Funny Dialogs. *may contain spoilers*

[TrU7H]

As the title suggests: let's post all the funny dialogs that you hear in Halo 3, including the ones that you get with the IWBYD skull on. I'll check this once every other day and paste the new ones on the front page (except for the ones ALREADY on the front page, you can just scroll down to view those yourself). And if you could be so kind as to mention when (meaning what level and what part of that level) it happened and what you did or were doing at the time it happened, it'd be appreciated.

Mine: Level- The Covenant- inside the first tower, killed a brute, and the other brute standing right by him said: "HE WAS MY LOVER!"



I remember hearing a new dialog, it was something along the lines of : "The Demon is here! He's going to eat me!" from a Grunt.


I saw two Grunts hugging once with the IWHBYD skull on.
*Grunts look at me*
Grunt 1: Hold me.
*Both Grunts start hugging until Assault Rifle fire kills them*

Besides the sleeping ones, those two were the easiest Grunts to kill ever. And it was a parody of the H1 Legendary ending! Yay!

I could have sworn I heard a brute say "no inappropriate touching!" on legendary.


Marine: Ohh, we're gonna need several bodybags!

Playing Tsavo Highway, I heard a grunt say "come on down for a yapyap pimp-slap!" before it threw a grenade. Grunts also go "what a world!" when they're fleeing.

monitor: MY PRECIOUS! (right before splazering him for the final time)
female marine: wanna go out sometime? (give her a sniper rifle)
male marine: sorry chief i dont roll that way (reticle is on him for to long)
brute: we dont take mastercard
marine: THIS IS SPARTA!
grunt: AYAYAYAYAAAA COME TO MEEEEEE *boom* (kamikaze)
brute: its hopeless! retreat! (pwn them)
jackal: (hilarious death scream that satisfies me so.)
marine: IM SUPRISED HIS HEAD STAYED ON! (melee a brute to death)
elite: i will name my next son after you! (gave him a spartan laser)

Grunt: SCREW THIS!
Brute: You Big Bastard!
Brute Chieftain (After Chief gets killed) Bring him here; so we can feast.

Grunt: I call dibs on the chestplate! (After a pack of them mauled me on Legendary.)

So, I'm playing on "The Covenant" with the IWHBYD skull. I tried swapping my hammer with Elites to see their reactions, and I got a couple of funny ones.

One of them said, "What foolishness- I mean, Bark Wort Wort."

And another said, "I have one word for you- BlegBlahblahBlargBleh." I cracked up like crazy.

I played an almost complete legendary runthrough with a friend yesterday with the IWHBYD skull. I heard a lot of the ones already said, but here's one that made me pause, then crack up once I realized that it was:

Guilty Spark: Mmmm, hm hm hm hm hm hm hmmmm...

Took me a few seconds to realize he was humming the Halo theme. :p

Marine staring at a dead Brute: They remind me of the wookies you know, from Star Wars.

at start of tsavo highway lvl when u get in hog
male marine: i got shotgun, called it, called it.

[ExAm]

That one's old.

Monitor: Oh, it is time for a blue light special, then?
Monitor: I wish I had lips, then I could whistle!
Monitor (similar to below): Ow! That hurt... my feelings.
Monitor (heard about this one, but unconfirmed): Ow! That hurt my feelings! Oh my god, I have feelings!? I'M A REAL BOY!
Marine: C- Can you see them too?
Brute: Is anyone going to kill him? No? Fine, I'll do it myself! (approximation)
Brute: Our food is in cover!
Brute (dying): WROAAAAGH!, aagh!, urgh!, urk!... *gurgle* (this took about three seconds to play out, even with his body motionless on the ground)
Grunt (running): ONLY TEATS AND TEDIUM, THEY SAID!!
Grunt (running): I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!
Grunt (running): THIS WASN'T IN THE BROCHURE!!
Grunt (suicidal): AYAYAYAYAAAAAA-kAMIKAZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *explodes*
Grunt (running): WAAH WAH WEE WAH
Grunt (running, this one's a classic): LEA-DER DEAD! RUN A-WAY!
Secret Grunt: It's the gas! When I'm on the gas, I don't know what I'm doing half the time!
Secret Grunt: I'LL BE THE BOTTOM!
Secret Grunt: HEY, DEMON! The jerk store called, and they're all outta you!

