel. when i was a kid my father lost his job and eventually went bankrupt, so we moved into a house that my mothers brother owned. he agreed to let us stay until we could get back on our feet. rent free. that is until my aunt, his wife, decided that we should start paying a ridiculously high rent. ps, the house was a refurbed crack den. yeah, you heard me right. the people accross the street burned down their home freebasing cocaine, and the farmhouse at the end of the street was still a crack den. when we first moved in, there were still heroine needles in the rafters. anyway, we left the house because she was a cunt, rented a nice house in pennsylvania (back from NJ), and my dad started a good busineess, until his partner stolle 17,000 dollars from him. the landlord decided to sell the house, and the realtor, the same guy who coached the opposite of my brothers little league team, told his son to walk my brother by throwing the ball at his head, was a dick and told us we had 3 weeks to move out. we moved out, bought a house which eventually caused my father to go bankrupt again because he could never get his business back off the ground. we moved here, a nice rented place, same town, and he got a new job. he's doing alright, paying down his debt and making a killing doing what he was born to do (face to face selling) for SALT insurance group. (he goes, tells people that they'll rework their taxes to fit new tax laws, and whatever they save in taxes, they keep half). anyway. success is just how high the ball bounces after you hit rock bottom. wow. long winded diatribe there eh? anyway, all i'm trying to say is that it'll all work out in the end.

[klange]

Lost out on a $1000 scholarship due to a rant on my blog. fML

[ICEE]

i lost my house, had to rebuild my grandparents old shed house thing, then they kicked my family out of that, my girlfriend's parents hate me even though theyve never met me so she wasnt allowed to see me on my birthday or until the end of the summer, my grandmother has decided that im a social misfit and is condemning my relationship, my parents cant get along long enough for me to get my passport (but i think since im 16 now, i can get it with just one parent), i cant get my liscence because i dont have a social security card, my dad doesnt have a car anymore, and none of us have much money.

waiting for somebody to tell me im a bitch and to wait until im 18 and my parents kick me out

I am going to fly out there and get you. Seriously. You can live with me, I just won't get another dog like I'd planned. :downs:
but srsly.

My boss is conspiring against me... my best work-friend and I will probably get canned. (he definitely will, I have about a 50% chance). without going into to much detail, FML.

[LesserOf2Evils]

This thread should be used as an anti depressant. I'm feeling much more satisfied with my life.

[rossmum]

i exist. humanity exists. at the same time.

fml

[Atty]

Since I already know I won't get a date for Saturday night I've picked out my porn in advance. FML

[PlasbianX]

I dated the girl of my dreams for 4 months. I was completely in love with her and would die for her if I had to. She was my life and she was my everything. She always showed the same love for me that I showed for her. Then she pulled a complete 180 and cheated on me and dumped me. Now 2 months later im still not over her, I cant ever fucking sleep, and I feel like shit 24/7. Oh, and shes pregnant now from the guy she cheated on me with. FML.

[Aerowyn]

No matter how much I try, I can't seem to get the man of my dreams to commit to a relationship of any kind. FML.

No. Seriously. Fuck that shit.

[English Mobster]

My gf (now ex-gf) fucking hates me now.
FML.

[Xetsuei]

Lost out on a $1000 scholarship due to a rant on my blog. fML

Holy shit. I don't mind to be an ass but I'd like to hear the story.


My gf (now ex-gf) fucking hates me now.
FML.

:ohdear:

[ThePlague]

for the fourth time in a day i'm reformatting my computer, and i'm not even sure if it'll work yet. FML

[NuggetWarmer]

I told my parents that I could be getting a job that'll get me through college and help me with my final career choice. They said "yeah, right" and told me to do the dishes.

FML

[n00b1n8R]

My gf (now ex-gf) fucking hates me now.
FML.
You've changed all your passwords now, right?

[Kornman00]

I actually didn't know what FML stood for until yesterday :v:

Today is very much a 'FML' day. It's just another day proving that the unit I'm in needs me way more than I need it. People have become way too fucking dependent on me and if I went AWOL tomorrow right now things would just fall apart because I'm pretty much the only IT guy left here as I'm always cleaning up after the other one we have. Fuck, the sad thing is I didn't even sign up or train to do IT shit, while the other guy's actual MOS IS for dealing with computer and hardware.

The Army is lucky they put me in Germany, makes me think trice when it comes to AWOL. Would only think twice if I was in the States :downs:. They're also lucky that I actually care about my life, or else I wouldn't hesitate to take an other's :neckbeard:.

Thank god for Metallica. And FML.


No matter how much I try, I can't seem to get the man of my dreams to commit to a relationship of any kind. FML.

No. Seriously. Fuck that shit.
Give them the candy bra treatment, that will set them straight :woop:

But seriously, at least you're not having this problem at an older age like other people. There is still much time in your life to experience new dreams

[Teroh]

i dont have a social security card
Memorize your number. I did.

[Bodzilla]

i'm 2 and a half years through a 4 year course and i've realized theres nothing for me at the end of it.
i'll make minimum wage
i wont get paid overtime
and i hate everybody in the industry.

FML

[Reaper Man]

Ohh boy, here we go.

Two weeks ago, I had three days of hell.

Day 1
My old childhood friend kills himself, I am distraught.
Day 2
After finally she finally has some free time (due to a full time job) I hang out with my girlfriend and a couple of her friends. Hoping to cheer up a bit. She's extremely distant the whole night, she was more interested in talking to this guy friend of hers that was visiting from England. Finally, as the night nears its close, it's just me and her, and I'm happy. She then turns to me and says that she thinks we should break up. Took me completely by surprise. The only consolation, is that after we talked it out a bit, it ended somewhat mutually.
Day 3
I have a job photographing a wedding cocktail party. I'm crazy depressed, as I'd just broken up with my first girlfriend, had to put on a smile the whole time. I get back, hope to just relax, have some time to myself. I get a call from a friend - it's his birthday, he wants me to go barhopping with him and the guys, also so that I can cheer up. After much convincing I go with them. I spend the night, somewhat mellow, not too bad - was catching up with a couple friends of mine who were visiting from England. The friend who invited me gets quite drunk, we decide to get him home, as we're trying to leave the bar district he stumbles (it's quite crowded, due to it being the beer festival). He stumbles, reaches out to catch himself, accidentally grabs a woman's breast. She freaks out, screams for the police. They try to get him into the van for questioning at the police station, he insists to take one of us with him because he's freaking out. They refuse, try to push him in when they become impatient, he panics and flails around, trying to push the cops away, they tackle him in and sit on his chest - where he'd been operated on a week before, opening up the wound. We all rush in taxis to the police station. Spend most of the night there, till I couldn't take it anymore and took the 3am ferry home. Crawled into bed, stressed as fuck.

FML.

[Llama Juice]

I spent all night dicking around on Modacity rather than doing actual work. FML

[Bodzilla]

i just realized i've spent over 3 hours trolling around the internet for pictures of a model and i wasnt even trying to spank the monkey FML

[Kornman00]

He was like...

FML

:suicide:

(even tho it wasn't with a gun)

[Llama Juice]

^
http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/2802/suicide.gif

Also, I've had this horrible cough for the past four-five days that just won't go away. The sneezing finally quit, but this cough is brutal. It gets to the point where I can't breathe and I start seeing black spots everywhere before falling over onto the couch/counter/table/floor to just try to focus on not coughing. Not a fan. err

FML

[Jean-Luc]

Dog was outside digging. I tried pulling her out of the hole, kicking her a couple times (not hard), and even bribing her with food. It took almost 6 minutes to get her to stop, during which time she had dug a basketball sized hole in the ground.

I eventually coaxed her back inside. Feeling triumphant, it was about this time when I realized I had led the dog in, with dirt on her paws, onto the freshly cleaned carpet of the living room.

FML

[kid908]

Been trying to teach a cousin how to use winrar and add new custom maps to Halo CE for the past 15 min... and he just barely finished doing so with 1 map... FML

[klange]

Been trying to teach a cousin how to use winrar and add new custom maps to Halo CE for the past 15 min... and he just barely finished doing so with 1 map... FML
Stop spreading the fail that is Winrar, use 7zip!

[Rosco]

My mum back in stevenage had an operation to remove a "sist" (sp?)
If she had it done a week later than that she would of gotten cancer.
My mum and dad have felt so distraught and upset from this bare dodge that it's making me upset. FML.

[Neuro Guro]

-

[Limited]

My mum back in stevenage had an operation to remove a "sist" (sp?)
If she had it done a week later than that she would of gotten cancer.
My mum and dad have felt so distraught and upset from this bare dodge that it's making me upset. FML.
UK waiting lists suck eh? Close call there. This whole 6 weeks to get it cleared up is total BS.

[Jean-Luc]

I think quite a few of you are missing the point of FML :saddowns:

[Alwin Roth]

The day when someone blamed me for "ejaculating" in the school bathroom when i didn't...

[Masterz1337]

Four weeks ago I spent half an hour explaining to my boss why a different technology would be faster, better, easier, cheaper for what he wanted me to do, and it would take me all of the afternoon to implement. He told me "That's great, do it the way I told you to anyway." I finally finished implementing his version last week. FML.

That's not even funny.

[PlasbianX]

:words:

We need to hang out sometime. You're like a 30 min drive from me or something. :saddowns:

[Kornman00]

That's not even funny.
Still a deserving "FML", FML :eyesroll:

[Siliconmaster]

I felt like ripping the necks out of the people at subway today. ... Came home, tuned in, tuned out. Now I'm writing this.

I worked at a Subway, and I wouldn't want to be on the customer side of the counter either. :ohdear: Hope your day gets more cheery.


My mum back in stevenage had an operation to remove a "sist" (sp?)
If she had it done a week later than that she would of gotten cancer.
My mum and dad have felt so distraught and upset from this bare dodge that it's making me upset. FML.

Glad your mom dodged it. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at the beginning of the summer, but she's recovering quite nicely after surgery, so that's both an FML and a yay.

[Donut]

Memorize your number. I did.
they want the physical card. but im sure theres a place i can go to get a new copy of it. thats what i had to do for my birth certificate to get into drivers ed since my mother lost my birth certificate

[Bodzilla]

ran into a girl i was best friends with in school... well before the stalker anyway.

could barely get a conversation out of her.


sped home, music blaring screaming and i'm into the bourbon.
It's the little things.

[Rook]

Last Saturday was stormy, and upon waking up the internet didn't work on the my computer that I built a month ago, come to find out the storm killed my onboard internet. I bought a 2001 linksys ethernet adapter from a local computer store (and paid 20 dollars more than what it's worth!) and had to find hacked drivers for it to work on 64bit, because linksys doesn't provide them. FML(?)

[Llama Juice]

I took my final exam for my game production class today. I got one wrong.

FML

[rossmum]

i have a cold

coupled with a large nose and sensitive skin, this is hell

fml

[Cojafoji]

entire family was killed after colliding with a truck stuffed to the limit with kittens, dolphins, and condors.

fml.

[Kornman00]

i have a cold

coupled with a large nose and sensitive skin, this is hell

fml

hmmmm

Planes:
1. Cold? Check
2. Large noses? Check.
3. Make rossmum sensitive? Check

and mate :ross:

It all makes sense now....

[Llama Juice]

Limited made cookies and won't offer to share.

FML

[sdavis117]

I was locked out of my own home and had to break in through the second story bathroom window.

Took me two hours to wait for a neighbor to get home who was willing to help me hold the ladder. Damn Sister left without leaving me a(n easy) way to get into the house.

Also my car doesn't work anymore.

FML

[Bodzilla]

i got drunk and forgot to eat last night.
FML

[Jean-Luc]

Well done sir ^^

[n00ber]

everythings fine, just chillin, till my dad gets fucking arthritus in his knees and is forced to retire from his job, with little money were forced to move to brasil, where electronics are seriously 2-3 times more expencive, there fucking obsessed with ps2, so no good games to play for teh 360, cant barely understand a word there saying since its portuguese, so im forced to learn a new language, people here want me to eat every 2 seconds, wich gets extremely annoying at times, my grandmother, who we moved into with thinks im going to die in my sleep from hunger, my fagtop 360 just fucking crashed, and my aunts comp is a fagfest with 265 mbs of ram, like lolwtf, cant go out and do anything fun or productive, becuse i live in a kinda bad area, so i dont want to get raped by some 40 year old guy on the street, so i have nothing to do, oh and btw did i mention some kid stole my copy of halo 3 before, i moved over 3000 miles a way, and thats the only game i had cuz im poorzerz, like lolwtf. FML

[Xetsuei]

i got drunk and forgot to eat last night.
FML

You deserved it.

[Jean-Luc]

Run on sentences make the world cry :saddowns:
Seriously, l2punctuation.

That said, to all of you, FML are not supposed to be VENTING SOB STORIES about what's wrong in your life. They're meant to be little tidbits of a funny/ironic/wtf/whoops situation you can think of, rather than "bawww look at me."

[n00ber]

if a friend told my that story i would lol :3

[kid908]

Damn Inferno think I'm a chick on the interwebs. FML

[Kornman00]

That said, to all of you, FML are not supposed to be VENTING SOB STORIES about what's wrong in your life. They're meant to be little tidbits of a funny/ironic/wtf/whoops situation you can think of, rather than "bawww look at me."
Well in that case I have nothing to fuck my life with.

FML :smith:


Writing a Rant :)
:ehhh: heh

[Ganon]

Managed to get stuck between a wall and two trees in wartorn FML.

[Jean-Luc]

:ehhh: heh
Oh I got a bigger one coming, assuming I have enough :rage: inside me to get it done.

Right now it's just :effort:

[Llama Juice]

I ran out of ketchup.

FML

[klange]

I must spread reputation around before giving it to Llama Juice again.

FML

[Bodzilla]

i'm in the process of uploading pictures to photobucket... but i forgot photobuckets gay and resize's.
i started 20 minutes ago and i'm not even half way.

FML

[neuro]

i haven't been paid in, and have been working for free for 4 months. FML

[English Mobster]

A bit old, but:

You've changed all your passwords now, right?
Yeah, to one she's never heard of.

[t3h m00kz]

So about three years back I moved away from a christian fundie household. Now, I love my parents and all, but they were the kind of people who who homeschools their kid because of all the evil in the world, block out pages from Science books because they conflict with the Bible, wouldn't let their play stuff like Magic the Gathering, and who doesn't let their kid watch movies like Harry Potter because witchcraft and magic is evil and against the Lord. I'm stuck, sheltered, no friends, limited internet, no social experiences. I had to gtfo. I move from Florida to Washington State.

I get here, I get a job. My dream job as far as entry level jobs go. I'm nervous as shit the entire time I work there. I hold it for a few months, then get "Laid off" because they, in their own words, were "winding down for the holidays." I'm sitting here unemployed with no source of income so I figured I'd go again for the job after a good 8 months. It's entry level, good hours, pays decently, and isn't too stressful, it should hold me off for a while. I go in for an interview. Day after, they call me back and tell me I was terminated for poor performance.

TL;DR, I was lied to, and had false hope of a job I could fall back on. Shit's fucking gay, fuck my life, etc, etc

I think it's time for college, yes?

[English Mobster]

I go to Dee's "Complement the user above you" thread because I'm feeling down, only to find out that Bod locked it in its prime.
FML.

