Anal Cleanliness Thread

[Boba]

Guys, I have a problem. Every time I masturbate, I start to sweat and I always smell an overwhelming presence of shit. I always scrub my ass with the tissue paper to the point of soreness, but that shit smell is always there.

I ask for help now because I just took a shit and had a hanger, and when I went to wipe I accidentally smeared it all over my crack. I scrubbed and scrubbed, but I just can't get it to stop smelling like shit! I have a lot of hair around my asshole, so it's a little hard to get perfectly clean. I've tried using the high-power nozzle on the shower-head, but I always miss and end up hitting my taint. Are there any good products out there that can help me out with my issue? Is there a special wiping method you guys use?

[TVTyrant]

http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/2/4/0c7426f4-4ea3-4a47-939f-4cea477ce747.jpg

[Boba]

I can assure you that this is a legitimate thread no matter how much it may seem that is a joke.

[hobojoe]

Who uses paper anymore?

[annihilation]

Use baby wipes. Wrap 2 of them around any finger of your choosing and wipe inside of your anus.

You should also try installing a bidet.

[Cortexian]

Shampoo your ass hair?

[ThePlague]

Shampoo your ass hair?This.

[n00b1n8R]

shampoo your asshair or get rid of it you sexy bearman <3

[Donut]

oh my god this thread :lmao:

[InnerGoat]

steel wool works wonders

[n00b1n8R]

boba threads are best threads never change mansef <3

[TPBlinD]

Use baby wipes. Wrap 2 of them around any finger of your choosing and wipe inside of your anus.

You should also try installing a bidet.ur gay

[Rainbow Dash]

enema

[neuro]

shave your butthole.

you could ask your mum to do it for you.
it's not like you've got things she's never seen before.

[Boba]

shave your butthole.

you could ask your mum to do it for you.
it's not like you've got things she's never seen before.
I will try this. I'm debating on whether I should shave it or wax it. Waxing seems faster.

I told one of my friends about this and he seemed really eager to help me out. I guess that's what friends are for.

[annihilation]

I will try this. I'm debating on whether I should shave it or wax it. Waxing seems faster.

I told one of my friends about this and he seemed really eager to help me out. I guess that's what friends are for.Never shave your ass hair. It gets really sweaty and it feels like you greased up the inside of your butt cheeks. One time I had a terrible rash and I applied Cortizone-10 to it and my ass hair would get very crusty because of the cream and every time I shat I had to clean off all off the hairs because the shit would get caught in the crust. So I shaved my ass and applied the cream and went to school. It was a hot day and I started sweating a lot and by lunch time it started smelling even worse because I had gym class before lunch. I go to sit and the table and the smell of shit, sweat and Cortizone-10 fills the air and everyone even the girl I really liked started throwing up because it smelled like someone poured rotting ramen noodles over a pile of shit and molasses, I got sent home because of it and I never got to finish my lunch. Everyone called me "Raunchy Ass" for the rest of the year.

[Syuusuke]

now's a good time, it won't get too hot

[Timo]

Just use a lighter to gradually singe off the excess hair.

[Limited]

Use a bidet...duh
http://gallery.hd.org/_tn/std/toilets/_more2006/_more05/bidet-pink-porcelain-3-DHD.jpg

[Donut]

is the ass smell thing a common problem or something because i shower less than most people (re: every other day), and i have NEVER had that issue. i get swamp ass like nobody's business but never a shit smell.

shampoo ass hair guys. it works. use a loofah or something if that isnt working.

[Boba]

is the ass smell thing a common problem or something because i shower less than most people (re: every other day), and i have NEVER had that issue. i get swamp ass like nobody's business but never a shit smell.

shampoo ass hair guys. it works. use a loofah or something if that isnt working.

Is there a shampoo specifically made for ass hair? I have a very sensitive anus, so I don't want to get something that will irritate it to the point where it bothers me.

[Donut]

i dont know... iv always just used my normal shampoo. i imagine as long as you dont go digging at your anus while washing it you should be fine.

i mean obviously rinse off really well too. you do NOT want shampoo staying there :gonk:

[Cortexian]

I said shampoo your ass hair not insert shampoo into your anus.

[Kornman00]

Never shave your ass hair. It gets really sweaty and it feels like you greased up the inside of your butt cheeks. One time I had a terrible rash and I applied Cortizone-10 to it and my ass hair would get very crusty because of the cream and every time I shat I had to clean off all off the hairs because the shit would get caught in the crust. So I shaved my ass and applied the cream and went to school. It was a hot day and I started sweating a lot and by lunch time it started smelling even worse because I had gym class before lunch. I go to sit and the table and the smell of shit, sweat and Cortizone-10 fills the air and everyone even the girl I really liked started throwing up because it smelled like someone poured rotting ramen noodles over a pile of shit and molasses, I got sent home because of it and I never got to finish my lunch. Everyone called me "Raunchy Ass" for the rest of the year.
http://www.onebit.us/images/146whatthefuckamirea.jpg

[TVTyrant]

http://www.onebit.us/images/146whatthefuckamirea.jpg
My thoughts exactly. I was so sure this was a copy pasta when i first read it.

[Boba]

I said shampoo your ass hair not insert shampoo into your anus.

I am trying to attack the problem at the source!

[Kornman00]

Then cut off your ass

[Bodzilla]

Don't Shave


I have recently made one of the biggest mistakes in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

No, I was not constipated. This was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny balls of shit were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my ass-cheeks. It led to much frustration, with me knowing that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butt hair dwelling place. Eventually I would have to do one of two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its ‘Can't-Be-Flushed’ threshold.

As I was contemplating this problem, I had what seemed at the time to be a brilliant idea. “Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair all together, and then my crap will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements, things like "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK, or "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled; satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know?

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two ass-cheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. And I mean it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4-block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair, ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my ass-cheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum-sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing back in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a Brillo pad. Well, that’s what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

All I can say is friends don’t shave your ass hair!


just look... dont do it bro

[TVTyrant]

This HAS to be a copy paste. Or else Bod has had a horrible experience...

[n00b1n8R]

So while we're here, lets start this debate again.

Standing up or sitting down to wipe your ass.
Who the fuck sits down, you must cover your hands in shit :S

[Donut]

spread asscheeks sitting down for initial wipe, stand up to finish.

[Cortexian]

Sitting... Actually more like balancing/leaning on one cheek in order to spread them for effective wiping.

Not sure how you would go about effectively wiping while standing, I mean you cheeks are forced together when you stand up.

[ThePlague]

Stand up and spread cheeks to wipe.

Now another debate, wiping up towards the top of your ass or wrap around from the front and wipe down. I wipe up.

[Cortexian]

Up.

I was once taught in babysitting school that you should always wipe up, especially on girls because you could drag poo residue into the vaginal area which could get infected.

[ThePlague]

Eww,





you were in a babysitting school.

[n00b1n8R]

well you've got a few options. You can grab one asscheek with your spare hand (obviously not touching the shit area) to spread them or just lift one leg a bit vOv

My hands are way too big to reach down a small gap at the back of the toilet and if i move far enough forward I cut off circulation to my dick.

Tell me you people don't wipe towards your junk :sick:

[Cortexian]

You don't reach behind and into the small gap area.

Lean to your left in the chair you're sitting in until your right ass cheek comes off the chair.. That's the most effective wiping position.

[ThePlague]

One of my toilets in the house is loose, so if I tried doing that the toilet would fall over.

[EX12693]

Tighten the nut holding it down?

[n00b1n8R]

You don't reach behind and into the small gap area.

Lean to your left in the chair you're sitting in until your right ass cheek comes off the chair.. That's the most effective wiping position.
Alright I'm curious. Never thought of doing it that way so I'm going to give it a go next time and report on how it went.

Wish me luck!

[Spartan094]

My entire reaction to this thread and all the info that's been posted.
http://spartan094.codebrainshideout.net/1318277667831.jpg

[Limited]

The fact that this thread is still; going after 5 pages, is both worrying and depressing.

So much talk about wiping ass, just think what the central European people feel when they sit in public...Theres only a hole in the ground and you stand up the whole time...

[dark navi]

Use Nair to help rid yourself of that man-forest.


e: Wow, thought I was posting on the first page, really should pay more attention.

[Kornman00]

http://www.modacity.net/forums/images/customavatars/avatar1793_4.gif (http://www.modacity.net/forums/member.php?1793-dark-navi) (http://www.modacity.net/forums/member.php?1793-dark-navi)

[Amit]

I once read an article 2 or 3 years back called Don't Shave The Ass Hairs! I think what Bod posted might be a repost of it. I'll have to google it.

[MXC]

"Wipe up or down?"

"Side!"

"Circular motion!"

"Stick a glob of toilet paper there and leave it!"

[annihilation]

I just make myself a toilet paper glove and start fisting myself. most clean feeling ever

after punching through waves and waves of shit the glove starts breaking down, unwrap it, fold it up and take one good hard swip from the bottom up and be careful not to wipe it all onto your lower back

[Donut]

The fact that this thread is still; going after 5 pages, is both worrying and depressing
hey, this is an important topic :maddowns:

[Kornman00]

http://www.superficialgallery.com/wp-content/uploads/big-shit.jpg

[nuttyyayap]

Did you HAVE to Korn? :ohdear:

[Kornman00]

When you gotta go you gotta go

[Jelly]

The fact that this thread is still; going after 5 pages, is both worrying and depressing.

So much talk about wiping ass, just think what the central European people feel when they sit in public...Theres only a hole in the ground and you stand up the whole time...
lol

[Cagerrin]

Anal Cleanliness Thread (http://www.modacity.net/forums/showthread.php?24007-Anal-Cleanliness-Thread&goto=newpost) http://www.modacity.net/forums/styles/modacity/buttons/lastpost-right.png (http://www.modacity.net/forums/showthread.php?24007-Anal-Cleanliness-Thread&p=598196#post598196)
by Jelly (http://www.modacity.net/forums/member.php?45-Jelly&)

uh-HUH

[Spartan094]

When you gotta go you gotta go
http://kornnersoftware.com/images/boner.png

[Pooky]

Wait wait wait.

That picture of Keyes is named boner.jpg?

[annihilation]

Wait wait wait.

That picture of Keyes is named boner.jpg?
.

