Your Smoothest Moment

[flibitijibibo]

Seeing as we're on the Internet, we can automatically assume that we have all done something really awkward or embarrassing in front of the opposite sex at least once or twice. Post your smoothest moment here.

When I was in a Spanish class, we were doing these dialogues right? For those who don't know, it's basically just a conversation in Spanish about whatever it is you're learning about. I had forgotten about this, so I rushed over to our comp lab and made a quick/shitty conversation in like, 5 minutes. Out of habit, I also ended up saving it to the network drive. I printed it, and ran to the class going "phew, close call".

Now, for this specific dialogue, I was assigned to work with this girl that I had liked for some time. She didn't really know me yet, so I was hoping that I could make a good impression with this assignment. It was a pretty funny dialogue, so what could go wrong?

Well, because I saved it, I had to make a filename, obviously. I had forgotten that the filename is printed when you print a .txt file, so until we were looking at the paper together I hadn't seen the big "TITS" posted at the top of our assignment. Woopsy Daisy.

[Con]

<_< That's pretty funny

[n00b1n8R]

I lol'd hard.

I'm fucking badass with the ladys tbh, I'll have to make a list some time xD

[Phobias]

Hmm...I asked a girl out and got the respones "sorry...I'm a lesbian" .
That count?

Can't really think of anything atm, will edit if I come up with a better memory D:

[Terry]

I never really "mess up" with the ladies. I'm pretty careful around them.
However, there was this time when I accidently (I swear) walked into the same girl's boobs twice on the same day.

[n00b1n8R]

what a shame ross is banned, he has quite a few tales to tell :-3

[Rosco]

what a shame ross wanted to be banned, he has quite a few tales to tell :-3


We know of some of them. :p

[nooBBooze]

I accidentally called a (now not so - but for other reasons) good friend of mine an ugly bitch (and she really WAS rather chubby). While i thougt it was approprtiate cause we were just screwing around (not what ur thinkin) right before that and she called me much more offensive names (graveyard wankster, wreath [anis lol] licker), it turned out that my reply was a buzzkill.
yeah we didnt talk for like a week and after i apologized for the 100+time and bought her a muffin (ironymeter beyond scale O_o) she forgave me.

Is that what u call smoth? cos idk.

[LlamaMaster]

Imagine what she would of done for an entire cake. 0_o



....not that anybody would want whatever that is. :gonk:

[Limited]

Awkward moment last week, I was in kitchen and just got back from drinking, felt really bad and went to puke up over the door (dunno why the door) and a really hot girl came in at that time. Puked all over her chest, me being an idiot and drunk started to wipe it off her chest, she looked blankly at me. So awkward, thank god she was wasted otherwise she would have gone crazy.

[Amit]

Awkward moment last week, I was in kitchen and just got back from drinking, felt really bad and went to puke up over the door (dunno why the door) and a really hot girl came in at that time. Puked all over her chest, me being an idiot and drunk started to wipe it off her chest, she looked blankly at me. So awkward, thank god she was wasted otherwise she would have gone crazy.

You think you would have gotten some if you didn't ralph on her chest?

[paladin]

I farted during the Chemistry final.

[Hotrod]

Some of these are pretty funny. Yeah, I used to act really differently (as in weirdly) when I was around girls, but now, I've gotten better at it. i can't really think of any "smooth" moments right now though.

[Huero]

I got framed for poking a girl's ass
and then the next week(today actually) brushed up against it three times on accident >:

[Con]

conscars sucks with the ladies

nuf said

edit: that doesn't mean I suck like a lady, sickos <:mad:>

[Stormwing]

conscars sucks with the ladies

nuf said

edit: that doesn't mean I suck like a lady, sickos <:mad:>
you just suck together with'em amirite :eyesroll:


smoothest moments? I try to stay away from getting myself in those situations, so nothing really comes to mind...

[Emmzee]

On Wednesday, I was talking to my girlfriend about something trivial, and it got boring, so I changed the subject.

About Global Orgasm. (http://www.globalorgasm.org/)

I explained it to her, and then asked if she was busy Saturday.

Boy, that was stupid. The only orgasm I'll be having is the one I'll be wanking out of my hand.

[Con]

lol emz, that's pretty bad >_>

[n00b1n8R]

Emmzee, where the fuck do you find these things >_>



WHY? To effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible instantaneous surge of human biological, mental and spiritual energy.

:lol:

[Limited]

You think you would have gotten some if you didn't ralph on her chest?Things are compilcated between me and her. Perhaps, wouldnt say no ;)

Also, Emz, haha nice try at least, thanks for the topic started now though.

[Atty]

My first kiss with the girl I fell the hardest for, I still cringe when I think about how stupid I was. God, fucking retard.

[Emmzee]

My first kiss with the girl I fell the hardest for, I still cringe when I think about how stupid I was. God, fucking retard.
Damn, that just plain sucks.

[Amit]

My first kiss with the girl I fell the hardest for, I still cringe when I think about how stupid I was. God, fucking retard.

What?! Please explain so this doesn't happen to me! D:

[TeeKup]

I lol'd hard.

I'm fucking badass with the ladys tbh, I'll have to make a list some time xD

Rofl you're so full of shit.

I was caught making out with my boyfriend by my over religious relatives.

[Con]

I was caught making out with anthony by my over religious relatives.

lol, what'd they say?

[TeeKup]

lol, what'd they say?

"Joshua James Fisher!!! What on gods green earth are you doing!?"

My god that whole situation was awkward.

[Bad Waffle]

Rofl you're so full of shit.

I was caught making out with my boyfriend by my over religious relatives.

thats....uh...

*awkward silence*

BobaTheFett76 (2:50:38 PM): http://www.h2vista.net/forums/showpost.php?p=203152&postcount=25
BobaTheFett76 (2:50:42 PM): *awkward silence*
Wave of Lag (2:51:06 PM): *another awkward silence because he doesnt know what to say either*
BobaTheFett76 (2:51:50 PM): *backs up slowly and then starts sprinting*
Wave of Lag (2:52:08 PM): *catches up and then hops into the car and hits the gas*
BobaTheFett76 (2:52:58 PM): *yells "SHIT SHIT GOGO GOG OGO" was he jumps through the window genral-lee style*
Wave of Lag (2:53:52 PM): *burns out, goes down the street, hits a ramp and breaks through a huge glass window landing in a classroom full of 1st graders*
BobaTheFett76 (2:54:11 PM): JUST THE GOOD 'OL BOYS
Wave of Lag (2:54:15 PM): YEPPAH!
BobaTheFett76 (2:54:30 PM): we just turned a weird situation into something awesome

[TeeKup]

Weird?

The world isn't black and white Wave. :I

[Bad Waffle]

dammit teekie, what do you want me to say?

"Wow teekie, i bet you and your boyfriend had some great sex last night! OHOHO!"

THIS IS NOT A SMOOTH MOMENT IN ITSELF.

[TeeKup]

dammit teekie, what do you want me to say?

How about nothing at all?


THIS IS NOT A SMOOTH MOMENT IN ITSELF.

Yes it is.:lol:

[n00b1n8R]

Rofl you're so full of shit.

My post was dripping with sarcasm if you couldn't tell ;)

[TeeKup]

My post was dripping with sarcasm if you couldn't tell ;)

Sorry, I've had a few egg nogs.:p

[Bodzilla]

Rofl you're so full of shit.

I was caught making out with my boyfriend by my over religious relatives.
lmao.

now that is Smooth.

[StankBacon]

heh, i have alot of pretty stupid moments..

one that really stick out right now tho..

i was at a party at my friends house, and was pretty fucking hammered...

i was talking to this girl, and i was holding my cup just talking...

all of the sudden i felt the cup slip out of my hand a little, so as a reaction, with my other hand i went real fast to grab it, but insted i just hit it out of my hand and spille the beer all over her.. lol..

needless to say i was pretty embarrassed and walked away in shame.

[Flyboy]

Smoothest moment happened just last week. I was at All-Stars for swimming and I was talking to two girls on the team I've known for a while. I forget the subject but I ended up saying something like: "You, bla bla bla" and I pointed to her when I said that. I was about to say something along the same lines to the girl on my right but when I pointed I ended up touching her boob.

lulz.

[Masterz1337]

Rofl you're so full of shit.

I was caught making out with my boyfriend by my over religious relatives.

So this evoks no emotions whatsoever?


http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/04_02/AlbaDM2604_468x597.jpg

[Monopoly]

So this evoks no emotions whatsoever?


http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/04_02/AlbaDM2604_468x597.jpg

You had to pick the worst picture of her :fail:

[CrAsHOvErRide]

ewww is that the craptastic 4 girl?

[MNC]

"EWWW"!? DID YOU JUST FUCKING SAID "EEWWW" TO HOLY FREAKING JESSICA ALBA?!

Yousonofafuckingbitchhowdareyoumotherfuckershittys hithead!! Are you freaking insane?

http://temple3.files.wordpress.com/2007/05/jessica-alba-wallpapers-3.jpg

I had to. It's to calm my nerves a bit.

[Flyboy]

"EWWW"!? DID YOU JUST FUCKING SAID "EEWWW" TO HOLY FREAKING JESSICA ALBA?!
Yousonofafuckingbitchhowdareyoumotherfuckershittys hithead!! Are you freaking insane?
I had to. It's to calm my nerves a bit.
You and I my friend, are on same page.

