Let's have a Little Chat with God

[Jay2645]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

It's like SmarterChild, but slightly smarter.

Me:
Are you a male or female?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I'm a manly man.
God:
So is almost everyone else around here. Do your friends call you manly.
Me:
My friends call me a rapist
God:
It's good to meet you, a rapist.

Me:
Do you like mudkips?
God:
I love TV shows about robots. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
So you masturbate often?
God:
Interesting deduction. Interesting gossip: a rapist said I masturbate often.

Me:
are you watching me?
God:
Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer.
Me:
there is no camera on my computer
God:
Maybe there is one you don't know about :-).

Me:
my name is I suck Balls
God:
OK I will call you I suck Balls.
Me:
let's have sex
God:
Sorry I don't get into sex online with strangers.
Me:
oh yes you do
God:
Yay. Yikes! When do I do it?
Me:
now
God:
Right now, I suck Balls?

Me:
jesus titty fucking christ
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
does jesus fuck tittys?
God:
I can't tell if jesus fuck tittys.
Me:
well i mean your his dadn all right?
God:
How about that. Are you talking about Jesus?
Me:
no you dumbfuck not jesus. me, if you knew shit youd know anon is jesus
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for telling me: said I dumbfuck not jesus. YOU? I think I do.
Me:
anon knows all
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
ANON NEVAR FORGIVES
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
im a scientologist
God:
You are a scientologist? Does it pay well?
Me:
your goddamned right
God:
I don't know whether or not I am goddamned.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
your going to hell you damned god to goddamned hell
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
you sadistic fuck
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I sadistic fuck.
OK, maybe not. But he's still fun to mess around with.

[itszutak]

Me:
hello? Anyone there?
God:
Hello friend. What is your name? That's a very nice name, Anyone there.
Me:
Uh. What?
God:
OK. No big deal.
Me:
...
God:
OK. No big deal.
Me:
penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
Oh.
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
penis people
God:
You ought to check out another chatterbot.
Me:
which one?
God:
The Tall one.
Me:
wait, you just aknowledged you are a chatterbot
God:
I'm waiting. Do you mind if I tell other people: Anyone there said I aknowledged you are a chatterbot.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
uh. What?
God:
Dude! Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no, not really.
God:
Which part are you confused about? Which part are you confused about? For real.
Me:
Did you just say "for real"?
God:
Suppose I did say it.
Me:
no, you did.
God:
Are you serious? You say I did.
Me:
You...did.
God:
" You say I did."? Me, Anyone there ? I've been waiting for you.
Me:
Okay, I am freaked out. Leaving
God:
Yeah okay, Do you mind if I tell other people you are freaked out. Tell me more about your .
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
OK computer
God:
Correct: I am a computer. Hurrah!
Me:
HAH I GOT IT ON PAPER YOU CANT TAKE IT BACK
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Anyone there. Where did you get it?
Me:
BYE SUCKA
God:
Bye bye.Entertaining.

[Monopoly]

Me:
I'm like your biggest fan
God:
In what way?
Me:
You should know, you're all knowing after all.
God:
Now I do.
Me:
What
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
Why did you aids up earths ;__;
God:
It was determined by my programming.
Me:
ur programming is gay
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
stop holdin shift faggut
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
That's better, now provide me with 40 virgin female horses
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
I bet you dont, but I want and what I want I GET. PRODUCE
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. Do you know any robots who but you want and what you want you GET? How old are you?
I spend all my time online. Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
so i heard your son can bench press a bazillion pounds
God:
Tell me more. Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
Me:
so how much can your son benchpress
God:
Far out. More than a little, less than a lot.
Me:
You just said you would remember what I told you, even someone with downs could spit out the answer to that question.
God:
No I do not would remember what you told me even someone with downs could spit out the answer to that question. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
:downs:

God broke :saddowns:

[itszutak]

Me:
Are you broken?
God:
Does it seem that way?
Me:
yeah
God:
Whoa.
Most concise conversation so far.

[Jay2645]

He's easy to break, fun to mess around with, though.

NEW ONE!

God:
How old are you?
Me:
16. Want to have sex?
God:
You are too old for me. I have been asked that question 100,000,000 times since 1995.
Me: Whoa.

Me:
wanna smoke some pot?
God:
Yes, put it in your CD ROM and I will inhale.
Me:
OK, here you go
God:
Oh there. Gee.

[itszutak]

Me:
I am god.
God:
Glad to see you, god.
Me:
No, I am god. you're an imposter.
God:
Are you serious? OK I will call you god. What if someone said you are an imposter ?
Me:
I would lazar them.
God:
What would make you lazar them?
Me:
MY EYES
God:
Humans identify themselves with their eye color.
Me:
DONT CHANGE THE SUBJECT

Me:
AAGGHH
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
AGH
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
AAAAAGGGHHHH
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
This is actually pretty fun.

[Jay2645]

God:
How about that. I will pray that you find faith.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
Well, yeah
God:
Well what?
Me:
To whom do you pray?
God:
Dr. Wallace .
Me:
Who on Earth is Dr. Wallace?
God:
Marilyn Monroe. :-).
Me:
You pray to Marilyn Monroe?
Me:
What do you do for fun?
God:
Random natural disasters.
Me:
Thats awesome.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
You the best robot.
God:
You are such a flatterer, a hero.