I thought "Why the hell does Kornman have pictures of boners on his website" but then I realized it was Keyes.

[TVTyrant]

Sitting, wipe up.

How the hell would you do this standing? I only stand wipe when I'm hunting and there is nothing but a hollow stump to shit in.

[annihilation]

Sitting, wipe up.

How the hell would you do this standing? I only stand wipe when I'm hunting and there is nothing but a hollow stump to shit in.

Put one leg on the edge of the bathtub and bend over a little bit

[t3h m00kz]

I wipe towards my nuts

[n00b1n8R]

I wipe towards my nuts
You sick fuck.

[t3h m00kz]

EAT MY SHIT

[Cortexian]

when I'm hunting and there is nothing but a hollow stump to shit in.
Aren't these the best experiences?

One great thing I do when hunt-pooing is lean my gun against something fairly sturdy so it won't go anywhere, barrel up. Slide roll of TP down the barrel, *POOF*, TP roll dispenser.

[neuro]

hehe i read that as TP roll disaster

[dark navi]

I don't wipe, but I do have a dog.

[ThePlague]

:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmn1ts_AIhA

[TVTyrant]

Aren't these the best experiences?

One great thing I do when hunt-pooing is lean my gun against something fairly sturdy so it won't go anywhere, barrel up. Slide roll of TP down the barrel, *POOF*, TP roll dispenser.
Usually there are enough sticks around for that, but thats a good idea. I like it!

[MXC]

Don't you hate it when you think you're finished pooping, but it still feels like there is something else on the way? Then you spend another ten minutes trying to squeeze out a brownie that isn't there. You spend another ten minutes wiping up a turd that never made it far enough out of your rectum to pinch off, but still managed to pop his head out.


Pain in the ass.

[annihilation]

I don't wipe, but I do have a dog.

http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/entries/icons/original/000/002/339/babby.jpg?1270160188

[MXC]

I'm feeling so stimulated by this topic that I'm going to poop right now.

[Cortexian]

Don't you hate it when you think you're finished pooping, but it still feels like there is something else on the way? Then you spend another ten minutes trying to squeeze out a brownie that isn't there. You spend another ten minutes wiping up a turd that never made it far enough out of your rectum to pinch off, but still managed to pop his head out.


Pain in the ass.
This is, THE, worst thing.

I think it's even worse than splash-back from your droppings.

[Amit]

Don't you hate it when you think you're finished pooping, but it still feels like there is something else on the way? Then you spend another ten minutes trying to squeeze out a brownie that isn't there. You spend another ten minutes wiping up a turd that never made it far enough out of your rectum to pinch off, but still managed to pop his head out.

Pain in the ass.

This is, THE, worst thing.

I think it's even worse than splash-back from your droppings.

Truth times 100 million.

[n00b1n8R]

OK guys, I told you I'd report back after trying a sitting down wipe and here I am.

It turns out I've been kind of constipated the last few days so this post is later than i was planning. Anyway, i was getting ready for uni when I got the strongest urge to take a dump. Keen to try out this new technique, I hurried forth to my throne and commenced proceedings.

It was one of those really annoying shits where it feels like it's going to tear your ass apart but never quite gets there. It also fell apart as it reached the exit so I had to endure 2 minutes of plop-plop-plopping. Glad everyone else was asleep.

After finally expelling my produce and doing the obligatory 5 minute wait for the plop of shit that's not going to come out, I wiggled across in my seat like Lancer instructed. I must say at first I was a bit worried about the proximity of my hand to my shit covered ass but It turns out it's actually not that bad. As a control I stood up to wipe halfway through and I'm not actually sure which one I liked better. Standing is more normal to me and I don't really have an issue with my ass closing up when I do it but I'm def going to give sitting another go.

Still, my hand feels kind of cramped and I'm not keen to let it rub against the seat, just feels wrong.


Don't you hate it when you think you're finished pooping, but it still feels like there is something else on the way? Then you spend another ten minutes trying to squeeze out a brownie that isn't there. You spend another ten minutes wiping up a turd that never made it far enough out of your rectum to pinch off, but still managed to pop his head out.


Pain in the ass.

FUCKING THIS


This is, THE, worst thing.

I think it's even worse than splash-back from your droppings.

PROTIP: Put a bit of toilet paper in the bowel before you sit down. It prevents most of the splash back.

[TVTyrant]

Don't you hate it when you think you're finished pooping, but it still feels like there is something else on the way? Then you spend another ten minutes trying to squeeze out a brownie that isn't there. You spend another ten minutes wiping up a turd that never made it far enough out of your rectum to pinch off, but still managed to pop his head out.


Pain in the ass.
The worst is that when this happens you will NEVER be rid of the slight odor until you shower. I always feel terrible afterwards.

[Cortexian]

I've found that the best way to prevent the lingering-brownie effect is to wait till you really need to go (if you're in class or something, and know you can get to the bathroom quickly). Then once you get to the bathroom, sit down and just give it as much of a push as you can manage for as long as you can manage. If you do it right, you will expel the entire contents of your bowels in 3-4 seconds. I find this takes care of the hangers-back, as they get flushed out in the rush with everyone else.