[CrAsHOvErRide]

you guys come back when you have more than 3 hairs on your balls...get a life + gf

[MNC]

Oh hush you little boy, you know I was kidding. How dare you say ew though, she's fucking attractive.

[Sel]

you guys come back when you have more than 3 hairs on your balls...get a life + gf

I have 4 hairs on my balls, can I come back :3

[Flyboy]

you guys come back when you have more than 3 hairs on your balls...get a life + gf
Your saying I can't like Jessica Alba if I have more than three ball hairs? Or if I have a girlfriend...well did.

[Apoc4lypse]

meh none in particular I can think of, but I really never have any good experiences with women, idk why... when I do its rare, and doesn't last long.

Could say my whole life is my smoothest moment... :lol:

I'm a loser when it comes to girls. : |

[Bodzilla]

I have 4 hairs on my balls, can I come back :3
no

u just cum on backs :-3

[Sel]

[16:20] LlamaMaster (llamaboy772): "I have 4 hairs on my balls, can I come back :3"
[16:20] LlamaMaster (llamaboy772): stop lieing


Fine Llama blew it for me. I have many hairs on my balls, and the only reason llama knows is because they were in his face for the better part of a week :>

[LlamaMaster]

:gonk:

[n00b1n8R]

HEADSHOT!
FATALITY!

[Emmzee]

meh none in particular I can think of, but I really never have any good experiences with women, idk why... when I do its rare, and doesn't last long.
There are pills for that.

[Apoc4lypse]

There are pills for that.

lmao... suppose I shuddah kept that problem to my self :embarrassed:

[Skiiran]

There are pills Teeks for that.
Fixed.

[Emmzee]

My smoothest moment was this one time when I was going down on my girlfriend, and right before I took the plunge, I said, "OM NOM NOM NOM."

She lol'd.

[PlasbianX]

My smoothest moment was this one time when I was going down on my boyfriend, and right before I took it up the arse, I said, "OM NOM NOM NOM."

He lol'd.

Gotta admit that is funny :lol:

[Emmzee]

Gotta admit that is funny :lol:
I see what you did there.

[legionaire45]

I was drawing a katana and this one girl sitting in front of me asked what the grip was. I realized that upside down my katana looked like an awkwardly long penis :saddowns:.

[Neuro Guro]

-

[JDMFSeanP]

I told a mexican joke today at lunch without realizing there was a whole table of them sitting behind me.

[Phopojijo]

My smoothest moments involve erotic fruits and exotic lubricants.An Apple Pie?

[n00b1n8R]

My smoothest moment was this one time when I was going down on my girlfriend, and right before I took the plunge, I said, "OM NOM NOM NOM."

She lol'd.
I do not believe you have a girlfriend. Enjoy going down on your mum.
/troll

[Bodzilla]

Warning:
snappy comeback inbound!

**ABORT MISSION**
**ABORT MISSION**

[Random]

Do a barrel roll

[itszutak]

TO GET US BACK ON TOPIC---

my smoothest movement? Pretty much every post I made at gearbox forums. :|

[Skiiran]

Dumb Girl: "I heard that my grandmother was for Sarkozy and like because he was gonna do something about the Jews."
Me: "I heard you should shut your illiterate whore mouth before you unwittingly make the class hate you for your racism."

[Pope]

There was this one time I was like "HMMM maybe that shick quatro bullshit really works..." So I tried it. Here we are fucking smooth as shit man. I applied the cream and it just glided upon my face. Still rubbing it right now. FUCKING SMOOTH.

[Kornman00]

There was this one time I was like "HMMM maybe that shick quatro bullshit really works..." So I tried it. Here we are fucking smooth as shit man. I applied the cream and it just glided upon my face. Still rubbing it right now. FUCKING SMOOTH.
:lol: u r punny +rep

[PlasbianX]

There was this one time I was like "HMMM maybe that shick quatro bullshit really works..." So I tried it. Here we are fucking smooth as shit man. I applied the cream and it just glided upon my face. Still rubbing it right now. FUCKING SMOOTH.

I dont get it? :(

[Sel]

I dont get it? :(

Replace face, with balls, and you will know why he is still shaving/rubbing.

[paladin]

I told a mexican joke today at lunch without realizing there was a whole table of them sitting behind me.

Same, only a black joke, with my half black teacher standing right behind me...

[Con]

I did that once. I was in my SS class talking about how much I hated my English teacher and how much of a bitch she was, but she was actually standing behind me the whole time.

"oh, hi miss bruno >_>"

[MNC]

watching pr0n while you have msn on and the show what music I am listening tag. Almost, just ALMOST.