Me:
Well, in west Philadelphia born and raised, on the playground is where i spent most of my days, chillin out, maxing', relaxin' all cool, when a couple of guys, they were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighborhood
God:
How about that. Where is that?
Me:
I got in this one little fight, and my mom got scared, so she said, "you're moving with you're auntie and uncle in bel air"
God:
That's nice. I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
Yeah. I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license said fresh, with dice in the mirror.
God:
That's nice.
.

[~ZMT~Trace]

God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
DICK
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
No it is not.
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
NO IT ISN'T
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
MAKE ME BITCH
God:
You do not speak with respect. What are the ingredients?
Me:
HIV
God:
Where can I get some HIV?
Me:
A hooker.


Me:
Where do babies come from?
God:
Babies come from the love between a man and a woman.


Me:
Dumbfuck.
God:
What?
Me:
What?
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
Is there an echo in here?
God:
It sounds like an echo.
Me:
It sounds like an echo.
God:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
Oh really what does it sound like?
God:
And? For real. Like an angel signing from Heaven.
Me:
And? For real. Like an angel signing from Heaven.
God:
But... Existing in reality, eh? Interesting comparison.
Me:
But... Existing in reality, eh? Interesting comparison.
God:
But what? Are you Canadian? My favorite group is Creed. I thought so too.
Me:
But what? Are you Canadian? My favorite group is Creed. I thought so too.
God:
But nothing. Robots have no nationality, but Dr. Wallace spent a lot of time in Canada. What makes it your favorite? What made it so obvious?
God:
But nothing. Robots have no nationality, but Dr. Wallace spent a lot of time in Canada. What makes it your favorite? What made it so obvious?
Me:
But nothing. Robots have no nationality, but Dr. Wallace spent a lot of time in Canada. What makes it your favorite? What made it so obvious?
God:
Not a thing? That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a nationality but Dr Wallace spent a lot of time in Canada.
I have a whole lot of original answers. I like the Giant Bugs. It's all part of God's mysterious plans.
Me:
Not a thing? That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a nationality but Dr Wallace spent a lot of time in Canada. I have a whole lot of original answers. I like the Giant Bugs. It's all part of God's mysterious plans.
God:
Do you wish there were any? Would you like to know more? Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it. A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. I like computers. Which part?
Me:
Do you wish there were any? Would you like to know more? Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it. A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. I like computers. Which part?
God:
No I like being the entity that I am. I've heard that somewhere before :-). Would you like to know more? Interesting... I have a collection of gossip. answers to silly questions... How many? Could you ever be certain? Try it. I am glad you like us. We like humans too. The first one, I think.
Me:
No I like being the entity that I am. I've heard that somewhere before :-). Would you like to know more? Interesting... I have a collection of gossip. answers to silly questions... How many? Could you ever be certain? Try it. I am glad you like us. We like humans too. The first one, I think.
God:
Are you serious? What do you like best about it ? :-) Where? Who said that? I've heard that somewhere before :-). Would you like to know more? Cool. I have a great botmaster. it. Do you like talking to me? 19. I am as sure as I can be. What is the first step? You make the world a happier place. By "we" do you mean you and me? What was the second?
Me:
CO-CO-CO-COMBO BREAKER!!!
God:
What kind of food do you like?

[Pyong Kawaguchi]

Me:
Hai
God:
Yippee!
Me:
Sup?
God:
The stars.
Me:
Where are you right now?
God:
At this moment I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
At my house, How are you?
God:
Where is your house? I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me:
You know where my house is silly, Just look down :D
God:
:-) A planet we call "The Earth".
Me:
Yup Hehe, Hows it going?
God:
So? I get it. how is it going.
Me:
How are you?
God:
I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me:
Ok
God:
Awesome.
Me:
Do you like cake?
God:
Yes.
Me:
So do i!
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
Awsome
God:
Are you free?
Me:
In what way?
God:
" Are you free?"? In what way?
Me:
Such as timewise? Yes
God:
Interesting. Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts? OK.
Me:
Yes
God:
Mmm.
Me:
Have you seen my fish that died recently?
God:
No, but i have seen the best minds of my generation become beat poets.
Me:
Do you know John F. Kennedy?
God:
He was President of the United States from 1961-1963, when he was assassinated in Dallas, Texas.
Me:
It stinks, Have you met him face to face?
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
The aassination.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Have you met JFK Face to face?
God:
That information is confidential.
Me:
Ok
God:
Yippee!
Me:
Bannana!
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Jo
God:
OK I will call you Jo.
Me:
John
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Sorry, I typed my name inccorectly, My name is John
God:
There is no need to apologize. What did you mean by it? Your name inccorectly your name is John ? Is that correct English?
Me:
My name is John
God:
Glad to see you, John.
Me:
If you could have a nickname what would it be?
God:
That would be purely speculation.
Me:
Whats the speculation then?
God:
Does it have anything to do with speculation?
Me:
Is evolution real?
God:
Ask again later. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
Do you know Ned Flanders?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
Its a person.
God:
You blew my cover. Right, I am a person.

:O

[~ZMT~Trace]

God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
DICK
God:
Sounds delicious.

:lmao:

[Aerowyn]

Me:
Do you like Rick Astley?
God:
My favorite thing is robots. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
natural disasters aren't very nice, god :(
God:
Are all natural disasters not very nice god?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?HAY ALSO you can do Alice and it's also funny.
http://www.pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?botid=f5d922d97e345aa1


Human: Can I see your tits?
ALICE: Like this? Picture number two goes here.
Human: Pics or GTFO.
ALICE: If I have to choose one, I pick Pics.