That's all I remember for now.

[p0lar_bear]

The Legendary RvB locked-door easter egg (approximation, don't remember it word-for-word off the top of my head):

Church
Hey, open up!

Caboose
What's the password?

Church
Oh, crap, uh, I forgot the password!

Caboose
That was close, you see, the password begins with "I forgot," and ends completely different!

Church
No, I'm telling you, I. Forgot. The. Password.

Caboose
You already said that!

Church
I don't know the password, ok? Will you just open the door?

Caboose
Aw come on, you're just guessing now!

[PlasbianX]

Grunt: OMG NO! HE WAS MY ONLY FRIEND!!
Marine: Stop Kill Stealing!
Marine: Did someone just fart?

[ExAm]

The Legendary RvB locked-door easter egg (approximation, don't remember it word-for-word off the top of my head):

Church
Hey, open up!

Caboose
What's the password?

Church
Oh, crap, uh, I forgot the password!

Caboose
That was close, you see, the password begins with "I forgot," and ends completely different!

Church
No, I'm telling you, I. Forgot. The. Password.

Caboose
You already said that!

Church
I don't know the password, ok? Will you just open the door?

Caboose
Aw come on, you're just guessing now!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlGr_vdxKlc

[Masterz1337]

The best quote is from H1.

"I would have been your Daddy, but the dog beat me over the fence"

[Ki11a_FTW]

stupid marine going to kick a brute: Dirt Bag!
brute: I got you now
stupid marine who went to kick a brte now has a brute holding his leg:WHOAAA!!!!!

[Jay2645]

rlGr_vdxKlc
FTFY.

[fatso784]

Grunt: I'll get you my pretty!

[Elite Killa]

Marine: I was gonna bag you, but, people are watching.

[Pooky]

The best quote is from H1.

"I would have been your Daddy, but the dog beat me over the fence"

Who says that? I never understood that caption at the beginning of b40 and now it makes sense D:

kinda sounds like a Johnson

[Sever]

That it is.


Trivia: The skull is named after a Sergeant Johnson quote sometimes heard in Assault on the Control Room: "I would have been your daddy, but the dog beat me over the fence!" Sergeant Stacker also occasionally says this on the Silent Cartographer. The first chapter of Assault on the Control Room is also named "I Would Have Been Your Daddy."

[Jay2645]

Halopedia's getting as bad as Wikipedia. Johnson says that when you rescue Keyes on the Truth and Reconciliation.

And, while I'm on the subject (Kinda) of Keyes, anyone here listen to the Bungie developer commentary on the Halo 3 Legendary disc?
For those who haven't, Halo 2 originally ended with Miranda Keyes strapping a nuke to Chief's arm, and sending him out there to kill Gravemind by reaching him and detonating the nuke. Why did she choose Master Chief? She didn't trust him because MC punched her dad in the face (On the level Keyes, remember?).

Also, there WAS going to be another level after the Halo 2 ending, but they cut it because of Microsoft's deadline.

[IPBJT!]

Halopedia's getting as bad as Wikipedia. Johnson says that when you rescue Keyes on the Truth and Reconciliation.

And, while I'm on the subject (Kinda) of Keyes, anyone here listen to the Bungie developer commentary on the Halo 3 Legendary disc?
For those who haven't, Halo 2 originally ended with Miranda Keyes strapping a nuke to Chief's arm, and sending him out there to kill Gravemind by reaching him and detonating the nuke. Why did she choose Master Chief? She didn't trust him because MC punched her dad in the face (On the level Keyes, remember?).

Also, there WAS going to be another level after the Halo 2 ending, but they cut it because of Microsoft's deadline.
I did, some of their comment were hilarious.

[Masterz1337]

Halopedia's getting as bad as Wikipedia. Johnson says that when you rescue Keyes on the Truth and Reconciliation.

