top 100 "christian" quotes

[n00b1n8R]

This is sad.

A woman wants to abort a rape child? She should have thought of that before she walked down that dark alley without a male prescence, not to mention she should have thought before putting on revealing attire.

[Yes. It should (be legal). Otherwise you're screwing over the women who don't deserve their fate.]

Are you calling them victims now? Should've stayed in the house where it's safe. Uberbeliever, Christian Forums (http://www.christianforums.com/t4625931&page=5) [Comments (148) (http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/comments.aspx?q=19820)] [2007-Jan-24] Submitted by Tdevil

There all of that aproximate IQ on topics ranging from "what having a brain has to dowith the bible (nothing)" to disproving gravity "if gravity existed, we would be orbiting mountains" or explaining how the world is flat "Australia's aren't hanging upside down".

Educate yourself! (http://duggmirror.com/comedy/100_Greatest_Quotes_from_fundamentalist_christian_ chat_rooms/) http://sa.tweek.us/emots/images/emot-pseudo.gif

[Heathen]

She should have been in front of the stove :eng101:


Srsly though, that is rediculous.

I'm pro choice, but only when it comes to good judgement. If its a possibility for the girl to have the damn critter and put it up for adoption, but if she is a student and cant miss school, or her own life is at risk...I say its almost necessary. Dont be a whore and keep abortions to fall back on....use good judgement.

[sdavis117]

The third quote on that list made me pissed. I can't beleive that mother would be so stupid. Her stupidity caused her son to commit suicide.

These quotes are just sad. I feel sorry that there are people like that out there.

[TK421]

Facepalm.

Facepalm.
Facepalm.
Facepalm.

That is all.

[nooBBooze]

Thats the downside of mankind overcoming nature - we effectively abolished natural selection.
"Idiocracy" DO YOU WATCH IT?

[Heathen]

If we ever meet and I stab you in the face, keep in mind it's your fault for not avoiding the knife.


Perfect.

[p0lar_bear]

I can sum it up in three words: Evolution is a lie

:v::v::v::v::v::v::v::v::v:

[Pooky]

Man if you actually look at some of those Christian forums... it seems like time is frozen there. The same shit that's been going on since the 19th century is still going on: evolutionists presenting evidence to be ignored by fundamentalists.

[Syuusuke]

404 Not found.

ooh Nevermind

[itszutak]

Wow. I can't stop reading this. o_0

To say the Bible was written by men and may contain inaccuracies completely contradicts the word of the Bible.

Jesus is not a Jew. Jesus was Jewish.:v:

[Heathen]

:facepalm:

[Warsaw]

I often debate with evolutionists because I believe that they are narrow mindedly and dogmatically accepting evolution without questioning it. I don't really care how God did what He did. I know He did it.:suicide:


Every time an Atheist dies, the world is better off as
a result of that dead Atheist being dead, & its damned
God-forsaken soul burning in the fiery pits of Hades. :) HERESY! BURN! BURN! BURN!!!

:v:


You are banned. You are not a Christian for Christians don't accuse brothers and sisters in Christ of being non-Christian.

Moron.

[Heathen]

LOL @1
LOL @2
LOLWUT @3

[Terin]

Oh god the stupidity hurts so much :gonk:

Stuff like that drove me away from religion as a kid. Now, I can respect people who use religion as a comfort or for guidance, but people who ignorantly follow it, and shove it in other's faces, that's where I draw the line.

[Heathen]

GODDAMN Terin. That was perfect. Thats EXACTLY what I always say.....every single bit of what you said.

[Terin]

:v:

[Hotrod]

Well, some people always take stuff, and go to the extreme. I mean, the people saying atheists are horrible, mean, soulless people is just going to far. Sure, maybe their actions aren't really religion-based, but that doesn't mean that they are bad actions.

Oh, and the one where they go on about the Earth being flat, so if it was flat, then how could you do a turn around the Earth? Also, we have pictures, people have gone into space, and seen, and I doubt that we had Photoshop back in the 50's.

[LlamaMaster]

Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.
Usually these threads piss me off, but this is gold.

[thehoodedsmack]

So I guess they must think fat people are the worst sinners of us all?

[teh lag]

So I guess they must think fat people are the worst sinners of us all?

Hey - gluttony *is* a sin, but then the head lady from Jesus Camp (http://www.indiewire.com/people/BeckyFischer.jpg) (best horror movie ever) would be in a fairly poor position to be giving religious guidance indoctrination to children.

[Warsaw]

I had to stop reading it before I lost some serious IQ points.

[Zeph]

Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.

Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!