[n00b1n8R]

I think it's time for college, yes?
You really need some kind of qualification (be it an apprenticeship or a degree) to make yourself attractive to Employers these days. Not going for one is just setting yourself up for shit later, from what I've heard.

[Heathen]

Atty shit all over my question in the podcast. Fml.

[Cojafoji]

You really need some kind of qualification (be it an apprenticeship or a degree) to make yourself attractive to Employers these days. Not going for one is just setting yourself up for shit later, from what I've heard.
qft. Though, practical experience trumps any formal degree, and always will. Except in nuclear physics or what not.

edit: perfect storm = practical experience + cert/edu.

[Llama Juice]

I'm hungry and there's no woman here to make me breakfast.

FML

[Kornman00]

I won't be touching a single line of code saturday, sunday nor monday. FML

Oh wait, but I'll be at a resort relaxing and rafting 'n shit...but its still not a 7-day cruise, so FML :downs:

[Dwood]

I won't be touching a single line of code saturday, sunday nor monday. FML

Oh wait, but I'll be at a resort relaxing and rafting 'n ...but its still not a 7-day cruise, so FML :downs:

kornman won't respond to my pm's or posts...

[Alwin Roth]

I still cant afford this 1,000 dollar Asus gaming laptop so I can run halo Pc at a good 300 fps rather than 20 fps... and other games that i want which i can't play on this laptop.

FML.

[Amit]

Not sure why you need to play Halo at more than 60 FPS.

This thread is depressing.

[kid908]

I live in the same city as red vs blue recording and I've never once visited the studio. FML

[Donut]

i think i had it backwards. see, i was taking it literally, assuming that you guys here were different than the obnoxious kids at my school that make a big deal out of stubbing their toe. i thought that the FML thread idea was to vent things that encompass your "life" and fuck it rather than "i stubbed my toe. fml"

im an angry person. fml

E: but i fucking loled at llama juice's posts. must spread rep.....

[TVTyrant]

I read Donut's post. fml

[Cojafoji]

I'm drunker than freelancers mom on a monday night bender. FML.

[/s]

<3 to freelancer for my constant stream of bs.

[NuggetWarmer]

Bod is a bad mod.

FML

[Heathen]

I have electronics for 3 hours in a row.
FML.

Oh wait no, that's awesome.

My senior year is gonna be fucking cake.

[paladin]

This is one Scooby told me earlier today...

'You [Me, Paladin] gave me a map to skin and complete, fml.'

Kinda an inside thing between us and his bitching the last month, but I rofl'd for like 10 minutes.

[Limited]

I was playing Halo 3 with Llama earlier today for about an hour on my HDTV, only after did I realise I hadnt switched it from "TV" to "HDTV" on the cable that goes into Xbox...

FML >_<

[Llama Juice]

I have six hours left to work on my project and my PC decides to be a fucker.

FML

I think it's funny when I boot up the PC and then immediately launch Maya, Photoshop, and UT3. Then for luls I launched Firefox just to kill time while the others load.... I really should upgrade to a 64 bit OS....

[Llama Juice]

My deadline got pushed back 8 hours.

FML

owai...

[neuro]

you shouldn't have needed the extra time though :3
gotta stick to your deadlines! :o

my deadline got pushed FORWARD a week >_< and i have to do the work i planned out to do in 3 weeks in 1. FML

[PlasbianX]

you shouldn't have needed the extra time though :3
gotta stick to your deadlines! :o

my deadline got pushed FORWARD a week >_< and i have to do the work i planned out to do in 3 weeks in 1. FML

Wait. If it got pushed forward a week and you had 3 weeks to do it, wouldnt it be 2 weeks? :eng101:

[Donut]

oshi^

[Kalub]

Pulled up to a red light, Honda pulls up beside me. Kid looks like this:

http://www.oregoncommentator.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/gulley_what_a_douche.jpg


He says, "Yo, that shiet turbo?"

To which I nod, and then he says, "Wow I didn't think the put Turbo's on Toyota's"

I just turn, and drive away.








FhL What a dum sum bitch.
1. Chrysler Eagle Talon TSi AWD
2. Has he not heard of a Supra? I would have thought so.

[Darqeness]

I really should be studying for trial HSC's in one week. Instead I'm here reading FML's.

FML.

[Gamerkd16]

Let's go with the cliche: the girl I've liked for 3 years now is dating someone else, both of whom go to the same college in a different state.

FML.

[ThePlague]

I ate too much hot cheetos yesterday and my hole is burnin' up. Thing is, i'm still eating them.

FML.

[Bodzilla]

met a cool chick last night that reminds me of an ex girlfriend i have

i think she's just crazy enough to interest me
FTW

Got that number ;)

[Bastinka]

Got BSoD for the first time in a century. While trying to jailbreak iPod Touch.

F M L. Fixed it though.

[Bodzilla]

you own an ipod

FYL.

[Rob Oplawar]

I just fell down the stairs while holding a glass of milk. I twisted my wrist and my ankle and bruised my ass trying to keep the glass from spilling. I ended up dumping the whole thing on my head anyway. FML.

[Siliconmaster]

I had a girlfriend for two weeks, and I knew that we were going to break up in less than a month anyway when I went back to college, but we were going to enjoy the time we had as much as possible. This morning she breaks up with me because she's too busy and doesn't want that to get in the way. :gonk: Understandable, but doesn't that sort of defeat the point? FML.

[Rob Oplawar]

Oooh, I have a good one.
I'm 21, and I've been single for the past 5 years. FML.

[Siliconmaster]

Oooh, I have a good one.
I'm 21, and I've been single for the past 5 years. FML.

*Hugs* Unless you count one or two week-long periods like this last one, I'm in the same boat. Minus two years, of course. But I feel you, man. :saddowns:

[Donut]

im an self centered asshole because i wont give my mom my set of keys to my dune buggy while my sister has a set for no reason. FML.

my dad has been mad at me because of that^ for 2 days now. FML.

i stubbed my toe on the rails for my grandfathers electric chair thing for the staircase. FML.

my sister is lying to my grandmother about an argument we had this morning. FML.

my dad is going to come home and kick my ass without giving me a chance to defend my side of the argument. FML.

my girlfriend's parents made her write a letter to them to prove that shes "reformed" after she was grounded for 2 weeks because i drove her 500 feet in my dune buggy to show her a lake behind my house..... FHL.

E: i have way too much shit to post in this thread. FML.
E2: i just heard my sister steal my line about IQs being lower than shovels. FML.
E3: my sister just got yelled at by my grandma for eating 2 hotdogs then saying she feels like throwing up. FHL.
E^2: i failed to read/comprehend the rules in the first post. FML.

[Bodzilla]

Oooh, I have a good one.
I'm 21, and I've been single for the past 5 years. FML.
Nice shot comrade!

[rossmum]

net has been down for about 4 days and now it's finally fixed i have loads of catching up to do

fml

[Ifafudafi]

Conjunctivitis, 4-day trips to redneck country, recently ruined my first good chance at a relationship in 3 years, school year starting (fucking kids), dog diharrea all over the carpet, penis seems to have shrunk a centimeter or so.

FMFingLF.

[Rook]

4-day trips to redneck country

what are you trying to say.

http://i31.tinypic.com/jzjvcm.jpg

ok made it back

[Donut]

wow.... no im not making this shit up
my dad took a shower using a shower that hasnt been used in over 15 years. now the ceiling in my grandmothers basement (where im staying) is leaking. FML. again.

[LesserOf2Evils]

I spent 1:30 driving to orientation, 10 hours there, and another 1:30 driving back after 2 hours of sleep. Then I spent 5 hours helping a friend move. Unfortunately, I drank too many energy drinks and am shaking, tired as hell, but unable to sleep. 18 most miserable hours of my life. FML.

