Computer Stupidities

[Kornman00]

http://rinkworks.com/stupid/im/compbnnr.gif



Him: "I can download games like Quake and play them during lunch, you know."
Me: "We're only allowed 10 megs in our accounts, and the system administrators would notice you downloading a large file."
Him: "Nah, I could hack it so he couldn't."
Me: "Ah, so you are into hacking. By the way do you know any programming languages?"
Him: "Yeah, of course."
Me: "Which ones?"
Him: "I can't tell you or else you'll use them."
Me: "Just by mentioning C++ or Pascal or whatever will not instantly make me a genius with those languages."
Him: "Oh sorry, I didn't understand you. Yeah, I know C++ and Pascal."
Me: "What compiler do you use?"
Him: "Well, Qbasic is my favorite."
Me: "Nobody over the age of eight uses QBasic for serious purposes."
Him: "But they made windows with QBasic."


More (http://rinkworks.com/stupid/).

I work as a network administrator now, but I've yet to get any :lol: help desk calls :(. However, my boss did get this one user the other day...

edit:


I was helping a friend with some code. In the code, I found the line:
x = x;
and removed it. I made some further changes and send the code back to him. He told me he still had errors. So he sent me his code again, and again I found the same line. I asked him why he kept putting that in there, and he replied, "So x doesn't lose its value."
hol-y. shit. that is too fucking funny :lmao:

[Reaper Man]

Been reading through the site, the stupidity of the people is both funny and frustrating at the same time :gonk:

A customer came in to the store one day with a Macintosh. I had just replaced a bad drive in the thing a few days previously. She complained that it wasn't working again, implying that I didn't fix it right the first time. So, I get out the diagnotic tools, but can't find a thing wrong with it. I then checked some of the diskettes she brought in with it and find that they are loaded with viruses. After cleaning up the diskettes, I explained to her that her computer probably got the virus by trading diskettes with someone whose computer was also infected. She then got a very sullen expression on her face and asked me, "Can a person catch this virus from their computer?"\


The computer service tech where I work told me he got a call from a secretary complaining that the floppy drive in her computer wouldn't work. He went down to check it out and found that she was putting the discs in with the plastic dust sleeves still on them. He asked her why on earth she was doing that and she said, "Well, I didn't want my computer to get a virus."



I work for the internal tech support of a company. One day I received an amusing call.

Customer: "I found a bug in my computer."
Tech Support: "How do you know it's really a bug?"
Customer: "I can see it."
Tech Support: "You can physically see a bug in your computer?"
Customer: "Yes." This was definitely worth a trip to his office. When I got there, I saw an anti-virus warning, which included a graphic of a hand holding a bug. I explained that the anti-virus software had discovered a virus on his system.

Customer: "Well, can you give me another computer so I can let this one rest and recover for a couple of days?" I cleaned the virus off his system and told him his computer was feeling better now.

[Bodzilla]

lol

[Pyong Kawaguchi]

Kinda reminds me of the 8800 that is agp, pci and pcie.....

[Jelly]

Kinda reminds me of the 8800 that is agp, pci and pcie.....
^___________^

[Reaper Man]

I worked for a while in tech support for a large ISP. One day the guy next to me got a call asking for a demo of the Internet. I said I could send him a one month free trial, but he said, "No, no, I don't want any trial versions. I just want a demo. Can you just copy the Internet to CDs and mail them to me?"
It took me about ten minutes to explain before he got a clue that this was, in fact, impossible. Even then he refused the free trial and just hung up. This always makes me wonder what goes on in some people's heads.Yeah, I want the internet burned to CDs too :saddowns:


I was doing Excel support at Microsoft shortly after Win95 came out. Someone called and needed some help on Excel. He told me he had left the computer for a few minutes, and when he came back, the "devil" had "possessed" his computer. He told me it was bubbling all over the place, and the devil was in his monitor. I told him to move the mouse. The devil left. It was the screen saver.:facepalm:

[itszutak]

Holy CRAP.

I found this about four years ago, and I've been looking around forever.

Sure, it's as old as the internet (almost literally <_>), but I liked it last time I read it.

