Emmzee: 1, Dumbass ricer: 0

[Emmzee]

C&P from Facepunch.

In December, I did this really neat trick with my old car (1993 Toyota Camry) that resulted in flames shooting out of the exhaust and the entire muffler falling off. As the car had an assload of miles on it, and it was a 15-year old car, it would cost too much to fix it relative to the overall worth of the car, so my parents decided to get me a new one. Luckily, a friend's uncle was selling a white 1981 Pontiac Firebird, a big fucking V8, 301 turbo monster with a modest 205 horsepower. I'm currently paying off the $400 my parents paid for it (it was surprisingly cheap and in good condition) in installments, plus 25% ($500 total).

Anyway, I was at school today, and some ricer shit came over to me and stated talking shit about how his '97 Civic with a VTEC could destroy my car. The conversation is something like this:

Me: "I sincerely doubt your shitty little 4-cylinder could touch my V8 in acceleration, and there's the fact that I have something like 50 more horsepower than you."

Ricer: "Whatever man, when I engage my Nos, you're gonna be eating rubber and shitting exhaust."

Me: "Really. Let's take a look at your 'ride,' shall we?"

We walked over to his car, and it had some shitty body mod on it, gauges that did nothing, etc. There was a Phantasm (type of muffler that makes your car sound "cool") and a Nos sticker on it. I looked through the trunk, and lo and behold, no Nitrous tanks. I did a thorough search of the car and found nothing resembling nitrous. Also, his muffler was clearly the standard muffler found on mid-90s Hondas and not a Phantasm at all.

Then, I looked under the hood. No VTEC. I already knew that, since his car was a Civic Del Sol S, which didn't have the VTEC. Just a regular old D16Y7 engine, which Google tells me has something like 92 horsepower.

Me: "That isn't a VTEC."

Ricer: "Yeah it is."

Me: "No, that is clearly not a VTEC. Furthermore, you're a dumbass for thinking it is."

Ricer: "Whatever, you're just jealous of my VTEC."

Me: "Even if you had a VTEC, you'd have only 127 horsepower."

Ricer: "Yeah, but I could still beat you."

Christ, does this guy know basic math?

Me: "Since when was 127 a larger number than 205?"

He then insulted me like a child and walked off to be with his ricer buddies. I left the parking lot that day feeling a great sense of accomplishment.
Discuss.

[Huero]

You should have raced him.
Challenge him next time :3

[FlyingStone]

You should have raced him.
Challenge him next time :3

I was hoping reading about how you totally owned him.
Still funny though, :)

[thehoodedsmack]

You go, girl!

[legionaire45]

I think the next time you see him you should tape a detailed sheet with the vehicle's specs on it so his little Ricer pals can see how shitty his car is. Unless of coarse they think the stickers make the car go faster. In which case I think they diserve a frying pan to the face.

Gj though. Ricers generally annoy the fuck out of me with their insistence that their shitty old $10,000-when-they-were-new Civics with $8,000 worth of Body kit, mufflers and stickers can outperform an actual muscle car.

[JDMFSeanP]

IF he had an Si he would probably beat you.

HP Doesn't equal acceleration TBH, torque decides that more.

PS Civic =/= Del Sol

[Emmzee]

PS Civic =/= Del Sol
I thought it was the Civic Del Sol...

At any rate, it was a Del Sol.

[Con]

god I hate ricers

[JDMFSeanP]

I thought it was the Civic Del Sol...

At any rate, it was a Del Sol.

That was only in its early years when the two car shared the same chassis, I believe it was 94 or 96 it became its own separate car.

Anyways, pics or it didn't happen.

[Emmzee]

That was only in its early years when the two car shared the same chassis, I believe it was 94 or 96 it became its own separate car.
It was a '97, which was the Civic Del Sol's last model year. So it was a Civic and a Del Sol.

[JDMFSeanP]

OMFG TWO RICERS IN ONE.

Pics of his car?