[UnevenElefant5]

I've had this wicked cough all summer that's prevented me from doing pretty much anything. I've been sitting in a chair or lying on a bed for 90% of my summer.

[Donut]

believe it or not, nothing bad happened today for me to bitch about. FML

[rossmum]

internet has been down for several days. again. fml. and stalker crashed mid-recording for a video. fml some more. and if youtube rejects this because it's 10:33 long i might just kill myself.

[Llama Juice]

Last few days were solid 12-14 hour days at school, today I'm putting my foot down! I'm only doing 8 hours and that's it today haha.

The FML aspect is that because of all this time I've spent at school over the past week/few days.... I can't sleep right.

I got like 4-5 hours last night... not fun.

[Bodzilla]

my dicks too big and i hurt my GF

FML

[Kornman00]

my dicks too big and i hurt my GF

FML
you need to take a page from atty and grow into it, sadly

FYL

[Bodzilla]

she needs to loosen the fuck up.

give me time.

I CAN FIX HER

[annihilation]

My great grandma died a little earlier this month. My dog that I've had since I was about 2 or 3 passed away 2 weeks ago and I got stuck with a $2k vet bill. I just got laid of due to work being cut severly. I got very sick today and threw up multiple times and and I have a terrible pain in the back of my neck.

FML

[Cojafoji]

My great grandma died a little earlier this month. My dog that I've had since I was about 2 or 3 passed away 2 weeks ago and I got stuck with a $2k vet bill. I just got laid of due to work being cut severly. I got very sick today and threw up multiple times and and I have a terrible pain in the back of my neck.

FML
give me your address, i will send you a scrumptious chocolate cake.

[SnaFuBAR]

I developed an allergy to shrimp. I had a huge shrimp dinner. Almost ended up going to emergency. Shrimp is one of my favorite foods. FML

[=sw=warlord]

I developed an allergy to shrimp. I had a huge shrimp dinner. Almost ended up going to emergency. Shrimp is one of my favorite foods. FML
ouch, curse of tantalus.

[TVTyrant]

Had to pull 50 pound sleds today after squats. Then ran a mile. FML

[Mr Buckshot]

Optical mouse died on me. Tried to play FPS's with the touch pad of my laptop. Got the worst score in team deathmatch. FML.

(buying a new mouse tomorrow, so all's good).

[Corndogman]

Spent all day waiting to register for classes at a technical institute, it was worse than the DMV there, FML.

[Alwin Roth]

For Every 2 hours I am on the laptop gaming I have to cool down my laptop like this and wait for 20 minutes at most:
http://screenshots.rd.to/files/678ff31e8bf9f33f9c9bacc23f337c3d/94p3np5wc8cfobxa.JPG

FML
(please ignore books)

[n00b1n8R]

I wouldn't have noticed them till you pointed it out. :v:

[Alwin Roth]

:gonk:

[Pyong Kawaguchi]

nice books

[Xetsuei]

I don't think I've seen one FML that is something you'd actually see on the real site.

These are supposed to be ironic or have a twist of some sort that makes it even worse, not "OH BAWWWWW MY LIFE SUCKS". Fucks sake.

[Bodzilla]

so you think that having a penis that prevents you from having sex because your too good at it isn't ironic and terrible.

:smithicide:

[Jean-Luc]

These are supposed to be ironic or have a twist of some sort that makes it even worse, not "OH BAWWWWW MY LIFE SUCKS". Fucks sake.
This. It's been said at least 3 times people.

[Kornman00]

How about we actually close this thread and people can just post their actual FMLs at the site which is actually dedicated to actual FMLs?

sounds like a good idea actually...

[kid908]

How about we actually close this thread and people can just post their actual FMLs at the site which is actually dedicated to actual FMLs?

sounds like a good idea actually...

FML.com now-a-days are lame as hell. I have no good problems people have to laugh at. FML

[Atty]

Today while I was at the gym I was doing squats, I came down on my second set and heard a loud rip, stood up quickly only to find my pants had ripped in half. FML

[Donut]

i had to masturbate in a dark bathroom that was roughly 80 degrees fahrenheit at 3 am because my sister took over the basement. it took me like half an hour to finish, then when i stood up i didnt see it and slipped in it, falling backwards and hitting my head on a laundry hamper while simultaneously knocking a bar of soap into the toilet i had urinated in before i began. i had to fish the soap out and clean up the mess i made. the sound of the toilet flushing woke my dog up who proceeded to bark and wake everyone else up. FML

[Siliconmaster]

i had to masturbate in a dark bathroom that was roughly 80 degrees fahrenheit at 3 am because my sister took over the basement. it took me like half an hour to finish, then when i stood up i didnt see it and slipped in it, falling backwards and hitting my head on a laundry hamper while simultaneously knocking a bar of soap into the toilet i had urinated in before i began. i had to fish the soap out and clean up the mess i made. the sound of the toilet flushing woke my dog up who proceeded to bark and wake everyone else up. FML

I don't even.... :raise:

Also, :XD:

[NuggetWarmer]

Wow, Donut, you must've REALLY needed to masturbate.

[Timo]

I've had a cold for the past week and a half, and I just woke up with conjunctivitis. I don't think the doctor will see me though, because i'm exhibiting "swine flu like symptoms". FML.

[PopeAK49]

I fell through ice and almost died of hypothermia. :smith:

[L0d3x]

I had a few drinks too much, and climbed a kid's pirate boat that was there for show. One of my friends said I wouldn't dare to jump off of it...

Well I proved him wrong. I landed with my knee against my jaw and bit the entire right side of my tongue, it was bleeding. I also hurt my wrist pretty bad.

FML.

[anonymous1337]

timo's avatar gave me a nightmare fml

[Chainsy]

I made out with my girlfriend two weeks ago and then figured out she had mono, so I didn't do my English project due on the first day, then the day before school the doctor told me I was clean. FML. d

[TVTyrant]

I got -repped when I was 5 points away from 5 bars. I've been waiting like 3 months for that bar. FML

[Bodzilla]

our korean housemates are moving out cause they cant afford the rent anymore.

our dickhead landlords thought it would be a great idea to up the rent to 200 because people that wanted 4 bedroom houses in town couldnt get it under 300.
and they're right.
only thing is we live in a house thats 100 years old, has had about six extensions (all poorly done i mean the back sun room roof is made out of old SCHOOL DESKS WTF) very shitty bathroom, the worst kitchen i've ever seen, small rooms and theres only 3 rooms.
oh and no one wants to drive out of town to the place and therefore we cant get another room mate.
this means my cost of living will go up $50 and when your only just scraping by paycheck to paycheck.....
noodles 4 times a week..... awesome..

:smith:
FML

[Timo]

timo's avatar gave me a nightmare fml

what the hell

[paladin]

that doughnut looks pretty messed up....

[rossmum]

our korean housemates are moving out cause they cant afford the rent anymore.

our dickhead landlords thought it would be a great idea to up the rent to 200 because people that wanted 4 bedroom houses in town couldnt get it under 300.
and they're right.
only thing is we live in a house thats 100 years old, has had about six extensions (all poorly done i mean the back sun room roof is made out of old SCHOOL DESKS WTF) very shitty bathroom, the worst kitchen i've ever seen, small rooms and theres only 3 rooms.
oh and no one wants to drive out of town to the place and therefore we cant get another room mate.
this means my cost of living will go up $50 and when your only just scraping by paycheck to paycheck.....
noodles 4 times a week..... awesome..