And, while I'm on the subject (Kinda) of Keyes, anyone here listen to the Bungie developer commentary on the Halo 3 Legendary disc?
For those who haven't, Halo 2 originally ended with Miranda Keyes strapping a nuke to Chief's arm, and sending him out there to kill Gravemind by reaching him and detonating the nuke. Why did she choose Master Chief? She didn't trust him because MC punched her dad in the face (On the level Keyes, remember?).

Also, there WAS going to be another level after the Halo 2 ending, but they cut it because of Microsoft's deadline.
3 levels after the ending actually. Then there was going to be the moonbase, the first level warthog run, the Covie ship, and then Forerunner tank, where "awsomeness would ensue".

Oh, and stop being ignorant, MS gave them more than enough time for h2, Bungie by their own admission said they failed to deliver.

[MNC]

MS forced Bungie. IIRC though, Bungie lost almost all progress about halfway, which was really stupid of them. The script we have for halo 2 now is a last moment thoughts thrown together - and that shows.

[Masterz1337]

No, you're wrong, Bungie fucked up. They had more dev time than H1 or H3, yet Microsoft rushed them?

[Terry]

MS forced Bungie. IIRC though, Bungie lost almost all progress about halfway, which was really stupid of them. The script we have for halo 2 now is a last moment thoughts thrown together - and that shows.

I can't remember but I think it was something along the lines of the campaign being worked on by alot of people, and when it was time to put them together, it didn;'t flow right and they had to start from scratch. Or something like that..

[Elite Killa]

Grunt: SCREW THIS!
Brute: You Big Bastard!
Brute Chieftain (After Chief gets killed) Bring him here; so we can feast.

[Jay2645]

Grunt: I call dibs on the chestplate! (After a pack of them mauled me on Legendary.)

Also, I believe there was 1 level after the ending, the one where Chief lands on Earth, a.k.a. the Halo 2 version of Sierra 117. Moonbase was going to be instead of Master Chief blowing up the Giant Covenant Space Pickle, which turned into Covenant Ship (MC boarding a Covie ship from space, getting to the reactor, and detonating the Pickle), which turned into the cutscene after Cairo Station.
Forerunner ship was another level, Bungie didn't go into too much detail on that one. All I know is that it existed.
Forerunner tank was going to be after MC fell into the water and was captured by Gravemind, right after we see Arby fall into the hole when Taturus gets the index. It would switch to MC, who would be on a Forerunner Scarab-thingy with Gravemind's tentacles smashing down on him. Awesomeness would ensue.
Then, instead of going to High Charity, MC would be teleported to wherever Commander Keyes was located (Not in the clutches of Taturus, probably in In Amber Clad), where she would arc-wield a nuke to MC's arm, and send him to go blow up the Gravemind.

[Hotrod]

Also, I believe there was 1 level after the ending, the one where Chief lands on Earth, a.k.a. the Halo 2 version of Sierra 117. Moonbase was going to be instead of Master Chief blowing up the Giant Covenant Space Pickle, which turned into Covenant Ship (MC boarding a Covie ship from space, getting to the reactor, and detonating the Pickle), which turned into the cutscene after Cairo Station.
Forerunner ship was another level, Bungie didn't go into too much detail on that one. All I know is that it existed.
Forerunner tank was going to be after MC fell into the water and was captured by Gravemind, right after we see Arby fall into the hole when Taturus gets the index. It would switch to MC, who would be on a Forerunner Scarab-thingy with Gravemind's tentacles smashing down on him. Awesomeness would ensue.
Then, instead of going to High Charity, MC would be teleported to wherever Commander Keyes was located (Not in the clutches of Taturus, probably in In Amber Clad), where she would arc-wield a nuke to MC's arm, and send him to go blow up the Gravemind.

Then Master Chief would be dead and the fight would have been finished? I think I prefer Halo 3's ending.

Except the part that Master Chief is stuck outside the Galaxy with nothing to do except land on that planet seen in the Legendary ending.

I remember hearing a new dialog, it was something along the lines of : "The Demon is here! He's going to eat me!" from a Grunt.

[TrU7H]

All very nice ones guys, but please, stop talking about Halo endings and stay on topic here.

[Amit]

All very nice ones guys, but please, stop talking about Halo endings and stay on topic here.

Did you miss the last part of Hotrod's post? Or are you just blind?

[sdavis117]

In halo 2 one of the Marines went "Eveybody was kungfu fighting"

[TrU7H]

Did you miss the last part of Hotrod's post? Or are you just blind?
I meant the posts before that.
Anyways, I heard a somewhat new one today after I beat down a brute: Marine: "Ooo, you know kung-fu?"

[MNC]

I love the part on the Ark where you get the scorpion.

"Tank beats Ghost"
"Tank beats Ghost. Again" Or it was another vehicle... like "Warthog beats Ghost"

And somehow it cracked me up.

[Hotrod]

I love the part on the Ark where you get the scorpion.

"Tank beats Ghost"
"Tank beats Ghost. Again" Or it was another vehicle... like "Warthog beats Ghost"

And somehow it cracked me up.

Actually, it goes "Tank beats Ghost" when you blow up a ghost, "Tank beats Hunter" when you blow up a Hunter, and "Tank beats everything! Man, I could do this all day" when you blow up a Phantom.

[teh lag]

Playing Tsavo Highway, I heard a grunt say "come on down for a yapyap pimp-slap!" before it threw a grenade. Grunts also go "what a world!" when they're fleeing.

[ICEE]

monitor: MY PRECIOUS! (right before splazering him for the final time)
female marine: wanna go out sometime? (give her a sniper rifle)
male marine: sorry chief i dont roll that way (reticle is on him for to long)
brute: we dont take mastercard
marine: THIS IS SPARTA!
grunt: AYAYAYAYAAAA COME TO MEEEEEE *boom* (kamikaze)
brute: its hopeless! retreat! (pwn them)
jackal: (hilarious death scream that satisfies me so.)
marine: IM SUPRISED HIS HEAD STAYED ON! (melee a brute to death)
elite: i will name my next son after you! (gave him a spartan laser)

[MNC]

Actually, it goes "Tank beats Ghost" when you blow up a ghost, "Tank beats Hunter" when you blow up a Hunter, and "Tank beats everything! Man, I could do this all day" when you blow up a Phantom.
That's the one. I luv the Ark :3

[Co Redsonic]

From Halo 1:

Johnson: YOUR ALMOST A MAN!
Grunt: Burn!
Marine: I could have sworn some of them were wearing skirts...:lol:

[ExAm]

grunt: AYAYAYAYAAAA KAMIKAZEEEE *boom* (kamikaze)FTFY. Sounds sorta like what you said, but it's kamikaze.


Johnson: YOU'RE ALMOST DA MAN!

also fixed.

Another one of my favorites,

Marine: Ohh, we're gonna need several bodybags!

[MNC]

It's A, not Da, silly Am :3

[Siliconmaster]

It's A, not Da, silly Am :3

You sure? I always thought it triggered if you flipped the warthog or accidentally shot Johnson during a battle- "You almost da man" seemed to be a sort of sarcastic compliment. I'll have to go back and listen for it.

I've always liked "He's gone LOCO!!!"

[Con]

I could have sworn I heard a brute say "no inappropriate touching!" on legendary.

[Jay2645]

I saw two Grunts hugging once with the IWHBYD skull on.
*Grunts look at me*
Grunt 1: Hold me.
*Both Grunts start hugging until Assault Rifle fire kills them*

Besides the sleeping ones, those two were the easiest Grunts to kill ever. And it was a parody of the H1 Legendary ending! Yay!

[ExAm]

It's A, not Da, silly Am :3If you kill something, you might expect someone to shout "You da man!". Johnson likes to tell people he's better than they are, for humor value. You kill something, he says "You almost da man!"

[TrU7H]

All of these are great guys (and girls for those of you that are female, but I doubt that there any females that visit this forum), keep 'em coming.

EDIT: Front page updated.

[Jay2645]

All of these are great guys (and girls for those of you that are female, but I doubt that there any females that visit this forum), keep 'em coming.

EDIT: Front page updated.
There is a grand running total of 1 female on this forum, and she didn't come in this thread yet.

