Samus porn and Prime series shitflinging, we have it all!

[n00b1n8R]

Woo birthday thread for something we all care about :iamafag:
One day I might even beat one of those fucking games.

[nuttyyayap]

I still haven't finished a single one :saddowns:

[Arteen]

Of all the Metroid games I own (Super, Fusion, Zero Mission, Prime, Echoes, Corruption, Other M), the only one I've beaten just once is Other M, what with it being terrible. I've probably completed Prime at least eight times.

[Spartan094]

The only two Metroid games I do not own is Corruption and Other M. I have had beaten Fusion about 50 times over the day I got it and Prime and Echoes like 20 times. Fun days

[Donut]

iv played pretty much all of them but hunters on the DS and the one right after the very first one. iv beaten the prime trilogy, fusion, and other m. im pretty far through super metroid too.
E: prime 1 is still my favorite. was sad that prime 3 deviated from prime 1 and 2's weapon system. i love the missile combos. fucking sonic boom ftw

[ejburke]

Super Metroid is the only one I beat legitimately and is one of my favorite games ever. Actually, I may have beaten Metroid once without the Justin Bailey code. Or maybe I watched a playthrough. Can't remember.

I got to the last boss in Prime, didn't even try to fight it. I just turned the game off and never bothered finishing it. Weeks later, I tried to go back, but I had trouble reacquiring my feel for the controls and I didn't even get back into the boss room before I turned it off again.

I liked the game well enough. The early parts were really good. But late in the game, the world was just so tedious to navigate and backtrack through and the color-coding everywhere was just bullshit. The boss fights were certainly not what I was there for, so already having long-since experienced the enjoyable parts, I had had my fill.

Metroid, like Mario and Zelda, will never be as good in 3D as they were/are in 2D for me.

[TeeKup]

I honestly thought Other M was great. Felt like a throw back to Super Metroid to me. The Prime Trilogy will be among my favorites, along with Fusion.

[Bodzilla]

Never played a metroid game.

i was too busy playing good games

[Amit]

^ Pooky ain't gonna like to hear that.

[Arteen]

Never played a metroid game.

i was too busy playing good games

You should busy yourself with playing great games.

[TeeKup]

Never played a metroid game.

i was too busy playing good games


...Excuse me?

[n00b1n8R]

Come on Zilla, Metroid has made more of a lasting contribution to the porn industry than any other series :S

[Bodzilla]

this is true.

[Phobias]

guys, stfu. Metroid had great music.

[Bodzilla]

so did mario and tetris~

[n00b1n8R]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_66U5odQc2jU/TMMxN8oSO9I/AAAAAAAAAyI/IDdEE1LlTQg/s1600/zero%20suit%20samus%20ecchi.jpg

Don't say you wouldn't, your mum didn't raise you a liar.

[annihilation]

I thought we were trying to get him to like the game, not furiously masturbate to it.
Although they kind go hand in hand

[TeeKup]

NO Get that shit out of here....

[PlasbianX]

NO Get that shit out of here....

Most of us here prefer the vag to dicks, kthanx.


Ive played every metroid game but other M (have it, but the wii is in my sisters room; no man's land.) and honestly id LOVE to see a Metroid Fusion part 2.

[TeeKup]

Most of us here prefer the vag to dicks, kthanx.

That's not samus aran, that's some nerds anime fantasy bullshit.

http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/9261/wsmetroidprimesamusaran.jpg

^ That is Samus Aran.

[cheezdue]

I thought we were trying to get him to like the game, not furiously masturbate to it.
Although they kind go hand in hand

Took me a while to get it. Also, Teekup's picture of Samus looks more attractive imo.

[CN3089]

Never played a metroid game.

i was too busy playing good games

Metroid is the best gaming series ever made sorry for you're lots

[Donut]

i find the whole sexualization of samus really just degrading to the actual game. youve got a protagonist who could just as well be a man, but shes a woman. as far as i know, until other m, none of the games made a big deal out of it at all. then i turn around and like 90% of fans are like "TITS OR GTFO". it makes talking about the game awkward because you feel like almost everyone who talks about it only likes it to fap to it, and you feel like they think you do too. its really difficult to talk about how awesome the sunburst is when the other person has that little smile on their face thinking, "yeah i bet you like that sunburst, dont you? :pervert:"

shes a female protagonist. lets act like we've seen a woman before.
E: that being said, the fact that she is a woman is pretty cool.

[Arteen]

This Samus is the bestest Samus:
http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100304031151/metroid/images/f/f5/Samusmpend.PNG



This is the worstest Samus:
http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/images/zerosuit_samus/zerosuit_samus_071008b-l.jpg

Although to give Other M some credit, her zero suit in that game is probably the most tasteful rendition:
http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110620221661/metroid/images/1/14/Full_Zero_Suit_shot.png

[Moses]

I have come back from the dead, summoned by Donut, to say a few things regarding my favorite game series of all time.

Bodzilla, either you explain why you think the metroid series sucks or it's obvious you're just hating. Arteen, why do you think Other M sucked? I loved it. It was a beautiful blend (except for the stop-and-look spots like at the very beginning) of original metroid sidescroller with 3d mechanics. I also believe Team Ninja did Samus great justice in the way she fights in this game. She doesn't just collect a million missiles and blast everything she comes across with the most extreme prejudice you've ever seen. She makes use of the Chozo DNA she grew up with and is presented as an armored-human-bird-ninja. They also humanize her in Other M. She isn't a silent protagonist like Link, her background is explored upon and while she may normally be calm and collected she can still be struck with fear like in the fight with the fully evolved form of Ridly(which btw was the most epic fight I've seen in any of the series.)

Also, yes Don, the sunburst is facking awesome, but I still loved the sonic boom more, and YES Teek, THAT is Samus Aran.

Ejburke, I hate to admit it, but you're right about the battle with the Metroid Prime. It's too bland compared to everything else and the "color coding"(assuming you're talking about the enemies like color coded troopers and metroid prime) does get really irritating. Fighting the wave troopers was something I always hated cause the wave beam does so little damage, has such a slow fire rate, and the Wave Buster is basically a missile toilet.

[Arteen]

From a gameplay and presentation perspective, everything in Other M is, at best, mediocre. The story is worse. (http://moonbase.rydia.net/mental/blog/gaming/metroid-other-m-the-elephant/article.html)

[ODX]

My complaint about Other M is making Samus talk...like literally talk, and her voice actor is honestly really bad and almost whiny at times from the bits I've heard. Maybe there's a reason, dunno, but I didn't like it.

Haven't played the game but I hear it's alright. Personally I loved the Prime series.

[n00b1n8R]

http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs27/f/2008/180/a/d/Samus_Aran_Corruption_by_reiq.jpg
http://chanarchive.org/content/56_h/1508312/1236065690386.jpg
http://static.zerochan.net/full/48/47/14898.jpg

For Teek <3
http://media.animevice.com/uploads/0/69/92842-samus_1__super.jpg

[annihilation]

at least post 1 decent non fapable one.
http://metroid.retropixel.net/mprime2/renders/samus_vs_ing_hi_res.jpg

[MXC]

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/extra-credits/3126-Learning-from-Other-M

That gives a pretty good description on where Other M went wrong.


I adore the Metroid Prime series, as well as Fusion and Zero Mission. Also, the music kicks ass.

ZpcfCzikEPM

[Pooky]

I don't know what the problem people have with the Metroid Prime fight is. I thought it was awesome. I can only conclude that you all suck at Metroid.

Now Emperor Ing on Hard, that's a fight you can complain about.

Also,

http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/7853/2dendings.jpg

fapfapfapfapfap

[ejburke]

Ejburke, I hate to admit it, but you're right about the battle with the Metroid Prime. It's too bland compared to everything else and the "color coding"(assuming you're talking about the enemies like color coded troopers and metroid prime) does get really irritating. Fighting the wave troopers was something I always hated cause the wave beam does so little damage, has such a slow fire rate, and the Wave Buster is basically a missile toilet.The color coded enemies was lazy design and did annoy me, but the real thing that irritated me like a thousand mosquito bites were the weapon-specific doors.

If I walk into a room and see a door that I can't open until I later acquire a certain beam and return, that's fine. That's classic Metroid gating. It serves a purpose.

If, however, I come into a room that I could not possibly have been able to enter without a certain beam and they are still throwing that color of beam door at me, that is no longer gating -- that' the level designer being a dipshit.

I think by the time I was 14 Wave Beam doors deep into the Phazon mines, I had had enough of that harassment.

EDIT: I didn't have a problem with the Metroid Prime fight. I shot at it a few times and then quit. My enjoyment of that game had been on a steady decline for hours. They decide to end the game with a boss rush, essentially (Omega Pirate, Ridley, MP) and after the Ridley fight, I knew that I just didn't care for more of that. The game died for me when the exploration and discovery ended.

[Spartan094]

Now Emperor Ing on Hard, that's a fight you can complain about.
Oh dear lord that fight.

I still remember fighting the Omega Pirate on Hard years ago, fuck the different colored space pirates helping it out.

[Donut]

fucking emperor ing. after two deaths the only reason i killed him was a lucky sunburst shot into his mouth.

[Amit]

I really like the pic that Teek posted a few pages back. It seems genuine.

[TeeKup]

Sorry burke but to me it just seems you lack patience. There are very few things I would change about prime, maybe the door shenanigans. Personally I loved the boss rush. First play through Ridley was hard as FUCK. Went back and beat the game again recently, was expecting a hard fight, surprisingly I kicked his ass. Really fun fight.

To me the Metroid Prime was just fucking intense, nothing more satisfying that spraying him the the phazon beam.

I don't know, Prime and Rogue Squadron 2 were my first games on the GameCube/Xbox/PS2 generation. Prime is essentially my baby, I probably know the game like the back of my hand...with the exception of the final 10 missile expansions....>____>


Noob, the next chance I get, I'm launching you into the sun.

[ejburke]

I have patience when I feel there's going to be a payoff. I just didn't feel like finishing the game mattered. Now, if they had achievements...

Anyway, enough negativity. My favorite moment from the series is landing on Zebes in the rain and thunder and scouting out the old brain stomping grounds. That sort of trip down memory lane was really novel at the time.

[annihilation]

fucking emperor ing. after two deaths the only reason i killed him was a lucky sunburst shot into his mouth.

I found the emperor Ing to be rather easy. The Boost Guardian on Hard was a fucking nightmare.

[n00b1n8R]

Noob, the next chance I get, I'm launching you into the sun.
ILY BABEY
http://www.shemalehentaiplace.com/images/hentai--balls--blush--breast-grab--futanari--huge-balls--latex--stretch--vein.jpg

You have no idea how hard it is to find these while keeping it work-safe-ish

[Cagerrin]

ILY BABEY
http://www.shemalehentaiplace.com/images/hentai--balls--blush--breast-grab--futanari--huge-balls--latex--stretch--vein.jpg

You have no idea how hard it is to find these while keeping it work-safe-ish
Too bad the only good one on rule63 is waaay nsfw.

[JackalStomper]

Not sure where all the complaints about Ridley and Omega pirate are coming from. Even on hard you can kill Omega the first time he goes invisible if you know what you're doing.

For Ridley just boostball into it to take out like 80% of its health within 30 seconds of the fight.

Metroid prime is hilariously easy. Just use missile combo's on all but the lava beam. (Thought I guess if you're doing one of those no missile expansion challenges/speed running you're shit out of luck just spam charge beams)


I found the emperor Ing to be rather easy. The Boost Guardian on Hard was a fucking nightmare.

Agreed, the boost one was easily the hardest boss in the game until they toned it down in the Trilogy release.

[Pooky]

The Emperor Ing pissed me off mainly because the angle for landing shots in his mouth was so fucking specific.

Also, Omega Pirate is far and away the easiest boss in the whole Prime series. Parasite Queen is harder.

http://www.metroid2002.com/boss_tricks_omega_pirate_plasma.php

[JackalStomper]

I don't know about THAT, killing the Omega Pirate takes a little bit of thought. Parasite Queen you just unload 10 missiles with the missile glitch and you're done.

[Bodzilla]

I guess alot of people are rather sensitive....

and easily trolled.