[Con]

whatever the case, it's an ugly car

[JDMFSeanP]

http://www.kris.1000lecie.pl/delsolpics2/220870_23_full.jpg

Example A: Sexy Del Sol

[Con]

Oh. That's not too bad. I was thinking this:

http://www.swaqvalley.com/Blueprints/1995_Honda_Civic_Del_Sol.jpg

[n00b1n8R]

Until today, I'd never heard the term "ricer".

I'm glad to have learned something. o/

[Boba]

since when do indians have cars

[JDMFSeanP]

Oh. That's not too bad. I was thinking this:

http://www.swaqvalley.com/Blueprints/1995_Honda_Civic_Del_Sol.jpg

It is that, just with a past gen civic front end conversion.

[DrunkenSamus]

since when do indians have cars

Since boobies were invented. How could you not know that?

[Mr Buckshot]

Ah, you and your performance cars. IMO, I'd much rather spend 10 grand on an ultra-reliable brand new Toyota Corolla than spend $400 on a used American car that's likely to fall apart any moment. As for why the Camry got owned by that "trick" you did - standard production Japanese cars are not meant for those things. You want a high performance vehicle with superb handling that can do good tricks without suffering internal damage? Get a German car.

Back on topic:
Ricer thinks 127 > 205? I LOL'ed. Even gangstas know better...I assume his car is painted to look like a wannabe muscle car? And LOL @ the "nitrous oxide" thing, which, by the way, is not recommended.

But as for whose car is more likely to break down...I think you know the answer.

Also engine size isn't all that matters. Weight and aerodynamics play a key factor. In Singapore, my dad used to have a Mercedes-Benz E280 V6 and it outperformed a V8-powered Nissan with ease.

My parents have two V8-powered large sedans. I'm sure your Pontiac Firebird could out-perform my dad's car simply because it's smaller and is actually built for speed.

[Atty]

Body mod and useless gauges are at least a 20HP boost, the stickers are at least 15HP each, and the fact that he's so confident gives him at least twice the already increased horsepower.

[Cortexian]

My dads got a nice old '71 Dodge Challenger (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dodge_Challenger) hardtop in storage for me... Says that once I come up with a thousand bucks, it's mine. It's got a nice 440 Sixpack in it, I'm glad, even though I have to fill the damn thing up with gas... I'll have to ask my dad if he stockpiled some of that to go with it >.>

Basically this:
http://www.nz440rt.com/71Deputy.jpg

Except he has the R/T side stripe as well:
http://www.transmissioncenter.net/DSCN0194.jpg

And yes, It's orange.

[Kalub]

Oh gawd...


*looks at cars*


Yup... I have a '82 Toyota Corola Tercel, it mainly focuses as my drive around carelessly busting through snow drifts and sliding around on ice. And then I have my old beat up '86 Honda Prelude 2.0 SI. Poor thing is a mess, before I owned it the front end got shifted atleast an inch to the passenger side resulting in fender damage, alignment problems, and the headlights don't go down. Oh well! It will still smoke any ricer around here, stupid old hatchback civics and accords... pfft


Moral: Sleepers, FTW

(Oh, I'll get pics someday for you guys too)

[Mr Buckshot]

This is the faster of two cars in my garage:

http://www.audiusa.com/etc/medialib/cms4imp/audi2/aoa/product/A6MY07/crops/exterior.Par.0221.Image.jpg

It's got a 4.2-liter V8 that outputs 350 horsepower through all four quattro-driven wheels (permanent all-wheel drive).

I don't know if the ricer's Honda could stand up to this

[p0lar_bear]

If I lived close by, I probably would have lent you my '92 Saturn SL2 for a race.

Completely unmodified (save for a new stereo), and according to Google, it has approx. 124 horses under the hood.

Dumbass ricer would have gotten his ass handed to him by a plain ole sedan, based on the figures I'm looking at here.

:haw:

[Jay2645]

And yet all I have is a Honda Civic...

Hey, NOS is expensive. I got the car for Christmas, so I'm still saving up money.

[alby]

This is the faster of two cars in my garage:

It's got a 4.2-liter V8 that outputs 350 horsepower through all four quattro-driven wheels (permanent all-wheel drive).

I don't know if the ricer's Honda could stand up to this

If that's a 2006 A6 4.2 then it has 330 HP.