Also
Back in the early 90s the programming staff in our office were still using dumb terminals to do mainframe programming. The department installed a dedicated PC to share files over a modem with other departments off site. People in the office began to use the machine for 'unofficial' purposes such as playing games after hours. Management saw this and, afraid of someone introducing a virus, installed password protection software on the machine (which also prevented the machine from being booted from a floppy disk to bypass the security). Shortly afterwards the machine began performing erratically and occasionally lost files. Our technical support group examined the machine and found a virus. Puzzled as to how a virus could have been introduced into a protected machine, they examined the various pieces of software in the office. It was found that the virus had come from the disk that had been used to install the password protection software onto the machine (in an attempt to protect the machine from viruses). Unfortunately, the anti-virus software they had on hand needed to be loaded from a bootable floppy disk to prevent infection of the diskette. However, as previously mentioned, the security software had disabled the boot function of the floppy disk drive. They finally ended up reformatting the entire drive to get rid of the virus.

[teh lag]

Me: "So what do you think of the Y2K problem?"
My Coach: "The what?"
Me: "The Y-2-K problem. What do you think about it?"
My Coach: "What is Y2K?"
Me: "Y2K, you know, the year 2000 problem?"
My Coach: "Oh yeah, I know something about that."
Me: "So do you think that this is going to be a big problem?"
My Coach: "Of course not! If Bill Gates can write Windows 98 all by himself, then he's going to be able to fix the problem on time."

:lmao:

[legionaire45]

Receptionist: "Good morning; how may I help you?"
Caller: "I didn't understand your answering machine, so I thought I'd better hold on."
Receptionist: "Who would you like to speak to?"
Caller: "I was after testical support."I put him through on the technical support line, but I suppose the obvious answer would have been to suggest a jock strap.
um.... :gonk:
EDIT:

A few weeks ago, we had a young man come in and say, "My computer is getting cervical errors." He looked surprised when we started laughing.
:gonk: :gonk: :gonk:

[teh lag]

I am a computer science student in my senior year. One day the professor asked the class if anyone knew who's the biggest PC retailer in the market nowadays. Of course, many said "IBM," which is not true.

"The correct answer is Dell," smiled the professor.

Then a girl from my class who was sitting behind me whispered to her friend: "Oh, right! That's why there's that 'Dell' key on all those keyboards."

To which her friend answered, "Ohhhhhhhhh!"

......
..............
.........................

:suicide:

[Random]

This is really old people, and I find it sad that it is new to many of you.

[itszutak]

This is really old people, and I find it sad that it is new to many of you.
Seriously though, this site was made in 1998.

Ten years ago.

It's being updated regularly though, so not all of it is old.:eyesroll:

[Jelly]

Yeah, I've seen a lot of these before, but the new ones can still be awesome.

[StankBacon]

Kinda reminds me of the 8800 that is agp, pci and pcie.....

i love how he tried to play it off as a joke too, what a fucking idiot.

[ultama121]

Lol, love this website, I found it a few weaks ago. My favorite part is the part about hardware abuse :lol:.

[Amit]

i love how he tried to play it off as a joke too, what a fucking idiot.

That is news to me. Can you direct me to the post?



:lmao:

[Kornman00]

This is really old people, and I find it sad that it is new to many of you.
Sorry, but not all of us spend our lives aimlessly browsing the internet for entertainment, but find it sad that you do :eyesroll:. I only came across this site when viewing the wiki article (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Action_Request_System) on the help desk software I use at work

[Pooky]

Saw this ages ago, but it's still hilarious. The virus ones are the best.

[Con]

Him: "Can you answer a question?"
Me: "Sure."
Him: "See the recycle bin? Does someone come round and empty it?"
bwahahahahaa XD

[Atty]

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows."

The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine."



Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please."

Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."

Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"
Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?"

Tech Support: "Yeah."

Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"

Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah."

Customer: "My computer crashed!"

Tech Support: "It crashed?"

Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."

Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."

Customer: "No, it didn't crash -- it crashed."

Tech Support: "Huh?"

Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed my spaceship and now it doesn't work."

Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"

Customer: (pause) "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"

Eh.

[Zeph]

Oh, if they had a software section, I would have enough stories to double their size.

[itszutak]

Our company's website has a section for press releases that's automatically updated. On January 2, 2000, it proudly presented the following:
29.12.99 (...some headline...)
29.12.99 (...some headline...)
30.12.99 (...some headline...)
02.01.100 Success! No Y2K bugs!
:v:

[Verdugo]

I love the paranoia section.



Tech Support: "Sir, did you just install Office 97?"
Customer: "YOU'RE IN MY COMPUTER, AREN'T YOU?????" (click)

:lol:


I was once using the generic telnet program on the library computers to check my mail on UTM (the local university) with Pine. The computer-inept librarian walked up behind me.

Her: (shrieking) "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"
Me: "I'm checking my email--"
Her: "It looks like you're breaking into the computer!!"
Me: "No really -- I'm checking my mail."
Her: "But that's not HOTMAIL!!"
Me: "I don't use hotmail. I use--"
Her: "But EVERYONE uses HOTMAIL!!"
Me: "No, my account goes through UTM. My email account ends with--"
Her: "But that's not what MYYY UTM looks like!!" (apparently referring to the UTM web page)
Me: "Yes, I'm telnetting. It's another way of accessing--"
Her: "I think you better shut that off. You're breaking into the computer."
Me: "But I--"
Her: "Turn it off. I don't believe that 'checking mail' story."

When in college, I had to make a fake advertisement for a class. I had a GIF that I downloaded that I wanted to put into it, so I sat down at the only Mac that was connected to the scanner in the school's computer lab. For some reason, it couldn't open the file, and the program crashed repeatedly. I got a lab technician to come over, and I explained the problem. She asked what I did to it and got angry with me. So I went to the Mac next to the one I was on and opened the picture in the same program. She told me in no uncertain terms that I was responsible for ruining the computer.

Me: "I scanned these pictures in, then tried to open this GIF I downloaded."
Her: "What? You can't do that! That type of a file is for Windows machines only! It isn't supported on Macs."
Me: "No, it is a standard graphic file. It can be opened on either machine."
Her: "No it can't! You might have to pay to fix this."
Me: "If it can't open on a Mac, how did I get it to open on this Mac right here? See?"
Her: "Don't do that! You're gonna break that one also." To protect her computer from evil me, she leaned over and flipped the power switch off.


:suicide:

[ExAm]

I worked on my manager's computer a while back. While waiting for an operation to complete, I was idly spinning the cursor around the screen, as many do. My manager asked why techs often seem to do that.
"Oh," I said, "sometimes you have to spin the mouse around in a clockwise direction to wind it up. You don't have to do it very often, but we usually do it while we're working on other things to save time."
The manager swallowed the story, and my co-workers and I had a good chuckle about it later.
A few days later, another of our guys was working on the same machine. The manager caught him moving the cursor around while he was waiting on the computer to finish something.
"Why are you spinning the cursor counterclockwise?" the manager asked.
Without missing a beat, he replied, "Every so often, they get wound up too tight, and you have to unwind them."... :v:

[Mr Buckshot]

You think that is stupid? One of my friends is even worse with computers...

Me: How's your new computer
Him: It's brand new and it can't run Crysis. I don't get it. It cost $1000 from Dell and it should run it.
Me: What are the specs
Him: Huh?
Me: Videocard, CPU, etc?
Him: I don't get you. Come check it out

So I go over to his place and check it out. Turns out he has a Celeron D and 1 GB RAM and an Intel GMA X3000. Worse still, the cheapskate refused to buy Crysis and pirated it...I was tempted to smack 'im in the head right then.

Me: Your videocard is not good, get another one.
Him: Oh ok, what type?
Me: Hmm...Maybe Nvidia Geforce 9600 GT?
Him: Ok, where can I download that?
Me: What do you mean?
Him: You can download anything for games from (undisclosed piracy site).
Me: (facepalm) This is hardware, not software. You can't pirate it. Even if you could, it's illegal and you should be smacked for it.
Him: But my daddy bought the computer, and no one at my place understands all this computer stuff.
Me: Then don't do PC gaming. Go back to your PS2

I discovered that "computer stupidities" site last year. I love the old ones, such as how someone physically hammered an AGP card into a PCI slot, destroying it in the process, then tried to RMA the card. There was also a case of a guy who filed down an N64 cartridge to fit into the floppy drive...