[ExAm]

All of these are great guys (and girls for those of you that are female, but I doubt that there any females that visit this forum), keep 'em coming.

EDIT: Front page updated.Aerowyn is a girl...

[TrU7H]

Alright, I got my answer, now please stop talking about that and let's get back to the funny dialogs. =D

[Xegrot]

So, I'm playing on "The Covenant" with the IWHBYD skull. I tried swapping my hammer with Elites to see their reactions, and I got a couple of funny ones.

One of them said, "What foolishness- I mean, Bark Wort Wort."

And another said, "I have one word for you- BlegBlahblahBlargBleh." I cracked up like crazy.

[MNC]

Captain Spark needs to get his ass working in H3 dialogue... I wanna hear these!

[Siliconmaster]

I played an almost complete legendary runthrough with a friend yesterday with the IWHBYD skull. I heard a lot of the ones already said, but here's one that made me pause, then crack up once I realized that it was:

Guilty Spark: Mmmm, hm hm hm hm hm hm hmmmm...

Took me a few seconds to realize he was humming the Halo theme. :p

[Jay2645]

I played an almost complete legendary runthrough with a friend yesterday with the IWHBYD skull. I heard a lot of the ones already said, but here's one that made me pause, then crack up once I realized that it was:

Guilty Spark: Mmmm, hm hm hm hm hm hm hmmmm...

Took me a few seconds to realize he was humming the Halo theme. :p
I've heard 343 GS hum the next part in the Halo theme, now all we need to do is find the ending.

[IPBJT!]

Marine staring at a dead Brute: They remind me of the wookies you know, from Star Wars.

[dydo]

at start of tsavo highway lvl when u get in hog
male marine: i got shotgun, called it, called it.

[TrU7H]

Hey sorry guys, I had some stuff to due and some major problems I needed to deal with, so sorry I wasn't able to check up on all of this.
Thanks to all of you that contributed great and funny quotes, I've updated the front page with them, =)
Keep up the grteat work.

I think I found a new one:
Marine (after sniping a brute in the head): chief will you be my friend?

[Caboos001]

While playing the level “The Covenant” (at least I think is was) I had tossed down a mine only to have it blow up in my face and do a nice amount of damage. Well I survived but felt kind of stupid that I ran into my own mine, then along comes 343 GS to add insult to injury. He floats up to me and says, “ Oh I see, you’re clumsy” -_-'

[TrU7H]

LMFAO! Best one I've heard yet.

[Hotrod]

"I told you to upgrade your combat skin" 343 Guilty Spark when you get killed

[PenGuin1362]

Johnson: Left you a present arbiter, but i'm walkin away
*farted in arbiters face*

[ExAm]

Marine: "Well, his violence is artful, I think."

Marine, near end of spartan laser charge: "Say hello to *fires* BETSY!"

Marines seem to have a series of timed dialogues to say while charging spartan lasers.

[Pooky]

There is a grand running total of 2 females on this forum
.

[TrU7H]

FriedMetroid are you a girl?
And to everyone else: =D, expecially the farting one.
Frontpage to be updated soon. =P

[Flyboy]

Brute - *After another brute dies* No! He was my lover!

[Rosco]

if u let me live, ill find u a gf.. i know that sounds crazy but i'll find you a gf.

grunt on covenant.

[TeeKup]

Brute - *After another brute dies* No! He was my lover!

I've heard this so many times.

[Hotrod]

I've heard this so many times.

Same here, it's not funny anymore.

[JunkfoodMan]

I don't know why, but whenever I hear a grunt say -

"Feet, don't fail me now!"

Makes me laugh inside.

[ExAm]

Marine: "Johnny! No! He was three days away from retirement!!"

...

:lmao:

[Caboos001]

Marine after smashing through group of grunts in a hog: “Aww, that’s not supposed to bend that way!”

[Hotrod]

I was playing on The Covenant at the part where you fight two Scarabs in a Hornet. A marine called "shotgun". Before he got the chance to get in, I flew off. The marine then said "Hey! I called shotgun!"