[Spartan094]

Also, Omega Pirate is far and away the easiest boss in the whole Prime series. Parasite Queen is harder.
http://www.metroid2002.com/boss_tricks_omega_pirate_plasma.php

I find that to me be the opposite. Well now I need to look for my gamecube memory card if I can ever find it again so I can play again.

[TeeKup]

@ Noob

I'm going to fucking kill you.

[Pooky]

I don't know about THAT, killing the Omega Pirate takes a little bit of thought. Parasite Queen you just unload 10 missiles with the missile glitch and you're done.

Of course I was exaggerating a little bit, but still. Considering that they spent the ENTIRE phazon mines segment hyping up how powerful this guy was, his battle was rather disappointing.

He's not called "Omega Pussy" in speedrunner circles for no reason.

e: also Boost is pretty simple once you figure out his pattern, it's just that his attacks do ridiculous amounts of damage.

double e: does anyone else find it hilarious that while other games have these massive, game breaking flaws, all anyone can ever find to pick on about the Metroid series is the most inane and ridiculous nitpicks? Like ejburke. Doors, seriously?

[ejburke]

A thousand mosquito bites. I guess I could have brought up how 3D platforming in general is crap and I didn't think the combat was fun. And the fact that Super Metroid far outclasses every other entry in the series. I generally don't like to present my opinion as fact, but it seems almost indisputable to me that Super Metroid is the crown jewel of the franchise. I wouldn't be able to take an argument to the contrary very seriously.

I liked Metroid Prime well enough. Much more the first half than the second. But I don't recall any developers getting in line to rip off that weird control scheme and apply it to other FPS's or make a game that was at all similar to Metroid Prime. Its lasting contribution to games pretty much begins and ends with the visor HUD.

Again, I'm not trying to shit on it. It had good qualities -- great, even. But to me, the core Metroid experience just plain works better as a side-scroller. Someone must agree with me, because they tried to go back to 2D, sort of, with Other M (didn't play it), and a dozen or so Castlevania games, Shadow Complex, and Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet have come along and proven how timeless that side-scrolling exploration/discovery formula really is.

It isn't fucking boss fights that make a Metroid game. It's getting that upgrade and opening up that map to figure out where you can go that you couldn't before and then blazing a trail. And if that map isn't a nice, easy to read 2-dimensional grid layout of the entire interconnected game world, it's really hard for me to give a shit. Consequently, I don't really give a shit about Prime. Sorry.

[Bodzilla]

was too busy playing this

F4IvapXtvyk
DUDE SO FUCKING HARD DUDE

HOLLY FUCKING SHIT

[Moses]

Itterom: yeah honestly im done with this thread
Itterom: "I have patience when I feel there's going to be a payoff. I just didn't feel like finishing the game mattered. Now, if they had achievements..."
Itterom: lol
Itterom: youre right
Itterom: burke is some kind of child
Itterom: waaa i dont want to play a game for enjoyment
Itterom: i want achivments
Itterom: because thats the only way i enjoy games
Moses: yea
Moses: this is one reason why i left modacity
Moses: little bitch kids who try to act like Simon Cowell of the video game world
Moses: there needs to be a "I'm a total douche troll and need a 72 hour timeout" ban
Moses: in fact
Moses: i'm going to paste this section into a post and then just sign off for eternity
Itterom: its just shit like bod posted, and whoever is posting the sexual stuff thats ruining it
Itterom: its just like, lets discuss the series turns into "this is a bad game" and then "lol youre all easily trolled because i called your game bad with a condescending tone"
Itterom: even the opinionated stuff like "prime is so easy because of X glitch" is fine
Itterom: or like " i need achivments otherwise theres no point"
Itterom: thats better than "lol i troll you" and samus semi-porn
Itterom: because like, those same people will turn around and call you a child for not knowing something later on, like in that la noire thread where somebody (cant remember who) was like "how old are you, fuck" when i was describing the ai being bad at driving
Itterom: its like, im better than you because im older than you, but then they turn around and act more like a kid than anyone else
Itterom: and im not blanketing that over everyone
Itterom: at all
Itterom: there are quite a few awesome members there too
Itterom: but its funny. because this post youre posting
Itterom: somebody is goiing to make a comment like "lol srs thread" and prove my point completly
Itterom: im probably just over reacting, but fucks sake can not one discussion be handled with some semblance of maturity
Moses: no you're not
Moses: and this will be the EOL

[Pooky]

A thousand mosquito bites. I guess I could have brought up how 3D platforming in general is crap and I didn't think the combat was fun. And the fact that Super Metroid far outclasses every other entry in the series. I generally don't like to present my opinion as fact, but it seems almost indisputable to me that Super Metroid is the crown jewel of the franchise. I wouldn't be able to take an argument to the contrary very seriously.

I liked Metroid Prime well enough. Much more the first half than the second. But I don't recall any developers getting in line to rip off that weird control scheme and apply it to other FPS's or make a game that was at all similar to Metroid Prime. Its lasting contribution to games pretty much begins and ends with the visor HUD.

Again, I'm not trying to shit on it. It had good qualities -- great, even. But to me, the core Metroid experience just plain works better as a side-scroller. Someone must agree with me, because they tried to go back to 2D, sort of, with Other M (didn't play it), and a dozen or so Castlevania games, Shadow Complex, and Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet have come along and proven how timeless that side-scrolling exploration/discovery formula really is.

It isn't fucking boss fights that make a Metroid game. It's getting that upgrade and opening up that map to figure out where you can go that you couldn't before and then blazing a trail. And if that map isn't a nice, easy to read 2-dimensional grid layout of the entire interconnected game world, it's really hard for me to give a shit. Consequently, I don't really give a shit about Prime. Sorry.

:ugh:

What the fuck did I just read. No one game can appeal to everyone and I don't think anyone's saying that Super wasn't the best of the series but jesus christ. All I got from that was 'I'm too good for Metroid Prime because it's very slightly less than perfect'.

Also, killing omega pirate quickly purely by good timing and choice of weapons is a glitch?

Shit.

[Donut]

:ugh:
Also, killing omega pirate quickly purely by good timing and choice of weapons is a glitch?

Shit.
no, but there are plenty of other glitches, like most of the speedrun tactics that let you skip doors you would otherwise need certain items to open, or the missile glitch that lets you fire missiles like 3 times faster than you should be able to. somebody linked to a huge page of them a couple posts back. i used the missile firing trick a lot during the omega pirate fight, and without it the battle would have been a lot harder i think.

also theres the fact that not many people would ever think of that omega pirate strategy, or be able to pull it off even if they did. its definitely one of the harder fights in the game, especially for somebody playing for the first time.

[TVTyrant]

This should just be renamed the Samus porn thread...

[Amit]

This should just be renamed the Samus porn thread...

Read more than the first 3 pages...it's an all-in-one.

[n00b1n8R]

This should just be renamed the Samus porn thread...
ok

[Cortexian]

PPH

(post porn here (SFW porn))

[CN3089]

I don't think anyone's saying that Super wasn't the best of the series

I'm gonna go ahead and do this because Metroid II was rad as heck

[TeeKup]

You sir are lying and I know it!!!

[Pooky]

no, but there are plenty of other glitches.

The glitches are what give a Metroid game lasting replay value. Just look at Super. The Prime series is actually sorely lacking in that department compared to the sidescrollers, and that's the one thing I would really change about it.

That and making beam doors turn blue after you open them once.

[CN3089]

No really Metroid II was awesome they should really give it the zero mission treatment http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c251/CN3089/Emoticons/emot-sigh.gif


Or at least put it on the eshop!

[Pyong Kawaguchi]

this thread is lol

[Pooky]

No really Metroid II was awesome they should really give it the zero mission treatment http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c251/CN3089/Emoticons/emot-sigh.gif

Gotta second this. Metroid 2 Zero Mission or whatever would be awesome.

[cheezdue]

No really Metroid II was awesome they should really give it the zero mission treatment http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c251/CN3089/Emoticons/emot-sigh.gif


Or at least put it on the eshop!

I hope they do. Zero Mission (including the original) and Fusion were the only Metroid games I played. :c

[RedBaron]

Zero Mission was the shit. Fusion animations for the original loadout was awesome. Varia Suit needed huge ass shoulders though.