[Lateksi]

There was also a case of a guy who filed down an N64 cartridge to fit into the floppy drive...
Why Mario not works!!? :mad:

[Amit]

There was also a case of a guy who filed down an N64 cartridge to fit into the floppy drive...

Do the people think it's a piece of wood? Do they think they can cut parts off of the item and still expect it to work?

[Rob Oplawar]

After half an hour of patiently talking her through what should have been a one minute process, she finally stated, "Oh! Now it says, 'Are you sure you want to rebuild the desktop on the disk XXX?'"

* Tech Support: "Ok--"
* Customer: "Oh, now there's something like a spinning barber pole on the screen."
* Tech Support: "You didn't press 'OK' did you?"
* Customer: "Yes. You said 'OK'."
* Tech Support: (acting alarmed) "I just said 'Ok,' I didn't mean for you to press 'OK'!"
* Customer: (panicking) "What should I do now?"
* Tech Support: "Run! Get out of there! Run! Run!"

The next thing he heard was the phone hitting the floor, the sound of rapidly retreating footsteps, and a door slam. After numerous calls over the course of an hour, the customer finally answered the phone. She had waited outside for an hour -- when the computer didn't explode, she went back inside and unplugged it.

I roflmaoed at that.

e:

* Customer: "I think I broke the Internet!"
* Tech Support: "So it was you!"
* Customer: (click)
XD

[Rob Oplawar]

bumplepost:

i had this code in my program:


const ALL =1073741823;//111111111111111111111111111111
const USR_X =1; //000000000000000000000000000001
const USR_W =2; //000000000000000000000000000010
const USR_R =4; //000000000000000000000000000100
const GRP_X =56; //000000000000000000000000111000
const GRP_W =448; //000000000000000000000111000000
const GRP_R =3584; //000000000000000000111000000000
const GRP_E =28672; //000000000000000111000000000000
const WLD_X =229376; //000000000000111000000000000000
const WLD_W =1835008; //000000000111000000000000000000
const WLD_R =14680064; //000000111000000000000000000000
const WLD_E =117440512; //000111000000000000000000000000
const SETUID =134217728; //001000000000000000000000000000
const SETGID =268435456; //010000000000000000000000000000
const STICKY =536870912; //100000000000000000000000000000

I actually calculated by hand the integer value of binary 111000000000000000000000, etc.
I forgot that you can do the exact same thing with:


const ALL =0x7777777777;
const USR_X =0x0000000001;
const USR_W =0x0000000002;
const USR_R =0x0000000004;
const GRP_X =0x0000000070;
const GRP_W =0x0000000700;
const GRP_R =0x0000007000;
const GRP_E =0x0000070000;
const WLD_X =0x0000700000;
const WLD_W =0x0007000000;
const WLD_R =0x0070000000;
const WLD_E =0x0700000000;
const SETUID =0x1000000000;
const SETGID =0x2000000000;
const STICKY =0x4000000000;

now don't i feel silly

KM and p0lar, you may now proceed to laugh at me derisively.

e: btw, it's a safe bet that you guys know exactly what it is I'm doing with these constants. But if you look closer, you'll see there's something quite odd about them... =3
But seriously, it only serves the purpose of making permissions even more confusing. >=D
And I've got two bits left to use in my int. What sort of devious flags could I concoct for this thing?
ee: ohhh yeah, one of those bits is in use. Ok, but I still can fit one more flag in there.
Perhaps a flag that causes the word PENIS to be inserted in the read data stream at random intervals.

eee: oh yeah, baby, you like it when I insert penis into your data stream, don't you?
holy fuck I'm nerdy.

