Rob Oplawar
October 14th, 2008, 12:20 PM
So, I have no internet in my apartment until next Monday (I'm posting this from on campus). But, I paid my bills, and followed the terms of service. How could this have possibly happened?
Well, first off, when I created my Comcast account over the phone, they misspelled my name, with a D instead of a B. You wouldn't think this was such a big deal except it seems this tiny error has caused my paper bills to vanish into the ether of the fantastic US Postal Service. I thought it was a bit odd when I hadn't received a bill after my first month of service, so I decided to take care of it online. Whoops, I can't sign into my Comcast account online, because they misspelled my name! So I call customer service (cue 30 seconds of hold music looped continuously for 2 hours). They tell me, whoops, they messed up sending me the bill, and they'll send me a new one in the mail, and I can take care of it when it arrives. "Ok," I think, "that wasn't so bad. At least they're accommodating me, for once." And I forget about it for a week or so. When my bill still hasn't arrived two weeks later, I get on the phone with them again, and after a long painful process they manage to get me set up on my account online.
So I finally log into my account, and see that, what a shock, I have a bill past due. But here's where it gets good: I pay it. That's right, I paid the bill. This was over a week ago.
Today I try to get online and discover that I have no internet connection. Thinking that this is the normal modem reset shit that I go through every two weeks (for those who don't know, the modem they gave me is a piece of shit, and I have to reset all my computers, router, and modem in a specific order every two weeks or so because the modem seems to crash. I'll wager that there's a memory leak somewhere in it, or something. Fucking piece of shit)... anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, so I reset my whole network, a process that takes several minutes as I have 3 computers and a server. Then I boot my computer and try to get online, and this Comcast alert comes up telling me to activate my account.
Well, I fidgeted with that for about 10 minutes, doing everything exactly as it said, even though my account is already active, and then I get fed up and call Comcast. The only good thing in this whole story is how fast they got me on the phone with a financial rep, no holding or anything- I just called and seconds later he was on the line. But then, I suppose that makes perfect sense, as Comcast doesn't care about their service but when a payment is due, they want their fucking money. And the guy on the phone tells me this (although not in so many words). And I say, "but I paid the fucking money."
"Ah," he says, "but the transaction hasn't gone through yet."
"WTF," I say, "I paid it over a week ago!"
"Bummer," he says, "you have an outstanding payment, and as a result your service has been suspended."
"Well fuck me," I say, "you didn't give me any sort of warning about this! You could at least call me to let me know you're going to cut off that which is my oxygen, my life force."
"Well," he says, "we sometimes do that, but it's a courtesy, not a requirement."
Yep, that makes perfect sense. Comcast could be courteous to its customers, but they don't have to be, so they aren't. Now it all makes sense.
"Well, what can I do?" I ask through gritted teeth, using every ounce of self control in my body to keep from exploding on someone who is, after all, just a customer service rep and has nothing to do with the evil within Comcast.
"You can give me your name, credit card number, confirmation number, and social security number over the phone and I'll reactivate your account right now."
I'm using a cell phone, and hey, why the fuck do they need my social security number, anyway?!
"To verify that you're the person on the account, because we have here that your name is spelled with a D, not a B."
At that point I hung up, shouted every curse I knew at Comcast, and came to campus, where I just paid my bill online again, and have been informed that it will take 3-5 business days to process, which means I won't be back online until probably two weeks from now, knowing how well this shit works.
I'll be getting back on the phone with them after class today, and this time I will not hold back. I don't care if the customer service reps are innocent; they serve as the interface between me and this corporate behemoth and they put themselves in that position, so goddamnit if they aren't gonna hear a piece of my mind.
Well, first off, when I created my Comcast account over the phone, they misspelled my name, with a D instead of a B. You wouldn't think this was such a big deal except it seems this tiny error has caused my paper bills to vanish into the ether of the fantastic US Postal Service. I thought it was a bit odd when I hadn't received a bill after my first month of service, so I decided to take care of it online. Whoops, I can't sign into my Comcast account online, because they misspelled my name! So I call customer service (cue 30 seconds of hold music looped continuously for 2 hours). They tell me, whoops, they messed up sending me the bill, and they'll send me a new one in the mail, and I can take care of it when it arrives. "Ok," I think, "that wasn't so bad. At least they're accommodating me, for once." And I forget about it for a week or so. When my bill still hasn't arrived two weeks later, I get on the phone with them again, and after a long painful process they manage to get me set up on my account online.
So I finally log into my account, and see that, what a shock, I have a bill past due. But here's where it gets good: I pay it. That's right, I paid the bill. This was over a week ago.
Today I try to get online and discover that I have no internet connection. Thinking that this is the normal modem reset shit that I go through every two weeks (for those who don't know, the modem they gave me is a piece of shit, and I have to reset all my computers, router, and modem in a specific order every two weeks or so because the modem seems to crash. I'll wager that there's a memory leak somewhere in it, or something. Fucking piece of shit)... anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, so I reset my whole network, a process that takes several minutes as I have 3 computers and a server. Then I boot my computer and try to get online, and this Comcast alert comes up telling me to activate my account.
Well, I fidgeted with that for about 10 minutes, doing everything exactly as it said, even though my account is already active, and then I get fed up and call Comcast. The only good thing in this whole story is how fast they got me on the phone with a financial rep, no holding or anything- I just called and seconds later he was on the line. But then, I suppose that makes perfect sense, as Comcast doesn't care about their service but when a payment is due, they want their fucking money. And the guy on the phone tells me this (although not in so many words). And I say, "but I paid the fucking money."
"Ah," he says, "but the transaction hasn't gone through yet."
"WTF," I say, "I paid it over a week ago!"
"Bummer," he says, "you have an outstanding payment, and as a result your service has been suspended."
"Well fuck me," I say, "you didn't give me any sort of warning about this! You could at least call me to let me know you're going to cut off that which is my oxygen, my life force."
"Well," he says, "we sometimes do that, but it's a courtesy, not a requirement."
Yep, that makes perfect sense. Comcast could be courteous to its customers, but they don't have to be, so they aren't. Now it all makes sense.
"Well, what can I do?" I ask through gritted teeth, using every ounce of self control in my body to keep from exploding on someone who is, after all, just a customer service rep and has nothing to do with the evil within Comcast.
"You can give me your name, credit card number, confirmation number, and social security number over the phone and I'll reactivate your account right now."
I'm using a cell phone, and hey, why the fuck do they need my social security number, anyway?!
"To verify that you're the person on the account, because we have here that your name is spelled with a D, not a B."
At that point I hung up, shouted every curse I knew at Comcast, and came to campus, where I just paid my bill online again, and have been informed that it will take 3-5 business days to process, which means I won't be back online until probably two weeks from now, knowing how well this shit works.
I'll be getting back on the phone with them after class today, and this time I will not hold back. I don't care if the customer service reps are innocent; they serve as the interface between me and this corporate behemoth and they put themselves in that position, so goddamnit if they aren't gonna hear a piece of my mind.