An Inquisition

[Heathen]

So, a mate and I have been tossing around a thought. Okay so bear with me while I set the scene for this elaborate little trip.
So you build a time machine with blueprints you received from your future self and are ready to fire it up for the first time. Your mind is flooded with ideas for what to do when you get there. Your first stop has been determined for you however.
Your first stop is to go to 880 B.C. to steal the blueprints for the time machine from Hitler. His robot army is charging and he is asleep with his lover Mel Gibson (he is still a woman at this point...pre op.)
Stealing the blueprints is cake because Hitler sleeps like an angry racist.
You go back through time and give yourself the blueprints and explain the duties you must uphold.

Now the future and past are ALL yours.

What you then decide to do, is go on a rapespree through time, naturally.

The question that we were posed is, if given the chance, would you get with Helen Keller?

before you say no, look at this picture and decide again.
http://www.firsttvdrama.com/show2/history/helen1.jpg

Please, your opinion will either win or lose me a very long standing argument.

[Huero]

oh god yeah
instantly

[LlamaMaster]

Oh...man...I gotta think about this man.

Edit: Fan-fucking-tastic post below me!

[Huero]

it's fucking helen keller
she's deaf and blind, she wont be able to tell
clearly deaf people cant feel anything god you learned this in elementary

[.::Sim::.]

Yea I would. And then go shoot my future self.

[ICEE]

Nay, is my answer here my good man. I'd be quite worried that the unintelligible sounds she would utter could alert a local constable of some sort. For you see if I heard anything that sounds close to hellen keller screaming rape I would probably run to it immediately, assuming it was some sort of beast, and slay it with a pitchfork.

[Heathen]

Nay, is my answer here my good man. I'd be quite worried that the unintelligible sounds she would utter could alert a local constable of some sort. For you see if I heard anything that sounds close to hellen keller screaming rape I would probably run to it immediately, assuming it was some sort of beast, and slay it with a pitchfork.
Well damn, never thought of that.

[.::Sim::.]

Well I meant yes for the time travel. As for Hellen Keller, I'd tap that...

[jcap]

Well technically, you wouldn't have a choice in anything. Because the future was already written, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change it, because that "change" would already be reflected in the future. So, if you were to go back, you would still, in the future, be in a crisis where you would be telling your present self to go back and then in the future...

Ugh.

Also, time travel will never be possible because of the reasons stated above. Any change would have already happened to the present, so there would be no way for any time travel to happen in the present.

:buzzkill:

[Heathen]

Well I meant yes for the time travel. As for Hellen Keller, I'd tap that...
See, that's a thing you have to think about.
Its time travel. If you think its morally wrong, do it, then go back and stop your self from doing it.

[Heathen]

Well technically, you wouldn't have a choice in anything. Because the future was already written, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change it, because that "change" would already be reflected in the future. So, if you were to go back, you would still, in the future, be in a crisis where you would be telling your present self to go back and then in the future...

Ugh.
but that's another thing.

After you give yourself the blueprints, the you in this instance is free to do what you want. You aren't part of the infinite loop. It will have been written in time that you give yourself the blueprints, but you need to get them to go back and give them to yourself somehow. The rest is up to you.

The "written in stone" theory is still feasible because what if its written in stone that you will go back and give yourself the blueprints that you stole from Hitler after you got the blueprints from you future self who stole it too.

You gotta have a grasp of temporal metaphysics.
Or be batshit crazy like me.

[rossmum]

See, that's a thing you have to think about.
Its time travel. If you think its morally wrong, do it, then go back and stop your self from doing it.
Yeah, but you still did it. Even if you go back and stop yourself, it's been done.

On a side note, wow, she looks nothing like I expected :aaaaa:

[Heathen]

Yeah, but you still did it. Even if you go back and stop yourself, it's been done.

On a side note, wow, she looks nothing like I expected :aaaaa:
Right, you still did it and you will keep doing it in a loop through time, but in that timeline, you didn't do it. However, you still experienced it.

[ICEE]

Yeah, but you still did it. Even if you go back and stop yourself, it's been done.

On a side note, wow, she looks nothing like I expected :aaaaa:

You go back and stop yourself from ever using the time machine at all.

[Heathen]

You go back and stop yourself from ever using the time machine at all.
But if you do that, you wouldn't be able to go back and have a threesome with you, you, and Helen Keller. And if you do this repeatedly, you can get some bukakke action.

[ICEE]

ah heathen... ever the linear thinker...

You go back in time for helen keller, then forward in time to just before you went back in time, get the you from then, spit roast hellen keller, then take her home (or not i dont give a fuck :hardcore: ) and go back to stop yourself from ever using the time machine.

[LlamaMaster]

All of these theories relate to a single linear time plane. According to some modern theories, time as it has always existed continues to exist in the same space. Although you made phase into another time sector of the same universal space, it doesn't mean that your physical body remains in the previous time period. Your entity could transfer between "time particles" freely without necessarily leaving a duplicate of your physical body.

[jcap]

You go back and stop yourself from ever using the time machine at all.
Yeah, that's what I was trying to get at.

If you change the past, then the present would no longer exist where you would go back and change the past. Same can be said with relation to the future meeting the present.

[TVTyrant]

You cant rape Helen Keller. Shes an alien dude. In fact, she is what spawns Hitler's female form back in BC times. After having it's first taste of human food, the horrendous beast shit out Hitler from its backside. It hid as Helen Keller in the early-mid 1900s, until its eventual defeat at the hands of Kaiser Wilhelm, who had retired in order to search down the beast and kill it.

FFS, I thought everyone knew that :smug:

[ICEE]

Yeah, that's what I was trying to get at.

If you change the past, then the present would no longer exist where you would go back and change the past. Same can be said with relation to the future meeting the present.

I'm not being serious. at all. really

[Heathen]

You cant rape Helen Keller. Shes an alien dude. In fact, she is what spawns Hitler's female form back in BC times. After having it's first taste of human food, the horrendous beast shit out Hitler from its backside. It hid as Helen Keller in the early-mid 1900s, until its eventual defeat at the hands of Kaiser Wilhelm, who had retired in order to search down the beast and kill it.

FFS, I thought everyone knew that :smug:
Duly Noted.

And you guys are missing the point.

The you that is performing these deeds, will not experience the infinite loops. Think of the jumps in time as many rooms.
You go in one room, and rob hitler, you go to another and bang keller. As you leave the room with hitler, another you enters and robs hitler, then heads off to bang keller. You keep going forward, while they will also.

BUT, if you go back to one of those rooms and stop one from banging keller, you still have, but he hasn't. He may or may not advance to do whatever you do next. You, however, still having bung keller, continue on doing whatever it was you wanted to do.

[ICEE]

thats coo... as long as we don't do the dragon ball z thing. "oh sure the androids never existed in the future now but the damage they did still did"

[rossmum]

Duly Noted.

And you guys are missing the point.

The you that is performing these deeds, will not experience the infinite loops. Think of the jumps in time as many rooms.
You go in one room, and rob hitler, you go to another and bang keller. As you leave the room with hitler, another you enters and robs hitler, then heads off to bang keller. You keep going forward, while they will also.

BUT, if you go back to one of those rooms and stop one from banging keller, you still have, but he hasn't. He may or may not advance to do whatever you do next. You, however, still having bung keller, continue on doing whatever it was you wanted to do.
fucking hell my brain

time to raid the panadol~

[Heathen]

So who's next guys?
Become the father of Christ?
Immaculate conception my ass!
There was some macking going on.

Think about it, if you were going on a rapespree through time, who better than the most famous virgin ever?

Or maybe something different.

What about the Mona Lisa?
Wanna know why she is smiling funny?
Same reason she is walking funny.
Me.


After Keller, the posibilities are endless.

[RecycleBin]

:ehhh: This is so many kinds of wrong.
But I would.........

[ExAm]

I'll only do it with a girl who's into it, so no.

[Heathen]

I'll only do it with a girl who's into it, so no.
How do you know she isn't?

[klange]

...


what


the


fuck?

[Maniac]

If you are talking about using a "device/machine" to do the time travel then you should be aware that said device needs a transmitter and receiver. The receiver would need to be in place, in the past in order to "receive" the traveler. You can only travel back in time to the point when this receiver is functioning.

[Limited]

Why the hell you all thinking about past? I'd go into future, check if theres teleportation/hoverboards all that cool shit. If not I blow up the world, or more easily shoot myself.

[Heathen]

Why the hell you all thinking about past? I'd go into future, check if theres teleportation/hoverboards all that cool shit. If not I blow up the world, or more easily shoot myself.
You cant fuck a hoverboard >.>

[LlamaMaster]

I could think of a way.

[SnaFuBAR]

i would go back in time to before you made this shitty thread and shoot you in the back of the head to make sure it never happened :|

[Heathen]

well played. I'd go back in time and take your ammo.

[Pooky]

Inquisition over, you're all heretics.

http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/7104/chooseyournextwordscare.png


BLAM!

[Limited]

You cant fuck a hoverboard >.>
I forgot to add the hoverboard would have velcro on it, so you could velcro a blow up doll onto it.

In terms of thread, never heard of the girl, whys she famous?

[Heathen]

I forgot to add the hoverboard would have velcro on it, so you could velcro a blow up doll onto it.

In terms of thread, never heard of the girl, whys she famous?
She was a deaf, blind girl who learned to speak with the help of a talented teacher.

Google the Miracle Worker.

[Corndogman]

Science, with Heathen.


You cant fuck a hoverboard >.>

This has been Science with Heathen.

Anyways, I might bang Marilyn Monroe, but before she started banging all those dudes like Charlton Heston.

[blind]

i'd go back in time and then kill heathen's dad
o wait then that would result in a time paradox cuz i would be dead before i killed him :confused2::eek::rolleyes::D:cool:;)

[Heathen]

i'd go back in time and then kill heathen's dad
o wait then that would result in a time paradox cuz i would be dead before i killed him :confused2::eek::rolleyes::D:cool:;)
You got it all wrong brooo.

Besides, I am my own grandfather. !

[RecycleBin]

I'd go back in time and prevent the brainwashed aliens from giving us a depressed feeling. :giggle:

[Heathen]

I'd go back in time and prevent the brainwashed aliens from giving us a depressed feeling. :giggle:
it would be unwise to upset Xenu.

[RecycleBin]

it would be unwise to upset Xenu.


True.

And why would you lie and say the girl in the pic was Helen Keller? It's Patty Duke.

WHAT MAKES YOU LIE!?

[Heathen]

True.

And why would you lie and say the girl in the pic was Helen Keller? It's Patty Duke.

WHAT MAKES YOU LIE!?
ITS THE SAME FUCKING THING.

[Huero]

no, helen keller was almost as ugly as ayn rand

[Huero]

ayn rand died a virgin, just to put that in perspective

[Atty]

Why is this thread still alive?