[itszutak]

eee: oh yeah, baby, you like it when I insert penis into your data stream, don't you?
holy fuck I'm nerdy.
brb, using that last bit as a sig

[Kornman00]

eee: oh yeah, baby, you like it when I insert penis into your data stream, don't you?
holy fuck I'm nerdy.
only if you use protection before you do, don't want any overflows...

[Rob Oplawar]

This counts as a computer stupidity because it doesn't deserve its own thread and because it seems like a really stupid thing for browser designers to leave unchecked:

It's always bugged me that no browser I've ever seen has any way to recover from this (aside from disallowing scripts in the first place, but that doesn't really let you recover if they weren't forbidden before it got into the loop):


<script language="Javascript" type="text/javascript">
/*<![CDATA[*/
while(1) alert('haha, you have to kill the process now.');
/*]]>*/
</script>

Go ahead, try it.

e: I mean, really, this is why I have to use NoScript- why I have to use a whitelist rather than a blacklist. Any random website could immediately cause my browser to block indefinitely before I had a chance to assess its trustworthiness. Sheesh.

[Cortexian]

This counts as a computer stupidity because it doesn't deserve its own thread and because it seems like a really stupid thing for browser designers to leave unchecked:

It's always bugged me that no browser I've ever seen has any way to recover from this (aside from disallowing scripts in the first place, but that doesn't really let you recover if they weren't forbidden before it got into the loop):


<script language="Javascript" type="text/javascript">
/*<![CDATA[*/
while(1) alert('haha, you have to kill the process now.');
/*]]>*/
</script>
Go ahead, try it.

e: I mean, really, this is why I have to use NoScript- why I have to use a whitelist rather than a blacklist. Any random website could immediately cause my browser to block indefinitely before I had a chance to assess its trustworthiness. Sheesh.
I put something like that into my schools intranet website homepage just before I left (graduated)... Basically they have a little spot on the page to display videos of what ever is going on that month. So right before I left I changed the video from grad 2008 to a rick roll, from there I added a java popup for when you hit close or navigate away (from that page)... The Java window had three options or something, OK, Yes, No I think they were, Yes and No both engaged the script... I really should have screen shot'd it all before I left....

[Phobias]

A friend of mine told me that when he was in junior high school (mid-to-late nineties), they got a computer in the classroom free for the students to use during breaks. The first thing many of them would do to was to change the dull Windows 95 desktop. The school's IT Manager for some reason thought of this as vandalism, so he frequently fixed it in the only way he knew how -- by reinstalling Windows.
I was almost on the floor laughing when my friend told me about how the IT Manager had come into their classroom one day and told the students, "Will you STOP changing the desktop background? I've had to reinstall Windows every day for the last two weeks now!"

This has truly brightened up my day (what's left of it, anyway)

[Rob Oplawar]

shall this become a thread about school computer pranks?

screw it, if you don't want to hear my story, then don't read it.



When I was in high school, the librarians hated me, and I hated them. Right from the first day. When I first started high school I was one of those kids who would spend all day in the library doing absolutely nothing constructive, and that drove the librarians crazy. They would always try to get rid of me, which drove me crazy, because the whole time I was in the library I never broke one rule.

Let me repeat that for clarity: Technically, I never did anything that was explicitly forbidden while I was attending school. After I graduated, though...

I had a few friends who were also like this, so it became us vs the librarians. We took potshots at each other for three and a half years, pretty much without consequence. (I got banned from the library for a few months in my Junior year, but I'm pretty sure it was just because they hated me and not that I had done anything wrong. :-3) So at the beginning of my last semester, I was hanging out with my friends as usual, and we were bored, so we thought it would be funny to create a little power point slideshow. My friends and I each logged into a separate machine, and uploaded and activated our slideshows which said "THE LIBRARIANS ABUSE THEIR ADMINISTRATIVE PRIVALEGES." (sic- I did misspell privileges at the time). Then a guy I knew thought it would be funny to adjust the color settings on all the monitors, to make the backgrounds appear red or green instead of white- this was against the rules, but I didn't do it.

But whatever, it was all harmless, and it wasn't even very funny. But then the librarians took it to another level.