:smith:
FML
200 a week? Holy fuck, I had a place no more than 500m from Newcastle Uni and while it wasn't the greatest, it was a bit better than that. $120 a week, 125 for the room with its own ensuite.

fyl

[Bodzilla]

200 for the house bro not the room.

was 120 at the start of the year.

nearly doubles in less then 6 months.
in my area it's actually CHEAPER to pay off a loan and buy your own house then to rent
:wtc:

[rossmum]

Oh, 200 for the lot of you? Quit whining. :downs:

[Bodzilla]

you sydney and melbourne fucks need to stop coming up here buying up land and increasing the price of everything.

Mate our sun room roof is made up out of old desks.
how bout u s my d

[Timo]

It's going to be $280AUD minimum just to rent a 4 bedroom house here where I live. It's not that bad.

[n00b1n8R]

Mate our sun room roof is made up out of old desks.
I really want to see pics of this.

[Donut]

yeah i do too. if theyre the same kind of desks im thinking of, then this must be one hell of a porch

[Bodzilla]

it has "property of the australian electorial office" written all over it.

Jo-hov tight ass's
they're as bad as jewbz i swear.

[n00b1n8R]

it has "property of the australian electorial office" written all over it.

Jo-hov tight ass's
they're as bad as jewbz i swear.
No but seriously, I want to see this because I'm having a hard time picturing a roof made out of wooden desks.

[paladin]

I just looked at a 3bed 1.5bath house. $1700 a month, sooo $566.66 a month for me?

I offered to buy lunch for my crew at work today because I owed my mate. They insisted on buying the most expensive dish. Lunch cost $63. And it was shitty. FML

[kid908]

Dude, A 4 bed room apartment here cost around 900USD minimum. 1083 Aussie $ a month. WTF are you guys complaining about. also what's your minimum wage in Aussie?

[ThePlague]

today we had to stand up in media productions and talk about the person we learned about (he paired us up, and I got this cute chick that I might like) and I pretty much froze in front of the class. It was like my neck became stiff. She was looking at me the whole time, and I now think she thinks i'm weird.

FML

[Mr Buckshot]

I lost one of the styluses for my old fat DS long ago. Today I just lost my only other stylus on campus. The stores around here don't sell styluses for the fat DS, only for the Lite and DSi. So now I have no stylus, just the useless thumb-stylus-on-wrist-strap thing. Also my roommate likes to sleep early. FML.

[Cojafoji]

Got my hand caught in the drill press because my boss was drunk at work again and screaming about his daughter losing his virginity. now he's firing me for being crippled and having sex with his daughter (i didn't). on top of that, fluffy, my cat, was run over by a bus.

FML.

[OmegaDragon]

Even though I have a 100mbps connection, this connection is blocking UDP, which means i can't play games, use my xbox, voice chat with friends, or send/recieve files through xfire.

FML.

[Jean-Luc]

Got my hand caught in the drill press because my boss was drunk at work again and screaming about his daughter losing his virginity. now he's firing me for being crippled and having sex with his daughter (i didn't). on top of that, fluffy, my cat, was run over by a bus.

FML.

While I'm extremely sorry to hear what happened...

screaming about his daughter losing his virginity.What? :ohdear:

Seriously though, that whole situation sucks to the nth degree. I hope your hand gets better soon and that you can give your boss a swift jab to the face for being a douche. As for your cat? ):

[Siliconmaster]

While I'm extremely sorry to hear what happened...
What? :ohdear:

Seriously though, that whole situation sucks to the nth degree. I hope your hand gets better soon and that you can give your boss a swift jab to the face for being a douche. As for your cat? ):

Agreed. Your post made me sad. D:

[Cojafoji]

i decided to kill my boss. apparently i went about it the wrong way, and was caught by the police strapping a stick of home made plastic explosive to the shops propane tanks. i'm now being charged with attempted arson.

FML.

[Donut]

either we are being trolled or you are one dedicated mother fucker.

respect.

[SnaFuBAR]

Coja is a terrorist xD

[TVTyrant]

i decided to kill my boss. apparently i went about it the wrong way, and was caught by the police strapping a stick of home made plastic explosive to the shops propane tanks. i'm now being charged with attempted arson.

FML.
Hey, only one FML a day! FML.

[rossmum]

I went to bed early the night before my first aid course. I had three nightmares: one about Cryostasis ice dudes coming after me and my F88 doing nothing to them, one about some sort of Combine duders fucking with people I care about, and then I thought I woke up... only to find some fuckheads had stripped the house bare and taken my PC. I flipped the fuck out only to realise I was still half-asleep and the house was fine. FML.

[n00b1n8R]

So basically, get over your plane fetish, stop playing shitty RP and loose your computer addiction?

[rossmum]

look at me i'm a retard
Cryostasis is nothing to do with aircraft, the F88 is our service rifle, I haven't even played Gmod online for a year or so, and furthermore, you're a retard. I value my personal possessions, especially the one which contains about six or seven years' worth of my work.

:allears:

[n00b1n8R]

Not that any of it was completed but yeah, your other points stand. :downs:

[Bodzilla]

Got my hand caught in the drill press because my boss was drunk at work again and screaming about his daughter losing his virginity. now he's firing me for being crippled and having sex with his daughter (i didn't). on top of that, fluffy, my cat, was run over by a bus.

FML.
woah.

ya hand gunna be alright man i know exactly how dangerous those machines can be.. can they fix it or is your hand fucked?

E:bleh. fucking weak dude there are alot of crippled, sick and fucked up people in my industry as it is, dont joke about it.
in my tafe class 2 guys have already touched the panel saw and the tafe just the town over has a guy who's learning to write with his left hand at 19 because he put his right hand into a drop saw ruining his hand for his life.
not cool.

also ross i had a dream with you in it the other night.
we where in this massive lake that had an evil cold metal constructed parliment style house (more like a cold calculating machine, seriously the place looked FUCKED up) feeding into this massive lake was a waterfall not unlike the horse shoe falls at niagra and due to a this area being the most inhospitable cold darkest hell hole on the earth the waterfall was freezing becoming more glacier like as it build, only to have a fracture fissure split the waterfall like a fucking mountain breaking apart before avalanching into the lake with incredible speed in 1 solid peice of frozen ice.
This caused a tsunami the likes of which the world has never seen. Now we're in the lake and we start to make a break for the coast only to realize we wouldnt make it and paddling back to the middle of the lake on our small boogie boards to try to weather out the tsunami.
This thing just fucking kept rearing up just so incredibly intimidating it just swelled in size exponentially as it sped across the lake at us, took a full minute to reach the top of the wave most terrifying feeling ever, like those roller coaster rides or roads that dip up and down sharply but just never ending.
we survived and as we looked to our left we saw the entire twisted corrupt evil metal structure demolised and swept aside in a freakish tearing, the sound you just would not believe the sound, tearing twisting bending and breaking solid peices of metal meters thick striking each other before the structure gave way.
there was nothing left, and thats when the wave receeded back at us from the shoreline bringing everything with it.
i wake up.

TL : DR
i think i subconsciously love rossmum

[Dotkito92]

look at me i'm perfect.

But i also have no understanding of the industry i'm ripping on!
go back to pushing paper or get a fucking clue.
you have absolutely no idea how fast these things happen. these things your pointing at are about as likely to happen as missing a spelling mistake during a word check, it's that quick, it's that easy to do.
only thing is you can loose your life over it.

you dont know what your talking about so shut the fuck up you arrogant piece of shit.

Oh look, Mr. Moderator is flaming people. Tsk tsk.

Anyway, I am trying to increase my daily pushup count in preparation for military. But I've only got to 35. FML.

[Mr Buckshot]

I have little to no sympathy for that person. If he put his hand into that area he was: under-trained, careless, or stupid.

I was cutting an apple with a sharp knife once, in the next room my dad accidentally dropped something heavy on the floor. Made a loud bang as it landed, I got startled, and slashed my own hand in the process (not deep thank god). That means I'm under-trained with handling sharp knives.

