I love you, Peanut.

[Master Kim]

I don't mean to make this forum my own personal blog, but I have to get this off my chest.

Saturday, May 12th, 2007: My father took me to get a haircut. I complained I didn't need it and that I was in the middle of a game (Halo PC). But he made me go. Since the weather was so divine, we decided to bring our dog with us--Peanut, our beloved Chihuahua-Dachshund mix, also known as a Chiweenie.

When we pulled into the small parking lot near the barber shop, we decided to let our dog outside the car so she could walk around, pee, explore the surroundings, you know, dog stuff. I took my eyes off for a minute and she ran across the road to the other side, where there were other stores and shops opposite to the barber shop. I was panicking, but I couldn't go over to the other side of the road because the traffic was too fucking heavy. Literally, there were no traffic lights, no marked paths where pedestrians could cross to the other side, but an uninterrupted road of asphalt where people drove probably above 30 MPH dividing a group of buildings.

She crossed back and a red car ran her over. It was one of the most tramautic experiences I've ever had in my life. I screamed her name and I ran to her body in the middle of the road and she died in my arms, as blood flowed from her mouth and her eyes stared outward. People came around and traffic continued. My father came, so did the lady at the barber shop who we knew personally, along with some other nearby pedestrians who saw the event. The driver in the red car came to us and apologized, but I don't blame him. A police officer drove by, wrote something on a notepad, somebody got an empty beer box filled with newspaper and my father held and put her limp body into the box. He sent me to the minivan and drove us home.

The guilt is tremendous. I should have kept a closer eye on her. I should have paid attention. I should have kept her in the car. I should have crossed the road despite the heavy traffic.

Then the anger--the driver who ran her over, my father for taking me to get a haircut, my stupid, stupid dog for running across the road.

All in all, I can blame no one. It happened. Too many factors to be accounted for, too many reasons why she died that day. She was less than three-years-old.

I couldn't stop crying, and the tears flowed freely--they still do. I can't imagine life without her. Nobody to cuddle with me on the couch. No furry, warm body to hug and hold before and after a stressful day. No one who is going to sit by the window sill and wait patiently for someone to come home. Nobody's belly to rub. No one to walk outside to enjoy the heavenly weather. No one to beg and roll over for a doggy treat. No one falling asleep while listening to the sound of my father and I playing guitar. No one waiting underneath the fold-up table for some scraps of food. No innocent animal to offer unconditional love, companionship and acceptance. No Peanut. She was unique--there will never be another dog like her.

Everyday I come home now and I cry whenever I see something that reminds me of her. The couch, where so much of her hair was shed on, slept on, played on, jumped on, lived on. Or her chew toy, a little orange dinosaur. The food and water bowl, and her blue bed which my father moved to the basement since it was too painful to see them. One of the worst parts of this is whenever the door opens, whenever somebody knocks on the door, whenever someone rang the doorbell, the sound of it would get my dog's attention and excite her, barking and become active. I open the door and I expect to hear the click-clack of my dog's paws walking across the kitchen tiles to see what's going on.

God blessed me with this beautiful creature; one which taught me how to love and bring our family closer together. How life is worth living. As morbid as it may seem, good things have come from this--the sympathy and comfort of my friends, for example. I've become even more closer with my family than I have before.

I am grief-stricken, but am thankful. It could have been worse. This experience has all the more led me closer to God and now I count my blessings more than ever. I will miss her and always remember her.

Peanut, I love you. Rest in peace.

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That's my father in this picture:
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[Limited]

You are right that was tramautic. I'm sorry you had to witness it and be there in the aftermath. RIP Peanut.

My cat was hit by a car a few weeks back. Luckily she survived although she had to have her tail taken off.

[Bossniak]

Sorry to hear that. May she rest in peace.

[FlyingStone]

:(
Terrible, terrible thing. RIP Penut, take care Kim..
-F.S

[Dole]

...she has my prayers. There are no emoticons to depict my expression after reading that.
I'm sorry. So sorry.

One of my dogs died three years ago, and another was hit by a car six years ago, but I've never been through something of this magnitude.
Accept my condolences... on behalf of me and my former Samoyed companion, Dole.

[Syuusuke]

How long have you had her?

I can't believe this happened. I am so, so sorry to hear about this.

[Hurrvish]

i choked when i read about the part where she died in your arms. that must have been a very traumatizing experience...

rest in peace peanut, and enjoy life in dog heaven

[Pred1ator]

dog heaven? I dont belive in god or hell or heaven. sorry mate, its hard to loose a loved one, i lost my uncle a couple of years ago and my grandmas three dogs, woody, deedee, and spirit. I still cry about it today

RIP Peanut

[TheGhost]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I am glad you are getting through this and hope for the best, even in these sad times.