[Kornman00]

PROTIP: Put a bit of toilet paper in the bowel before you sit down. It prevents most of the splash back.
-XNDM4eAn1U&autoplay=1

[dark navi]

I long the day I can see you poop in front of my eyes.

[Boba]

update:

This morning I once again tried to break out the shower head on my asshole. However, I had overlooked one crucial factor: dingleberries. Masses of dingleberries flew out of my crack from the jet of water. It looked like I was pouring a box of raisins out of my ass.

I'll experiment with shampooing tomorrow morning.

[n00b1n8R]

I've found that the best way to prevent the lingering-brownie effect is to wait till you really need to go (if you're in class or something, and know you can get to the bathroom quickly). Then once you get to the bathroom, sit down and just give it as much of a push as you can manage for as long as you can manage. If you do it right, you will expel the entire contents of your bowels in 3-4 seconds. I find this takes care of the hangers-back, as they get flushed out in the rush with everyone else.

Not everyone is blessed with your sphincter of steel :v:

[TeeKup]

http://www.workmercs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/jackie.jpg

This entire thread. Seriously guys. What the hell.

[n00b1n8R]

http://www.workmercs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/jackie.jpg

This entire thread. Seriously guys. What the hell.

Dude, you're an expert (relatively speaking), whats your procedure for cleaning your ass before buttsex?

[TeeKup]

Bitch my ass is clean all the time. I scrub thoroughly whenever I shower (which is usually twice a day).

[n00b1n8R]

Yeah but I mean like internally. How do you avoid shitdick syndrome?

[TeeKup]

By not ingesting garbage? And when I say clean thoroughly, I do mean thoroughly.

[Kornman00]

fbGkxcY7YFU

[TeeKup]

NO. NO.

YOU REMOVE THAT RIGHT NOW YOU LITTLE SHIT.

[Kornman00]

YOU LITTLE SHIT.
http://www.modacity.net/forums/images/customavatars/avatar88_164.gif (http://www.modacity.net/forums/member.php?88-TeeKup) (http://www.modacity.net/forums/member.php?88-TeeKup)

[TeeKup]

....goddamnit.

[Spartan094]

http://kornnersoftware.com/images/boner.png

[MXC]

http://www.modacity.net/forums/images/customavatars/avatar2716_76.gif

[LlamaMaster]

I come back, and this is the first thread I see. What the fuck guys.

sage

[cheezdue]

This thread needs more poo nuggets.

[dark navi]

[/URL][URL="http://www.ratemypoo.eu"]Rate my Poo - The place to rate poos (http://www.ratemypoo.eu)

[EX12693]

:ohdear:

[Cortexian]

Rate my Poo - The place to rate poos (http://www.ratemypoo.eu)
Your PHP installation appears to be missing the MySQL extension which is required by WordPress.

[ThePlague]

:like:

[Warsaw]

:lmao:

.

[Spartan094]

http://www.modacity.net/forums/images/customavatars/avatar2134_18.gif

[ThePlague]

So I tried the leaning to the side and wiping method, I cannot do it. I'll stick with the half standing wipe, to full standing finishers.

[Rook]

I come back, and this is the first thread I see. What the fuck guys.

sage
hi AIDS

[neuro]

hi AIDS
^

[Kornman00]

http://www.peeandpoo.com/

[EX12693]

:raise:... :v:... :ohdear:...

[n00b1n8R]

about to take a shit wish me luck

[n00b1n8R]

I hate it when you can fill the whole fucking bowl with toilet paper and still keep getting the same amount of brown on the paper.

Also, after a bit of testing here's why I prefer standing:

Leaning on one leg on a toilet bowl for extended wiping is uncomfortable
Having to constantly pull the paper into a position where I can see if it's still brown is awkward and slow
I've got a sizable dick and to fit my arm between my back and the seat lid, I have to wiggle forward. This means my dick is touching the bowl and that's pretty gross.

So yeah, I think I'm going to keep standing. Thanks anyway.

[neuro]

i don't think it's your wiping thats the problem, it's the way you shit.

[leorimolo]

I played shit rullete today, just taking a shit reading the thread over and waiting to see what could happen and how to solve it.

lets say I lost because I got the worse shit experience ever.

[Kornman00]

so a shitty experience?

[TVTyrant]

so a shitty experience?
Ba dum tss

[EX12693]

:downsrim:

[jcap]

I thought shit roulette was when you have chipotle/whatever and take a shit without wiping afterwards

[MXC]

I thought shit roulette was when you have chipotle/whatever and take a shit without wiping afterwards

Wouldn't that be Mexican Shit Roulette?

[Kornman00]

Wouldn't that be Mexican Shit Roulette?
http://kornnersoftware.com/images/image016.jpg

[Cortexian]

http://kornnersoftware.com/images/boner.png

[sleepy1212]

If there's a mirror behind your bowl take it down immediately or never ever ever look, use the force if you must.

It will ruin your life seeing what you've been missing.

[neuro]

2girls1cup

[LlamaMaster]

It's like I'm really on /v/.

Stop having fun, guys. I hate fun.

[n00b1n8R]

this thread
http://i.imgur.com/sAQY0.png

[Boba]

POOP CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK

Eat some kind of seed (pumpkin, sunflower, something like that.) without shelling it. It has to be a large amount or it's not fun.