Anyways:

Only the first week of classes, and I already lost one of my ballpoint pens. It was a fresh one too. FML.

[SnaFuBAR]

Last two weeks have been hell. Food allergy, food poisoning twice, then my brother gets me sick. Lots of blood in my snot, and the tissue I have kicks up lots of dust, making me sneeze and need to blow my nose more. FML

[cheezdue]

My last period class for school is full of High School freshmen. FML

[Donut]

My last period class for school is full of High School freshmen. FML
the freshmen at my school for the past two years look like they just graduated 5th grade. i think maybe 1/7th of them have hit puberty. its ridiculous.

gym class is a fucking bomb.

[ultama121]

All my new biology teacher said at high school orientation today was that she wouldn't explain the class at all 'till the first day of school because she didn't want to scare us. She didn't even introduce herself and was hardly friendly. FML.


[/derr]
You're just mad because you're not the only one with three red bars. :realsmug:


My last period class for school is full of High School freshmen. FML
I'm a freshmen. :saddowns:

[p0lar_bear]

So my English 101 class I'm starting this semester happens on a nearby military base, and I need to fill out some paperwork to get access, since I'm a civilian. I've got everything in order, except for my birth certificate which seems to have dropped off the face of the Earth. I've looked everywhere for the freaking thing, managed to find a fuckton of old game CDs, a flash drive that I'm pretty sure has important stuff on it, my decesed father's social security card, all of the postage stamps I bought in the past year (keep buying them 'cause I could never find them), my Goldeneye 64 cartridge, and a dollar (woo) in my search, but my objective is nowhere to be found.

FML. Never mind I found it woooooo.

[Horns]

I go to a school with only around 180 kids. There are about 35 freshmen and about 15 of them drive brand new 2009 cars. I drive a 97 Volvo wagon. fml

[flibitijibibo]

I'm taking discrete mathematics this semester, which is a math course for computer science majors (considering a double major. Either way, I'm not rotting in college algebra). While it's technically a math course, it is expected that you will learn to read/write logical math and be able to relate it to computer science, so really, the only thing making it math is the use of sets (arrays).

The professor comes in and discusses the syllabus, which is expected for the first day of class. She has the syllabus on her website, and it states next to the link that it's 1.9MB. She points to the link and says that it's "1.9 millibits." In full seriousness. In front of about 100 comp sci majors. And she's teaching us for at least 2 semesters (discrete 1 and 2).

I took AP music theory in high school (and by that, I mean I enrolled in a course that didn't exist, and I read the FSU textbook and taught myself pretty much up to what I thought was theory 2). However, despite getting a perfect score on the theory placement exam in a fraction of the allotted time, I was asked to take theory 1, "just in case." I looked through the assignment list, and it appears we will only get up to chapter 11 in the textbook. I ended my class at chapter 29. Why is this bad? The class is at 8AM, and attendance is tracked.

FML

[Siliconmaster]

FML

:gonk: I pity you to the bottom of my soul.

[Bodzilla]

So yesterday it was hot.
really hot, today was bad but yesterday was fucked.

lets put it this way, yesterday was 38 degrees Celsius, thats 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit (if your into gay units of measurement like that) and we havnt even reached spring yet.
it's gunna be a long summer.

I'd say FML, but this means MORE BEACH TIME, and an added benefit it makes rossmum suffer.
oh yes.
for the win

[teh lag]

13 deleted posts later, what the hell you guys

this is already a pretty useless +1 thread, don't ruin it by starting shit in here.

also the "1 post per day rule," please stick to it?

[Dotkito92]

My boot camp is messed up and I have to reinstall windows.

FML

[flibitijibibo]

Day 2 of my college endeavor! Man, 2/2 on this shit.

Just had my audition. I had prepared my audition parts for months, and I was ready to play it in the right acoustics for the 2 judges that I had known for years. That is, if they had kept the same room they told us it would be.

They not only move the audition room to a totally and excessively soundproofed room (practically a booth), but because the other groups did their auditions so quickly, they grouped the audition panel to the ENTIRE BRASS STAFF. Pretty much everything bad that could have happened in terms of the environment, did.

I didn't make it through 4 lines of my 2 page audition before being asked to leave. Even my bank o' comfort punchlines failed to work.

FMLFMLFMLFMLFML

[Horns]

Last year I got my brand new laptop about 3 weeks before school started. I bought one of the best sleeves they make, and a brand new laptop bag. I cleaned the whole laptop spick and span atleast once a week. I carried it within the deadly clutches of my hands. But when a jealous jackass decides to ram you so hard in the hallway that it goes flying into the air and lands right in the corner there isn't much you can do to save it. The kid got his ass kicked and the principal says he can't do anything about it. Now I have 3 broken pieces on what was only a 1 month old laptop.

Less then a week ago I bought my brand new blackberry. I keep it in the case 90% of the time and I ordered a full invisible sheild 3 days ago and it arrived today. I go to take my bb out of the case to put the shield on and I notice there is a huge fucking scratch along the whole length of the screen. FUCK my life.

[rossmum]

Your current Photobucket account is at 97% of its 500 MB capacity. We would like to encourage you to upgrade to a Pro acount.
welp, fourth photobucket account here i come

oh and fml

[p0lar_bear]

Maybe if you'd stop stashing plane porn you'd only have two accounts. :realsmug:

[ThePlague]

This isn't exactly an FML, but:
Yesterday I asked a girl I like to hang out today, and she didn't say no or yes, just made up some bullshit excuse for not to do it like usual. So today I see that she's going to peter piper pizza with her friends, and didn't say anything about it yesterday. So I got pissed and we had a text fight (I of course won, because of my awesome arguing skills. donut knows dis) and in the end she said "don't talk to me or look near my direction ever again. your a possessive creep." among other fun stuff.

So yeah, that's how I get rid of feelings for gurls. I piss them off and make them call me possessive creeps, and move on with my life. With no heartache.

[Dotkito92]

The dog next door shitted in my garden and I have to clean it up.

FML

[n00b1n8R]

Maybe if you'd stop stashing plane porn you'd only have two accounts. :realsmug:
Had my PB since 06, only 29% full (24% before i uploaded a ton of new sigs i'm yet to put on rotation).

Also, madly in love with girlfriend, we're doing fucking great and I probably have to move 4 hours away for uni next year, fml.

[flibitijibibo]

Well, I think I've had just about 100% of the spirit ripped from me here at school. I guess I can hate everything down here, too.

Remember that discrete math class? Yeah, turns out I "don't have the prerequisites." Basically, they think I didn't take precalculus (I took calc 1 in HS). When do they tell me this? After they dropped me, the day before schedules are locked. Oh, yeah, that's the perfect time to not be able to get into the right math class, making you a part time student and booting you from housing.

Eventually, I found a math course. It was the only one left. College, fucking, algebra. Attendance is required for this class, too. Perfect!

FML

[Cojafoji]

The fuel pump is going in my ghetto Volvo, as well as the electrical system in the steering column. I have to replace both in under a month, with money that I don't have if I want the car to stay inspected. Yay junkyard here I come! Nothing like crawling around in burnt up, bloody wrecks looking for spare parts! I've also literally run out of things to do at work, so now my job is to look busy, while really wasting time. This wouldn't be so bad if there weren't so much damn guilt for having to do it, but I need a paycheck, and I guess they're now paying me for the convenience of being there in case something goes wrong. Still owe the local Community College 1500 dollars that I can't get a loan or federal funding to pay off, and I've come up with dick all for a second job in my town. No one is hiring.

Eh, could be worse, so sort of fml.

[BobtheGreatII]

(I of course won, because of my awesome arguing skills. donut knows dis) and in the end she said "don't talk to me or look near my direction ever again. your a possessive creep." among other fun stuff.


I'm not too sure that's winning. :realsmug:

[p0lar_bear]

Well, I think I've had just about 100% of the spirit ripped from me here at school. I guess I can hate everything down here, too.

Remember that discrete math class? Yeah, turns out I "don't have the prerequisites." Basically, they think I didn't take precalculus (I took calc 1 in HS). When do they tell me this? After they dropped me, the day before schedules are locked. Oh, yeah, that's the perfect time to not be able to get into the right math class, making you a part time student and booting you from housing.

Eventually, I found a math course. It was the only one left. College, fucking, algebra. Attendance is required for this class, too. Perfect!

FML

You get on the phone and in those offices and raise some hell. If your placements tests dropped you in Calc, or if your high school transcript shows you took it, there is no reason you should be taking algebra.

[Invader Veex]

My first girlfriend in two years lives three hours away and I can't get my license for another 4 months.

FML

[Roostervier]

i didn't think you had to get a license to visit your right hand :mech2:

[Bodzilla]

also n00b, you cant drive home to poon your GF cause your a fat idiot that still hasnt gotten round to getting a car license!

FYL

[paladin]

My cousin and I have the same birthday. When we turned 16, his parents bought him a car. I got a piece of paper, with a signature. It wasnt a check. FML.

[PlasbianX]

Me and my buddy were in his dorm with 8 other girls chatting it up. Then he decided to inform them that he listens to Linkin Park when he's on the toilet because it helps him shit better. Then they all left T_T

FML

[Donut]

my grandfather who i was very close to passed away yesterday when he fell down and hit his head
seriously, FML with a hickory stick

[Siliconmaster]

my grandfather who i was very close to passed away yesterday when he fell down and hit his head
seriously, FML with a hickory stick

: ( *Hug*

[n00b1n8R]

also n00b, you cant drive home to poon your GF cause your a fat idiot that still hasnt gotten round to getting a car license!

FYL
I got my L's last week :saddowns:

Still going to be about a year before I can get my P's though -_-
you were right, i was wrong, etc :smith:

[OmegaDragon]

After about 10 minutes of peaceful sleeping after working hard, the 4 irresponsible roomates out of 6 come in drunk with 3 other people who are also drunk into the suite and proceed to talk aloud with no sence while banging doors. They also just started playing some crappy southern rap shit and have began to sing. Its 3 am and i need to wake up at around 6 for lab... FML

[Con]

brought my comp to a lan party
PSU is dead
fml
(postin on a friends laptop)

[Cojafoji]

tripped over a vaccum attachment in the hall, just broke my toe. taking lots of aspirin+ibuprofen and waiting until morning to see what the toe looks like. it cracks when i move it.
ow fml.

i know one per day, but ow. srs ow.

[rossmum]

After about 10 minutes of peaceful sleeping after working hard, the 4 irresponsible roomates out of 6 come in drunk with 3 other people who are also drunk into the suite and proceed to talk aloud with no sence while banging doors. They also just started playing some crappy southern rap shit and have began to sing. Its 3 am and i need to wake up at around 6 for lab... FML
I could literally sleep through a full-scale war and wake up none the wiser, it owns


brought my comp to a lan party
PSU is dead
fml
(postin on a friends laptop)
This is why you have LANs near parts stores http://sa.tweek.us/emots/images/emot-science.gif

[Siliconmaster]

http://sa.tweek.us/emots/images/emot-science.gif

Someone make that an emote. Please.

[Jean-Luc]

My parents are getting divorced so my mother has moved out of the house, and is now living with my gay uncle. They were having issues on my uncle's old computer, so I went over there tonight, got rid of some viruses, installed a printer, and decided to get rid of the desktop image of Jason Statham. I saved a new desktop into "My Pictures," and went to apply it.

So that's where he keeps his porn.

FML :gonk:

[Dwood]

Dude.... the Divorce part is worse than the porn... >.>

[ThePlague]

hawt

[Jean-Luc]

Dude.... the Divorce part is worse than the porn... >.>
Yeah but divorce isn't funny so vOv

[paladin]

Welcome to being a statistic.

[Donut]

an envelope went missing with my birth certificate, certificate of completing 33 hours of drivers ed, and other important legal shit in it, i still cant get my fucking social security card, and there is not a chance in hell of me getting my drivers license now.

oh and i have a fucking canker sore on my tongue too

[Bodzilla]

~ Zizlah teh sex god ~ says:
fuck i'm pissed off hey
Terrence says:
?
~ Zizlah teh sex god ~ says:
fucking idiot housemate
borrowed my credit card for some shit on the net
didnt put it back in my wallet
i just went to pay for petrol
and got stuck at the station for 40 minutes
tryign to sort shit out
and do transactions over the phone
with my mum
cause my fucking idiotic cunt of a housemate didnt put it back
have you any idea how embarrassing it is that you cant scrape $10 together for petrol money due to someone else's incompetence?
I'm bout ready to smack a bitch!



FML

[rossmum]

I had something similar happen while I was doing my weekly shopping, except it was due to my own incompetence :gonk:

Good thing I got a lift off my housemate, and he was willing to lend me $50...

[UnevenElefant5]

May not be an fml to you guys, I still think it sucks:


[16:44:31] << FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
[16:44:39] << the last problem
[16:44:40] << D:
[16:44:55] << theres 4 different equations
[16:44:59] << we have to work them out
[16:45:06] << to see which is right
[16:45:10] << each equation
[16:45:14] << is 4 problems in one
[16:45:15] << :S
[16:45:18] << 16 problems
[16:45:27] << in one

The problems are graphing problems. There's 4 points on a graph. The question asks which order/combination of the points yields a number closest to the given number. You have to do all 4 equations to find out. Each equation is 4 problems in one.

School= :smithicide:

[Terry]

There's always a way to do it quicker.

[UnevenElefant5]

Well, I didn't find it because I typed up the problem for a friend and he used his super calculator to find the answer :P

[Cojafoji]

picked up a folded shirt off of my chair to see if it was clean, totally oblivious to the fact that i had spilled foot powder on it earlier (same color as the shirt). took a big sniff and immediately started coughing and hacking. gold bonds medicated foot power is now in my nose, sinuses, and lungs. it hurts, gives a cooling sensation and burns all at the same time. now my lungs are closing up and if i can't find a friend with albuterol sulfate with a non alcohol based propellant (shuts lungs down), i'm up shit creek. i'm waiting for a call back from a friend who is sure he has some, but you never know. can't go to the hospital, because the one that's near my town charges 500 to walk in the door, and i can't get any at the pharmacy because it's like 150 dollars.

i think this officially classifies as a fml.

edit* just got a good call. i r saved.

[flibitijibibo]

Holy shit, you came to Modacity during that?

Would have been an interesting documentation of last words... >.>

[Neuro Guro]

-

[Cojafoji]

Holy shit, you came to Modacity during that?

Would have been an interesting documentation of last words... >.>
After it happened, I could feel my lungs tightening, first thing I did was sit down and whip out my phone. After that, I tried to take my mind off things. Plus, typing doesn't use up that much oxygen...

[annihilation]

I just got laid off but I found a minimum wage job ($8 an hour, part time)
My car is broken (battery is completely dead)
My birthday is today and I can't do shit because I have no car or money.
I cut the shit out of my leg with a weed wacker.
My eye lid is swollen because I have terrible allergies.
I stapled part of my finger and it was very painfull.

FML

[ICEE]

a man just masturbated in the bathroom at my work. He left a significant mess. My boss made me clean it up


I wasnt even on shift :C

FML

[FRain]

Today, I got into a fight with my mom and she gave me the usual respect and responsibility hour and a half long lecture. Three hours later while at the store she lost her credit card. FML

[Aerowyn]

Patrick Swayze just died.

