OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE

[Chainsy]

I was in my pills cabinet trying to find some Tylenol for my headache when I spotted what I believed to be a tylenol pill, was blue like the generic pain killer. What I had done though was swallow a laxative. The way I knew this was as I shuffled through I found the bottle for the laxatives and saw the pills in them. Now you may think " why the fuck were you popping random pills". My pills cabinet literally has pain killers and allergy meds, one of my sisters had put that in there by mistake and I was not aware. Anyways I have an empty colon and I ate this laxative and that was at 6..... well it's been 3 hours and the bowel movement is supposed to come in 12 but I already feel like I have to shit....WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME. Generally I react well to laxatives, but I have never taken one on an empty stomach.
So what this thread's purpose is to tell me what to expect, and if you have them post stories about your crappy bathroom experiences.

[DEElekgolo]

Aids.

But seriously, I've bleed from my nose and mouth constantly once. To the point that I would wake up to find blood over my pillows and blankets. So one morning i caught it in the act at around 3 am. I couldn't breath so I ran into the bathroom and tried to shove a toothbrush down my throat so that I could vomit what ever was there out. After a few attempts, I ended up vomiting out a 2 week old bone that has been scraping the side of my throat.

[Reaper Man]

"Boom"

[Moses]

[22:09] Chainsy: but i wasnt direaha
[22:09] Chainsy: fffffffff
[22:09] Chainsy: this gunna be annoying
[22:09] Moses: it's not like u drank potassium cyanide
[22:09] Chainsy: but when i have stuff to do
[22:09] Chainsy: its going to be incovinet
[22:09] Chainsy: like gaming
[22:09] Chainsy: :0
[22:09] Moses: well then get a bucket
[22:10] Moses: and use it as a chair
[22:10] Moses: lol
[22:10] Chainsy: fuuu

[DEElekgolo]

I brushed my teeth with shaving cream once.

[Cojafoji]

Start chugging water, or gatorade. Now.

[Chainsy]

Have been.

OH GOD ITS LIKE ONE OF THOSE FACE HUGGER THINGS CONFUSE DMY ASS FOR MY FACE AND LAID EGGS AND NOW THEYRE TRYING TO BUST OUT MY ANUSSSSS.

[Spartan094]

Gatorade I would probably say drink more of.

[Cojafoji]

Good boy. Don't take any antidiarrheals by the way.

[flibitijibibo]

What Coja said. You're going to be dehydrated as fuck if you took one on an empty stomach. Ninja'd again.

Also, you spelled peelz wrong.

[Chainsy]

Yea I have been chuggiing water and pissing every 5 minutes so I think I am good on the hydration. :downs:

edit- how long do yall think the runs will last when they hit? I already feel them building their army up in my anus, I feel like im sitting in a warm pool, and I checked my ass and its dry as a desert.

[Aerowyn]

Yea I have been chuggiing water and pissing every 5 minutes so I think I am good on the hydration. :downs:


Water is not going to be an adequate source of hydration, because it's not going to replenish any of the nutrients your body is going to be losing once those laxatives kick in. If you've got gatorade around or any other electrolyte-filled drinks, go for those.



I already feel them building their army up in my anus, I feel like im sitting in a warm pool, and I checked my ass and its dry as a desert.

I'm not trying to be mean, but I really can't help but laugh at the predicament you just put yourself in. XD

[Chainsy]

I finished off my last electrolyte filled rockstar right after i ate the laxative. :saddowns:

[Maniac]

Should have ate a block of cheese right after.

[Chainsy]

I ate a cheesey sausage pizza right after. :downs:

[Maniac]

That may help.