I got pulled out of my class to go to the principal's office (oh no, you're sending me to the principal? have mercy on my soul!). When I got there, I saw the principal, my counselor, the librarians, and three uniformed and armed police officers, all looking menacingly at me. My first reaction was, "oh fuck, who died?", but it turns out the librarians had actually called the police because they couldn't figure out how to close the power point presentations nor fix the color settings on the monitors, so they naturally assumed that I had caused permanent damage to the computers, and they wanted me arrested for it. I explained, and the police officers looked very annoyed for getting called in over something so stupid, and they let me off the hook.

But the librarians had crossed a line, and it was time for revenge.

At the time we all though we were such clever hackers, but in hindsight we were doing really simplistic stuff.

First was the fake login screen- this was before "press ctrl-alt-delete to log in", so it was a piece of cake to run a program that captured a username and password and then reported that the user couldn't log in right now, effectively locking the terminal from the casual user. I should have done something with the usernames and passwords, but I never did.

Then there was the timer program- at 7:00 a.m. it would launch into an infinite loop.
Inside this loop were a few very simple commands:
Open word document
Write "THE LIBRARIANS ABUSE THEIR ADMINISTRATIVE PRIVILEGES" 100 times
Send document to the printer
Send random beep tone to computer's built in speaker
randomly either open or close the cd tray
send a windows message: "THE LIBRARIANS ABUSE (... etc)" to the librarians' users
repeat ad infinitum.

The librarians had recently installed a program that intercepted print requests and opened the document for their approval before allowing it to be printed- we almost immediately found a very simple workaround that still sent the document to the librarians, but went ahead and printed without their approval.

Of course, I knew that the librarians would instantly assume it was me (perhaps rightly so), so I got my program onto a dozen floppies and recruited a dozen freshman goons to go into the library and upload it for me after I graduated but before the underclassmen went on summer vacation.

Unfortunately this meant that I was not there to see the results, but from what I hear, they got the program uploaded and running on nearly every one of the 50 or so computers in the library.
For about 30 seconds every computer in the library went crazy, beeping and opening cd trays, with word documents cascading across the screens, before they all inevitably blue-screened. The librarians' computers immediately froze up from the thousands of documents being sent to them in addition to all the windows messages that kept arriving from the different users, while the printers in the back were spewing out page after page of text. The librarians thought it was a virus, but they couldn't pin it on me from the "LIBRARIANS ABUSE" thing because after the first time I did it there was a slew of imitators, as everyone hated the librarians.

After all this my only regret is that it took the school's computer administrator a week or so to clean up the damage (looks like the crashes screwed up the computers' registries), and I actually liked that guy. I hear he thought it was hilarious, though.

[Jelly]

That's awesome, Rob.

[Hotrod]

Rob, you are now my hero for the day (make that 2 hours and 21 minutes).

This site is awesome, love the stories on it. I'll be spending a bit of time reading all of them.

[korori]

lol Rob; My problem was they recruited me to become the schools IT. Im like ok WTF...Anyways I had some experiences with stupid customers that dont seem to know what there doing.

Example of one of my Experience as An IT:

Me: Here you go. Your computer should work like new.
Her: Oh thank you very much.
Me: Not a Problem
Her: By the way did you put the smoke back in my computer.
Me: Excuse me, WHAT???
Her: Yes, did you put it back in there. How it was.
Me: No
Her: Well Im not taking it back until you put the smoke back in there.
Me: One Moment (I had to get my boss to hear this)
Boss: What seems to be the problem
Her: I brought my computer for repair and you guys did not put the smoke back in it
Boss: That is why you had to bring it in.... Half the stuff was melted... and needed to be replaced.
Her: Oh, So you cant put it back in there.
Me: (OMG -in my head)
Her: Well oh well as long as it works (Paid for the repair and left)

(What we found in it was pretty bad; a dead rat, tons of bugs and plastic shards everywhere in the case)

[Bodzilla]

Rofl!

[Cortexian]

If you wanna pull a fun little prank in your computer rooms, get some type of Aluminum foil (some candy wrappers work). Fold it into something that looks kinda like this " [ ", then attach it to some type of non-conductive stick and stick it into the electrical sockets :).