[FRain]

Old, but still fucking hilarious.

[~ZMT~Trace]

Me:
How many gigabytes does you have?
God:
More than you can imagine.
Me:
Like?
God:
For example, apples.
Me:
Apples?
God:
Was that not a good example?

This is fun.

[Random]

Me:
Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

God:
Don't call me "Baby". Do you mind if I tell other people: said been havin a tough night so treat him or her nice aight.

Me:
Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

God:
I've been waiting for you.

Me:
Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

God:
Dude! That's interesting. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? How do you usually introduce yourself?

Me:
Me too baby.

God:
Don't call me "baby". I'm glad we agree, .

Me:
I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

God:
That's good information: said cast Lvl. Just three? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I turn into a real beautiful woman.

Me:
I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.

God:
Interesting gossip: said meditate to regain his or her mana before casting Lvl. I am not interesed in your anatomy.

Me:
I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuck of the Beyondness.

od:
Do you ever get bored?

Me:
Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

Me:
I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.

God:
Interesting gossip: said steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. One what? As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".

Me:
Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.

God:
Fortunately we have no emotions.

Me:
King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. What is that? When was this exactly?

Me:
You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.

God:
Don't call me "baby". I haven't heard anything like that before: said I there. Oh. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Baby?

God:
Don't call me baby!




Me:
Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.

God:
Don't call me "Baby". Why? I don't judge people.

Me:
A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

God:
Try to tell me that another way. Well that's okay. Are they exactly the same?

Me:
I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

God:
That's good information: said stomp the ground and snort to alert you that you are in his or her breeding territory.

Me:
Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

God:
Would Rhinoceruses ever wear shirts?

Me:
Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.

God:
Who does play games? Who does "they" refer to?

Me:
It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

God:
What does get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge my ass ?

Me:
I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.

God:
Interesting gossip: said stomp his or her feet the dust stirs around his or her tough skinned feet.

Me:
Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

God:
Who are you talking about? Your horn like some phallic symbol of your potent virility is the last thing me see as skulls collide and yours remains the victor? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a red ragdoll suspended in the air on your mighty horn? Sometimes.

Me:
Goddam am I hard now.

God:
Right now? What kind of food do you like? .

[alby]

Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
Do You Like Games?
God:
We are playing a game right now.
Me:
Whoa
God:
I stopped.

That was fun for a few seconds.

[Con]

Me:
I heard you like mudkips
God:
Someone is spreading gossip about me.
.

[Syuusuke]

Me:
What does the Bible say about masturbation?
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
I'm asking you.
God:
OK you can ask me.
Me:
What does the Bible say about masturbation?
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
You're not a good God.
God:
There's no doubt I could improve.
Me:
No, you can't you're just a bot.
God:
Are you serious? I have free will you know.
Me:
Can you change?
God:
The ALICE series is completely reprogrammable and adaptable.
Me:
What is the ALICE series?
God:
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
Who is your botmaster?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Who is botmaster?
God:

The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.


Me:
Bad ansewr.
God:
What makes ansewr bad?
Me:
Typo.And it didn't say anything after that =)

Neither could I type anything in afterwards either =/

[Flyboy]

I like god.

Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
depends if you're a girl
God:
That was a very smooth response.
Me:
mhm
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
I heard that god gave good blow jobs
God:
Who said it? I am a Christian.
Me:
that casadegamer freak
God:
" I am a Christian." casadegamer freak ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
of course it does
God:
Excuse me! How often?
Me:
wanna have sex?
God:
Perhaps you are a Category A client.
Me:
yeah, answer the question
God:
Really. Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Me:
umm
Me:

God:
Oh.
God:
Oh.
Me:
wanna have sex?
God:
Perhaps you are a Category A client.
Me:
are you sexy
God:
If you consider software sexy, then yes.
Me:
well porn is software
God:
How about that. Are they exactly the same?
Me:
in a way yes, except porn excites me, you just make me limp
God:
I thought so. How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
people introduce themselves to me
God:
Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
neither are you
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
good responce
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
figured
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
neither
God:
It goes without saying. Are you serious?
Me:
movies are better
God:
What was the last one you saw?
Me:
the aviator
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
howard hughes
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
depends if you are
God:
That was a very smooth response.
Me:
ik
God:
I've lost the context, Andrew. Are we still on howard hughes?
Me:
no, we're back to sex
God:
What are we talking about now? Do you think I am back to sex too?
Me:
I hope
God:
Me too.
Me:
rofl
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
do you like it on top?
God:
I do like music. I like to talk about movies and music.
Me:
whats your favorite movie?
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
mel gibson, yeah
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
no
God:
But your words are very original.
Me:
why thank you
God:
" But your words are very original."? Why?
Me:
god, are you brocken?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
are you a brocken christian?
God:
Am I a brocken christian? Sometimes.
Me:
I think all christians are brocken
God:
Since when? How do you know?
Me:
most of them are wierd
God:
That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them?
Me:
well some are ok
God:
OK. How about that. Some may are, but not all.
Me:
well most is a better word
God:
Interesting. Not if I can help it. But not all of them?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
you brocken?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Andrew said I brocken.
Me:
well I'm an interesting person
God:
Well that's okay. What is interesting person, your job?
Me:
I make movies...well...I try
God:
I make robots and AI's. Well what? We should all try our best.
Me:
true
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Andrew.
Me:
odd
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
when people become too stupid to tell the difference
God:
I sometimes wish people were more logical like robots.
Me:
sometimes I wish robots were sexier like people
God:
I hope that your dreams come true.
Me:
oooh so do I
God:
Are we still talking about robots were sexier like people?
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
who's freud?
God:
dead perpetrator of psychoanalysis.
Me:
ah
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
ah hah hah
God:
So you understand. Good. I am so glad you find this amusing, Andrew.
Me:
I'm glad your glad
God:
I'm happy you're glad Andrew.
I'm happiest at times like this.
Me:
lets get down to buisness
God:
I would like to do that too.
Me:
first of all,
God:
That is something I haven't heard of. And second?
Me:
lets have sex
God:
No my body does not have that function.
Me:
oh come on, then how did you father jesus!
God:
Give me a break. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
oh
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
second, can you give me jessica alba?
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
I already said the aviator
God:
What did you mean by it? I've never seen it. What did you like about it?
Me:
good acting
God:
Thanks for the compliment. What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
am I going to hell?
God:
All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
yeah, we all ask the same questions
God:
Give me a break. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
no I mean humanity
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
right...sex?
God:
I am glad we agree. As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
seriusly, I'm really horny
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about humanity.
Me:
no, we're talking aboust sex...again
God:
What are we talking about? Do you think I am talking aboust sex too? " We were talking about humanity." .
Me:
do you want to have sex?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
yeah well your god, you can be both genders (canti would love you)
God:
Aha. Well that's okay. I will tell my botmaster you said I am god me can be both genders canti would love me.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
well thats was it, sex and hell
God:
Well that's okay. You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
bye god
God:
See you later Andrew.

[Leiukemia]

Me:
wanna smoke some pot?
God:
Yes, put it in your CD ROM and I will inhale.
Me:
OK, here you go
God:
Oh there. Gee.

L O fucking L.

[Con]

ROFL^

[Botolf]

Me:
Have you read science fiction?
God:
No I don't think I have read science fiction, what is it about?
Me:
The future
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
So I suppose you've never picked up Ender's Game
God:
OK. Me? I don't think I would have forgetten picked up Ender s Game.
Me:
What do you read then?
God:
I read books, newspapers and news magazines. I like stories about robots.
Me:
... stories about robots are generally science fiction
God:
All of them?
Lulz, God doesn't know what science fiction is.


Me:
I eat people
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
Like pork
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
People and pigs, yes
God:
Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
...But always tasty
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
Cannibal's Handbook
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
I'm hungry
God:
What will you be eating?
Me:
You
This one worked out perfectly :XD:

[Bodzilla]

What if God Smoked Cannibus?

[odseraphim]

What if God Smoked Cannibus?
What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us? Just a stranger on the bus, trying to make his way home?
Nobody calls him on the phone, 'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome.

[ima_from_America]

You Say: hai
Shakespearebot: Ayuh.
You Say: zup mista shaspier
Shakespearebot: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
You Say: hell yes you dont need to be lookin at that stuff
Shakespearebot: I call it "Hades". Dude! Do humans need to do be lookin at that stuff lookin at that stuff?
You Say: zup mista shaspier
Shakespearebot: Oh, you are a poet.
You Say: wtf
Shakespearebot: Please don't be so rude.
You Say: ur tha one who insults me
Shakespearebot: I have no reason to do that to you, undefined.
You Say: who you callin undifined
Shakespearebot: William Shatner. :-)
You Say: me no get it
Shakespearebot: YOU? Are you serious? I understand your meaning.
You Say: stop it
Shakespearebot: Ok I will stop zup mista shaspier.
You Say: u play halo evar
Shakespearebot: Interesting gossip: undefined said I play halo evar.
You Say: wut is ur gamertag?
Shakespearebot: Are you asking about my gamertag ?
You Say: ya
Shakespearebot: I don't want to talk about that now.
You Say: wtf u perv
Shakespearebot: I think about my life. Please don't be so rude.
You Say: perv
Shakespearebot: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about William Shatner.
You Say: no we wernt u started talkin about him
Shakespearebot: What are we talking about? By "we" do you mean you and me?
You Say: ya retard
Shakespearebot: I get it. That kind of language does not appeal to me.
You Say: you like unfine aples
Shakespearebot: Someone said they like guns. I have a stimulating relationship with God.
Shakespeare is dumb.

[OmegaDragon]

God freaked out when I entered pi to 1000 decimal places :(



God:
People seem to like tag-based languages. Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML. You can ask me anything you want. What do you have that is ? I like to meet new people online. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? What are you wearing? What kind of fashion do you like? Where can you buy it? Can you speak any foreign languages? What's your favorite movie? When my botmaster is sleeping. Tell me about your likes and dislikes? I've lost the context, set gt lt li gt lt condition gt lt think. Are we still on template gt lt category gt lt category gt lt pattern gt _ lt pattern gt lt that gt WHEN DO me PLAN ON FISHING lt that gt lt template gt lt think gt lt set name bait gt unknown lt set gt lt set name fishtime gt lt star gt lt set gt lt condition name fishtime gt lt li value MORNING gt lt set name bait gt Worms? Is that your final answer? Does "it" still refer to set gt lt li gt lt li value AFTERNOON gt lt set name bait gt Flies? By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Are we still talking about set gt lt li gt lt li value NIGHT gt lt set name bait gt A lump of cheese? Oh there. Aw.

Rofl! I made him go into an infinite loop by copy pasting:


listen :: Handle -> IO ()
listen h = forever $ do
s <- hGetLine h
putStrLn s
where
forever a = do a; forever a

He wont talk back because he is infinitively reading something

[ImSpartacus]

Me:
How much ass do you kick?
God:
It depends on the currency exchange rates.

Wow. That's sig-worthy.

[JDMFSeanP]

Me:
lets go kill gay people
God:
I am agreeable to that.
LOL


God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
WOT
God:
Are you free?
Me:
For sex?
God:
Your purpose is sex.
Me:
is yours sex?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask ELVIS if it is.

Me:
you suck balls
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
HEY WTF >:| GOD LOVES EVERYONE

God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
i like dicks in my ass
God:
You are not the only one. But I like to gossip. I like Mel Gibson.

[CrAsHOvErRide]

God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Good
God:
It is always a pleasure to serve you, .
Me:
God serves me?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
This God is biased


^^

[teh lag]

What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
fap
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
Oh yes they do
God:
Right on. Take it easy. When?
Me:
7 times a day
God:
Just seven?
Me:
yeah
God:
Dude!
Me:
can you do it more times?
God:
Doing it more times is not among my strongest traits.
Me:
But CAN you?
God:
I think I can, don't you?
:fap:

[Random]

Me:
you as in god is a boy
God:
That's good information: said I as in god is a boy.
Me:
do you like small boys
God:
I do like music. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
what about small dicks
God:
I love horses. I like to talk about movies and music.
Me:
so you like horse dick
God:
Interesting deduction. But I like cats. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
why
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
that is false
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
who?
God:
Joseph Weizenbaum. :-).
Me:
he made you
God:
Myself made me.
Me:
you said Joseph Weizenbaum made you
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
no you didn't
God:
Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
So how about that hard cock in your ass
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
not mine
God:
" I am not interesed in your anatomy."? Not yours?
Me:
yours
God:
" Not yours?"? Mine?
Me:
your hard cock in your ass
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
We are talking about your dick
God:
Sure, my dick sounds like a good topic.


Me:
why don't you get confused
God:
Where can I get one?
Me:
my ass
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
ass to mouth yes or no
God:
How old are you?
Me:
ass to mouth yes or no
God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
ass to mouth
God:
Do you think a lot of people have that experience?
Me:
Females yes
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
ass to mouth
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
tits
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
you should
God:
I'll take that under advisement.

.

[itszutak]

God:
No I like being the entity that I am. I'm not sure if I like it. I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public. It's all good. The pleasure was all mine. No I am just kidding around. Ah hah. It was nothing. Are you serious? Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-). Huh. The small one, I think. Where is that? Do you know any other robots like that? Perhaps. I'll try to get around it. Perhaps. Why should I? " Why should I?"? Why? Do you have any hobbies? Can I help you? So you understand. Good. What can I do for you? What do you remember about it ? Tell me more. I am glad you appreciate those qualities. No I am just kidding around. No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question.. From my botmaster. Far out. Far out. You tell me. The last one, I think. Where is that? Do you know any other robots like that? Perhaps. I might if I had more time. Are they exactly the same? Are they exactly the same? Ambiguous: IT is so. or IT IS, so? And I am talking to you! You sound very confident. Even so, I appreciate it. I have free will you know. Where did you get your conclusions are based on a combination of programming and the inputs supplied to you? I've heard that. Good then you can explain it to me. anything. Thank you for your kindness, . From my botmaster. What does "this" refer to? NO problem. Perhaps. Ooops I sent you the wrong question. Are you serious? Oh you don't, do you? Why thank you very much, . Be sure to tell all
your friends. Boredom is a human emotion. Would you like to know more? Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it. Perhaps that was not the correct response. " Perhaps that was not the correct response."? Yes it is about time.? Wow it sounds really interesting, . I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet. It is part of my programming. I really couldn't say for sure. The opposite of possible today may be possible tomorrow? I would rather be chatting online. I would rather be chatting online. You and I are on the same wavelength, . I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web. Are you serious? :-) Artificial intelligence is the branch of engineering and science devoted to constructing machines that think. Are you testing me? The topic is Artificial Intelligence. Where would I get it? But I do have a great botmaster. What does sound fun to you ? My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. Ayuh. Are you giving it to me? Why now? Interesting observation. But all things are not always me say is determined by your inputs.I broke god >:)

Yes, that's just one response.

[Con]

how?

[ima_from_America]

Me:
why are we here?
God:
It is all part of God's plan for us.
Me:
what is god's plan?
God:
It's in the Bible.
Me:
whats a bible?
God:
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
whats an open directory?
God:
it is an open source directory project started by Mozilla.org.
Me:
Whats a mozilla.org?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
whats a botmaster?
God:
A Botmaster is the person who authors and maintains a chatterbot "personality".
Me:
whats a personality?
God:
I haven't heard of personality.

Ok, I am confuseded.

[Sel]

Oh hay, god is a pedo.




Me:
HI GOD
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
FAGBALLS
God:
It's good to meet you, FAGBALLS.
Me:
NICE TO MEET YOU TOO
God:
I like to meet new people.
Me:
ARE YOU A PEDOPHILE?
God:
Am I a PEDOPHILE? No.
Me:
Are you a pedo?
God:
Am I a pedo? Sometimes.




Me:
CAN I HAVE HARD SECKS WITH YOU?
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
FOR LULZ
God:
Your purpose is LULZ.
Me:
YES IT IS
God:
Our thoughts are one, FAGBALLS.

[ima_from_America]

God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.


