My Afternoon

[Rob Oplawar]

So this is the way I've decided to spend my 1000th post. By complaining about a shitty afternoon. Lol.





So, most of my day went really smoothly. I learned a bunch, I finished my labs early, I had an ok breakfast and a nice lunch, and my afternoon started out pretty well.

So now I'll jump back a couple of days. On Monday I went to fix myself a sandwich, and I discovered a very strong, very putrid smell in my pantry. I dug around a bit, and I discovered this:

http://www.spacebrick.net/pictures/blog_gallery/omfgbread.jpg

Yes, there's a loaf of bread underneath all that mold. But to be quite honest, that's not really all that bad. I mostly just laughed about it, took a picture, and then threw it away.

Fast forward back to today. Like on Monday, I decided to make a sandwich for dinner. I went to the pantry, and discovered that not only did the smell linger, but it grew stronger and more offensive than ever...




Since I told WoL what happened next over AIM, I'll stick the conversation here, since it's got built in dramatic pauses and canned audience reactions:



Rob Oplawar (7:23:00 PM): and i thought to myself, oh shit, there's more of them?
Rob Oplawar (7:23:09 PM): so I started moving around loaves of bread
Rob Oplawar (7:23:17 PM): digging my way down through them
Rob Oplawar (7:23:29 PM): all of them half eaten, you know, just a few slices left each

Wave of Lag (7:23:33 PM): oh wow

Rob Oplawar (7:23:37 PM): but none of them moldy yet
Rob Oplawar (7:23:41 PM): so i keep diggin
Rob Oplawar (7:23:57 PM): and as i'm almost to the bottom, i realize to my horror that some of the bags are now wet
Rob Oplawar (7:24:02 PM): it's like, wtf is this shit?!
Rob Oplawar (7:24:08 PM): so i get to the bottom
Rob Oplawar (7:24:13 PM): and there at the bottom of my pantry
Rob Oplawar (7:24:17 PM): is a bag of potatoes
Rob Oplawar (7:24:26 PM): they have been there so long
Rob Oplawar (7:24:36 PM): that they have started to seriously decompose

Wave of Lag (7:24:45 PM): oh my god

Rob Oplawar (7:24:48 PM): to the point where half of their mass had liquefied

Wave of Lag (7:24:59 PM): woah

Rob Oplawar (7:25:04 PM): you know how a stick of butter looks when you melt it on a frying pan?
Rob Oplawar (7:25:14 PM): the top of it is perfectly butter shaped
Rob Oplawar (7:25:20 PM): but the bottom is all oozing around?
Rob Oplawar (7:25:24 PM): well yeah

Wave of Lag (7:25:27 PM): oh wow

Rob Oplawar (7:25:30 PM): that's how these potatoes looked
Rob Oplawar (7:26:26 PM): so yeah
Rob Oplawar (7:26:28 PM): i saw this
Rob Oplawar (7:26:39 PM): and i just stared at them for a few seconds, in disbelief

Wave of Lag (7:26:50 PM): didja take a pic

Rob Oplawar (7:26:53 PM): they were fuzzy on top, and completely liquid on bottom
Rob Oplawar (7:26:58 PM): and then
Rob Oplawar (7:27:00 PM): the smell
Rob Oplawar (7:27:15 PM): it hit me so hard and so fast that i threw up on the kitchen floor right there
Rob Oplawar (7:27:37 PM): so that sucked

Wave of Lag (7:27:52 PM): oh wow
Wave of Lag (7:27:55 PM): :O

Rob Oplawar (7:28:04 PM): so i cleaned up the puke as fast as i could, trying not to puke again, since now i had puke on the floor to deal with in addition to the smell
Rob Oplawar (7:28:14 PM): and then i took all the bread out
Rob Oplawar (7:28:26 PM): and any loaf that was more than a week old i threw away
Rob Oplawar (7:28:34 PM): and then i picked up the bag of potatoes
Rob Oplawar (7:29:05 PM): and the portions that hadn't melted looked perfectly solid, but it turned out they had only retained their shape because they hadn't been touched in months
Rob Oplawar (7:29:15 PM): and they immediately oozed out everywhere

Wave of Lag (7:29:39 PM): oh god thats fucking gross

Rob Oplawar (7:29:53 PM): and the bacterial cultures that had been growing inside their now practically hollowed out interiors escaped into fresh air
Rob Oplawar (7:30:37 PM): and i dropped the bag in shock at the fact that the smell could possibly get any stronger, and the bag squirted me with bacterial potato juice

Wave of Lag (7:30:51 PM): OHHH SICK

Rob Oplawar (7:30:56 PM): and this time i made it to the bathroom before i emptied the rest of the material in my stomach

Wave of Lag (7:32:09 PM): eew

Rob Oplawar (7:32:15 PM): so once i was done puking out my guts, i threw everything away, mopped up as much as i could with paper towels, squirted everything with about 5 gallons of anti-bacterial cleaner, and cleaned it all up
Rob Oplawar (7:32:18 PM): as fast as i could
Rob Oplawar (7:32:33 PM): and the only reason i didn't throw up again was because there was nothing left in my stomach
Rob Oplawar (7:32:41 PM): so to answer your question, no, i did not get a picture of it

Wave of Lag (7:32:45 PM): oh man
Wave of Lag (7:32:48 PM): you shouldaa
Wave of Lag (7:32:50 PM): im sorry
Wave of Lag (7:32:54 PM): are you feeling alright

Rob Oplawar (7:32:55 PM): i got that shit out of my apartment as fast as i fucking could
Rob Oplawar (7:33:06 PM): then
Rob Oplawar (7:33:26 PM): i bought air fresheners and scattered them around, and boiled a bunch of water with sticks of cinnamon
Rob Oplawar (7:33:35 PM): and used even more cleaner
Rob Oplawar (7:33:39 PM): and now?
Rob Oplawar (7:34:15 PM): my apartment smells like rotting potatoes, copious amounts of cleaner, enough air freshener to gag a pig, and a touch of fresh cinnamon


There's probably a moral to this story. I'm sure it has something to do with cleaning out the pantry, or something, but I don't really pay attention to morals. It's not like it matters anyway, because I've been exposed to it- hell, I got some of it on my legs. It's only a matter of time before I'm consumed by flesh eating bacteria and left half melted and hollow like the potatoes.