[Chainsy]

Well I talked to my sisters, they dislike giant high pressure streams of shit shooting out of them, so they bought this kind which is apparently slow moving, low dosage, and gentle. So I think I will be fine. Also the warmness in my ass is keeping me cozy. :iamafag:

[Timo]

:mech: @ this thread

[Bloodraver]

Well I talked to my sisters, they dislike giant high pressure streams of shit shooting out of them, so they bought this kind which is apparently slow moving, low dosage, and gentle. So I think I will be fine. Also the warmness in my ass is keeping me cozy. :iamafag:

LOL, so i guess its a double edged sword

[English Mobster]

Also the warmness in my ass is keeping me cozy. :iamafag:
THERE IS NO :gonk: BIG ENOUGH.

[t3h m00kz]

You made a crappy mistake with some pretty shitty consequences.

(Mango came up with that one)

[teh lag]

What'll happen? You're probably just going to have a rough day/night with maybe some upleasant trips to the toilet. Hilarious, no?

[InnerGoat]

let there be blood,

[Chainsy]

So uhm, yea... I took that lax at6 pm last night. Other then some odd rumbles in my stomach and some gas...no bowel movement, and its 11 am now.... I literally got tired of waiting and jumped on the toilet and pushed just to see what would happen....nothing would come out.
Like, you know you can feel the presence of a large shit hiding behind your ass hole and you know it's going to be a painful one? I didn't feel that, like I literally felt as if I had just taken a large shit and there was nothing left to push out. So now I am sitting on my bed wondering what the fuck is going on, did it vaporize in my ass and is waiting for me to eat something? Or is it truly gone? :smith:

[t3h m00kz]

It's just waiting in a corner to assASSinate you.

[annihilation]

This thread

is shit.

:caruso:

[Chainsy]

So yea, little update... I went to the bathroom and sat down and finally felt something there. Well expecting for a cascade of water to come out, I give an all mighty heave fucking ho and push.

It was one of the most excruciating experiences of my life.

first off, there was some things I was not aware of:

1. It was NOT a liquid
2. It was hard and spiky
3. it was the size of a fucking football

So as I slam down without any foresight it ejects halfway out of my ass. Let me describe the pain for you. Imagine you are giving birth through your ass hole and the baby stops coming out halfway through. Imagine a car that has been going 70 mph down the freeway for 6 hours stopped and removed its muffler and someone shoved that halfway up your ass. That is how I fucking felt. I litterally screamed and ripped down my fucking shower curtain as this piece shit from hell attacked my sphincter. While in this agony I had to straight myself up, put my knees to my chest and had to push screaming as this thing slowly dislodged itself and slid out. Then it gets worse. I am seriously expecting blood. I think I tore something in all honesty and jump up without the foresight to think "hey I took a laxative, this medieval flail of a shit could of easily been a cork on the liquid" Well there was no blood, or liquid of any kind when I looked, but there was about to be. Instantly I feel a rumbling sensation and I slam my ass down just as the liquid erupted from my ass.
again, 2 things I did not know:
1. the liquid was extremely hot
2. The liquid had fucking spiky hard chunks in it
So here I am smacking the counter, ripping at the wall paper as the most indescribable, most horrible pain ever made an eternal (I am guessing 5 minutes) waterfall from my anus. After I finish I rise and turn around to face whatever evil slid out of my asshole. The toilet bowl was full.
IT
WAS
FUCKING
FULL
So that presented 2 obstacles:
1. How the fuck could I even flush the toilet
2. Even if I somehow flushed it, how woild I fucking unclog that with a plunger

In the end I had to get the industrial vacuum from my garage and vacuum the sludge up enough for me to be able to flush and plunger.
Afterward I i dumped the contents into my toilet giving courtesy flushes to keep it from overflowing.
Then I had to take the vacuum compartment out back and power wash the fucker.

Overall it wasn't as bad as I expected it to be, and I feel fine now.

[sdavis117]

I chuckled a little.

[Chainsy]

I didn't

[Pyong Kawaguchi]

I lol'd

[teh lag]

okay then

[Bodzilla]

at modacity, poop threads are the new black

[Chainsy]

Or should you say....

BROWN :caruso: