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Thread: Articles Funny Random

  1. #361
    комисса́р кøja Cojafoji's Avatar
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    Re: Articles Funny Random

    My dick just got REALLLLLLLLY hard.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8645511.stm

    Europe has chosen the place it wants to build the world's biggest telescope.
    The observatory will be constructed on Cerro Armazones, a 3,000m-high mountain in Chile's Atacama Desert.

    The E-ELT (European Extremely Large Telescope) will have a primary mirror 42m in diameter - about five times the width of today's best telescopes.

    Astronomers say the next-generation observatory will be so powerful it will be able to image directly rocky planets beyond our Solar System.

    It should also be able to provide major insights into the nature of black holes, galaxy formation, the mysterious "dark matter" that pervades the Universe, and the even more mysterious "dark energy" which appears to be pushing the cosmos apart at an accelerating rate.

    E-ELT - BIGGEST EYE ON THE SKY
    Basic design completed in 2006; detailed work now under way
    Main mirror consists of 984 segments; each is 1.45m wide
    Final image requires use of four further - but smaller - mirrors
    Latest optics techniques correct for atmospheric distortions
    Construction could start in 2011; likely cost is one billion euros

    Final go-ahead for the E-ELT is expected at the end of this year.
    The European Southern Observatory (Eso) organisation which is managing the project says it hopes the telescope can be operational by 2018.

    The estimated cost is in the region of a billion euros.

    The decision on the E-ELT site was taken by the ESO Council after several years of study at competing locations that included other places in Chile, and in the Canary Islands, Spain.


    The 5,500-tonne behemoth could be operating by 2018


    Cerro Armazones is just 20km from Cerro Paranal, where Eso operates its Very Large Telescope facility - a suite of interconnected telescopes that includes four units with primary mirrors measuring 8.2m.

    Like Paranal, Armazones will enjoy near-perfect observing conditions - at least 320 nights a year when the sky is cloudless. The Atacama's famous aridity means the amount of water vapour in the atmosphere is very limited, reducing further the perturbation starlight experiences as it passes through the Earth's atmosphere.

    Coming up with a workable design has been a challenge. It is impossible to make a monolithic mirror on such a scale and so the primary reflecting surface will be composed of 984 hexagonal segments, each 1.45m in size.

    The E-ELT will thus be able to gather 15 times more light than the largest optical telescopes operating today. It will also provide images 15 times sharper than those from the Hubble Space Telescope.

    The huge telescope is one of the major projects listed on a roadmap of research infrastructures that Europe feels it needs to fulfil its scientific goals over the next 20 years.

    Other facilities range from high-powered laser systems through to a plan to construct the world's most advanced polar ice-breaker.
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  2. #362
    $20 bill y'all Bodzilla's Avatar
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    Re: Articles Funny Random

    god bless europe.

    at least the entire word isnt run by fucking bean counters.
    good job guys!
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  3. #363
    Senior Member teh lag's Avatar
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    Re: Articles Funny Random

    IT sounds like a comic book plot - Spiderman foils a would-be thief as Star Wars Jedi Knights block the escape route and superhero The Flash looks on.

    But this was the scene played out in a city shop on Saturday, when a business owner dressed as Spiderman stopped a man shoplifting an X-Men book worth $160.

    Adelaide Comics Centre owner Michael Baulderstone, 45, spotted a man "behaving suspiciously" at the back of his Rundle Mall store, before discovering he had put the valuable book in his backpack.

    "We had about 40 people dressed up as their favourite superheroes to celebrate International Free Comic Day, so he didn't have much of a choice but to hand the X-Men Omnibus back after a little bit of a scuffle," he said.

    "I've had a look at the security footage and it shows Spiderman running down the corridor of the shop, grabbing this guy, hauling him off.
    "Everyone in the store thought it was a play, that it was street theatre of some sort. It wasn't until I said `call the police' that people started to realise."

    Police confirmed they attended the comic book shop just before 10am and are continuing their investigation into the incident.

    "One of the funniest things about the incident was that I called for people to stand near the door and it just so happened we had people dressed as Jedi Knights there blocking the exit, the Flash was there at some point too," Mr Baulderstone said.

    "It was a bit serious at the time, but now we're looking back laughing at what greeted police."
    http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/s...-1225861501536

    hmm.
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  4. #364

  5. #365
    $20 bill y'all Bodzilla's Avatar
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    Re: Articles Funny Random

    that looks like a sensational read.

    PS, what did you type in to find that.
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  6. #366
    комисса́р кøja Cojafoji's Avatar
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    Re: Articles Funny Random

    LOL niggerbastard...

    Gotta get a copy of that...
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  7. #367
    huehuehue annihilation's Avatar
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    Re: Articles Funny Random

    March 8) -- Sometimes multitasking has its limits.

    Such is the case in the Florida Keys, where police say a 37-year-old woman crashed her 1995 Ford Thunderbird into another car as she attempted to shave her bikini area.

    According to the arrest report, on March 2, Megan Mariah Barnes told Florida State Trooper Gary Dunick that she was on her way to Key West to meet her boyfriend, and that she "wanted to be ready for the visit." So, police say she had her ex-husband, Charles Judy, who was riding in the passenger seat, take the wheel while she attended to her pubic hair.
    sauce

    Looks like

    She was in a hairy situation.
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  8. #368

    Re: Articles Funny Random

    That would of been forgivable if she was hot, but no, of course not.
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  9. #369
    комисса́р кøja Cojafoji's Avatar
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    Re: Articles Funny Random

    Ugh god damnit. That picture was not the way I wanted to start the day...
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  10. #370
    комисса́р кøja Cojafoji's Avatar
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    Re: Articles Funny Random

    http://web.mit.edu/newsoffice/2010/f...tion-0510.html

    Also, master chief would be raped by Worf. Straight up anally penetrated to death.



    I know decades away but still.

    Russia and Italy have entered into an agreement to build a new fusion reactor outside Moscow that could become the first such reactor to achieve ignition, the point where a fusion reaction becomes self-sustaining instead of requiring a constant input of energy. The design for the reactor, called Ignitor, originated with MIT physics professor Bruno Coppi, who will be the project’s principal investigator.

    The concept for the new reactor builds on decades of experience with MIT’s Alcator fusion research program, also initiated by Coppi, which in its present version (called Alcator C-Mod) has the highest magnetic field and highest plasma pressure (two of the most important measures of performance in magnetic fusion) of any fusion reactor, and is the largest university-based fusion reactor in the world.

    The key ingredient in all fusion experiments is plasma, a kind of hot gas made up of charged particles such as atomic nuclei and electrons. In fusion reactors, atomic nuclei — usually of isotopes of hydrogen called deuterium and tritium — are forced together through a combination of heat and pressure to overcome their natural electrostatic repulsion. When the nuclei join together, or fuse, they release prodigious amounts of energy.

    Ignitor would be about twice the size of Alcator C-Mod, with a main donut-shaped chamber 1.3 meters across, and have an even stronger magnetic field. It will be much smaller and less expensive than the major international fusion project called ITER (with a chamber 6.2 meters across), currently under construction in France. Though originally designed to achieve ignition, the ITER reactor has been scaled back and is now not expected to reach that milestone.

    The Ignitor reactor, Coppi says, will be “a very compact, inexpensive type of machine,” and unlike the larger ITER could be ready to begin operations within a few years. Its design is based on a particularly effective combination of factors that researchers unexpectedly discovered during the many years of running the Alcator program, and that were later confirmed in experiments at other reactors. Together, these factors produce especially good confinement of the plasma and a high degree of purity (impurities in the hot gases can be a major source of inefficiency). The new design aims to preserve these features to produce the highest plasma current densities — the amount of electric current in a given area of plasma. The design also has additional structures needed to produce and confine burning fusion plasmas in order to create the conditions needed for ignition, Coppi says.

    Coppi plans to work with the Italian ministry of research and Evgeny Velikhov, president of the Kurchatov Institute in Moscow, to finalize the distribution of tasks for the machine, the core of which is to be built in Italy and then installed in Troitsk, near Moscow, on the site of that institute’s present Triniti reactor. Velikhov, as it happens, is also the chair of the ITER council. Coppi says of these two different programs, “there’s no competition, we are complementary.”

    Although seen as a possible significant contributor to the world’s energy needs because it would be free of greenhouse-gas emissions, practical fusion power remains at least two decades away, most scientists in the field agree. But the initial impetus for setting up the Alcator reactor in the 1970s had more to do with pure science: “It was set up to simulate the X-ray stars that we knew at that time,” says Coppi, whose research work has as much to do with astrophysics as with energy. Stars are themselves made of plasma and powered by fusion, and the only way to study their atomic-level behavior in detail is through experiments inside fusion reactors.

    Once the reactor was in operation, he says, “we found we were producing plasmas with unusual properties,” and realized this might represent a path to the long-sought goal of fusion ignition.

    Roscoe White, a distinguished research fellow at the Princeton Plasma Physics Laboratory, says that “the whole point of Ignitor is to find out how a burning plasma behaves, and there could be pleasant or unpleasant results coming from it. Whatever is learned is a gain. Nobody knows exactly how it will perform, that is the point of the experiment.” But while its exact results are unknown, White says it is important to pursue this project in addition to other approaches to fusion. “With our present knowledge it is very risky to commit the program to a single track reactor development — our knowledge is still in flux,” he says.

    In addition, he says, “the completion of ITER, the only currently projected burning plasma experiment, is decades off. Experimental data concerning a burning plasma would be very welcome, and could lead to important results helping the cause of practical fusion power.” Furthermore, the Ignitor approach, if all goes well, could lead to more compact and economical future reactors: Some recent results from existing reactors, plus new information to be gained from Ignitor, “could lead to reactor designs much smaller and simpler than ITER,” he says.

    Coppi remains especially interested in the potential of the new reactor to make new discoveries about fundamental physics. Quoting the late MIT physicist and Institute Professor Bruno Rossi, Coppi says, “whenever you do experiments in an unknown regime, you will find something new.” The new machine’s findings, he suggests, “will have a strong impact on astrophysics.”
    Last edited by Cojafoji; May 10th, 2010 at 05:20 PM.
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