The person that takes the most impressive shit and then takes a picture of the spikey turd in the blood soup wins. May or may not get gifted a game on steam-- I shouldn't have to bribe you to partake in such an event.

[Kornman00]

n u

[ejburke]

Nobody do that unless you want to be in agonizing pain and/or die.

[ThePlague]

I cringed just reading that.

[Boba]

n u I did it last week. :(

e: that fucking smiley caused me more pain than the challenge did

[ejburke]

Did you paint little numbers on them to make sure they all came out on the other end of the flume ride? Or did some of the more trouble-making, hooligan seeds hop out of the ride midway through to hide in the works and harass the next innocent flume riders that come down the line, eventually getting bored and deciding to set fire to the whole thing.

Fuck, I was channeling House with that analogy.

Anyway, don't take your ability to poop well for granted. A healthy dump is a marvel to behold. It needs no added "flair".

[TVTyrant]

POOP CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK

Eat some kind of seed (pumpkin, sunflower, something like that.) without shelling it. It has to be a large amount or it's not fun.

The person that takes the most impressive shit and then takes a picture of the spikey turd in the blood soup wins. May or may not get gifted a game on steam-- I shouldn't have to bribe you to partake in such an event.
http://www.aaanything.net/wp-content/gallery/some-monday-fun-photos/what_the_fuck_am_a_reading.png

[Spartan094]

POOP CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK

Eat some kind of seed (pumpkin, sunflower, something like that.) without shelling it. It has to be a large amount or it's not fun.

The person that takes the most impressive shit and then takes a picture of the spikey turd in the blood soup wins. May or may not get gifted a game on steam-- I shouldn't have to bribe you to partake in such an event.
http://spartan094.codebrainshideout.net/emote/1316311705373.jpg

[Boba]

Sorry, the intent of the challenge was actually for you to take a real-life shit - it seems you two have accidentally interpreted its purpose to be determining who can make a post with the shittiest content. I assure you this was not my intent. Sorry again for the confusion everyone.

[Kornman00]

:(

e: that fucking smiley caused me more pain than the challenge did
Yeah, vB is full of a bunch of shitfaced asshats who have their head so far up their butt that they can't make heads or tails on how to make quality community software.

Hence the new smilies they added in their newer versions.

[Spartan094]

Sorry, the intent of the challenge was actually for you to take a real-life shit - it seems you two have accidentally interpreted its purpose to be determining who can make a post with the shittiest content. I assure you this was not my intent. Sorry again for the confusion everyone.

Your welcome. Granted I already knew what the entire purpose of it was I decided to do what I did. Calm the fuck down, it's not like I can have my own share of fun.

[MXC]

Oh Lord, I just had imagery of a reverse poop pop into my head after reading that. Like when you snork a hanging booger back up your nose, but with poop and your anus.

[TeeKup]

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrvyltJVLU1qfu4tho1_400.png

This entire thread.

[Boba]

Your welcome. Granted I already knew what the entire purpose of it was I decided to do what I did. Calm the fuck down, it's not like I can have my own share of fun.
no hard feeligns man
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/8632965/merel1.png

[Spartan094]

:mech3:

[Kornman00]

Oh Lord, I just had imagery of a reverse poop pop into my head after reading that. Like when you snork a hanging booger back up your nose, but with poop and your anus.


http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrvyltJVLU1qfu4tho1_400.png

This entire thread.
http://www.modacity.net/forums/images/customavatars/avatar88_165.gif (http://www.modacity.net/forums/member.php?88-TeeKup)

[TeeKup]

I lol'd so hard my poverty pop went up my nose.

[Kornman00]

Wait...isn't it suppose to come out your nose O.o?

[TeeKup]

It did.

[TVTyrant]

Then I don't see the problem here.

[Kornman00]

went up my nose.
I just never heard someone express it this way (since it sounds like it went up your nostril holes) but...whatever (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xz7_3n7xyDg).

[Boba]

I lol'd so hard my poverty pop went up my nose.

loL who drinks with there noes xD

[MXC]

What's Poverty Pop? Some sort of soda for the poor?

[TeeKup]

http://chanarchive.org/content/22_k/9468314/1312869738508.jpg

They're about as cheap as packs of Ramen. Something like a pack of 50 for 2 dollars.

[neuro]

i used to put those things in the freezer as a kid.

[EX12693]

Well.. that's where they're supposed to go..

[n00b1n8R]

http://chanarchive.org/content/22_k/9468314/1312869738508.jpg
Those are great and all but wouldn't the FUCKING SHARP plastic knives on either side damage your sphincter?

[t3h m00kz]

You know what's great for anal cleanliness?

Dick

[Kornman00]

Those are great and all but wouldn't the FUCKING SHARP plastic knives on either side damage your sphincter?


You know what's great for anal cleanliness?

Dick
http://www.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/summer-glau-what-the-fuck-is-this-shit.jpg

[leorimolo]

this thread is so much shit win

[TeeKup]

Those are great and all but wouldn't the FUCKING SHARP plastic knives on either side damage your sphincter?

PROTIP: They go in my mouth. Along with an assortment of other items.

[n00b1n8R]

PROTIP: They go in my mouth. Along with an assortment of other items.
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l183/n00b1n8R/teek.png

[TeeKup]

STOP THAT.

[Boba]

this morning i was wiping and my finger went through the paper into my butthole

felt kind of good

....

http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l183/n00b1n8R/teek.png

[EX12693]

http://kornnersoftware.com/images/boner.png

[Donut]

oh my god :lmao:

[MXC]

http://i.imgur.com/616vB.jpg

[n00b1n8R]

modacity - mini4chan

[Boba]

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/8632965/fuck.png

his signatures are becoming self-aware

[TeeKup]

Fuck they are. >___>;

[Cortexian]

lul

[Kornman00]

Fuck, it happened. >___>;
ftfy

[ThePlague]

http://i.minus.com/i5aRWzj4mJEsZ.png
:o

[t3h m00kz]

oh lawd.

[TeeKup]

Stop that! >__________>

[Spartan094]

http://spartan094.codebrainshideout.net/regret.png

o:

[MXC]

inb4confrontation.

Ontopic(?): I have discovered that paper towels are much more effective than toilet paper.

[n00b1n8R]

inb4confrontation.

Ontopic(?): I have discovered that paper towels are much more effective than toilet paper.
yeah but toilet paper isn't a huge square so there's a lot of wasted paper (unless you use the same piece multiple times which is p gross) and it's cheaper.

[Kornman00]

I don't think PTs are sewage friendly either. At least not as much as TPs

:giggle:

[t3h m00kz]

dragons are good for anal clenliness

[ejburke]

You kids. No appreciation for modern conveniences.

Commercial toilet paper was invented in 1857.

Splinter-free toilet paper was introduced in 1935.

Fucking THINK about that shit.

[annihilation]

TP really is a blessing in disguise.

I once had to shit outside and there was no toilet paper so I had to use a leaf from my mothers tomato plant.

Turns out the leaf was covered in aphids, took about 7 lady bugs to clear them all out of my rectum. Couldn't pull them out so I had to use a frog which was a lot easier once I lubed up a pair of tongs.

[Donut]

^:smith:

[n00b1n8R]

dragons are good for anal clenliness
http://www.bad-dragon.com/

[neuro]

lol that website is blocked at ubisoft.
do i even WANT to know?

[Patrickssj6]

http://www.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/whats-going-on-in-this-thread.jpg

[t3h m00kz]

http://www.bad-dragon.com/

One of the co-founders of that site passed away a few weeks ago

Damn shame because he was actually pretty chill ;c

[n00b1n8R]

One of the co-founders of that site passed away a few weeks ago

Damn shame because he was actually pretty chill ;c
Yeah, /v/ was pretty upset. They love their products over there.


lol that website is blocked at ubisoft.
do i even WANT to know?
Dragon Dildos.

[t3h m00kz]

I honestly can't tell if you're serious or if you're bashing /v/ LOL

[Timo]

Dragon Dildos.

http://www.modacity.net/forums/images/customavatars/avatar222_62.gif

[n00b1n8R]

I honestly can't tell if you're serious or if you're bashing /v/ LOL
serious
<3 /v/

[t3h m00kz]

serious
<3 /v/

well in that case yeah I'm not surprised, I bet /v/ loves them fantasy RPGs.. Company's probably going to take a big hit from it, the guy was the boyfriend for five years of the site's main artist, so there's bound to be some emotional fallout for a while

also, Timo, your signature is becoming self-aware.

http://s4.postimage.org/smh03w7ez/wat.png

[n00b1n8R]

well in that case yeah I'm not surprised, I bet /v/ loves them fantasy RPGs..
Some of them (morrowind) but generally /v/ hates videogames.

[mech]

http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/449/17225022.jpg

Hi boba, thanks for making this thread.

sincerely, Mech

:mech2:

[PopeAK49]

I'll just admit it since this thread was created..The real reason why I don't eat corn is not because of the taste, but because it shows up in my shit.

THERE/THEIR I ADMITTED IT!

[n00b1n8R]

They have hoaers dildos too.
http://www.bad-dragon.com/thumbnails/324/product_bigger.png

E: @ mech

[Donut]

this is coming from somebody with this as their avatar http://www.modacity.net/forums/images/customavatars/avatar1997_25.gif
:v:

speaking of shits, like i mentioned, i live in a dorm now, so we have a bathroom for our section of the hall with 3 stalls. today im taking a shit in the stall against the wall, and this guy walks into the center stall, drops his pants, and sits down, and im just like :maddowns:. i understand some people are more comfortable than others shitting in public like that but what the fuck, why do you take THAT stall? you cant make it just a little less awkward and take the stall on the other side? this has happened to me 3 times this week alone.

[PopeAK49]

They have hoaers dildos too.

E: @ mech

So that is what a cow dick looks like...Didn't know cow dicks had a nipple. Image that! Learn something every day!

^I knew someone would post my avatar picture..Bastard.

[Timo]

They have hoaers dildos too.
http://www.bad-dragon.com/thumbnails/324/product_bigger.png

E: @ mech

how

[PopeAK49]

Is it wrong to look through this thread on my laptop while taking a shit?

Timo, why do you have a picture of me in your signature? (Kingfisher with a gun)

[t3h m00kz]

I heard a story about some people at a furry party doing shots out of those huge horse ones

It was apparently on some radio station. Lawl

[Timo]

Relevant:
3GOYUBfdHn4

[Kornman00]

They have hoaers dildos too.
what-

how-

what the how fuck

[Timo]

Relevant:
3GOYUBfdHn4


Is it wrong to look through this thread on my laptop while taking a shit?

Timo, why do you have a picture of me in your signature? (Kingfisher with a gun)
Because birds with arms (http://www.iywib.com/birds_with_arms.php) was probably the best thing on the internet since horse and dragon shaped dildos.

[Kornman00]

http://www.iywib.com/sarah_jessica_parker_horse_7.jpg (http://www.iywib.com/sarah_jessica_parker_is_not_a_horse.php)

[n00b1n8R]

speaking of shits, like i mentioned, i live in a dorm now, so we have a bathroom for our section of the hall with 3 stalls. today im taking a shit in the stall against the wall, and this guy walks into the center stall, drops his pants, and sits down, and im just like :maddowns:.
Don't get me started on fucking college toilets. When it's not that asshole taking the seat next to you (or both getting filled up and having to listen to a chat UGH), it's living on the ground floor next to the open field so whenever there's a big party guess which 3 stall toilet 200 people use.

Walking into the toilets at 2am on a Saturday morning and seeing 3 chicks in the male floor toilets and walking out listening to a 4th in one of the showers asking for toilet paper doesn't get old.

[annihilation]

Speaking of animal dildos.
http://www.kinkyconsumer.com/images/magicsm.jpg

I'm so ordering 3 of these.

[EX12693]

Copyright violation.

[t3h m00kz]

Speaking of animal dildos.
http://www.kinkyconsumer.com/images/magicsm.jpg

I'm so ordering 3 of these.

dragon wangs are infinitely more interesting >:|

[Kornman00]

I'm so ordering 3 of these.
what-

what kind of animal has a dong that looks like its circulation has been cut off?

[KantIZBack]

...... Why did i stumble into this topic.

[Timo]

http://www.iywib.com/sarah_jessica_parker_horse_7.jpg (http://www.iywib.com/sarah_jessica_parker_is_not_a_horse.php)


http://timo.modacity.net/michael-jordan-lol.gif

[t3h m00kz]

what-

what kind of animal has a dong that looks like its circulation has been cut off?

Canine

Furfaggotry 101

[annihilation]

what-

what kind of animal has a dong that looks like its circulation has been cut off?

A dog.

Go look for yourself, give a dog an erection then pull its foreskin back.

[t3h m00kz]

Dude even I cringed reading that

[Kornman00]

A dog.

Go look for yourself, give a dog an erection then pull its foreskin back.
ಠ_ಠ

That raises a question: do Jews circumcise their pets? Poor Jew pets :saddowns:

[n00b1n8R]

ಠ_ಠ

That raises a question: do Jews circumcise their pets? Poor Jew pets :saddowns:
animals dont go to heaven sorry

[Kornman00]

But all dogs do (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096787/) :saddowns:

[n00b1n8R]

Not Jewish ones (and I'm pretty sure catholic ones as well).

[Kornman00]

But all dogs go to heaven too (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115509/) :saddowns:

e: holy shit, Charline Sheen voiced a character in a cartoon ಠ_ಠ

[MXC]

A dog.

Go look for yourself, give a dog an erection then pull its foreskin back.

Please tell me you didn't learn this from personal experience.

[Cortexian]

Back on topic about cleanly anal cavities please~

[Kornman00]

No, I must know if Jews cut the penii of their pets, answer me dammit <:maddowns:>! They cannot be allowed to continue these heinous acts!

[n00b1n8R]

No, I must know if Jews cut the penii of their pets, answer me dammit <:maddowns:>! They cannot be allowed to continue these heinous acts!
It can't be any worse than circumcising their children~

[TVTyrant]

This (http://forums.bad-dragon.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=12449)

[MXC]

In an attempt to steer this trainwreck back on topic.

The roll of paper towels is lasting MUCH longer than a roll of toilet paper.

[annihilation]

They don't breakdown easily enough.

[ejburke]

Anybody know how to use a corn cob for wiping? I'm also curious about those three shells from Demolition Man.

[Kornman00]

In an attempt to steer this trainwreck back on topic.
http://www.planetcalypsoforum.com/gallery/files/6/8/6/1/fuck_you.jpg

[t3h m00kz]

In an attempt to steer this trainwreck back on topic.

good man. anal cleanliness is a very important topic that we all must discuss in great detail.

you know some of those dragon dicks come with lube tubes that run through them, just sayin' that could be taken advantage of

[Cortexian]

In an attempt to steer this trainwreck back on topic.

The roll of paper towels is lasting MUCH longer than a roll of toilet paper.
Paper toil increases the likelihood of plugging the toilet, it's also much less environmentally friendly!

[leorimolo]

I don't think this happens anywhere else in the world, but toilets here have a bin for you to put toilet paper in it. They even have signs asking you to use it. I refuse to, and its absolutely disgusting seeing shit covered toilet paper filling a trashcan up

[Kornman00]

Paper toil
:giggle:

I don't think this happens anywhere else in the world...
You live in Mexico right?

