Kornman00
January 13th, 2008, 07:45 PM
Thats the subject of an email I go, apparently someone is in a dire need for some answers to some questions. So I thought I would answer them
Can you cry under water?How else would you cry me a river
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?IDK, ever play Assassin's Creed?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"… but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?Advice tax bitch
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?That depends, are you in hell?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?Its a little known fact that pizzas are shaped in a square. Just the delivery man is always poorly tipped so he takes his share out of your pizza
What disease did cured ham actually have?AIDS
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?Because every year man gets lazier
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?Ever give a baby some booze?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?Oh shut the fuck up.
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?Because porn started out in movies then in the 70s, the moved on to TVs
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?Not a bright crowd, are we?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.They have to change their condoms\eat their pill
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?You have three outlets down there don't ya?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?So they could film that one scene in The Bourne Identity (or whatever the hell one it was)
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?Why do you care :-3?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?...thats brilliant
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?Because making a radio is like rocket science. Fixing a hole would be bellow his expertise. durrrr
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!Evolution :eng101:
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?hey, leave Coyote out of this <:mad:>
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?babi-OH SHIT :gonk:
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?:lol:, you got me there
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?:|
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?I didn't...
<_<
>_>
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?He hates your stupidity for blowing the wrong head
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place? Do you ever wonder why I asked for your home address while I was at the gun shop?
It was amusing for a few minutes for me anyway
Can you cry under water?How else would you cry me a river
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?IDK, ever play Assassin's Creed?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"… but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?Advice tax bitch
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?That depends, are you in hell?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?Its a little known fact that pizzas are shaped in a square. Just the delivery man is always poorly tipped so he takes his share out of your pizza
What disease did cured ham actually have?AIDS
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?Because every year man gets lazier
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?Ever give a baby some booze?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?Oh shut the fuck up.
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?Because porn started out in movies then in the 70s, the moved on to TVs
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?Not a bright crowd, are we?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.They have to change their condoms\eat their pill
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?You have three outlets down there don't ya?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?So they could film that one scene in The Bourne Identity (or whatever the hell one it was)
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?Why do you care :-3?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?...thats brilliant
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?Because making a radio is like rocket science. Fixing a hole would be bellow his expertise. durrrr
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!Evolution :eng101:
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?hey, leave Coyote out of this <:mad:>
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?babi-OH SHIT :gonk:
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?:lol:, you got me there
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?:|
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?I didn't...
<_<
>_>
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?He hates your stupidity for blowing the wrong head
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place? Do you ever wonder why I asked for your home address while I was at the gun shop?
It was amusing for a few minutes for me anyway