[ExAm]

Some oldies:

"I'd like to see you crack a 108,000-bit modulating encryption key" -Cortana

"One down, fif-ty billion to go!" -Johnson

[Xegrot]

On the Crow's Nest, I jumped up onto the top of the Pelican that takes off and looked into the cockpit. A single pilot was sitting there, and he looked up and said, "Hey look, a Mark VI! Wait... does that mean everything's gone to hell?"

Then he flew off, and I hit the level barrier and died, screaming "Waaaaaaggh!" the entire way down.

---

Then, on Tsavo Highway, at the very beginning, everyone was loading into the Transport hog, and I heard a voice say, in a gayish lisp, "Ok everyone, let's get onboard!" I laughed so hard, my brother thought I had gone insane when he walked in two seconds later.

[ExAm]

Then, on Tsavo Highway, at the very beginning, everyone was loading into the Transport hog, and I heard a voice say, in a gayish lisp, "Ok everyone, let's get onboard!" I laughed so hard, my brother thought I had gone insane when he walked in two seconds later.More like "Alright everybawdy let'ss get in!" (extra letters added for effect)

[TeeKup]

Sgt Stacker after hitting a grunt in a hog: "Woah, speed bump."

[Arteen]

A sergeant on The Storm: "Is that a giant metal laser-spewing spider? Just wanna be sure."

A marine on The Storm: "You're heading for a humanity calamity! Which rhymes!" (there's also a variant which excludes the last part)

A marine, The Ark (can't recall it exactly): "That was a massacre, a slaughter," then akwardly, "a massacre-slaughter... kill..."

[flibitijibibo]

Brute after killing MC: "The Demon's head will make a worthy trophy!"

Indeed brute... indeed...

[MNC]

HBO has the first batch of dialogue recorded, so if anyone wants to listen to some without booting up the game, go check it out.

http://nikon.bungie.org/misc/h3dialogue.html

[Rosco]

I jacked a ghost whilst it was moving and I heard a marine shout ghost ride the wip.

lmfao

[ExAm]

I jacked a ghost whilst it was moving and I heard a marine shout ghost ride the wip.

lmfaoI don't get it :/

[jngrow]

It's a rap/hip-hop/ghetto pop culture thing.
YPNJjL9iznY

[nooBBooze]

^
now THATS some epic lulz. XD

[sdavis117]

Grunt (http://imdb.com/name/nm1365150/): We make fire... sing songs. Call it camp.
---------
Marine Sergeant (http://imdb.com/name/nm1005647/): Fall in over here!
Marine (http://imdb.com/name/nm0189144/): Yeah, you got it. Will there be snacks?
-------------
Marine Sergeant (http://imdb.com/name/nm1005647/): Grenades are like RAM - you can never have too much.
---------
Marine: What's on your back, a toilet?
------------
Arbiter (http://imdb.com/name/nm0202966/): We must go. The Brutes have our scent.
Sergeant Johnson (http://imdb.com/name/nm0780266/): Then they must love the smell of Bulgari. Yeah that's right I'm doing a little bit of product placement, I gotta make a living too you know?

[Jay2645]

Grunt: His poop survived!
Stacker: Conserve ammo. Run them over.
Stacker: Are you sure you're licensed to drive one of these?
Marine (After handing him Spartan Laser): Time to own some noobs! *Makes Spartan Laser sounds with his mouth*

[ima_from_America]

A funny one
Marine: I hear that their main weakness is for bananas. We got any bananas?
Marine: (After telling him to get out of the driver's seat of a vehicle) Oh, I don't even know why I got in on this side!

[jngrow]

Marine: Merry Christmas.

I heard it today, dunno if its just in there or if it knows the date.

[TeeKup]

Marine: Someone shave this one and see if it's a lady!!

And I could have sworn I heard an elite say:

"Your ass is mine!!!"

[ExAm]

What, you haven't heard an elite trying to mimic a human saying before?

It's like the vorts in HL2: "The freeman shall now break out his pheropods, and toss one into yonder pit"

[Longshot]

Marine: "We're taking names and kicking ass!. Then we're kicking the names asses!"