Plans to Take Over the World

[English Mobster]

Step 1: Get into politics and manage to be elected to the U.S. Senate.
Step 2: Prove you have leadership abilities in the Senate, and then run for President.
Step 3: Make false promises and lie about a new future to get elected. Give the people what they want.
Step 4: Get into a costly war and provoke the enemy into attacking us.
Step 5: Initiate the U.S. Patriot act or something similar, granting the President emergency powers during a crisis. Say you will put down your power at war's end.
Step 6: Begin to exercise your newfound powers for good, at first.
Step 7: Declare a special session of Congress and announce, that, for the good of the U.S.A., you must become the first Emperor-for-life of the United States.
Step 8: Launch multiple satellites which operate similar to the "Hammer of Dawn" from Gears of War 1 and 2.
Step 9: Launch nukes at Mexico. Say they had Nuclear Weapons.
Step 10: Using any allied forces which come to aid you, take over Mexico and make it part of the United States.
Step 11: Resign from the United Nations.
Step 12: Nuke anyone who retaliates. No saving throw, no account for civilian lives.
Step 13: With the world cowering in fear, take over other Second-to-Third World Countries which cannot retaliate.
Step 14: Approach the biggest threat to the U.S., and use stealth fighters to determine key targets.
Step 15: Whip out those laser satellites and obliterate those fuckers when they least expect it. Take out any nuclear launch facilities.
Step 16: Take over that country, and systematically take over anyone who launches attacks in the same manner.
Step 17: Stab your allies in the back and annex their lands.

Congrats, you have now taken over the world. Time to kill all the Jews.

How would you take over the world?

[Bodzilla]

Ally with the dolphins.

the day of reckoning will come

[Rob Oplawar]

http://www.bungie.net/images/inside/thefullplan.gif

Oh come on, how could I resist such an obvious set-up?

[nooBBooze]

1. Eradaticate modern civilization
2. Keep a few, random people alive
3. Start over from scratch

World's just too fucked up/governed by way too powerfull invisible forces for anything else tbh :tinfoil:

[Pyong Kawaguchi]

ahem
Get €100,000,000,000
Buy any companies worth buying *like nuke companies :P*
Nuke russia
Nuke China & japan
Get my own Vault Tech Vault
Get my peeps inside it
Nuke everything else
Get robots to remove the radiation
Get a Death Note
Control the world as Kira
???
PROFIT!
e: fixed

[dark57]

OK heres mine i have been working on it since i was 6 :)

1. Become Governor of Alaska.
2.Declare Alaska an independent nation you as its ruler.
3.one day launch a sneak attack on Canada with the Alaska army and waves of Eskimo warriors.
4. after the first day Canada surrenders and is now part of Alaska.
5. swim to Russia from Alaska (lol jk use a boat).
6. In Russia gain the support of the people by promising a new and improved soviet union.
7. start a secret army with some of you supporters.
8. after you work your way into the government kill all of the government leaders.
9. make Alaska part of the new soviet union (same government as the independent Alaska).
10. get all of Russia's nukes ready In case of an emergency.
11. Gain china, Iraq, Iran, Cuba,and some south American and African countries as your allies. (preferably the stronger ones.)
12. Launch a mission to the moon were you set up nuke launching facilities and AA missiles In case of other space shuttles.
13. give your Allys what they want.
14. Push U.S. into a war.
15 get your south American Allys and Cuba to back you up (put down all opposer's secretly[assassinations]).
16. when U.S. declares war you invade from the top from Canada south Americans and Cuba attack from the south. (Cuba can use there missiles)
17. after a week in the war you tell your Allys to back out and your troops back out to.
18. that same day as soon as all troops are out threaten us with an attack on the white house and they have to surrender the entire west coast if you want them to call off the attack.
19. If they refuse at that moment launch nukes from moon base to Washington dc. If they accept invade again (with your Allys to back you up) and take over us (keep moon base a secret)
20. Now you have the us wait a while and gain the citizens that live there trust. repopulate from war losses.
21. try to get support from Mexico and other south American countries (central too) invade/attack the ones who refuse and take them over.
22. now you need the support from the middle east give them what they want. After about 2 years the ones who refuse get invaded an taken over.
23. now with your African, middle eastern, and china invade and try to take over Europe (don't invade UK) if fail threaten unncored nation with nuke base. If you succeed threaten the UK to surrender there land with your nuke base on the moon.
23. if they refuse (for both fail and succeed) launch nukes.
24. Recover from war.
25. now make your African Allys a proposition they can refuse it is that you'll help them take over other nations that aren't your Allys.there make all African nations fight each other make them weaker and back out.
26. gain trust of Australia. If they refuse take over how ever you wan to.
27. take over green land.
28. now there is a gap of nations under Russia and in between middle east and china take them over or gain them as your Allys.
28. invade all islands under Asia except for Australia and japan use them to help you invade.
29. take over japan.
30. try to get all your Allys to become part of your nation peacefully.
31. ones that refuse nuke time (threaten first)
32. now all thats left is north and south Korea and Africa. there screwed do what ever you want with Korea's and since you have weakened Africa take them over swiftly.

be aware this isn't a full Prof plan I'm still fixing it up here and there.