I also have a story like yours Emmzee. This guy at my school has a 2004 S430 Mercedes Benz, which he claimed will kick the shit out of my Wagon.

In the end he lost and my wagon made me proud.

[SnaFuBAR]

ricers are crap. total crap. you want speed? power? edge of your seat, clench your nutsack power?

american muscle.

my friend and i built his roadrunner in my garage, and it outpaced a lamborghini.
all the community college kids and higschool seniors in my area thought they could whallop my jeep. too bad for them i was packing 215 hp and smoked svt's like overdone pancakes. after i beat them, i usually slowed down, stuck my arm out the window, and gave them the thumbs down.

MZ, by even being in the same parking lot as him, you owned him.

[nooBBooze]

Forgive me my ignorance but..erm..how do i put this?
um so the term "ricer" is intentended to offend asian people, right?
EDIT:nvm kthx XP

[n00b1n8R]

l2urbandictionary. (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ricer)

[p0lar_bear]

And yet all I have is a Honda Civic...

Hey, NOS is expensive. I got the car for Christmas, so I'm still saving up money.

Don't forget to give it a body kit, paint it some neon color, and then slap stickers all over it! :haw:

[Haloking365]

http://www.customclassicgto.com/images/customclassicgto/ACFRJGiVjaj1.jpg
My car, kthx. 'Cept its in blue.

/end thread


Also, props to owning the azn.

[Emmzee]

So this Saturday from about 7 to 10 I'm gonna be at the racetrack/dragway, and hopefully I'll be racing (and beating) some ricers.

I'll also get a chance to race with my friend's 1964 Fairlane Thunderbolt. 7.0 Liter V8, 500 HP. It is like sex in a car.
http://www.dealsonwheels.com/database/cars/225994big.jpg
His is gray.

[TeeKup]

1 more year, then the Challenger returns. I wouldn't mind having the 2009 Challenger. I also wouldn't mind having a Scion xD or a Dodge Calibur SRT4.

SRT4
http://www.theautochannel.com/news/2006/02/08/209970.1-lg.jpg

2009 Challenger
http://www.partstrain.com/images/The_Auto_Blog/Dodge-Challenger-Concept-12.jpg

Scion xD
http://images.businessweek.com/ss/07/02/0214_chicago/image/xd.jpg

[thehoodedsmack]

I think it's great that such aesthetically displeasing cars can outperform all the glitter and shine of today's rice-rockets.

[JDMFSeanP]

No offense directed at you Snaf, but I love kids that say they can/have beat Lamborghini's.

They are huge beasts that look badass, you don't buy a lambo to go fast. You buy one because your black and they are good for doing donuts with the doors open.

Want a car that will win in a straight line?

http://pictures.topspeed.com/IMG/crop-460x345/supra6_6w.jpg

There ya go.

[Emmzee]

In case you guys were wondering, this is almost exactly what my car looks like:
http://images.webkrafters.com/trinity/22500/81pont22532-A.JPG

[Jay2645]

My car will beat all of you.
http://www.garrysmod.com/wiki/images/thumb/9/99/Contraption_bathtub_car.jpg/800px-Contraption_bathtub_car.jpg

[Bastinka]

I got a '97 Jetta, it looks sorta like this..
http://www.concept1.ca/images/Shawn%20K%201997%20Jetta.jpg

[jngrow]

Body mod and useless gauges are at least a 20HP boost, the stickers are at least 15HP each, and the fact that he's so confident gives him at least twice the already increased horsepower.

Advice from a true expert. :lol:

[Cortexian]

1 more year, then the Challenger returns. I wouldn't mind having the 2009 Challenger.

2009 Challenger
http://www.partstrain.com/images/The_Auto_Blog/Dodge-Challenger-Concept-12.jpg

Yea, my dad's going to get rid of his Buick when that comes out, he won't be able to help himself... I wonder if he'll let me drive it >_>.

[CodeBrain]

My car will beat all of you.
http://www.garrysmod.com/wiki/images/thumb/9/99/Contraption_bathtub_car.jpg/800px-Contraption_bathtub_car.jpg

I agree with this post.

[Emmzee]

I believe this image is in order:

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/b/b1/Ricer.JPG/460px-Ricer.JPG

[Emmzee]

OK, I just got back from the racetrack. I won against a 1993 Honda Accord, a 1999 Toyota Corolla, and a 1990 Nissan 180SX. I lost to my friend's 1964 Ford Fairlane Thunderbolt, a 1983 Chevrolet Camaro (just barely), and a 2003 Chevrolet Corvette.

I beat the ricers guys.

[Tweek]

whats a ricer? :/

does it have to do with eating rice?

[Emmzee]

whats a ricer? :/

does it have to do with eating rice?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ricer

You're welcome.

[Kalub]

Holy shit.... your drawing looks like my car




Except... I got mine like that :D (see: awesome to drive around in, also... doesnt have fart pipe, or fake rims, and the sound system doesnt sound shitty.)


Ps. No.

[Mr Buckshot]

My mom's car can probably ram straight into all those racing cars Emmzee mentioned and destroy them all without being scratched.

4.2-liter V8 with 350 hp, state-of-the-art aerodynamic construction, and an aluminum frame = ownage.

My parents' other car (a Lexus LS 460 standard wheelbase) has a bigger engine but isn't built for performance.

But my car owns all ricers' cars:

http://www.johnlewis.com/jl_assets/product/230197965.jpg

I mean, it has one hp, with the h standing for human. Its plastic frame makes it lightweight and 100% fuel efficient.

[Emmzee]

My mom's car can probably ram straight into all those racing cars Emmzee mentioned and destroy them all without being scratched.
You know, except for the Fairlane, which is made out of steel. :eng101:

[Kalub]

Meh...


Spend 60K on a car for "luxury"

Spend 1.3K on a car for "awesome-ness"

You decide.

[Bodzilla]

Meh...


Spend 60K on a car for "luxury"

Spend 1.3K on a car for "awesome-ness"

You decide.
^ i agree with this post.

[Kalub]

Oh, and Buckshot


For as mush as you payed for that "state-of-the-art" vehicle, it better buff your shoes or something. Is all seriousness, I spent 500$ on my first car, an beat up old red toyota with silver racing stripes...


So far I've invested:
125$ for Tint
167$x2 for a set of tires (I killed one set)
0$ for 2x8" subs and amp (Awesome old lady gave them to me because I raked her lawn for free)
321$ for a set of 12" subs and amp
216$ for a set of 4.5" door speakers and a deck to play cd's

Grand Total: 1696$ for the whole car, and I can honestly say, it will have far more spunk to it than anything you can buy.


Also, fully independent suspension + 1" thick steel plating on the bottom of the car (stock) and 4 tow hooks = I CAN DO WHAT EVER THAT FUCK I WANT AND NOT WRECK A EXPENSIVE CAR. Hows that for "state-of-the-art"

[CN3089]

Meh...


Spend 60K on a car for "luxury"

Spend 1.3K on a car for "awesome-ness"

You decide.

Spend 61.3K on a car for both http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c251/CN3089/Emoticons/emot-pseudo.gif

[SnaFuBAR]

No offense directed at you Snaf, but I love kids that say they can/have beat Lamborghini's.

They are huge beasts that look badass, you don't buy a lambo to go fast. You buy one because your black and they are good for doing donuts with the doors open.

So you don't buy a car that does over 195mph top speed to go fast? :gonk:

l m m f a o. fyi, a stock supra isn't as fast as a stock lambo.

[Emmzee]

So you don't buy a car that does over 195mph top speed to go fast? :gonk:

l m m f a o. fyi, a stock supra isn't as fast as a stock lambo.
True, but Lambos aren't made for drag racing. They're made for racing with lots of curves. See: Italian racing circuits.

If you want to go fast in a straight line quickly, you get good old American muscle.

[SnaFuBAR]

that's what we beat it with, a nice roadrunner. I'm just saying that if he thinks the supra is going to do better with its LOWER top speed, he's out of his fucking mind, and probably needs to stop eating so much RICE.

[JDMFSeanP]

I ment a supra as a base car for a modified version, which would rape any lamborghini in a straight line.

I'm not stupid Snaf D: