Thanks for the input, I actually had tried "unbeknownst" but for some reason spell checker said it was wrong...
Taking what you said to heart I'll make sure to refine my further chapters.
Thanks for the input, I actually had tried "unbeknownst" but for some reason spell checker said it was wrong...
Taking what you said to heart I'll make sure to refine my further chapters.
Last edited by TeeKup; June 17th, 2011 at 02:33 AM.
Pfff, I ignore spell-check. Call me old-fashioned, but I like to use a dictionary.
Been reading through the various pages, I enjoyed the portion where the forerunner fleet attacked the prophet of vengeance but the portion about the Gundam just seemed way out of place.
"And suddenly a golden gundam appeared with two ai either side of the pilot"
Started Chapter 15. Thoughts so far (clearly not finished)?Chapter 15
Boots in the Mud
November 4, 2562
Planet: Avalon
Location: Laurentian Highlands, Sigilum City, Heimdall Military Base.
A warm summers day at the Heimdall military base, but it was hardly quiet as it was hours earlier, several key personnel had moved to observation room overlooking the training complex Lady Arihanna had constructed. What they were watching had them particularly intrigued.
The ground thundered as the Master Chief charged ahead, dirt sprayed behind him as his boots begged for more ground. Directly ahead of him were three large hurdles, unlike the ones used by Olympic events back on Earth, these things were clearly the size of Warthog LRVs. As he reached the first hurdle, John leaped in the air, landed on it, kicked off and jumped onto the second one. He jumped toward the third hurdle, the air screaming past his helmet visor. As he landed, the kinetic energy and weight of his Mjolnir armor took hold and cracked the massive log. Right as the log was about to snap, John dropped and rolled away as splinters and chunks of wood ricocheted off his energy shields.
“Nice job, I think there’s one lodged in your neural lace.”
John gave a small chuckle in return to Cortana’s sarcasm; he actually missed her being inside his head after all this time. The Master Chief did an about face and sprinted off again, this time a large rock wall stood in his path. Kicking himself off the ground, John leaped onto the structure and began to claw his way to the top, as he reached the precipice he stopped. What he saw in the distance had him at a loss for words.
“Wow, and some people said New Alexandria was the most beautiful city in the galaxy.
Sigilum City shone bright gold in the high afternoon sky, rays of light beaming onto the city and wilderness around it. Transports and vehicles were meandering their way through the city, Forerunner civilians getting on with their daily lives. Behind the city were three long angular ships, Fast Attack Cruisers of the Forerunner Navy, they gracefully flowed past the city, their downward angled wings leaving contrails behind them. Even farther back was the Laurentian Mountain ranges, great snow capped peaks dredging into the sky, mist and fog coalescing near their bases.
As John stood on top of the rock wall, his sight seeing was interrupted by Arihanna.
“Now John, you see what WE fight for, it’s not just this planet, but every garden world across the galaxy that can support life. We must restore the balance of power to this galaxy, it is the only way everyone can prosper and survive.”
John understood; he understood every time he shot a Brute with his Battle Rifle, every time he threw a fragmentation grenade into a squad of grunts, every single time he faced off against Elite in combat. John knew why the Forerunners, a race known for their pacifism and sense of peace, had to take up arms again. He understood all too well, the faces of each one of his fallen Spartans flashed before him. As John dropped and landed onto the dirt, a small crater and shockwave echoed away from his boots. As he made his way back to the training ground, Arihanna crackled over his headset.
“Well done John, but we need to know how well you can face off in hand to hand combat, we’re sending a Sparring Sentinel to face off with you, get ready.”
“I’m assuming it doesn’t have a particle beam, those tend to be unhealthy for Johns already ragged armor.”
“Don’t worry Cortana, we use this against all military recruits, it’s safe.”
John looked down at his legs and gauntlets, observing the dents, pock marks, and plasma burns across his armor.
“Maybe I could use an upgrade…”
“We’re actually addressing that now.”
Vectum seemed cheery with his little interjection.
Last edited by TeeKup; June 19th, 2011 at 09:52 PM.
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