[n00b1n8R]

I don't think this happens anywhere else in the world, but toilets here have a bin for you to put toilet paper in it. They even have signs asking you to use it. I refuse to, and its absolutely disgusting seeing shit covered toilet paper filling a trashcan up
http://i.imgur.com/FRaAI.png

[MXC]

http://www.planetcalypsoforum.com/gallery/files/6/8/6/1/fuck_you.jpg

Hey, for the first time ever I find a thread where steering the thread to shit is ontopic.


Paper toil

http://i.imgur.com/6s96G.gif

[leorimolo]

:giggle:

You live in Mexico right?
God no, Costa Rica. Were still beaners tho.

[Kornman00]

Were still beaners tho.
LLqqZmNFa_A&autoplay=1

[TVTyrant]

Mexican Amerrrrrricans, love education, so they go to night school, and take Spanish, and get a B...

[leorimolo]

Mexican Amerrrrrricans, love education, so they go to night school, and take Spanish, and get a B...
I was born completely latin and you would be very dammed surprise at how good I speak english. (Lol we always bothered anth0ny since he did sound like a beaner, but they only called me a beaner :x)

Also I was talking to my dad, and we thought that maybe people here seriously do eat too much rice and beans and they just shit too much, clog the system down so a trash-bin is required to keep the country afloat.

http://costa-rica-guide.com/travel/images/stories/g2data/albums/food/GalloPinto/gallopintohuevos_1.jpg

[TVTyrant]

I was born completely latin and you would be very dammed surprise at how good I speak english. (Lol we always bothered anth0ny since he did sound like a beaner, but they only called me a beaner :x)

Also I was talking to my dad, and we thought that maybe people here seriously do eat too much rice and beans and they just shit too much, clog the system down so a trash-bin is required to keep the country afloat.
Why would your ability to speak English be surprising? Look buddy I'm no racist. Because racism is a crime. And crime is for brown people.

[leorimolo]

Why would your ability to speak English be surprising? Look buddy I'm no racist. Because racism is a crime. And crime is for brown people.
And columbians

[TVTyrant]

And columbians
And white Jewish people.

[Donut]

jesus fucking christ kornman i am literally in tears from that video :lmao:

[Mr Buckshot]

Paper toil increases the likelihood of plugging the toilet, it's also much less environmentally friendly!

problem solved:

DZOOSs9I5NY

[Nero]

jesus fucking christ kornman i am literally in tears from that video :lmao:
. LOL

[Kornman00]

Wait...are you telling me you guys are Cheech and Chong virgins :saddowns:?

[Donut]

yes :saddowns:
but fuck i know what im doing tomorrow :iamafag:

[Cortexian]

Paper toil was intended to be a pun, but I just realized that it's kind of an inside joke.

[TVTyrant]

The last couple of days I have had this horrible wet diarrhea. Its not like the normal kind you might experience. Its just been literally water with tiny bits of shit in it. I am not sure what to do. I have tried in taking as much fiber as I can, but that hasnt seemed to help.

Please help me guys. This is getting awful.

[Kornman00]

Here's a thought, have you tried taking the water hose out of your butthole?

[TVTyrant]

Yes. Yes I have.

[Kornman00]

I open this thread right as I'm listening to Ghosts N Stuff...makes an interesting mix with Cheech N Chong

[MXC]

F1huadpHcjk&


Now THAT'S how you take a shit!

[n00b1n8R]

The last couple of days I have had this horrible wet diarrhea. Its not like the normal kind you might experience. Its just been literally water with tiny bits of shit in it. I am not sure what to do. I have tried in taking as much fiber as I can, but that hasnt seemed to help.

Please help me guys. This is getting awful.

Move to an un-impoverished nation with free healthcare and go see a doctor.

[Kornman00]

6Qa3YaMxUPY
Oh, aren't you adorable. "I had to use my...my middle...to get the job done", ha! Well played.

Wait. Annihilation, is this your long lost sister?

[annihilation]

Wait. Annihilation, is this your long lost sister?

Nah, if I had a sister she'd use her whole hand and fist pump the shit into the drain.

[Kornman00]

:saggy:

[Cortexian]

What? She used her middle finger to what exactly? Reach into her anus and extract her shit?

What the fuck?

[n00b1n8R]

I keep having these shits where I can wipe and wipe and still have a significant amount of crap on my toilet paper. It's to the stage where I give up after filling the bowl and wash it out in the shower.

I actually almost clogged my toilet today, I had to fill it 3 times to get it to finally clear out.
what do

[Boba]

I usually stop filling a bowl when I can't see the water anymore, so I flush then keep going. It's really your call to make.

[Kornman00]

Just when you thought this thread couldn't get any shittier...

[t3h m00kz]

I usually stop filling a bowl when I can't see the water anymore, so I flush then keep going. It's really your call to make.

By the time I'm done I've got toiliet paper brushing up against my ass

[MXC]

Last night I finally used up the last of that roll of paper towels. So, I have now summarized that a single roll of paper towels used in place of a single roll of toilet paper will last about 14 days or more. Now, for a comparison, I will use a roll of toilet paper and see how long that lasts.

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/stand-back-theres-science-in-this-shit.jpg
:eng101: