Rob Oplawar
September 3rd, 2009, 10:24 PM
You've gotta do them yourself.
I wish I had taken pictures of the process, but this project sort of grew organically from a quick touch-up paint job to a full blown repair, so you'll have to make do with my step-by-step guide:
How to repair a water-damaged window frame when your landlady is too cheap and/or lazy to do it properly:
(written in the first person for helpful relatability)
Oh gee, there are scuff-marks all over the walls of my room in my new townhome. My landlady told me she would be repainting. Oh well, she left some paint in the laundry room. Better get to it.
Curses, the paint she gave me is a different shade of white! (That, or this paint is dirtier than I thought. Ew.) I guess I'll have to repaint the whole room.
Sigh, the paint is all cracked around the window frame, too. I guess I'm repainting there as well.
Drat, a little piece of caulk is coming off near the base of the frame in the corner here. I'll just peel that off a bit...
OH GOD DAMMIT there goes a ten-inch length of caulk and several square inches of paint! And the rest of the paint on the frame is in similar condition... I guess I'll have to remove it all before repainting.
Hm, this paint scraper isn't working very well, it... oh, there it goes. Oh wait, that didn't just get paint, that got a big chuck of plaster. Wait, the plaster's damaged too?! Fuck.
Ok, well, I'll just remove all the plaster. Now that that's done,
Well that explains it, the drywall underneath here is black from water damage. Fuck my life.
Ok, so the corners of the drywall were so water damaged that they were repaired... with caulk. I'll just remove the caulk...
FUCKING CUNT SHIT DICK PISS COCK ASSMONKEY. You do not repair damaged drywall by filling the hole with caulk! It took me three fucking hours to scrape all that shit out of there!
Great, now the drywall is all scraped and cut and bruised and uneven. Half an hour of cutting and sanding without a mask... maybe that's why my cough is so bad right now.
Ok, all the damaged shit is removed. Four days have passed, and my window frame is full of holes, half of which were made by me. Now for the actual repair.
Mask the window and sill with plastic. Probably won't be fun to clean paint and shit off of it later.
Patch the holes with mesh: Hey, I'm pretty good at this! All holes patched.
Cover that shit up with plaster. Kickass, I'm so good. Wait 24 hours for it to dry, and...
Cock monkeys! The plaster is all cracked to hell! God dammit, I put it on too thick. Fuck my life. Scrape, sand, reapply, wait 24 hours, and...
You're fucking kidding me, still there are cracks? Well, at least these don't look like they'll cause any problems. Sand it down, and, on to:
Caulk! Who needs to read instructions. Ok, the gap between the windowsill and the metal frame is about 3/16 of an inch, so I'll open up this caulk tube at 1/4 inch and lay it on heavy. Hey, that's pretty cool, a quarter-inch thick rope of caulk all along the sill (wow, the innuendo here is amazing). Now, I press it in and smooth it out with a damp rag...
FUCK SHIT FUCK THERE'S CAULK EVERYWHERE! WHY AREN'T THERE INSTRUCTIONS ON THIS THING?! Oh, there they are. Ok, caulk cleaned up, starting over. Lay it down in a thin line, press it in where necessary, but mostly just smooth out, using one finger.
Shit, that still made a mess of things. How is it even possible to apply caulk without making a huge white mess? (Oh come on, grow up you guys). Well, it's mostly applied right, and the mess is mostly contained. Next!
Primer! Ok, the window frame is all primed, and... wait, fuck, that doesn't look right... Oh god dammit, I forgot the texture! Sigh.
Ok, spray-on knockdown drywall texture. Sounds simple enough. Who needs directions. Spray away!
Fucking fuck shit fuck fuck. Who the fuck invented this shit? This isn't working at all! Oh, hey, directions. Shake can vigorously for 60 seconds before use. Oh... Spray in circular motion, covering but not completely coating the whole surface. Wait approx. 2 minutes, then lightly knock down to desired texture with putty knife. Always practice on cardboard first. Probably should have done that first...
Ok, that texture looks pretty damn nice now. Now it's time for the primer! Hell yeah, that primer went on much better with the texture there. Wait an hour for it to dry...
Haha! Fooled you! I ain't done yet! Still waiting for the primer to dry. In twenty minutes I shall paint with waterproof paint so this problem doesn't crop up again, and then in an hour or so when it's mostly dry I will post a pic or two of the aftermath.
I wish I had taken pictures of the process, but this project sort of grew organically from a quick touch-up paint job to a full blown repair, so you'll have to make do with my step-by-step guide:
How to repair a water-damaged window frame when your landlady is too cheap and/or lazy to do it properly:
(written in the first person for helpful relatability)
Oh gee, there are scuff-marks all over the walls of my room in my new townhome. My landlady told me she would be repainting. Oh well, she left some paint in the laundry room. Better get to it.
Curses, the paint she gave me is a different shade of white! (That, or this paint is dirtier than I thought. Ew.) I guess I'll have to repaint the whole room.
Sigh, the paint is all cracked around the window frame, too. I guess I'm repainting there as well.
Drat, a little piece of caulk is coming off near the base of the frame in the corner here. I'll just peel that off a bit...
OH GOD DAMMIT there goes a ten-inch length of caulk and several square inches of paint! And the rest of the paint on the frame is in similar condition... I guess I'll have to remove it all before repainting.
Hm, this paint scraper isn't working very well, it... oh, there it goes. Oh wait, that didn't just get paint, that got a big chuck of plaster. Wait, the plaster's damaged too?! Fuck.
Ok, well, I'll just remove all the plaster. Now that that's done,
Well that explains it, the drywall underneath here is black from water damage. Fuck my life.
Ok, so the corners of the drywall were so water damaged that they were repaired... with caulk. I'll just remove the caulk...
FUCKING CUNT SHIT DICK PISS COCK ASSMONKEY. You do not repair damaged drywall by filling the hole with caulk! It took me three fucking hours to scrape all that shit out of there!
Great, now the drywall is all scraped and cut and bruised and uneven. Half an hour of cutting and sanding without a mask... maybe that's why my cough is so bad right now.
Ok, all the damaged shit is removed. Four days have passed, and my window frame is full of holes, half of which were made by me. Now for the actual repair.
Mask the window and sill with plastic. Probably won't be fun to clean paint and shit off of it later.
Patch the holes with mesh: Hey, I'm pretty good at this! All holes patched.
Cover that shit up with plaster. Kickass, I'm so good. Wait 24 hours for it to dry, and...
Cock monkeys! The plaster is all cracked to hell! God dammit, I put it on too thick. Fuck my life. Scrape, sand, reapply, wait 24 hours, and...
You're fucking kidding me, still there are cracks? Well, at least these don't look like they'll cause any problems. Sand it down, and, on to:
Caulk! Who needs to read instructions. Ok, the gap between the windowsill and the metal frame is about 3/16 of an inch, so I'll open up this caulk tube at 1/4 inch and lay it on heavy. Hey, that's pretty cool, a quarter-inch thick rope of caulk all along the sill (wow, the innuendo here is amazing). Now, I press it in and smooth it out with a damp rag...
FUCK SHIT FUCK THERE'S CAULK EVERYWHERE! WHY AREN'T THERE INSTRUCTIONS ON THIS THING?! Oh, there they are. Ok, caulk cleaned up, starting over. Lay it down in a thin line, press it in where necessary, but mostly just smooth out, using one finger.
Shit, that still made a mess of things. How is it even possible to apply caulk without making a huge white mess? (Oh come on, grow up you guys). Well, it's mostly applied right, and the mess is mostly contained. Next!
Primer! Ok, the window frame is all primed, and... wait, fuck, that doesn't look right... Oh god dammit, I forgot the texture! Sigh.
Ok, spray-on knockdown drywall texture. Sounds simple enough. Who needs directions. Spray away!
Fucking fuck shit fuck fuck. Who the fuck invented this shit? This isn't working at all! Oh, hey, directions. Shake can vigorously for 60 seconds before use. Oh... Spray in circular motion, covering but not completely coating the whole surface. Wait approx. 2 minutes, then lightly knock down to desired texture with putty knife. Always practice on cardboard first. Probably should have done that first...
Ok, that texture looks pretty damn nice now. Now it's time for the primer! Hell yeah, that primer went on much better with the texture there. Wait an hour for it to dry...
Haha! Fooled you! I ain't done yet! Still waiting for the primer to dry. In twenty minutes I shall paint with waterproof paint so this problem doesn't crop up again, and then in an hour or so when it's mostly dry I will post a pic or two of the aftermath.