FML.

[p0lar_bear]

a man just masturbated in the bathroom at my work. He left a significant mess. My boss made me clean it up


I wasnt even on shift :C

FML

You should have told him to fuck off and do it himself. You do know you're not required to listen to your bosses at all when you're off the clock?

[Cojafoji]

a man just masturbated in the bathroom at my work. He left a significant mess. My boss made me clean it up


I wasnt even on shift :C

FML
next time that happens, take a dump in the middle of your place of employment. laugh, piss on his pants, and then quit.

for bonus points: list him as a reference when you apply for a new job.

[Jean-Luc]

http://www.speedtest.net/result/566139649.png

It's supposed to be 15mbps. FML

:smith:

[Siliconmaster]

=15 Mbps [Megabit-per-second]
=15000 Kbps [Kilobit-per-second]
=1.875 MB/sec [Megabyte-per-second]
=1875 KB/sec [Kilobyte-per-second]

Unless I'm missing a conversion somewhere, I believe that is 15mbps.

Oh wow. I was looking at the upload speed. What the hell is wrong with your internet connection? o_0

[Pyong Kawaguchi]

LOL jean

[FRain]

My ISP is menstrual like that. At best get 1.5mb/s. That's about 5% of the time. 85% of the time I have about 500kb/s. The extra 10% it's about 15 kb/s (no im not shitting you it does get that low)

[Needles]

My parents are paying like $40-50 a month and that speed test gets like 5mbps, should I be getting more than that from At&t :raise:

[AAA]

My parents are paying like $40-50 a month and that speed test gets like 5mbps, should I be getting more than that from At&t :raise:

Just for fun. I thought you'd like to know. Inform yourself. :)

http://www.att.com/u-verse/explore/internet-landing.jsp

Extra info (Click the "Learn More" above the "Check Availability" button.)
http://www.att.com/gen/general?pid=6431

E: Pardon how the second link doesn't hold more information on the plans over the pricing of $50. Couldn't find info.

[ICEE]

You should have told him to fuck off and do it himself. You do know you're not required to listen to your bosses at all when you're off the clock?

My boss is a fear monger. I have to watch my ass no matter what im doing if i want to keep my job. Besides, it was either me or the womenfolk... and I didn't really want to make her do that.


next time that happens, take a dump in the middle of your place of employment. laugh, piss on his pants, and then quit.

for bonus points: list him as a reference when you apply for a new job.

Habblablablablaaaaaaa

[UnevenElefant5]

K, here goes:
This girl I met at a party wont reply to my texts.
This other girl "only likes me as a friend"
Yet another girl is not interested in me but is instead interested in some junior.
I found this all out today.
I got rejected 3 times on 3 seperate occasions by 3 seperate girls in 3 hours D:

[=sw=warlord]

K, here goes:
This girl I met at a party wont reply to my texts.
This other girl "only likes me as a friend"
Yet another girl is not interested in me but is instead interested in some junior.
I found this all out today.
I got rejected 3 times on 3 seperate occasions in 3 hours D:
She probably thinks your a stalker if you asked her out 3 times in 3 hours.

[UnevenElefant5]

She probably thinks your a stalker if you asked her out 3 times in 3 hours.
No, 3 seperate girls.

[annihilation]

K, here goes:
This girl I met at a party wont reply to my texts.
This other girl "only likes me as a friend"
Yet another girl is not interested in me but is instead interested in some junior.
I found this all out today.
I got rejected 3 times on 3 seperate occasions by 3 seperate girls in 3 hours D:

I would go out with you if you asked..........

anyways

I just got a big horrible splinter in my hand and I could barley move it and I couldn't get it out.

fake e: I had to cut the skin on top of it open with a knife to get it out.

I could have gone to the doctor for that but I wanted to do it the stupid and manly way.

[Bodzilla]

i just had sex and now my gf is making pancakes and delivering them to me while i'm browsing the frums.

my life is the best life

[ultama121]

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER HOW AWESOME L4D2 IS GOING TO BE

[Pyong Kawaguchi]

post vids nao

[sdavis117]

I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER HOW AWESOME L4D2 IS GOING TO BE
http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/6/6b/Mario_peach.gif

[STLRamsFan]

Not an FML but an MLIA (my life is average):

Quoted from my facebook:

"Heard the phone ring during a commercial, thought I was at work and tried to pick it up. Ended up falling out of my chair before I realized it was just the phone in the commercial... MLIA"

[Horns]

Tomorrow is monday, and I have school. FML

[Pyong Kawaguchi]

one my friend said to me a while back
"This year the only person who touched my penis was my doctor. FML"

[Moses]

I guess the biggest FML I've experienced I'm still in the middle of and is actually a string of them leading to my current fucked status.

After graduation all my friends that graduated with me (or earlier) started pursuing their own goals. Nice right? Well it would be if I could visit them but since my family has piling debt we can't afford a car for me to use nor car insurance. The one job I was actually able to land, despite tons of applications(which I am still sending), I gave my parents ALL the money I earned to help pay bills(my own decision) instead of saving it up for something like a car. I was let go after 3 months because the supervisor was one of those people who doesn't know what the fuck she's doing.

After that I started taking online college at Art Institute for game art and design. The online classroom doesn't exactly have a really interactive environment (there's a bulletin board for the assignments and for talking to students, basically a dumbed down forum). After I was enrolled I was notified I'd need to have full time status to be on my fathers health insurance. I was specifically told by the school rep that the school's part time counts for more credit hours than a regular school. Turns out I was lied to and I couldn't attain enough financial aid to receive full time status so now I have no health insurance now.

Now, the only things I do every day involve taking care of my brothers, cooking, cleaning, doing online homework, browsing the internet most of the time, watching anime, reading manga, and working on my models and textures when I don't feel depressed. I know I'm gonna get called an emo for this but seriously, it really gets to you after a year or so when you suddenly lose all physical contact with the friends you've come to know. Feels like you're alone :smith:. Still F'ing my L

[neuro]

Now, the only things I do every day involve taking care of my brothers, cooking, cleaning, doing online homework, browsing the internet most of the time, watching anime, reading manga, and working on my models and textures when I don't feel depressed. I know I'm gonna get called an emo for this but seriously, it really gets to you after a year or so when you suddenly lose all physical contact with the friends you've come to know. Feels like you're alone :smith:. Still F'ing my L

considering you're working on getting into games, what you should do is practice practice practice practice

and practice some more.

honestly.

i managed to land a fulltime job at a big game studio when i was 19, but only because the quality of my work was actually on a level that could be found in high quality games.

i got there by practicing and nothing more, i'm 100% self taught.

before i got to the level of being good enough to be hired as a full time artist, i was breathing eating and drinking 3d art.
hell, whenever i went outisde, and looked at something, my brain immediately started dissecting everythign i saw into how i could best build whatever i was looking at, looking at the surface composition, what makes concrete look like concrete, and what makes wood look like wood.

hoestly though, i was in a similar position as you are, and i drowned myself into game art, which led to my current carreer.
your only obstacle is you.

[rossmum]

I was just playing ArmA 2 for about 4 hours, working my way up the ranks (co-op, Evo Blue) with the hopes of getting wings. Once I finally got high enough to fly the Su-25 I was absolutely destroying shit like you wouldn't believe; for some two hours I did all the hard work for the team while the infantry just moved in after I'd levelled the target and mopped up any stragglers. Finally, I got the A-10. So much shit was exploding that it was just unreal, must've looked incredible from the ground.

About five minutes into my A-10 spree, my fucking net dropped, meaning I've probably lost my rank.

F
M
L