Shout short out that entire circuit.

[Amit]

If you wanna pull a fun little prank in your computer rooms, get some type of Aluminum foil (some candy wrappers work). Fold it into something that looks kinda like this " [ ", then attach it to some type of non-conductive stick and stick it into the electrical sockets :).

Shout short out that entire circuit.

So basically, open up a traditional Juicy Fruit, pop it in your mouth, and fold the wrapper back up the way you got it but leaving the little flaps open?

[Apoc4lypse]

Me: "Ah, so you are into hacking. By the way do you know any programming languages?"
Him: "Yeah, of course."
Me: "Which ones?"
Him: "I can't tell you or else you'll use them."
Me: "Just by mentioning C++ or Pascal or whatever will not instantly make me a genius with those languages."sounds like a friend of mine lmao...

kid can't hack shit.. but hes a good actor, and likes to make people believe stuff... bet he has no clue what c++ is... he's also a tad computer-incompetent idk why, he uses the pc enough that he should know certain things.

People that use computers and don't know how to take care of them frustrate the hell out of me.

For example, my sister got this really nice desktop computer one year for her birthday... the thing is currently sitting there collecting dust. The keyboard would make insects puke its so nasty... the mouse don't even get me started. First things first, if you own a computer, keep it clean, otherwise stuff WILL break, some people amaze me. Thats just the begining though, she has no security sense what so ever and no one monitors anything thats computer related in the house, I've made multiple offers to my dad to set up some sort of network for our house, but my dad doesn't trust me at all... but then again my uncle who's like a networking genius has even offered to help, but my dad just doesn't let him, so idk... my house is like.. not a friendly place for computers, the only full functioning pc's are mine (from like 2003 I got it) and my dads recently new ibm notebook.

Going back to my sisters computer though, its got some sort of virus (I never really took the time to look into this so I have no idea whats wrong with it) and it takes like years to start now, its probably infested with malware and adware, and a few serious viruses I'm betting. At any rate, I don't care enough to spend the time to fix it, I'd much rather just reformat the HD to clear it of everything, because it'd require a lot less time on my part, plus theres nothing worth saving on that computer anyway I'm betting. I'd be more then happy to reformat it and get it running again plus put some virus protection software on it, but my dad misplaced all the cd's that came with it. So if I did reformat it, I'd have to use my computer to find all the drivers most likely.

My dad also owns another sony vaio notebook thats pretty old now thats been suffering the same fate, and oh yeah, he has online banking software on it... -_- thats just like, a lost cause, he needs to somehow back up his banking information, then reformat it, and hes probably misplaced the all the cd's with drivers for that computer too.

My family amazes me when it comes to computers and how they abuse them yet think I'll break something if I try to fix them (or at least thats the excuse I get) not only that but my dad turns down help from my uncle whos like a professional and works in the security field.

So yeah... idgi, common sense doesn't exist when its comes to taking care of electronics in my home, so yeah I don't let anyone but me touch my computer lmao.

I'll eventually fix my sisters computer though, mostly because my dad started letting her use his new notebook, which I don't want to see suffer the same fate...


So basically, open up a traditional Juicy Fruit, pop it in your mouth, and fold the wrapper back up the way you got it but leaving the little flaps open?

I lol'd


E: yeah, this just reminded me, I've been procrastinating taking apart my computer. I need to clean it out and check out whats wrong with the fan, it recently started making an odd noise, I think its probably just dust or something like that though... either that or its the sound of my hard drive about to fail.

XD didn't think about that one till now *starts backing up important stuff.*

[ExAm]

last time funny noises came from my computer it was the GPU fan getting loose >_>

[Phobias]

My old graphics card used to tick like a clock when I was playing something like ...well, halo on 1600x1200 max settings.

It was awesome, my mother walked in one day and noticed that there were no clocks in my room and -without hesitation- yelled "BOMB!" and ran out of the house. 2 hours later she decides it's safe, comes back in and asks "well what is ticking?" .

