Most epic story ever.

[Hurrvish]

This is the story of Bruiser, a street sweeper from the SomethingAwful forums. (http://www.subkamran.com/sa/sa%20-%20bruiser.pdf)

The story is in a PDF format, 120 pages.

I can guarantee that all of it is epic.

[Tweek]

old.

i think it's been posted here before.
not in pdf format though.
i know i've read it.

if it's not been posted, :hurr:

[Con]

wow, this is pretty epic so far. *saves to HD*

[Kalub]

This is awesome, I'm on page 62

[Emmzee]

Awesome, but ridiculously old.

e: Wow, this was my 3000th post! Thanks for the PM Connie :v

[Dr Nick]

Fortunately for people like me without a subscription, this is great!

[OmegaDragon]

It was posted by me a few months ago in the clipboard thread, but it never had it's own thread. It's an epic story of love, adventure, revenge, transvestite hookers, mad raccoons, burning street cleaners, nacho cheese, and getting dressed up like a spartan with flares to scare high goths at night.

Bruiser=:awesome:

They should make that into a movie. It would be awesome.

[Kalub]

Jesus! I just finished it, and man it was more than EPIC. If I could sum it up into words I would, but I cant so...


If this is ever put into a book, I would certainly buy 3 copies. Thanks for the thread.

[Con]

I agree, thanks for the repost, because I've never seen this before.

[Boba]

the story of me stealing the constitution is epicer

[Con]

do tell :O

[FRain]

Holy shit.

Fucking epic.


Just finished it. Definitely worth the 120 page read.

[Amit]

HOLY SHIT! this really is the most epic story comprised of short chapters. I'm on page 13 now but i'm gonna go screw around wit the the CryEngine2 Sandbox 2 now. Really, thank you for this splendid set of reading. :worship:

[Sever]

It was side-splittingly hilarious yet intensely gripping at the same time. Acts of righteousness have never been so comical and necessary. I will be recommending this to every one of my friends on xfire, all of my local friends and co-workers, and my mother (yes, my mother - she used to work a similar job, so she'll be quite amused). Simply put, this is an epically necessary read.

[Zeph]

Oh God, this is epic.

[Kornman00]

I didn't think I was going to read 5 pages of it, let alone finish it.

Fucking epic.

[Boba]

do tell :O
Sorry, it's X-rated. I'll tell you if you come down to my basement, though...

[rossmum]

Holy shit this is awesome.

[Dr Nick]

I just finished it, someone should make a movie about it!

[Zeph]

I just about cried. I must be a fucking panzy. But I dont think it would be a good movie. It's just too epic. Such epicness can only be read.

[Dr Nick]

I just about cried. I must be a fucking panzy. But I dont think it would be a good movie. It's just too epic. Such epicness can only be read.
You're no panzy, I almost shed a tear too. Anyway, time to sleep. G'night all!

[Reaper Man]

o_o. Epic story.

[Archon23]

Really I'm speechless. Hell I don't know if Epic even begins to describe it. :o

[rossmum]

JESUS CHRIST PAGE 37 IS GOLD.

[Kalub]

@Ross:

Protip: Its all GOLD

:)

[rossmum]

Yeah, but I was literally crying my eyes out with laughter at that point. Ditto 66 and 67.

[Kalub]

I think the best part is when:

He dresses up as the centurion and crashes the goth party

XD

[rossmum]

Who the fuck wouldn't?

[Con]

This needs to be made into a book, or a movie, or a TV series.

also, love the :awesome: raccoon

[Skiiran]

THEY TRADE YOUR ASS TO TYRONE FOR A PACK OF LUCKY STRIKE'S. TYRONE LIKES TO DANCE. DO YOU LIKE TO DANCE?

Oh God, this needs to be immortalized in some fashion.

EDIT: Fred and Jim = :awesome:

[Hurrvish]

:hist101: :tinfoil: :tinfoil: :tinfoil: http://sa.tweek.us/emots/images/emot-flame.gif






:cop: http://sa.tweek.us/emots/images/emot-bigtran.gif

[Kornman00]

I love the excessive use of those emoticons

[Abdurahman]

MOST FUCKING EPIC STORY EVER!!!

[teh lag]

Epic indeed. Best story ever.

[Syuusuke]

Best.
Ever.
4 Thumbs up, including my friend's.

[Emmzee]

Fake.

[Rob Oplawar]

Wow that bit with the cigar box at the end really caught me off guard. Thanks for reposting. I almost didn't read it but then decided I had nothing better to do...
Anyway, yeah, it was a very good read. Epic doesn't tell the half of it.

[Mass]

Fucking epic, it was hilarious, touching, and satisfying.

You could really identify with Bruiser, he deals with shit and comes out on top, I fealt like he was the kind of man I want to be.

Anyone who thinks it is too long and hasn't read it yet needs to read it. Probably the best thing I've read on the interwebs to date.

[Amit]

I read up to page 49. OMG page 37 is the single most fucking hilarious piece of shit in all history of the universe! Also, nice going with Jen man:hump: jkz.

[Dr Nick]

Fake."You must spread some more rep around before giving it to Emmzee again."

[IPBJT!]

Just finished reading it. Holy shit that was an awesome story. The part with the goth was the best imo.

[Dole]

I am fucking printing this out, page for page. Limited ink and/or paper resources are not a priority. I will never leave home without this handbook.

Bruiser. Movie. Now.

[Random]

I am fucking printing this out, page for page. Limited ink and/or paper resources are not a priority. I will never leave home without this handbook.

Bruiser. Movie. Now.

Its copywrited



copyright ©2007 Bruiser. All Rights Reserved.


And I don't think it would make a good movie. Who ever makes the movie would try to make it funnier and ruin it. Furthermore it starts and stops too much that it would feel like a bunch of random clips.

[Sever]

Then just make it a bunch of random clips - correction a bunch of random EPIC CLIPS!

[Kornman00]

It may be copyrighted but there is no disclaimer about reproducing it for personal use :cop:

[FRain]

Best quote eva:


and the only description of this voice would be if Charlton Heston, Prince and Barry White all jerked off into a turkey baster and artificially inseminated Weezy Jefferson while toking up on a crack pipe in addition to snorting a mixture of Meth and fiberglass, this would be the fucked up mutant bastard child's voice.


:awesome:

[Dole]

Its copywrited
Someone obviously didn't read up to the last page.

[Random]

Someone obviously didn't read up to the last page.

Yah I posted that at around pg 94. Anyhow you or I still can't make a movie for any gain without his permission.

[CN3089]

How did this thread go on this long without the obligatory link (http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2411937)? http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c251/CN3089/Emoticons/confused.gif

[Amit]

How did this thread go on this long without the obligatory link (http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2411937)? http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c251/CN3089/Emoticons/confused.gif

Because it's just that Epic, maybe?

[Sever]

... And because its clearly displayed on the document's title page....

[Amit]

I just finished reading this work of {insert epicness here} and hell...I think I almost respect you more than my own parents. :downs: My respects to your Not What You Were Expecting chapters.

[Syuusuke]

Moar moar moar!

I need to think of a way to get this in my Zune...

hmm

[Hurrvish]

Record yourself while reading the story out loud.

Then post it here for lulz

[Amit]

Record yourself while reading the story out loud.

Then post it here for lulz

Most of the story was pure lulz for me

[Rob Oplawar]

No, spoken words cannot capture this level of epic.

Better to share it in the form of...
Interpretive Dance!
:hyper: