looking for a serious opinion here..

[ICEE]

I would like to make this perfectly clear: if you aren't going to use appropriate seriousness on this topic, I will lock it. I don't want any bullshit, this ain't no joke.

ok, so a buddy of mine from a long time ago is going through some shit. He was my best friend from 4th grade through middle school, and we stayed pretty close through high school though he and I went to different schools. In this last year though, we've really drifted apart. Today, his mom came to me and told me that he was really depressed and lonely. Hes totally out of contact with his friends and that has only supplemented his already powerful emotions. According to his mom, he tried to commit suicide last night. She didn't give me any details. She seems to think that I can be the one to help him out of this, but I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any thoughts? I haven't seen him in about 8 months, I don't know why his mom thinks I can do it. Does anyone have any thoughts?

[Anton]

Just be his friend bro. Just talk to him, and be someone who he can rely on.

I've been in your situation before and it's hard but like I said just be there for him. Show him that you care.

[teh lag]

There's a few questions I think you should run through.

-Do you want to be the one help him? Is he someone you still feel attached enough to?

-As an extension, do you feel comfortable helping him? If you've really grown far apart, you should let his mom know that you'd feel awkward.

-Is there anyone else who can do this with you? I would discuss this with his mom, especially if you're not so comfortable with that job; it can help to have someone else working with you.

[flibitijibibo]

Ah, yes... I've been in your shoes many times...

teh lag has got the first point about right. However, it's not something you need to give extra special attention to. T1xAnton has the idea there, just be a good friend like you would normally. That's most likely all he's looking for, he probably isn't looking for like, evening news kind of attention or anything.

By being a good friend, it will remind him of ye olden times, which I'm guessing were 1337. Also, if you end up in one of those deep discussions, try not to engage too harshly. Instead of giving a direct rebuttal, make him find the answer himself. Just ask him a question that will give him the answer. Having him find out on his own will show to him that it's him figuring things out and not you.

If there's anything I missed, just ask. As a teacher, I kind of have to know this stuff >.>

[FluffyDucky™]

Mmm this is deep. Maybe you are the one that he is missing? I'm with everyone else... you need to go to him, be there for him, talk to him, try not to be awkward, would you rather not help him and risk something terrible happening or go and help him? The answer is obvious.

Yeah, tough situation but it is a very serious one, so I'd strongly urge you to go and see him. I'm guessing that you would never have thought he would do something like this? And if that is correct then it whatever is troubling him is something that really upsets him. Take caution when going to him, you don't want to add to his feelings. :(

[Apoc4lypse]

I agree with what tehlag said... but this sounds serious considering he already attempted suicide once, why his moms going to you for help is beyond me, has she even gone after any type of professional help or is she just in denial of her son trying to kill himself.

Suicide is a touchy issue, and if hes already tried to kill himself once, theres no reason he won't try it again unless he gets help.

Going to a friend is a good idea for someone whos depressed or sad, but for someone whos actually made an attempt at taking there own life is asking for a bit much out of said friend (you in this case) professional help tbh is the only way to go. Thats not to say friends can't help someone through it along with professional help.

The reason I'm saying professional help should be used is because the odds of him trying to kill himself again are pretty unknown but most likely high, and taking a gamble with his mom being able to stop him from doing it a second time is a bad idea.

It really depends to what level he actually tried to kill himself though, if it was just like "im gonna kill my self" talk, then friend help could be good along with therapy, but if he actually made a legit attempt on his own life then he needs professional help because theres no telling what he might do.

Thats just from my point of view, my advice to you is if you really care about your old friend, talk to his mom about it, try to talk to her about getting professional help (do not mention this to your friend at least not before talking to his mom it could potentially make him more insecure if hes anything like me, the mention of it will only make him more emotionally unstable, im an independent person and hate going to therapy and hate having to depend on others it makes me feel like im less...)

Its really hard to say, I've never personally been in this situation, I was forced to go to therapy once though a few years after my mom died, my dad said I wasn't crying enough... freakin idiot.

The thing you should be worried about is, to what degree did he try to hurt himself, find out if its serious, his mom could be denying the truth that her son needs professional help, this is why you should find out how serious it is.

To be honest though I'm not even sure I'd want to ask the mom about what happened, you could talk to your parents for advice?

Really though the only advice I suggest you actually take here is to not look to this forum for these type of answers... Talk to someone who knows what there doing (therapist or someone else a professional idk) or your Parents or his Mom.

disclaimer: I will not be held responsible for any actions you take.

Thats why I suggest looking elsewhere, you might end up following advice thats bad, and who knows what else could happen.

[ICEE]

Ah, yes... I've been in your shoes many times...

teh lag has got the first point about right. However, it's not something you need to give extra special attention to. T1xAnton has the idea there, just be a good friend like you would normally. That's most likely all he's looking for, he probably isn't looking for like, evening news kind of attention or anything.

By being a good friend, it will remind him of ye olden times, which I'm guessing were 1337. Also, if you end up in one of those deep discussions, try not to engage too harshly. Instead of giving a direct rebuttal, make him find the answer himself. Just ask him a question that will give him the answer. Having him find out on his own will show to him that it's him figuring things out and not you.

If there's anything I missed, just ask. As a teacher, I kind of have to know this stuff >.>

Thanks shadow, that actually does help me out. I never thought of helping him think of the answers himself.. I think I can help him. he is a really good friend, and though we don't talk much anymore, when we do its still the same as it used to be. Thanks guys for giving me some reinforcement here. I won't let my bud destroy himself.
thanks, topic locked because I don't want to go around this same thoughts over and over. <3 guys

E: yeah I don't understand his mother either. never have. Its like she's spent her entire life in menopause.
I'll rep you guys who were kind enough to help me out. I have to wait 24 hours before i can rep ducky and apocalypse though, but yours is commin