I need you guys to settle a dispute for me...

My best friend (let's call her "Ruth") and I are no longer on speaking terms, and she says it's all my fault.
Essentially, here's the facts:

• About a week ago, I made a lighthearted comment, asking her what color her crotch hair was (she's a redhead). I didn't mean anything by it.
• She immediately took offense and punched me in the arm, which prompted a quick apology from myself.
• She refused to talk to me for the rest of the day (despite me apologizing three more times).
• The next day, she still wasn't talking to me. I decided to let her go and calm down, so I leave her alone for the weekend.
• Today, my other best friend (let's call her "Holly") comes up to talk to me. Apparently, at Ruth's birthday party, Ruth came up to Holly and told her she shouldn't hang out with me anymore. Holly tried to make amends and get Ruth to see that she was being irrational, but Ruth just ignored her.
• This prompted a... somewhat violent reaction from me, and I yelled at Ruth for trying to get my best friends to leave me. I give Ruth a shove at the end because she isn't listening to anything I'm saying. The shove isn't hard enough to hurt her, but I hoped that it would knock some sense into her and make her see that she's being irrational.
• Ruth complains to all her friends that I have done some great wrong to her, about half of whom now want to beat the living shit out of me. Ruth is still ignoring me, and has blocked any attempts by myself to bring about negotiations or any kind of reconciliation.
• She has also stopped listening to Holly or any of her other real-world friends, all of whom have taken my side on the matter. She insists that I have done something majorly fucked-up and should do something about it to appease her, although she neglects to tell me what it is I should do about it.

I brought this up here to get your guys' opinion on this and maybe knock some sense into her. Any advice would help as well.

Shove a guy and get punched in the face, shove a girl and get bitched at. It's how it works the vast majority of the time.

You're not in the right, nor is she. It sounds a bit like some insecurities/immaturities on her part as well as yours. At this point, don't take it to heart. There's really nothing you can do here but let go; if she keeps an unending grudge she's only proving your point for you.

Though despite that, it seems you did say something somewhat unacceptable, but if you were truly sorry and showed that, she should not have continued such an extreme reaction... on top of that, Ruth's action of going to each and every friend of hers and making you look bad was kind of a douche move. :/

Basically, here's my point:

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Ruth complains to all her friends that I have done some great wrong to her ... She has also stopped listening to Holly or any of her other real-world friends

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So essentially you're saying that all of her IRL friends including girls seem to think she's overreacting... so she went and started crying one-sided stories to her internet friends who now want to beat the shit out of you? :V Sounds a bit immature.

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Ruth is still ignoring me, and has blocked any attempts by myself to bring about negotiations or any kind of reconciliation.

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She wants to NOT forgive you. Your comment was out of line, but this isn't the way to go about coping with it.

TL;DR: I'm starting to think that at first you did do something a bit out of line, but she's blown it all out of proportion and turned it into something else. Her actions and your actions have put you both out of the right. I kind of wish I can unvote now, because both of you are out of the right to an extent... although her actions appear to be much more malicious than yours. So I'd say you're a bit closer.

TL;DR:TL;DR: You were wrong with the pushing and less so with the comment. She was way more wrong with her actions.

Holy shit I've revised this post too much.

you were wrong from the beginning, and you got even wronger with the shoving.

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Originally Posted by ICEE

you were wrong from the beginning, and you got even wronger with the shoving.

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That being said she is also being irrational and stubborn.

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Originally Posted by ICEE

you were wrong from the beginning, and you got even wronger with the shoving.

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wtf... wrong in the shoving yes, but making a comment like he did is hardly justification for her to go nuts as she did.

this chick obviously has some issues and id say good riddane shes out of your life, so long as you still have your other sane friends.

Granted, it shouldn't be an unforgivable sin to ask a woman such a question, she still has the right to get mad about it. Some people are just uptight. Deal with it mang

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Originally Posted by StankBacon

wtf... wrong in the shoving yes, but making a comment like he did is hardly justification for her to go nuts as she did.

this chick obviously has some issues and id say good riddane shes out of your life, so long as you still have your other sane friends.

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agreed

You obviously want someone who you can be yourself around. You tried that and her reaction was IMO immature and irrational. If she doesn't like your sense of humour, and your wishes to speak freely in general, then I think that's a clear indication that she wasn't right for you in the first place. The shoving was unneeded though, so don't think you're in the clear.

The number of times us ranga's get asked that question, you're lucky you got off so lightly. <:maddowns:>

Seriously but, up until you shoved her back, you were in the clear. After that it just became a shit flinging contest. You could try admitting you're both at fault but it doesn't sound like she's interested in being reasonable.

Yeah, just drop her like a bad habit, because at this point, she is. She wants to milk your reactions for all they're worth at this point, and so far has been successful at it. The best thing you can do now is to avoid her at all costs. Just ignore her and her goon squad, and if things get really serious and she won't leave you alone, file a restraining order. She wants material she can use as ammo in the shit-flinging, and you'd de doing yourself a favor by doing nothing, as ANYTHING is ammo at this point.