O_o

[Zeph]

Jesus is not a Jew. Jesus was Jewish.
O_o

[ExAm]

:lmao:

Now I'd like to say that the reason I started not believing in God was because of all this stupid stuff, but the reality is that I was little and I wanted a new tricycle, so I asked God to prove he existed by putting a trike in my room the next morning. I never got one, and so I never believed in God after that. Then I found more rational reasons not to believe in God, and here I am :downs:

EDIT:

What is called 'Science' today and 'scientists' consist of the same old gang of witch doctors, sorcerers, tellers of tales, the 'Priest-Entertainers' for the common people. 'Science' consists of a weird, way-out occult concoction of jibberish theory-theology... nothing good has ever come from 'science' --- In fact, technology is not in any way related to the web of idiotic scientific theory. ALL inventors have been anti-science. The Wright brothers said: "Science theory held us up for years. When we threw out all science, started from experiment and experience, then we invented the airplane." By the way, airplanes all fly level on this Plane earth!

The Fact the Earth is Flat is not my opinion, it is a Proved Fact! While all we need to know is that the Bible says the Earth is flat (Is.40:22, Ez.7:2, Dn.2:35; 4:10-11,20, Mt.4:8)... but for a second can you imagine what these so-called 'scientists would have us believe --- If the earth really was round, that would mean there arre people who are HANGING DOWN, HEAD DOWNWARDS while we are standing head up? But since the theory allows to travel to those parts of the earth where the people are said to hand head downward, and still to fancy ourselves to be heads upwards, and our friends whom we have left behind us to be heads downwards! LOL! What foolishness! TheWHOLE THING IS A MYTH - A DREAM - A DELUSION - and a snare, and, instead of there being any evidence at all in this direction to substantiate this popular theory, it is plain proof that the Earth is Not A Globe!

Also, be sure to know the Sun and Moon are about 3,000 miles away are both 32 miles across. The Planets are 'tiny.' Sun and Moon do Move, earth does NOT move, whirl, spin or gyrate (1 Sam.2:8, 1 Chr.16:30; Job 9:6, 38:4-6; Ps.96:10, 104:5, Is.13:10, Mic.6:2). Australians do NOT hang by their feet under the world... this is a FACT, not a theory! Also a Fact the Spinning, Whirling, Gyrating Ball World Planet, Globe Idea is Entirely 100% now and at all times in the Past, a RELIGIOUS DOCTRINE... a Blind Dogmatic Article of Faith in the Religion for the Blind unreasoning beast of prey. No earthly reason for a Sane, Upright Member of the Elite True Christians to subscribe to it. Also a Fact, today the Elite of Earth ALL live on the Flat World. Only the illogical, unreasoning "herd"... prefers the way-out occult weird theology of the old Greek superstitution earth a spinning ball! Both Copernecious and Newton, the inventors of the "modern" superstitions (400 year OLD modern) have said: "It is not possible for a Sane reasonable person to ever really believe these Theories." Thus sayeth Newton-Copernecious. What sayeth THOU?

This past spring I was expelled from my high school. Why? Because I'm a Christian. There was a girl in my class who was wiccan, and I didn't want demons to possess me or anyone else and save her from satan. So, I told her that her faith was evil and told her to accept Jesus as Savior and she would be saved. Simple as that. Just say the sinners prayer and you can be saved!

Well I got sent to the principal for that. She said I was 'discriminating' against her religion. I was only doing what the Bible, God, Jesus and my pastor said! How is that wrong!?

Well, afterwards I was forced to aplologize, even though it's a sin to, so I never meant what I said. So, instead I put a copy of a Jack Chick tract in her locker about how wicca and a paganism lead to murder, rape and other horrible things because it lets the devil get inside of you. I also left a little note about how she was going to hell. I was hoping she would see the error of her ways and repent from the evil, disgusting 'religion'.

Instead I was called down to the principal again and this time there were two police officers there. And they said I was under arrest for harrasing this girl and threatening her! What did I do? I just wanted her to accept Jesus and be saved! Now her family (all evil, stupid, disgusting god hating wiccans) want to sue me for discrimination and creating a hostile workplace! How is that fair? She's the one who's discriminating against me because I'm one with the LORD!

Jesus is the only way to salvation! It's that simple people! No pope, wicca, or anything stupid like that! JESUS ONLY! Why is is wrong to tell others that? It's all the fault of the ACLU and simlar atheist organizations trying to destroy us Christians. Next they'll want to genocide us for doing our Godly work.

[Bastinka]

Now her family (all evil, stupid, disgusting god hating wiccans) want to sue me for discrimination and creating a hostile workplace! How is that fair? She's the one who's discriminating against me because I'm one with the LORD!
Lmao Owned.

[Corndogman]

I'm a Christian, but really I cannot stand when other Christians are complete idiots. Get edumacated about your own religion before you try to go shoving it down someones throat.

[Zeph]

I'm not talking about a simple power outage. I'm talking about enriched plutonium which comes from the conversion of uranium into WMD. It is considered the most dangerous substance known to man and absolutely will shut off the electricity present in planes. All any terrorist has to do is drop large quantities of plutonium from airplanes onto American soil and it will render electricity completely useless. And the chain reaction that will occur from the US shutting down will be global. We Americans have had the capacity to do that to our enemies for years. I had erroneoulsy thought that atheists knew that since they claim to know so much about our universe.

[Emphasis added]

But as usual, you haven't thought things through at all and are speaking from ignorance again.
O_o


Do you know what medical students are exposed to as they are learning about medicine? In one college course, students were required to "examine" other stripped down students! This is abominable. Is it worth it to go through that kind of education and ignore God's Word? Looking on nakedness is a shameful and intolerable thing. And most employment for doctors and nurses requires looking on other people's nakedness (bathing patients, giving shots, operating, examining, etc.) What will we do as people who have been bought at the very high price of the blood of God? What will be most important to us? Our careers... or our integrity as priests of God?
LOL

[Mass]

The crusades were GOOD.

:smith:

[Bastinka]

:smith:
:smithicide:

Christians joined latest and just copied off of everyone else, and then caused some trouble.

[p0lar_bear]

I read some more of those quotes, and they actually left me troubled and uneasy the whole day, questioning humanity as a whole. Only the most extreme ignorance or stupidity can leave me with that feeling, and it's exactly halfway between "carefree" and "crying in a corner while in the fetal position."

Though I'd like to use some of their common responses against them; dramatization anyone?

Fundamentalist
"Evolution is a lie and made up hurf durf"

Myself
"I've got a textbook right here on it, explains all the theories and presents proof in full detail."

Fundamentalist
"That's all made up, you're reading a bunch of lies created by so-called scientists."

Myself
"Well, have you got something that explains the creation of man and woman?"

Fundamentalist
"The Bible."

Myself
"That's all made up, you're reading a bunch of lies created by so called religious heiarchs."

[Phobias]

Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn.

Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldnt understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room and slamming the door.

What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip' and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth.

Am I too late? Or is it possible to save my son


[Note: the boy eventually took his own life. (http://www.freejesus.net/home/viewtopic.php?p=43639#43639)]



Ok, this guy needs to die.

[Pooky]

A man can have sexual pleasure from a child as young as a baby. However he should not penetrate, sodomising the child is OK. If the man penetrates and damages the child then he should be responsible for her subsistence all her life. This girl, however does not count as one of his four permanent wives. The man will not be eligible to marry the girl's sister.Wait what.

<_______________________________________________<

e:


Did you know that Di hydrogen Monoxide is being allowed into our waterways absolutely unchecked???

Corporations and industries are dumping this vile substance into our childrens drinking water, absolutely unchecked!

Did you know that Out of 5,000 biopsied cancer cells, 100% were found to contain traces of di hydrogen monoxide??

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

(from one of the Christian forums)

[n00b1n8R]

One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. [emphasis added]
YEAH, TAKE THAT SCIENCE!

[ExAm]

That has to be a prank post. Come on... Dihydrogen (H2) + Monoxide (O) = H20 = WATER MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU DRINK IT?

[ima_from_America]

It was a hoax.

[LinkandKvel]

That has to be a prank post. Come on... Dihydrogen (H2) + Monoxide (O) = H20 = WATER MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU DRINK IT?

what?

[Pooky]

It was a hoax.

Not exactly... this guy seriously thinks dihydrogen monoxide and dihydrous monoxide are the same thing <_<

[n00b1n8R]

what?
Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN! I DARE YA! I DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHA FUCKER! SAY WHAT ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME.

[Bad Waffle]

fuck dihydrogen monoxide, i drink it with plenty of alcohol, because my mommy puts rubbing alcohol on my cuts to sterilize them so to protect me from the devil's dihydrogen monoxide poison i took some of daddy's beer that he tries to hide above the oven (he started to drink when his 'secret girlfriend' died which im not supposed to tell to mommy its our secret) when i was thirsty and i didnt want poisonous clear dihydrogen oxide because that would be against gods will and im not doing anything wrong so i'm going to heaven, i hope mommy and daddy are proud

[Warsaw]

I hate stupid people.

All in agreement, say "aye".

[thehoodedsmack]

Aye. That site is awesome.

[LinkandKvel]

No Aye......they're comic relief.

[Kalub]

Aye, although without them my life would be worthless.


I suggest a Retard Farm/Zoo be constructed.

[DaneO'Roo]

Jesus christ, I had no idea of the burden I was carrying, that these people live on the same stretch of ground as me o_O

I swear, the day a large amount of these people die in some mass suicide is the day I take the biggest, most relieving, most filth expelling shit I've ever taken.

Fuck them and fuck their god.