Not this birthday, assholes.

[p0lar_bear]

So yeah, I was driving home from work down this strip that has a cemetery on one side of the road, and a bunch of shops, a package store, car dealerships, etc etc on the other side. It's well lit, except for in the front of this one shop that sells glass and mirrors.

Anyway, I was driving down the road, going the speed limit (35 MPH, that's 56 km/h to you Brits and Aussies), when I get close to said shop. I was fully alert, but I couldn't see this one coming: all of a sudden, I hear some scraping. I look off to my left, and next thing I know I see A FUCKING DEER, probably as tall as my car, if not 3/4 its height, and I think it was a doe. Whatever the fuck size/sex it was, the next thing I know is that I hear a loud *THUD*, I start screaming obscenities that would make your grandmother have a stroke, and I watch the fucking thing bounce right off my left fender, off of the passenger side of my windshield, and then over my car. I maintain speed and direction, and see a huge dust cloud pick up behind me in my rear-view mirror.

In shock, I pull the car over in front of one of those car dealerships that's right past the cemetery. I sit there for about 30 seconds wondering what the fuck happened, and then I get out of my car and check for damage. Thankfully, my car, which is a '92 Saturn, which apparently were famous for being hard to damage, only had a small crack in the tip of the fender where it meets the hood, and a small dent in the very corner of my hood. The only thing wrong with my windshield was that there appeared to be some snot on it or something.

After I realize both me and my car are alright, I hop back in, turn around, and check the scene of the accident. There was nothing there, so I'm happy to say I didn't kill it, but I'm sure there's one very dazed, confused, and bruised deer limping around the forest.

So, what did I get for my birthday? A near-death experience. http://sa.tweek.us/emots/images/emot-eek.gif

[Agamemnon]

And hopefully many more to come.













Wait.

[Con]

You're lucky; it could have been worse. Around here, people hit deer all the time and they go flying through the windshield. Gross.

[Abdurahman]

So the deer got a near death experience, or you, or both?

[Atty]

Fuck, my birthday is in 18 days, I thought I'd get an early present with your death. :(













JUST KIDDING I LOVE YOU POLAR DON'T YOU DIE ON ME! :awesome:

[Sever]

Sadly, no fresh venison for your birthday meal.

[Masterz1337]

He was trying to board your car. Seriously WTF though, good thing it was a smart deer.

[n00b1n8R]

yer well..

shit. D:
how was the rest of your day?

[Kornman00]

That was me jackass, not a dear! How dare you leave the scene of a hit and run (lulz paradox), you better be lucky dave at the mirror shop was already calling 911 as he saw you coming because you always speed down that road. The medics picked me up before you got back bitch <:mad:>

[n00b1n8R]

^wish I could rep you atm :saddowns:

[TeeKup]

Good God.

My dad hit a deer going at the same speed, all it did externally was make the center grill bar dent upwards, internally however my cd player, my horn, AND my alarm are FUCKED. Check your interior electronics. >_>

It's like they emit an EMP wave from their horns or something. <_<

[Skyline]

You're lucky; it could have been worse. Around here, people hit deer all the time and they go flying through the windshield. Gross.
>_> Moose. I know 3 people that either hit a moose or almost hit a moose including myself.

[DrunkenSamus]

I was driving through L.A. when all of a sudden I realized I drove right through air. It was disgusting and it was everywhere, too!

[Con]

Good God.

My dad hit a deer going at the same speed, all it did externally was make the center grill bar dent upwards, internally however my cd player, my horn, AND my alarm are FUCKED. Check your interior electronics. >_>

It's like they emit an EMP wave from their horns or something. <_<

That's strange. I guess they just couldn't handle the sudden jolt.

[Boba]

It looks like the hunter has become the hunted, p0lar_bear.

[Teh Ganon]

I dont think this was a near death experience... for you anyway.

[dg]

Great story! I had a similar one a few months back when a deer ran into my left fender. It was perfectly fine and walked away, but I had to replace my fender myself and almost zero body work experience. As bad as it sounds, I actually learned quite a bit about my 1990 Ford Bronco and learned the expenses that go with it.