[jcap]

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. It looks and sounds like she was a wonderful dog. It's really terrible this had to happen to her. May she rest in peace. :(

While I'm not sure if this is exactly the best time to say this, I'm impressed by your emotional intelligence surrounding this. You're not looking to point the finger, placing the blame on whoever is most vulnerable. While it's difficult, you're accepting that it happened. Those are very good, wise ways to handle these things (and the correct ways), rather than blaming yourself for everything and letting it completely tear you up inside.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss. I've lost two dogs in my life so far. They weren't taken as tragically since they died from old age, so I can't really say I feel your grief. Our last dog died when I was around 7-8 or so, so I can't remember exactly what it was like, but it had me upset, especially when I was that young.

[thehoodedsmack]

I feel sorry for you. I've only had my dog for a few months, and I'm thankful for my city for enforcing leash-laws, else I may have something similar happen to me. RIP, Peanut.

[Roostervier]

Hey, I feel for you man. I am sorry to hear of this. As Jcap said, you are handling it extremely maturely and intelligently. I know what you mean, that there will not be another dog like her... there never will be, ever. The good part is, if you ever find you want another dog... that dog becomes a new definition of a dog. No, not Peanut, maybe not like Peanut at all... but the one of a kind feeling that came with Peanut, comes with the new dog. I hope you get one, though they aren't things to just be "replaced." It does still help having a buddy after school, or some other event, though (I went through this last year, my dog dying of several contributing factors and being terribly ill, and other dogs being run over). So, I hope you get to feeling better about your situation.

[LlamaMaster]

I feel for ya man, I really do. Although I have yet to have anything die in my arms, I know how it feel to have your pet get hit by a car. One morning your petting your friend, completely unaware those are the last few moment of their life. Then in a spit second their gone, and nothing will ever bring them back. The anger twords the driver of not watching where he was going, and wondering what the hell processed he/she to cross the road in the first place. Again, sorry for your loss. I've had my share of them too.

[Con]

:( I felt the same when my bird died, then my dog.

[Bodzilla]

Woah, thats deep.

Rip Peanut

edit: about a month ago a bird we had died. we had, had him for 9 years "cheeky" the cockateil.
Everyone had gone away and i was looking after the Animals for the weekend. i came in at night for something in the Kitchen and he just fell off the perch, let out a few screeches and that was it he just died in my hands. however i'm 18 now so it didnt hit me so hard But his mate "bonnie" the bird is still fucked up about it and screaming out for him. they had 2 sets of babies between them, and they mate for life.

but to see ya dog get hit by a car is pretty fucked up man.

[rossmum]

Ouch. That's terrible :(

A few months ago my pet duck Peggy died, we'd had her for about 7 years and I went out to feed her only to find her lying on the ground and unable to get up... we took her to the vet, but they had no idea what was wrong. She died in the box we'd commandeered to carry her around in as we walked out of the reception, I felt terrible because we'd had her for so long... but at least it was peaceful. She'd been hit by a car too, broke her leg and nearly killed her (birds shock really easily, even a minor injury can be life-threatening) so we took her in and looked after her while she recovered, ended up keeping her. Also had a stillborn alpaca not long before, which was pretty sad.

[n00b1n8R]

that's just sad.

i can't really think of anything else to say.. i've never had a dog (:gonk:), but as jcap said, your being incredibly mature about this.

though my grandparents had this 3 legged dog (one leg had to be amputated after he was hit by a truck) named blue. he was the closest thing i've had to my own god. he had to be put down a few months ago because of his terrible arthritis (imaging a 8yr old blue healer getting around on 3 legs up and down stairs everyday..)

fuck i need some tissues now..

[Elite Killa]

That's so awful, man. I'm so sorry! Here, take some +rep to make it feel better.

[Emmzee]

Damn, that sucks. Your dog didn't look old either, which is worse. My dogs were 14 and 17 when they died, respectively. It's harder when a younger dog dies.

[rossmum]

Not necessarily. It's terrible either way, but when you've had a pet for a few years, it's so much worse (in my eyes at least) because you just aren't used to them not being there :(

[Xegrot]

That ain't cool... not one bit. Really sorry. It must have been so traumatic.

Kind of what happened to my grandmothers dog: She went out into the road, got hit by a car, and when my grandmother touched her, she died. She said it still haunts her.

Nothing more to say. R.I.P Peanut.

[Master Kim]

While I'm not sure if this is exactly the best time to say this, I'm impressed by your emotional intelligence surrounding this. You're not looking to point the finger, placing the blame on whoever is most vulnerable. While it's difficult, you're accepting that it happened. Those are very good, wise ways to handle these things (and the correct ways), rather than blaming yourself for everything and letting it completely tear you up inside.I understand that, quite frankly, shit happens. Whether or not it's anybody's fault.

[Pooky]

I have a little dog just like that :(

Good luck

[Master Kim]

I have a little dog just like that :(

Good luckA Chiweenie?

[n00b1n8R]

Is that a Chiwowa/saussage dog cross?

[kungpow]

Well it sounds like peanut had a caring owner and a good life good on ya mate you gave peanut the life he deserved :)

[blazedelite]

oh man im so srry for your losss i know how hard it is. I know u can get through this because your mature. And good luck........

R.I.P- Peanut

[Pooky]

A Chiweenie?

Yeah, brown and black