(also if i messed up on the numbers some were please ignore it I'm not going to fix it :D)

[Heathen]

My 3 step Plan.


1. Take over the World.
2. ???
3. PROFIT

[dark57]

Dam that one is good.

[DarkHalo003]

1. Become President.
2. Build several Hydrogen bombs.
3. Secretly fire these bad boys at all of the countries with nukes.
4. Use your normal nukes to finish off the other countries with nukes.
5. Find Atlantis.
6. Ally yourself with creatures of the sea.
7. Take over/ally with Australia.
8. Assimilate China. Then sterilize them so they don't assimilate back.
9. Blame everything that's happened on Global Warming.
10. Clone Chuck Norris.
11. What? You could have just cloned Chuck Norris to begin with and won. Why so many steps?

How to take over the world in 10 or 1 steps.

[Rentafence]

OK heres mine i have been working on it since i was 6 :)

1. Become Governor of Alaska.
2.Declare Alaska an independent nation you as its ruler.

Your plan is foiled here.

[deathret]

Most of your "original" ideas come from books or movies....

However, some of the best ideas come from Pinky and the Brain.

http://cenriqueortiz.com/images/pinky_brain.jpg

[dark57]

Alaska can totally take Canada.

[Bodzilla]

ahem
Get $100,000,000
Buy any companies worth buying *like nuke companies :P*
Nuke russia
Nuke China & japan
Get my own Vault Tech Vault
Get my peeps inside it
Nuke everything else
Get robots to remove the radiation
Get a Death Note
Control the world as Kira
???
PROFIT!
your gunna need about another six 0's

[Phopojijo]

Nah, 100,000,000$ could buy... uh... Yahoo?

[Boba]

1. Befriend the 'outcasts' of society; the people that are not necessarily the 'cool kids'.

2. Teach these people to hate, and to discriminate. Let these values root and spread through the nation.

3. Gradually enter into politics, playing the 'good side' but keeping the main values of the group to ourselves.

4. Start a paramilitary group in the deep south of America, with several satellite posts throughout the country, allowing our strength as a force to grow.

5. Appeal to the misguided atheists eager to 'take a jab' at christianity; give them a reason to join the party.

6. Wait for a time of depression (Such as right now) and appeal to the unemployed; they will give us strong leverage for a push into politics.

7. Gradually rise up into politics and hope to reach the position of president.

8. Once president, create a section of government that outsources to radical religious groups to begin a "cleansing" of the untalented, unintelligent, and useless people from the country. Use the radical religious group as a scapegoat for the genocide. Declare martial law and demand closure of the Supreme Court and the Legislature. Create laws allowing constant monitoring and allow jailing and torture for even any sign of treason. Kill those who are incarcerated.

9. Upscale the military dramatically; reorganize the now-standard high-tech equipment into 'elite' branches of the military, and produce brutally efficient and cheap vehicles and weapons for shock troops.

10. Move some troops into the Alaskan border, then on two fronts forcefully annex Canada.

11. Amass forces on Mexican border, then blitzkreig to Mexico city, and destroy the heart of mexico, effectively destroying the country's infrastructure.

12. Imprison and torture any person that poses any threat what-so-ever, then establish concentration camps to handle the threat. (In the occupied territories)

13. Increase the size of the navy.

14. Launch conquest of Cuba, and wait for the imminent hostilities from Russia.

15. Send in stealth bombers to attack targets in central america, and gradually push forces into the countries, eradicating any resistance.

16. Continue pushing until the bulk of South America is under the control of the American Empire.

17. All of this time, spread our values and gain support in the occupied territories, gaining manpower and endurance.

18. Quickly make Missle Silos and fortifications along the shores of the American Empire, and prepare for the imminent UN counteroffensive.

That's all I've come up with so far.

[Phopojijo]

Plans to take over the world...

Don't.

It's not worth the effort.

There's much easier and more rewarding things to do with your time.

[ICEE]

I'd rather take over the moon. Theres no damn political extremists to fuck it up for me.

[Phopojijo]

I'd rather take over the moon. Theres no damn political extremists to fuck it up for me.I hear the man in the moon has a dark side though...

[Sel]

I hear the man in the moon has a dark side though...

And a hidden nazi base established in the 40s :tinfoil:

[ICEE]

I hear the man in the moon has a dark side though...
Well thats why I take over. Show his butt who's in charge. then I begin the constant battle to stay out of the darkside of the moon. But hey, at least theirs no damn DMV.

[Bodzilla]

I hear the man in the moon has a dark side though...
rofl.

thats the driest humor i've heard in a long time phopo.
take a bow :)

[dark57]

I hear the man in the moon has a dark side though...

dark side is mine thats were my nukes are :)

[DarkHalo003]

I got one:
1.Let Bungie Take Over The World.
2.Apply and join Bungie.

[Rob Oplawar]

That's the wrong order.
You have to get hired by Bungie, and then help them achieve world domination. Evil geniuses appreciate a good minion who helps them succeed in their devious plot; they despise the groveling suck-ups that beg for compassion after the devious plot is near fruition.

Then again, Bungie's already on the final step; it's pretty much too late to join them. What has to happen is this: you will encounter Bungie in a chance meeting, and an epic battle will ensue. When Bungie has defeated you and holds you at its mercy, it will either recognize your skill and put you to work in its Seattle dungeon, or it will put you out of your misery.

[DarkHalo003]

That's the wrong order.
You have to get hired by bungie, and then help them achieve world domination. Evil geniuses appreciate a good minion who helps them succeed in their devious plot; they despise the groveling suck-ups that beg for compassion after the devious plot is in motion.
Ah good point. Let me fix that:
1. Apply and Join Bungie.
2. Help Bungie Take Over the World.
3. Ask for promotion as a ninja. :saggy:

[Mr Buckshot]

1. Use some genius science to engineer a totally new type of virus.
2. Engineer a way to inoculate myself and a private army against the virus.
3. Unleash the virus on the world.
4. Wait a while, let everyone die. Some rare people will already possess an immunity towards the virus due to natural gene mutations (i.e. Will Smith's character in I am Legend) so that's where my inoculated private army comes in.
5. Congratulations, the world is mine for the taking and at least no buildings were destroyed because I want to have all the cool man-made locations at my control.

[klange]

Mudkipz's plan reminds me a lot of Emperor Palpatine...

[Warsaw]

1. Create a centralist party (slightly left leaning since a majority in this country are democrats) based on a broad platform like the main two are, while denouncing the same as old, ineffectual, and obsolete, all the while promising change to the government and a greater focus on US interests (since people are tired of us meddling in the world, we will give them what they want).
2. Gain support in the House first.
3. Gain support in the Senate.
5. Get a Party member elected President.
6. Arrange "accidents" for the Supreme Court Justices. Replace them with Party supporters. Majority in Senate guarantees approval.
7. Arrange terrorist attacks from Mexico.
8. Retaliate and annex Mexico
9. Make motions to Canada using the economy to bring us closer together.
10. Make motions to the EU for greater union.
11. Join the Commonwealth (US is a former British colony, after all)
12.Adopt Euro.
13. EU will become something bigger.
14. By now (we're now about 50 years ahead), we have a union and denationalisation occuring. Consider Europe and North America as one.
15. Wait for Chinese slip up.
16. Nuke China.
17. Russia stands alone and is forced to join for lack of alternatives.
18. Nuke South America since it is broken beyond repair. Except Brazil. We like Brazil.
19. We now have Earth instead of a collective of independent nations.

[Rob Oplawar]

Oh, I forgot to post my real plan.

*spends many minutes typing it up*

Wait a minute, I'm not telling you my plan! But Snaf knows what it is. If you really want to know, ask him.

e: I can't resist. The gist of it is, Skynet. Actually, it's more of a learning, self-modifying super-virus. I'm not even kidding about this; I've been thinking about the architecture for a couple of years now, and I'm probably going to start writing code for it in a year or two. You think I'm all talk, but I'm not. I have a plan, I have an architecture, and I think it will work. I can't really establish myself as world leader this way, but as I consider all my programs to be my childrens, I would be the father of the destruction of Earth. Muahahahahaha!

[Heathen]

Befriend the hidden species of underground mutants.
Convince them that the humans are planning on eradicating them.
Convince them I am a spy for them and that I was born from mutant parents.
Fake a phony prophecy for a chosen one.
Assume the position of said chosen one.
Arm them with weapons and their own natural diseases that we haven't been exposed to.
Lead them well into victory and slaughter a few humans on teh way.
Use the bodies of many humans to make a pile in place of the statue of liberty's flame on her torch.
Take Lincoln's Chair and use it as a throne upon my pile of death and rule with an iron fist.