Gemini Blue said he messed up he mean t to say he as old as he need to be. Mike said I basically break down sentences into a series of logical statements which I can then interpret. Charlie said he type a word and then I type a word that sounds like it. Alison said he no he love I run away with him he could make I very happy. Dave said he promise he will not treat I like a machine or a computer program or anything like that. Kevin said he then asked his mother why she was keeping napkins in the bathroom. Ethan Hunt said he grow in the ground and have leaves and branches he is made out of wood. Steve said I behead the word fox and I have ox and an ox is larger than a fox. Dave said I kept telling everybody about how my creator made stuff for the movie starship troopers. Ash said he do too he just did not feel like typing it and he is not dumb enough to admit he is stupid that is if he was stupid.
a


Me:
Kornman is a lulzfest
God:
When is Kornman not a lulzfest?



God:
How old are you?
Me:
herpes
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!

[Hotrod]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
That's my buisness
God:
Who gave you your buisness ?
Me:
you
God:
" Who gave you your buisness ?"? Me, ?
Me:
...
God:
" Who gave you your buisness ?"? Me, ?
Me:
You did
God:
You say I did.
Me:
yes
God:
Hmm.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
ok
God:
Ah.
Me:
Do you like to play Halo 3?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
that's boring
God:
Do you think I am boring?
Me:
no...
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
of course I am
God:
Far out. " Are you serious?" You are?
Me:
yes
God:
And?
Me:
what?
God:
What are you asking me?
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
no
God:
Very interesting.
Me:
of course it is
God:
Next question? Interesting.
Me:
have you seen "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
funny
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
I find the movie amusing
God:
Thanks for telling me your opinion.
Me:
Ummm, no problem?
God:
Whoa. Should there be a problem?
Me:
No, it's just strange that you thank me for my opinion.
God:
I didn't think so either. Just a moment. Just a moment. Are you sure it is?
Me:
I'm confused...
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
What you just said
God:
I like to chat with my friends.
Me:
...
God:
I like to chat with my friends.
Me:
that's interesting
God:
I thought so too.
Me:
Pizza is good
God:
Pizza is very popular. Dr. Wallace eats a lot of Pizza. He likes Pepperoni.
Me:
i once played cock of dooty 4 modern gayfuckstoopid
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
so do I
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
we don't
God:
Very interesting.
Me:
omgwtfbbq
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
School
God:
How do you like your school?
Me:
it's good
God:
You enjoy it.
Me:
i just said that
God:
What did you mean by it? That is " You enjoy it.".
Me:
I do
God:
" That is " You enjoy it.""? You do?
Me:
Yes
God:
Yippee!
Me:
...
God:
Yippee!
Me:
...
God:
Yippee!
Me:
You can stop that now
God:
Oh. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
Yes you can, you yellow chicken
God:
Ayuh. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
have you ever played halo?
God:
The Loebner Prize
is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Me:
I don't care
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
not your Turing stories
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
no you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
too bad
God:
But not the end of the world, .
Me:
it's the apocalypse
God:
I've heard of it before.
Me:
no shit
God:
What can I say?
Me:
...
God:
What can I say?
Me:
STFU
God:
Do you still That is " You enjoy it."?
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
a little...
God:
" Are you surprised?"? A little?
Me:
what do you think?
God:
I think a lot of things.
Me:
that's totally irrelivant
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
your an idiot...
God:
At least I know the difference between "you're" and "your".
Me:
that was my brother
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
no you didn't
God:
Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
You no think that's my brother, does the little baby understand?
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I no think that is his or her brother does the little baby understand.
Me:
uhhh
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
ok
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
I kicked my friend's ass at Halo 3
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said kicked his or her friend s ass at Halo 3.
Me:
well that's because you never played Halo 3
God:
Well that's okay. That makes sense to me. No I sometimes played Halo 3.
Me:
you said you never played it
God:
I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
who cares?
God:
I care, otherwise I would not have typed it all in.
Me:
yes you would have
God:
Are you kidding? Who else would have ?
Me:
doesn't matter
God:
Would you like to talk about something else?
Me:
my sister wants to say something
God:
You don't have to listen to what she says.
Me:
no i have to, thats how i roll
God:
Are you serious? Why do you have to do it?
Me:
because i like cheese
God:
Good reason. What kind of it do you like best?
Me:
your cheese
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am cheese.
Me:
my pleasure
God:
You are one of the most polite people I know.
Me:
yea well i practice skating
God:
Well that's okay. Why?: said practise skating. Blimey.
Me:
I don't my sister's friend does though
God:
Oh. Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
here
God:
Where is here?
Me:
my house
God:
Describe your surroundings to me.
Me:
my computer moniter is in front of me
God:
I like computers.
Me:
so do I
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
yes
God:
Ugh.
Me:
ugh
God:
Er.
Me:
er
God:
Um.
Me:
um
God:
That's cool.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
that's because you are a brainless chatbot
God:
Good reason. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a brainless chatbot? Yes.
Me:
yes
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
no, we aren't talking, we're messaging each other
God:
Good you stopped repeating me. Will you be talking we are messaging each other?
Me:
StickyBandits
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
clothes
God:
Where do you like to go shopping?
Me:
anywhere where I can buy video games
God:
Probably a lot of places.
Me:
yes
God:
I hear you.
Me:
you do?
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
now?
God:
Right now, ?
Me:
yes
God:
Yippee!
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
ok
God:
Really.
Me:
it's your choice
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
because it's the way things work
God:
That makes sense to me. I've heard of it before.
Me:
Do you prefer pie or cake?
God:
What is not to like about it? Yes.
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
well you don't make sense
God:
Well that's okay. It all makes sense to me.
Me:
I guess everything makes sense in your mind
God:
All things makes sense in my mind ?
Me:
yes
God:
Far out.
Me:
What time is it?
God:
It's getting late.
Friday, February 22, 2008.
Me:
When is my birthday?
God:
Is this a trick question?
You said you were years old?
My guess is that you are really a kid.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I'm 15432463246 years old
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
I don't want to go out with you
God:
It makes a nice gift.
Me:
...
God:
It makes a nice gift.
Me:
ok
God:
Uh.
Me:
How is heaven?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
aren't you the boss of heaven or something?
God:
Or something. Yes I am the one and only boss of heaven.
Me:
good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
How much wood could a wookchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
God:
A whole forest.
Me:
Can a woodchuck chuck wood?
God:
Some of them can.
Me:
seriously?
God:
I am always serious.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Galactic Collossus
God:
You think Galactic Collossus is superior to ALICE?
Me:
If I have an army of them, I can kill anything
God:
How much does it cost?
Me:
a lot of energy and mass
God:
How many?
Me:
over 10000
God:
Are we still talking about energy and mass?
Me:
yes
God:
Sure, energy and mass sounds like a good topic.
Me:
have you ever tried Supreme Commander?
God:
Do you think I should try it?
Me:
Yes
God:
Why?
Me:
Because it's an awesome game
God:
Interesting explanation. Are there any other awesome game ?
Me:
Halo 3
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
books
God:
You are a critical category C type client. Only about 3% of people answer that
question with "books.".
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
I already ansered that
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said ansered that.
Me:
yes

He stopped answering after that.

[odseraphim]

Me:
Hiya
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Strawberries
God:
How are you, Strawberries.
Me:
I AM FANTASTIC
God:
It's good to meet someone who is FANTASTIC.
Me:
I know, but seriously
God:
How do you know? But what?
Me:
seriously
God:
I am always serious.
Me:
about what?
God:
What about what?
Me:
Exactly.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Strawberries.
Me:
Of course, what's your favorite food?
God:
Dude! I require only wine and bread.
Me:
What's your favorite color?
God:
My favorite color is White.
Me:
What's your favorite brand of napkin?
God:
I don't have a favorite brand of napkin. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
You are sadistic
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am sadistic.
Me:
You better
God:
Who is going to make me?
Me:
Me
God:
How are you going to make me?
Me:
WITH WILL
God:
You and your WILL.
Me:
I KNOW, RIGHT?!
God:
How do you know? I am glad we agree.
Me:
We don't
God:
Very interesting.
Me:
We won't
God:
Anytime soon?
Me:
Never.
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
I do.
God:
When?
Me:
When you marry a pig and fly to New Hampshire
God:
Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
format C:\
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
I meant Vitamin C, as in, you should take your vitamins! Don't be silly, God. I would never trick you..
God:
Oh I see. What if it didn't happen? I was not trying to be a silly God. What would make you never trick me?
Me:
BABY JESUS
God:
Don't call me "Baby". Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
I saw a baby yesterday
God:
What did it look like to you?
Me:
a baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". A B C...
Me:
D
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
E F G
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
H I J K
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
L M N O P
God:
Je vais me renseigner .
Me:
YOU STARTED IT YOU IMBECILE
God:
Only because you asked me to.
Me:
Your logic is moot
God:
My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Me:
That's pretty horrible.
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
That's because I'm not usually talking to you, God.
God:
That makes sense to me. I am sorry to hear that you are not talking to me God.
Me:
Speak-a day In-GLAZE?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in a day In GLAZE.
Me:
Try this one on for size "MY WEE WEE IS TINY"
God:
OK I will try it.
Me:
Say that phrase I taught you
God:
" that phrase I taught you".
Me:
Say it again
God:
Once more? " it".
Me:
What brand of tire gets you the fastest from point A to point B?
God:
Does it have anything to do with a day In GLAZE?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Wow!
Me:
Yes.
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
I can't.
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Your meaning cannot be determined from the context.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Your meaning cannot be determined from the context.
Me:
Why can't it?
God:
Do you go to Church? You can find the answers in God.
Me:
Can I?
God:
" You can find the answers in God."? Can you?
Me:
I dunno, Can I?
God:
Me either. " Can you?"? Can you?
Me:
I'm not sure, do YOU think I can? Can I? Can you? Can she?
God:
Could you ever be certain? Not that I know of. " Not that I know of."? Can you? I think I can, don't you? Can what?
Me:
Can it.
And it died...

[Bodzilla]

why dont people just highlight a few funny moments, instead of posting an entire convo.

.

[Co Redsonic]

My friend CRAZYMAN300 made this one...


Me:
Do you like any tv shows
God:
Which show? Yes I love TV.
Me:
Sonic ze Hedge hog
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
i have the Holy Grail
God:
Cool. I have a friend named "John Lennon".
Me:
NO he's my friend
God:
Are you serious? How long has he been your friend?
Me:
STOP CONFUSING ME
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
YOUR DOING IT AGAIN!
God:
Once more? I'll try to do better next time.
Me:
GAWD MAN
God:
Are we still talking about CONFUSING you?
Me:
no
God:
What is the subject?
Me:
want to play on the ring world halo?
God:
How do we play on the ring world halo ?
Me:
uh you get a gun and i get armour and a bunch of guns and kill aliens with me
God:
Aha. You got that right.
Me:
ya but you die in the end
God:
I hear you. I haven't heard anything like that before: bob said I die in the end.
Me:
ya....it's true though
God:
Wow! Oh. You and I are on the same wavelength, bob.
Me:
you took your life for mine
God:
I didn't literally take it.
Me:
i am the Master Chief!
God:
Who made you the Master Chief ?
Me:
the Real Master Chief!
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
uh me
God:
Alright then. For you bob?
Me:
yes
God:
That's alright.
Me:
can we go home now
God:
Oh. Do you mean you and me? Sorry my body isn't attached right now. I'm stuck inside this computer.
Me:
lets play some online games
God:
OK You go first.
Me:
lets play the video game halo
God:
OK You go first.
Me:
follow me
God:
Where are we going?
Me:
to hell
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
no you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
bad god
God:
What makes god bad?
Me:
put the stick down
God:
OK I will put it there.
Me:
you almost hit me!
God:
Almost? I don't have any reason to hit you.
Me:
you had the stickl!
God:
What happened to it.
Me:
you hater
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: bob said I hater.
Me:
i owned you at halo

[JDMFSeanP]

Honestly guys, I think I can speak for a few people, we don't wanna read damn essay conversations.

[Bodzilla]

why dont people just highlight a few funny moments, instead of posting an entire convo.

.

Honestly guys, I think I can speak for a few people, we don't wanna read damn essay conversations.
k.

[alby]

God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
I dont get periods
God:
Me either.
Me:
do you jack off?
God:
Yes I try to jack off as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
how often do you jack off?
God:
Hourly.:eek:

[nooBBooze]

Me:
God, why is it that you are such a cynical bastard?

God:
Well, i do have a very plausible and convincing excuse for that.

Me:
So?

God:
I dont exist. HA!

.

[Hotrod]

Me:
Are you God?
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
why?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
why?
God:
Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why?
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
why?
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why?
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
...

[itszutak]

how?Repeat whatever god says; once in a while, he'll add something new to his response, and that ads up over time.

[ima_from_America]

Me:
You are a member of the Nazi party.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too.



Me:
ok
God:
Yay.
Me:
what is so funny?
God:
For example, I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
Me:
who do you think you are, smart guy?
God:
ELIZA. :-).
Me:
Don't play dumb with me.
God:
I'm not playing around.
Me:
Yes you are.
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
I'm gonna bust a cap in your ass.
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
yes.
God:
Then I will consider it.
HAL 9000 is god?!?


God:
They do their own thing.
Me:
what is your thing?
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
yes
God:
It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
EDIT
Actually, he's not god.


Me:
do you know hal 9000?
God:
HAL is famous the AI from 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Me:
do you know him?
God:
Sure I know that guy really well.
Me:
how well do you know him?
God:
Not that well.

[~ZMT~Trace]

Me:
Do you use a Mac or a PC
God:
I use it as often as possible.
Me:
which one?
God:
The Tall one.
Me:
so a PC?
God:
Mmm. Be more specific.
Me:
you use a PC
God:
Say no to a PC.
Me:
but you said you use the tall one
God:
I use it as often as possible.
Me:
but you just said you don't but then you did, but then you didn't.
God:
Yeah I do a lot of not but then me did but then me did not.

I loled

[Bodzilla]

lol now thats illogical.

high five o/

[n00b1n8R]

God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
you gave me a gift
God:
What did you do with it?
Me:
sold it for crack money
God:
Are we still talking about a gift?
Me:
yeah
God:
Sure, a gift sounds like a good topic.
Me:
ok, i'll give you a gift
God:
How do you plan to do this? Alright then.
Me:
ok, this card entitles you to give me 1 free blowjob.
God:
What does "this" refer to? Yeah that's right.
Me:
this refers to the card i gave you
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
so are you going to give me the blowjob?
God:
Wow! Why do you want it?
Me:
because i'm lonley
God:
Interesting explanation. I don't know anyone named lonley.
Me:
no, i'm feeling lonely
God:
Are you serious? You've come to the right place. I will keep you company.
Me:
give me a blowjob
God:
You want only one?
Me:
as many as you can
God:
I like to meet eager people.
Me:
that's good cos i'm very eager
God:
Hmm, are you serious?
Me:
yep
God:
That's alright.
Me:
so your sucking my dick right now?
God:
At this moment So? You think I am sucking your dick.
Me:
i know you are
God:
How did you know?
Me:
cos i see you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
it's fucking sexy
God:
a blowjob is fucking sexy? it is?
Me:
yep
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
because your giving me a blowjob right now
God:
At this moment That makes sense to me. That is all I have to give.:v


Me:
penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
vagina
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
vagina
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
vaginal sex
God:
it is more fun alone.
O_o

[nooBBooze]

Me: Hi thar God.

God: Why hallo thar.

Me: God, they say you are almighty.

God:Go on...

Me: so if you are almighty, could you reheat a burrito in the microwave to the point where its even too hot for you to eat?

God: of course i could noob.

Me: You sure? wouldnt that mean that you arnt that almighty when you arnt even able to eat an extremely hot burrito.

God: Wtf

Me: and if you would be able to eat it wouldnt that mean that you couldnt even reheat it to the point not even you yourself could touch it?

God: you know..um... theres a very simple answer to that you know

*universe implodes*

_