What would you do?

[et_cg]

My reasoning for posting this is because I have basically no contact right now that will understand me, or is trying to care for me.

Situation:

Girlfriend doesn't know how to break up with you, but you will do anything for her. She doesn't seem to see how much you care for her, and your mother makes things worse by getting drunk herself and not seeming to care. Girlfriend makes it worse by discussing how to break the news with you among friends.


I am doing my best to get my care across to her, I want her to work at this with me, as we've barely been going out for two months. I care for her a lot, and she's just absolutely amazing.

I fall victim to what my mother has been doing and drowning out my pain from both my girlfriend and her by drinking irresposnsibly.


I've just felt like shit for a over a month now, and I have had barely any creative time to be able to give to my wonderful h2vista community.

I feel sour, discouraged, betrayed, and unloved right now. I just want ideas as to how to cope/fix/do what I can to keep a positive thing with not only her, but what I can do for all of my buddies here.

Korn was able to listen to me, Llama Juice has been able to listen, but people I barely know have been giving me input.

I almost know most of the community here, so I guess getting a better understanding and how to act maturely in such a situation would help.

I really need it.

I feel horrible.

</3

[n00b1n8R]

your handling this mostly well IMO.

obviously the drinking is a bad idea. tell your GF your not drinking at all. that's a good sign.

also, tell her you really care and you want the relationship to last. take her some place she likes, do something you hate and she loves (make sure she knows you hate it but your doing it anyway for her).

really go the extra yard. your a brilliant member here and I can't imagine why she'd want to leave you if your like this IRL (she can do a FUCK LOAD worse).

lol, look at me, "Mr. never had a date in his life" trying to give advice to somebody i've never met :3

[Rosco]

My reasoning for posting this is because I have basically no contact right now that will understand me, or is trying to care for me.

Situation:

Girlfriend doesn't know how to break up with you, but you will do anything for her. She doesn't seem to see how much you care for her, and your mother makes things worse by getting drunk herself and not seeming to care. Girlfriend makes it worse by discussing how to break the news with you among friends.


I am doing my best to get my care across to her, I want her to work at this with me, as we've barely been going out for two months. I care for her a lot, and she's just absolutely amazing.

I fall victim to what my mother has been doing and drowning out my pain from both my girlfriend and her by drinking irresposnsibly.


I've just felt like shit for a over a month now, and I have had barely any creative time to be able to give to my wonderful h2vista community.

I feel sour, discouraged, betrayed, and unloved right now. I just want ideas as to how to cope/fix/do what I can to keep a positive thing with not only her, but what I can do for all of my buddies here.

Korn was able to listen to me, Llama Juice has been able to listen, but people I barely know have been giving me input.

I almost know most of the community here, so I guess getting a better understanding and how to act maturely in such a situation would help.

I really need it.

I feel horrible.

</3

Dude, I know this maybe impossible to get by, but if you feel as though you want to make her feel as bad, maybe she'll sink to your level and realise how horrible she's being. ( I don't mean drink till you're legless, lol) Just try not to put any emotion into the matter, if she wont then you don't have to either. It's not fair for you to pour your heart out over this girl if she's just gonna step over you like stairs. Make sure she realises you don't care, make her realise she's being stupid. You could have a talk with her if she ever actually realises how you feel right now.

Of course, there are alot of other ways, but I've had a similar time like this.

[Dr Nick]

Did you just turn into an emo kid?
Just kidding :D

Okay, well, if she's planning to dump you, then that's unavoidable.
What I would do in this case is:
Tell her I know what she's planning to do.
Tell her how I feel about it.
Ask her why.
Ask for a chance to change.If she doesn't give me one, I would feel sad for a bit, and then move on.
If she does, I would try to change, since whatever's repelling her is probably not a good quality to have in the first place.

EDIT: I would probably take advice from someone over the internet than in real life.
Especially from someplace like these forums. Everyone's got history, and I doubt people wanna make others feel bad.
(You get -repped like hell! :P)



EDIT AGAIN: If at all possible, try not to let her know you know.

You could ask her if there's anythings she doesn't like about you.

[n00b1n8R]

If i was the girl and you were rosco i'd fucking slap you :|

where's Aerowyn when you need her :(

[DaneO'Roo]

Suprise the absolute fuck out of her. When shes going to break up with you. Do something for her or give her something that is absolutely amazing.

Best thing to do, if you can, is paint a picture of her, or draw one, whatever.

It's the BEST thing to do, if you can. I'm not talking a realistic portrait though. I mean something surreal, amazingly beautiful, subjective, something that shows her:

a) you spent time on making it

b) that you see her in a totally different light to other people

c) that you treasure her and think shes outer worldly beautiful

Seriously, take it from me, the girl you love LOVES it when you paint her a picture, or play her a song on the guitar, anything.

[Rosco]

If i was the girl and you were rosco i'd fucking slap you :|

where's Aerowyn when you need her :(

wtc.

oh I got it, show her my avatar! :haw:

[Limited]

So let me get this straight. Youve been going out for 2 months, you found out shes planning on breaking up with you?

Firstly, the question is, were you feeling like shit before you found out she was going to dump you? If you've only been going out 2 months and half of the time you've been really upset and unloved like you said, then to be perfectly honest, I dont see why you want to keep it going. Yes it is good to have a current gf and ditching one feels bad however if you havent been going out long already and shes considering it then maybe your just not made for each other.

Did you know her really well before you started going out? Like was she a friend for a few years before?

I'd definitely talk to her about the situation and how you feel, you never know what you heard could have been a bunch of lies and she isnt thinking of dumping you.

Every relationship has its patchy times usually both of you can get through it.

So in summary, talk to her about it, she might come to her senses and realise if she does dump you she will be making a big mistake, but if she is indeed thinking of dumping you then maybe thats just the way it has to be, I dont see the point if going out with someone that will probably have doubts if they really like you and you'd never feel totally loved after it I'm sure. There are more fish in the sea as they say, at the end of the day if your not happy try to resolve it but as you havent been going out that long its not like you've had a big past and had really happy times and this is just a small hiccup and she can realise what has happened in the past.

I wouldnt go out dumping her through, although it will be hard on you, I would wait to see if she dumps you only because she could change her mind.

I'm sorry I'm not giving you great news in a such, not saying oh its going to work out no worries, sadly some times things just dont work out, its hard but there will be some one else out there for you.

[et_cg]

right...i'm sure that would work. except for i've been trying and hes EXTREMELY CLINGLY!!! ahhhh!!!!! its so annoying. sorry. i know you dont need to know this. but its the topic of the week right now. and its bugging the shit out of me.

Okay, so the support is awesome, I appriceate it much, guys.

I'm seeing a two way take, A) the one she doesn't want to see (clingy), or B) just tell her that I know it should be over even though I know that's not what I want to say.

Basically up there in that spoiler... she told someone that I was clingy, yet we barely see eachother. I check in, see how she's doing, and that's all on the phone, I do my best to find out. I have made her a couple piece of artwork, but nothing masterful. I should probably work on getting some true art supplys later on.

Gah, everytime I think about the fact that it's her that's doing this, it just sickens me. I just could never imagine her to do this, and now I just want it all to be a lie. You know? Where I can wake up one day and not feel all this shit.

But, meh, we all eventually go through something like this, I guess. But we all have different stands at expressing it and getting it out.

lol, I'm not emo, I just try to confide in people who I know actually care.

And you guys have deffinately showed me that there's more here than just e-peen sizes and :awesome: knowledge.

Thank you guys.

[et_cg]

(Spoilered for size)So let me get this straight. Youve been going out for 2 months, you found out shes planning on breaking up with you?

Firstly, the question is, were you feeling like shit before you found out she was going to dump you? If you've only been going out 2 months and half of the time you've been really upset and unloved like you said, then to be perfectly honest, I dont see why you want to keep it going. Yes it is good to have a current gf and ditching one feels bad however if you havent been going out long already and shes considering it then maybe your just not made for each other.

Did you know her really well before you started going out? Like was she a friend for a few years before?

I'd definitely talk to her about the situation and how you feel, you never know what you heard could have been a bunch of lies and she isnt thinking of dumping you.

Every relationship has its patchy times usually both of you can get through it.

So in summary, talk to her about it, she might come to her senses and realise if she does dump you she will be making a big mistake, but if she is indeed thinking of dumping you then maybe thats just the way it has to be, I dont see the point if going out with someone that will probably have doubts if they really like you and you'd never feel totally loved after it I'm sure. There are more fish in the sea as they say, at the end of the day if your not happy try to resolve it but as you havent been going out that long its not like you've had a big past and had really happy times and this is just a small hiccup and she can realise what has happened in the past.

I wouldnt go out dumping her through, although it will be hard on you, I would wait to see if she dumps you only because she could change her mind.

I'm sorry I'm not giving you great news in a such, not saying oh its going to work out no worries, sadly some times things just dont work out, its hard but there will be some one else out there for you.


Thank you Limited. I don't really feel inclined to answer all this right now, I mean, I know all the answers, and you've truely set a stamp in my mind now.

I just really hope things will turn out in a good direction.

[Limited]

She might be getting the impression your checking up on her that could be a reason she thinks your clingy, to me your not your just making sure shes okay and happy, but then again people view things differently. Definitely dont do B, although I dont feel your being clingy, maybe try to easy off on ringing her up to see how shes doing.

How many times do you see her in a week would you say? Like are you always around each other always seeing her and doing things? Because if you are maybe she just wants a bit of space, just a bit of time alone to think about things, not that shes considering the relationship just a break from seeing some one 24/7.

Edit:

You dont have to answer them, just think about the answer :)

[Warsaw]

Sounds to me that you, et_cg, are going through the exact same thing I went through last summer.

Trust me on this one, if you pursue, it won't end very nicely. I'd say just leave her, but if you won't do that, then Rosco's advice seems to be the next best course of action.

[et_cg]

...How many times do you see her in a week would you say? Like are you always around each other always seeing her and doing things? Because if you are maybe she just wants a bit of space, just a bit of time alone to think about things, not that shes considering the relationship just a break from seeing some one 24/7...

Well, I see her MAYBE once a week, and I talk to her MAYBE once a day now. We used to hang out more often and have loads of fun, then all of the sudden this happens. This has been going on for a couple weeks now, I guess it's not all exactly what I want it to be now, but meh... one can only hope for the best. I do hope things have a slight chance of working out.

I guess it'd probably be best for me to back off, and try to gain attention to what's actually going on. Rather than sitting back in the bleachers getting swept away by the damn Janitor. And all I was doing was watching. lol

[rossmum]

HOLY SHIT YOU POSTED AT 1:56AM FOR ME AND MY PC SAYS 1:55

:o

I went through something similar Nov. '05, except instead of a few months it was actually 5 days. :gonk:

You'll live, as much as you might be persuaded otherwise if/when she does drop you. There really isn't a whole lot you can do except sit back, watch her get dumped and cheated on by every successive boyfriend after you, and wait for her to work it out. You could be waiting a while, so a snack might be in order.

[Warsaw]

Listen to rossmum...he and I have had many a conversation on the matter. Ross knows, ross is wise.

[et_cg]

Dude, Ross.

That's the best damn thing I've heard yet. (Well, not regarding as all the other things said as not awesome, I'm just saying this totally hit who I am and what I might end up doing)

I would deffinately wait for something that's worth as much as her.

[Warsaw]

So, which snacks are you choosing? It's all about the snacks. With bad snacks, the wait is miserable :downs:.

[et_cg]

Well, I've been overcomming my addiction to smoking lately. It's tough, but I've been doing it for me and the other's around me. What's been going down with the girlfriend stuff makes quitting smoking the hardest thing in the world.

As for good snacks... hmm, I'm thinking wheat bread, with peanut butter and strawberry perservatives on top. Fucking awesome healthy snack (excluding the jelly that is), some kit-kats here and there, some reeses, maybe even some bawls when my bodys up for energy drinks again. Ooh, and sandwiches with pastrami. I fucking love pastrami now. Even when I filled up the bottom of the sink with the remains of it a couple nights ago, lol. That was intense.

Hmm, any tips on more snacky-poos?

[Warsaw]

Original Pringles. Those things are addicting enough to counter smoking.

[et_cg]

Know any healthful snacks too? My body crave's natural foods these days.

[Warsaw]

Raw broccoli, celery, and baby carrots with an appropriate dip is always good.

So is a brie sandwich on french bread :-3.

[Archon23]

Hey if you like healthy crap get some rice noodles and bok choy and have yourself some Chinese style noodles