I'm glad you're okay!

[Bastinka]

Aren't you supposed to report that?

[p0lar_bear]

My dad hit a deer going at the same speed, all it did externally was make the center grill bar dent upwards, internally however my cd player, my horn, AND my alarm are FUCKED. Check your interior electronics. >_>Everything on my car is fine; stereo, lights, etc. When I hit it, my car just kept going.


I was driving through L.A. when all of a sudden I realized I drove right through air. It was disgusting and it was everywhere, too!If that was a sarcastic remark because you think I'm making a big deal out of this, I'll have you know that hitting deer usually results in massive damage to your vehicle, and sometimes death of the driver and passenger(s).


I dont think this was a near death experience... for you anyway.This was a close call, especially since it bounced off my windshield before going over my car. If that deer had been bigger, if I had hit it at a different angle, or if I had been going faster, I might have ended up with no car, or I might have been hospitalized.

[Agamemnon]

I guess there's one plus for living in the city. You don't have to worry about hitting deer. The downside? You have to watch out for the bums. Those little guys just come out of nowhere.

[p0lar_bear]

I guess there's one plus for living in the city. You don't have to worry about hitting deer. The downside? You have to watch out for the bums. Those little guys just come out of nowhere.Like this one time I was driving down main street and I almost hit a bum. The only reason I didn't is because i saw his knife shine in my headlights.

:awesome:

[Agamemnon]

Fuck that, self defense. Floor it.

[legionaire45]

http://www.fukung.net/images/3248/Creepy&#37;20Backseat%20Jesus.jpg

I have another image but at the moment I can't find it.

Sucks though that this happened on your Bday =(.

[n00b1n8R]

what the fuck O__o

where do you find this shit <_<

[rossmum]

My dad hit a kangaroo in my car. Luckily, the only damage done was a cracked headlight. Roos are incredibly resilient to car hits... they've been known to trash a car and then hop off unscathed.

[Kornman00]

W T F mate???1

Fucking kangaroos

[n00b1n8R]

My dad hit a kangaroo in my car. Luckily, the only damage done was a cracked headlight. Roos are incredibly resilient to car hits... they've been known to trash a car and then hop off unscathed.

ever gone for a long drive in north QLD (on the highways)?

dead roos on the sides of the road every few Km :/
they smell :sick:

[Digikid]

Trust me. That deer went and died elsewhere.

[Kornman00]

Trust me. That deer went and died elsewhere.
Mmmmmm venison, arggaahgggaahghghagh

[beele]

Wow thats one heck of a thing to experience on your Bday. Anyway good to hear that your fine.

In my country there are no animals that cross the road (no big ones)
Here most cars get hit by traffic lights,

or was it the traffic lights getting hit by the cars ;).

[TeeKup]

Everything on my car is fine; stereo, lights, etc. When I hit it, my car just kept going.

Figures, my 1994 Honda Accord has a turbo on its engine and its STILL a piece of shit.

[DrunkenSamus]

Let's hope it wasn't a fully functional rocket engine. If you've seen Mythbusters you'll know what I'm talking about.

[itszutak]

The problem here is skunks.

Fuckin' stinkbombs living on the side of the road, and always get hit...Too smelly :(

[legionaire45]

http://www.fukung.net/images/6052/4Chan20070724200704.gif
Theres the image I was looking for.

[Kornman00]

I'm sure it is legion :rolleyes:

[legionaire45]

I'm sure it is legion :rolleyes:

I have another image but at the moment I can't find it.
Yes it is sir.

[Teh Ganon]

http://www.fukung.net/images/6052/4Chan20070724200704.gif
Theres the image I was looking for.

Yes this is one of those images of the future. Polar will win the lottery. Buy that car. And hit that damn deer again.

[Texrat]

He was trying to board your car. Seriously WTF though, good thing it was a smart deer.

If p0lar was on foot, would it have meleed him?

I like the irony of a bear pwned by a deer. *snicker*