I love that woman xD

[Bodzilla]

ROFL

[ExAm]

My old graphics card used to tick like a clock when I was playing something like ...well, halo on 1600x1200 max settings.

It was awesome, my mother walked in one day and noticed that there were no clocks in my room and -without hesitation- yelled "BOMB!" and ran out of the house. 2 hours later she decides it's safe, comes back in and asks "well what is ticking?" .

I love that woman xDLooks like phobias run in your family, 'cept your mother's the only one running in your family :awesome:

*ba-dum-pshh!*

[Phobias]

Looks like phobias run in your family, 'cept your mother's the only one running in your family :awesome:

*ba-dum-pshh!*


http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/9926/1172337842358ks6.gif

[Rob Oplawar]

*bump*

Today I saw one of the strangest things I have ever seen... I saw a printed 3D model.

Not like one of those plastic things made by a 3D printer, or a bunch of paper cut-outs assembled into a model, but a stack of papers about an inch thick of printed ASCII text:

triangle3218:
vert1:423.243,20.32,205.56
vert2:10.312,14.124,205.56
vert3:95.94,62.523,1.144
...

etc.

Nevermind the fact that this is an extremely odd and inefficient method for storing 3D mesh information, but why on earth would somebody print it out? What possible purpose could that serve?

[Patrickssj6]

Maybe cause it makes you look smart? I'd print this out any time and would hang it on my wall just to impress people :hist101:

0053DBBF > $ 6A 18 PUSH 18
0053DBC1 . 68 B8DD5400 PUSH halocede.0054DDB8
0053DBC6 . E8 85150000 CALL halocede.0053F150
0053DBCB . BF 94000000 MOV EDI,94
0053DBD0 . 8BC7 MOV EAX,EDI
0053DBD2 . E8 69040000 CALL halocede.0053E040
0053DBD7 . 8965 E8 MOV DWORD PTR SS:[EBP-18],ESP
0053DBDA . 8BF4 MOV ESI,ESP
0053DBDC . 893E MOV DWORD PTR DS:[ESI],EDI
0053DBDE 56 PUSH ESI
0053DBDF . FF15 4CD15400 CALL DWORD PTR DS:[<&KERNEL32.GetVersionExA>] ; \GetVersionExA
0053DBE5 . 8B4E 10 MOV ECX,DWORD PTR DS:[ESI+10]
0053DBE8 . 890D 00FF5A00 MOV DWORD PTR DS:[5AFF00],ECX
0053DBEE . 8B46 04 MOV EAX,DWORD PTR DS:[ESI+4]
0053DBF1 . A3 0CFF5A00 MOV DWORD PTR DS:[5AFF0C],EAX
0053DBF6 . 8B56 08 MOV EDX,DWORD PTR DS:[ESI+8]
0053DBF9 . 8915 10FF5A00 MOV DWORD PTR DS:[5AFF10],EDX
0053DBFF . 8B76 0C MOV ESI,DWORD PTR DS:[ESI+C]
0053DC02 . 81E6 FF7F0000 AND ESI,7FFF
0053DC4A . 3D 0B010000 CMP EAX,10B
0053DC4F . 74 1F JE SHORT halocede.0053DC70
0053DC51 . 3D 0B020000 CMP EAX,20B

[Rob Oplawar]

HAX! I hope your computer crashes.

I wish I could read/write assembly for intel chips.

[Rob Oplawar]

So today I decided I wanted to play Bioshock, which I have for Windows Vista. So I reboot my computer and for the first time in many months I try booting into Vista instead of XP.

Well, long story short, my bootloader was borked because of the drive ordering, and I tried to go into my BIOS to fix it, only to discover that in some ancient time I had set a password. I had no idea what it was- I knew the word, but I always vary the capitalization and number substitution, and I tried at least a hundred different permutations. I finally gave up and decided to look in the case to see if I had misconfigured the jumpers or something, but wait... what's this little slip of paper taped next to my motherboard? ... it says, "BIOS pw: xxxxxxxx".

Yep, not only did I set a complicated password that I couldn't remember, but I stuck the password in writing right next to the mobo.


There is no FACEPALM.JPG big enough.