Articles Funny Random

[LesserOf2Evils]

Not really an article but I figured a Craigslist post would fit here best.

http://www.startupconversations.com/...raigslist.html

also

1 The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. 2 "My lords," he said, "please turn aside to your servant's house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning."
"No," they answered, "we will spend the night in the square." 3 But he insisted so strongly that they did go with him and entered his house. He prepared a meal for them, baking bread without yeast, and they ate. 4 Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom—both young and old—surrounded the house. 5 They called to Lot, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them."
6 Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him 7 and said, "No, my friends. Don't do this wicked thing. 8 Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don't do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof."

Lot was a sorry ass dad.

[Heathen]

I read it without an accent.

I read them out loud with an accent.

[OmegaDragon]

Masked ball descends into orgy

[OmegaDragon]

http://business.timesonline.co.uk/to...cle6719191.ece

Long article, so I spoiler tagged:

A TEENAGE boy from Yorkshire succeeded in persuading British aviation executives that he was a tycoon about to launch his own airline. Using the pseudonym Adam Tait, the smooth-talking 17-year-old told airport and airline executives that he had a fleet of jets.
Tait, who said he was in his twenties, even flew to Jersey to attend a 1½-hour long meeting with the director of its airport. Their talks were considered promising enough for a further meeting to be arranged, which was due to be held next week.
Other air industry bosses found themselves dealing by telephone or e-mail with Tait’s fellow executives, David Rich and Anita Dash, who proposed to launch a cut-price Channel Islands-based airline servicing most of Europe.
What no one realised was that Tait, Rich and Dash were all the same person: an aircraft buff with the gift of the gab and an overactive imagination.
His exploits are reminiscent of those of Frank Abagnale Jr, who convinced the Pan Am airline that he was a pilot while still a teenager.
The Yorkshire teenager’s six-month-long ruse, which included placing articles in industry magazines, foundered only after one publication, Airliner World, became suspicious. It started to unravel the complex network that Tait had set up of fake websites, “virtual offices” complete with a real telephone receptionist and bogus names.
Last Monday he was questioned by Essex police while trying to gain access to a 93- seater jet at Southend airport, having convinced the plane’s marketing agent that his “company” wanted to lease it.
The police, who had intervened after being tipped off by Airliner World, discovered the boy’s true identity. Although no further action was taken, his fantasy was finally grounded.
The Sunday Times has agreed not to use Tait’s real name at the request of his father, who did not know of his son’s exploits until he was contacted last week.
He said that his son suffered from a form of autism and was “a phenomenal individual who is enterprising and creative” with an ability to recall the exact detail of every airline’s flight schedules. But the autism also made his behaviour highly challenging.
“He has been passionate about aeroplanes for about two years and his whole bedroom is plastered with them,” he said.
“Before that he came within two days of bringing the US cast of High School Musical to a 300-seat theatre in Shropshire by cutting and pasting mastheads from one company to another, masquerading as this or that.
“It would have happened, except when booking the hotel some queries were thrown up. I don’t know why he did it. He is not nasty or vindictive or malicious.”
The case has parallels with that of Gary McKinnon, 43, the Asperger’s syndrome sufferer who is facing extradition to the United States, accused of hacking into the Pentagon’s computers to look for evidence of UFOs (unidentified flying objects).
Tait began his elaborate hoax by buying up websites in the name of American Global Group and Island Airways. He then approached various established airlines to ask whether they wanted to give him a franchise agreement.
He claimed that the American parent company had a readily available fleet of 12 jets of varying size. His e-mails, like his telephone patter, were impressively well informed and persuasive. Each ended with the sign-off “American Global Group, 35 Countries, 22 Languages, One Team”, followed by a list of all the states in which it supposedly had offices.
Malcolm Coupar, the commercial manager of Aurigny, the airline owned by the Guernsey government, said he and Malcolm Hart, his managing director, had conducted discussions over a period of months with Tait, who was using the name David Rich.
“Some of the things he said were the sort of things that were indicative that there might have been some substance to his claims,” said Coupar. “If they were real then there would have been opportunities for us to expand our business and that’s not the sort of thing we are going to ignore.”
Tait also made approaches, with varying levels of success, to other airlines, including Titan Airways and Aer Arann.
When he made contact with Jersey airport, his patter was convincing enough to effect a 90-minute face-to-face meeting with Julian Green, the airport’s director, who said last night: “Jersey airport can confirm it has had discussions with Adam Tait over recent weeks about an ambitious network of services between Jersey, the UK and Europe.
“As further information has come to light in recent days we can now confirm negotiations on the proposal have ceased.”
Tait gained some initial credibility with an article about his supposed airline which appeared in Airliner World.
Richard Maslen, the deputy editor, said: “We spoke to a few contacts in the industry and they had also heard whispers about this proposed start-up and as a result we ran a small news piece in the magazine.”
When Tait suggested further coverage, Maslen smelt a rat. His reporter recorded Tait talking, then played the tape to Coupar, who confirmed it was the same voice as “David Rich”.
The magazine suggested Tait do some photographs and he suggested Southend airport, where he said one of his company’s jets, a 93-seater BAe 146-200, was hangared.
Tait then contacted Airstream, the agent which markets the plane, and said his company wanted to lease it. Airstream took him at face value, even offering to pick him up and chauffeur him to the airport to inspect the plane.
The teenager’s plans were about to crash, however. Concerned about his stated intention to start up the plane’s engines, Airliner World tipped off police. Officers, who intercepted the teenager and a number of colleagues who he had brought with him, warned Airstream that Tait was using multiple names and it should have nothing further to do with him.
When confronted by The Sunday Times at his family’s home in York, Tait initially denied any wrongdoing. He later admitted that he had “done some things in a bad way”, but said he had broken no laws and insisted he still harboured ambitions to make his “aviation business” take off.
His father argued that sufferers from autism have great potential. He said of his son: “People like him are not criminals, they are just misguided — they don’t understand what they are doing. Can someone grab hold of these people and harness their energy and use them for something that could be good?
“If someone with little or no education who has extreme enterprise and talent could have his energy channelled in the right direction, what could they achieve for themselves and our country?”

