Girl talk problem.

[Snowy]

Okay guys,
So I'm a senior in high school and well, prom's coming up. I got a date, Hillary. She was in my English class last year and well we didn't talk a whole lot but we knew who each other was. So anyway, this year, we have no classes together, but still knew each other through mutual friends.. anyway, Valientiens day she texts me to do some stuff with friends (I organize a game of capture the flag) and really all this information is irrelevant, but we start texting each other say from about February 20 to well, now I guess. But anyway, From about the end of February to March our conversations had been relatively long, we'd always text each other, usually in the evening and always say good night to each other and good morning the next day. So it was a pretty good relationship. So about towards the end of March one of her bests friends tells me that i should consider asking her to prom, says that "she has been wanting me to ask her for a while now". So I do. I make her a cute little t-shirt (http://www.modacity.net/forums/showthread.php?t=20146&p=527044&viewfull=1#post527044) and she says yes... So we continue to text and hang out, but about the middle to late April I notice something.. our convo's have gotten much shorter. Now it's usually like 3-5 texts and then we're done... like I don't know what's up. I would like to think that it's her, but bottom line is that things just aren't seem to be clicking anymore. This is the second time this has happened to me, once before with my junior year, we talk for a month and a half or so and then just seem to hit a brick wall. I don't think it's totally me because I've had relationships that last longer than a month. It seems like either one of us just doesn't seem interested in having a conversation. I don't get it because nothing deliberate happened between us. But anyway, prom's two weeks away. What should I do? I don't want to ditch on her last minute, but I mean if I don't think she's going to be enjoying herself then I won't enjoy myself either. I dunno homes.. confused right now. It has the potential to be a disaster.

Advice appreciated.
Gratitude.

[Malloy]

I'd suggest talking to her about it face to face and auto-apologise on your behalf (makes them feel bad if they realise), get off this forum in your free time and stop asking her to play games of Capture the flag. Should be alright.

[sevlag]

psh prom, its a waste of money, me and my pals are probably just gonna go do something else...my one friend she isnt going cause this other girl has a dress that looks ALMOST like hers xD
high school drama is so lulzy

[Cojafoji]

Ask her in an off hand way holmes. Maybe she's just busy? Because prom is srsbsns for bitches ese.

[SiriusTexra]

It's pretty obvious to me that you were allways talking about the same stuff.

It got old, show her that your more than just some text thing. Be spontaneous and make some effort.

[StankBacon]

yah your not going to have a full on relationship only texting...

[STLRamsFan]

Talk to her face to face and see what's up. Talking about things can go a long ways in determining things. And Dane does have a point, if you guys kept talking about the same thing over and over and over again, it might have gotten old and not as interesting to talk about. Try hanging out more and see where things go from there, don't try too hard or else you might end up looking real corny or even like a jackass. Just be yourself and don't feel pressured, just have fun with it and let the good times roll.

[Rob Oplawar]

In my experience (limited as it may be) when you make a new friend or enter a new relationship it's normal to have a whole lot to talk about for the first few weeks and then kind of quiet down for a while. It's typically not a sign that either person is losing interest in the other, it just the novelty of it has worn off a bit.
Talking face-to-face is important, but I don't recommend leaping straight into talking about "we have a problem" because I don't think it is a problem as such. Try hanging out in a new context, and don't sweat it if you can't think of anything to talk about.

I've learned something from my years as a socially inept nerd: it's usually only awkward if both people think so. That is, if you both start acting awkward then it's awkward, but if one of you feels awkward but the other keeps the conversation relaxed and comfortable then the awkwardness quickly goes away. So yeah, you have nothing to fear feel awkward about but fear awkwardness itself.

[Llama Juice]

Fuck prom.

I skipped Prom, we rented a bouncy castle instead and threw a party.

http://www.hirethings.co.nz/photo/image/3636/large/Bouncy_Castle_1.jpg

[neuro]

stop texting, and start talking.

srsly, wtf.

[Aerowyn]

Well, it could be a few things, really.

I mean, it could be that you guys are talking TOO much, that she needs space. I know that when guys write to me every 5 minutes when I'm online it really sort of makes me feel tired and exasperated. Then I'm more likely to just appear offline just so I can get some peace and quiet.

OR it could be that the conversation is just getting to be boring. If you guys have a few things in common that's what you're going to want to talk about. But "hanging out" (I assume that means you guys are just chilling at one or the other's house) and talking get really stale after a while. Why don't you try setting up a spontaneous date? Call her and tell her to get ready, but don't tell her where you guys are going. Take her to a nice dinner and movie or something. I always appreciate little things like that anyway.

And, if it really comes down to it, just cool off a little bit. Just don't talk to her as much. She wanted your attention and now that she has it she doesn't have to try. So if you pull back a little bit, she's going to have to work again, and that may liven the chase a bit. :)

Good luck, and have fun at prom!

[Roostervier]

ask her to hang out and talk in person or something. if she says she is busy and doesn't offer an alternative, or if you offer an alternative and she doesn't say okay you're probably fucked.

[Spartan094]

What the heck, I know texting is a simple way to talk but talk face to face. I always do this and always the girls I talk to upfront and not text them and such say I am more different then any other guy. Just have a face to face convo. Then again I never got a cell phone to text on until last year and I still don't really use it.

Just go somewhere nice to have a convo that's all.

[Reaper Man]

stop texting, and start talking.

srsly, wtf.
Pretty much this.

[SnaFuBAR]

do you walk around in public with your arm around her? make her feel pretty? what do you do for her that makes her feel good? so far it sounds like you don't do anything. as a matter of fact, you set up ctf matches with her? bro wtf, she's not one of the dudes. if she's really your gf, treat her like it?

this pretty much sounds like the reason you have bad luck. you don't really seem to know how to carry a relationship.

[annihilation]

You're not taking your relationship seriously if that's all you're doing.
You probobly seem like "just a good friend" to her right now.
Change that; ask her if she wants to go on a walk or something, ask her if she would like to do something fun.

You need to actually work for it; it's not gonna be handed to you.

[Higuy]

stop texting, and start talking.

srsly, wtf.

write a letter

[Donut]

here's a tip: find something better to do with your time than dating. at this point it doesnt even seem like much of a relationship.
E: in response to llama juice, i also support the "fuck prom" mindset. not paying 80 (!) dollars to go to a prom with some girl that doesnt mean anything to me and listen to annoying music while everyone around me "dances" (re: getting their dicks massaged). i too will rent a bouncy on prom day. +rep llama
fake E: it seems i need to spread rep before repping llama again.

[ICEE]

do you walk around in public with your arm around her? make her feel pretty? what do you do for her that makes her feel good? so far it sounds like you don't do anything. as a matter of fact, you set up ctf matches with her? bro wtf, she's not one of the dudes. if she's really your gf, treat her like it?

this pretty much sounds like the reason you have bad luck. you don't really seem to know how to carry a relationship.

On the contrary, some girls like to be treated like "one of the guys". Really theres no "right" way to treat a woman outside of obvious respect. Its all relative.

[SnaFuBAR]

No matter what, no girlfriend wants to be treated like a brochacho 24/7.

[malolo420]

Not everyone is compatible with each other, when you meet someone normally you have a lot to talk about getting to know about them. But once you know the person, if you don't have a lot to talk to, it normally means you guys don't have enough in common for a relationship to truly work.
But the other guys are right, stop texting and start talking in person.
I know a lot of high school girls love to text, but if your doing more texting then talking shes going to get bored of you pretty quick and think you're afraid to talk in person.

And its wierd, lots of girls like to be treated like shit, they want you to dominate them. Not like treat them like shit shit, but tell them what to do with out saying please, and not a cheery tone of voice.

I kind of hate it, the girls I attract are hot sluts that only want a fucking, but all I really want is a nice, sweet, cutey that I can settle down with. Not some raging whore.

[sleepy1212]

^is probably going to understand this.

girls have 'expectations' too. you're not acting like a man. you're being a nerd and putting yourself in the friend-zone while simultaneously putting her off. and she probably likes you too. oops!

[Warsaw]

Too be honest, if a girl didn't like me because of nerdiness, then she's probably someone I wouldn't want to spend that much time with at all.

[L0d3x]

Too be honest, if a girl didn't like me because of nerdiness, then she's probably someone I wouldn't want to spend that much time with at all.

Nobody really likes nerds :)

[ICEE]

Nobody really likes nerds :)

I like nerds

[Reaper Man]

Nobody really likes nerds :)

Tell that to my girlfriend vOv

[SnaFuBAR]

long as the nerd shows affection. which is really what the whole problem seems to be.

[sleepy1212]

long as the nerd shows affection. which is really what the whole problem seems to be.

Exactly.

I didn't mean there's anything wrong with nerdy things, or being a nerd, except for the fact that many don't step up to the plate when the opportunity presents itself. This is 99% of the source of all that wah wah wah about girls don't like nice guys crap. Girls like nice guys, just not ones that are too nice or too scared to act on their feelings.

[SnaFuBAR]

Exactly.

I didn't mean there's anything wrong with nerdy things, or being a nerd, except for the fact that many don't step up to the plate when the opportunity presents itself. This is 99% of the source of all that wah wah wah about girls don't like nice guys crap. Girls like nice guys, just not ones that are too nice or too scared to act on their feelings.

:fist bump:

[bapsi]

with that all said, it's not unusual for someone to stop being all smiles and sparkles when they already "got you".
if you two really hit it and are officially an item, call the chase over. we're fast on our way to caring less about how our pits smell or where the boundary between i and tmi is. 8D;

[Llama Juice]

Tell that to my girlfriend vOv

It's true, I can vouch for this.

[Snowy]

Hi guys,
I appreciate all the responses.
First off, I had an absolute ball at prom. One of the best nights of my life, I think I'm going to host a rave soon.
Secondly, you're all probably just dying to know what happened with us. Well, turns out she's just a psycho. Not much I could do.

[Llama Juice]

A woman... that's crazy?...

NNOOOOO Surely you jest!

[rossmum]

Nobody really likes nerds :)
give me a few minutes to put my uniform back on and we'll see about that :allears:

on a more serious note, blanket statements are generally retarded and so is that one. even if we ignore the fact there are plenty of girls who would fall under the "nerd" column, there are also plenty who, for various reasons of various morality, like nerds. there are just as many who don't. hardly "nobody", but certainly not "everybody" either.


Secondly, you're all probably just dying to know what happened with us. Well, turns out she's just a psycho. Not much I could do.
she's a teenage girl what do you expect, mental stability or something?

[leorimolo]

stop texting, and start talking.

srsly, wtf.

This... If you aint got the balls to talk to her face to face, she wont be interested in you. Girls like confident guys, if they aren't confident they wont ever be with you. Simple as that.

[sleepy1212]

you're all probably just dying to know what happened with us. Well, turns out she's just a psycho. Not much I could do.

Well no, not really - we just like to argue, act smart, and shitpost.

But it's cool you figured that out..they're all pretty psycho tbqh

[n00b1n8R]

Yeah but they're not all bad and some of them fucking love it when you get your nerd on. :realsmug:
Glad you worked out she was mental before it got out of hand Snowy, there's been a few horror stories around here >_>