[Bad Waffle]

yeah, dats gross

[Syuusuke]

You should have put it up on Ebay =)

[LlamaMaster]

You just made my day. :lmao: (first post)

[Boba]

sounds like a hot afternoon

[Hotrod]

That sounds disgusting.

[rossmum]

Oh shit.

Sounds like my old school bag before I finally upended the thing over a bin and took to it with the garden hose and a bottle of detergent.

[DrunkenSamus]

The smell was that bad? Geez, I thought a jar of dirt and worms sitting on a shelf for a month was the worst it could get. But....no.

[rossmum]

The smell was that bad? Geez, I thought a jar of dirt and worms sitting on a shelf for a month was the worst it could get. But....no.
Wow, you've had it easy.

Anyone ever had decomposing rats stuck in the roofspace near the air con vents? Or burning rubber, particularly latex? When my sister was still on the bottle, one of the latex nipples in the dishwasher fell down onto the hot metal and started melting, shit that reeked.

[Sever]

Try post office fumes + melting industrial rubber + stale and molding cardboard + attic. For eight hours.

I work as a mover, and we had a job moving a bunch of dilapidated boxes from an attic above a post office/house on a +100°F day.

[Con]

Argh, that's gross Rob :gonk:

I wish you'd gotten some pics

[n00b1n8R]

why would you have a bunch of half eaten loaf's? finish one at a time mr wastefull :p

that made me feel sick just by reading it >.>

[Con]

Now I dare you to go into the garbage and eat a couple of the potatoes :downs:

[Agamemnon]

Are you conducting an experiment, O'Neill?

[ICEE]

Rob Oplawar (7:25:04 PM): you know how a stick of butter looks when you melt it on a frying pan?
Rob Oplawar (7:25:14 PM): the top of it is perfectly butter shaped
Rob Oplawar (7:25:20 PM): but the bottom is all oozing around?
Rob Oplawar (7:25:24 PM): well yeah

Wave of Lag (7:25:27 PM): oh wow

Rob Oplawar (7:25:30 PM): that's how these potatoes looked
Rob Oplawar (7:26:26 PM): so yeah
Rob Oplawar (7:26:28 PM): i saw this
Rob Oplawar (7:26:39 PM): and i just stared at them for a few seconds, in disbelief
the descriptiveness! i litterally became queezy reading this

so i thought i'd post it for more of you to get queezy

[Bodzilla]

Meh i've had some nasty stuff in my fridge.

i just went over to Red vs blue ad Dug through the Journals trying to find the Pictures of it.

turns out i deleted them off Photo bucket not long ago :gonk:

[Mass]

That is quite disgusting, is there anyone else here who is made vomitous by the smell of other people's vomit?

Also, on the subject of bad smells, in my experience, it is in your best interest to empty sprung mousetraps as soon as you can.

P.S. Clean your pantry, bro

[dg]

Wow, that is by far the most interesting story I've heard all day. So 'grats on finding liquefied nightmares in your pantry, I guess!

Also, never tell it again. Once is quite enough. :)

[nooBBooze]

Dood, there´s mold on your pot.

Nah but srsly, thats nasty.

[Zeph]

It might have been mold spreading from the bread, but I have never known potatoes to do that. My family typically keeps a potato around the kitchen for years. We keep it sitting until it shrivels up and starts to sprout buds. A good while after that, we stick it in some water and it grows.

[Mass]

It might have been mold spreading from the bread, but I have never known potatoes to do that. My family typically keeps a potato around the kitchen for years. We keep it sitting until it shrivels up and starts to sprout buds. A good while after that, we stick it in some water and it grows.
It didn't get any light and therefore rotted instead of growing, I think.

[n00b1n8R]

It didn't get any light and therefore rotted instead of growing, I think.

because we all know seeds need light :downs:
you know those buds you get on potato's? the're little roots.

[Mr Buckshot]

Why the hell do you buy so many loaves of bread at the same time? My family limits ourselves to ONE loaf at a time, and no new loaves are bought until the previous loaf is finished. Bread is not like candy or cookies - it must be eaten within at least a week of purchase.

Seriously, that's a lot of grocery money down the drain. All that food wastage that resulted from careless buying is more sickening that the rotting itself.

[Rob Oplawar]

oh I know. But don't look at me- most of them were my roommate's bread.
I do limit myself to one loaf at a time, but my roommate likes a different kind of bread, so he gets his and I get mine. The real reason they stayed there so long is because it's hard to eat a loaf of bread by yourself before it goes bad, and we knew they went bad each time, so we picked up new loaves at the store, but forgot to remove the old ones from the pantry.

But I have learned my lesson, and will endeavor to finish the loaf before it spoils, and remove it from the pantry if I am too slow.