That is one smart kid

[rossmum]

That kid owns, quite frankly

[Bodzilla]

what a fucking legend.

he's got some of the most powerful people in the world by the nose and was was leading them where ever he wanted.

Brilliant.

[klange]

I'd bet in three years he'll have started an actual aviation firm through his tactics.

[Hotrod]

Shit, I wish I were that kid. I'm still trying to figure out how he managed to do all that.

[Con]

He should seriously work his way up to a top position in an airline company... I'd hire him.

[OmegaDragon]

The following story contains a furry that planned to get his penis bitten off if his parents were killed by another furry.

http://www.lep.co.uk/news/Son-39in-p...ill.5477291.jp

A man plotted to kill his adoptive parents with the help of a friend he met on the internet, a court has heard.
Christopher Monks, 24, wanted Shaun Skarnes to murder his parents Christopher and Elizabeth Monks while they slept and then perform an extreme sex act on him, Preston Crown Court was told.

The bisexual pair are alleged to have hatched the plot after meeting on an internet site about "Furries" – people who pretend to be animal characters and share sexual role-playing fantasies.

Skarnes, 19, visited Monks' family home in Preston Road, Clayton-le-Woods, near Chorley, in February after weeks of chatting to him online.

The two played computer games before Skarnes left, telling Mr and Mrs Monks he was getting the train home to Ellesmere Port, Cheshire, and thanking them for having him round.

Monks then watched a DVD with his parents while Skarnes waited for hours in a playpark nearby until he received a text from his friend, telling him the couple were asleep in the four-bedroom house they shared with their son.

Mr Monks woke in the early hours of the morning to find Skarnes beside his bed, clutching a kitchen knife.

He grappled with the intruder and yelled for help from his wife, who was sleeping downstairs.

Dad-of-three Mr Monks told the court: "I thought he was trying to kill me. My wife tried to hit him with a stick but it broke.

"She then began to talk to him in a calming way. At that point, his manner changed completely."

The couple went downstairs to find a police officer on the doorstep, who had responded to Mrs Monks' 999 call.

Mr Monks was left with bruised arms, a cut palm and bite marks.

Monks, who was downstairs during the attack, was initially treated as a witness but then later arrested.

Prosecutor Dennis Watson QC told the court that while Skarnes carried out the attack, ex-Runshaw College student Monks stayed downstairs, deleting "incriminating" text messages.

Mr Watson said Monks had talked about his sexual desire for his penis to be bitten off in online chatroom discussions.

He told the jury: "It may seem extreme that he wanted his penis bitten off, but there is ample evidence from websites he visited and conversations with Shaun Skarnes that this was a deeply held interest and one he found sexually stimulating.

"It seems that Skarnes was to receive no money for killing Mr and Mrs Monks but the prospect of biting off Monks' penis. This was the climactic act of the conspiracy."

Elizabeth Monks told the court that her adopted son was a quiet boy who never lost his temper and did well at his temping job at an educational training centre, where she also works.

Her husband added: "We have no doubt that (Christopher) did not intend to go to this extreme.There is no-one in our closest circle of friends who is not shocked at what has happened."

Skarnes, of Sutton Way, Ellesmere Port, and Monks both deny conspiracy to murder Mr and Mrs Monks.
(Proceeding)